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 -5Posted on May 29th, 2012 | re: Mad Men: This Is A Good Show (110 comments)

I’d watch Don and Ginsberg hang out, watch the game, drink some brews, jerk each other off, see who can cum the farthest, no gay shit.

 +3Posted on May 14th, 2012 | re: Tiny Today Show Genius Has To Poop, NOW (24 comments)

She realizes that the Today Show is less important than a child’s dump, you don’t have to be that smart to get that.

He also made possibly the only genuine apology any celebrity has ever issued after saying something bigoted.

Gourmet tip: eat a Chicken in a Biscuit and a Bacon Thin at the same time for that classic chicken club experience

 +4Posted on Apr 27th, 2012 | re: Tips For Solo Dining (72 comments)

I’ve only been to Hooters once and I didn’t find it sexy at all. Probably shouldn’t blame Hooters for that though, I was six years old.

 +3Posted on Apr 27th, 2012 | re: Tips For Solo Dining (72 comments)

You’re welcome, cinebuddy ;)

 +2Posted on Apr 26th, 2012 | re: The Petting Zoo: The Week's Top 10 Animal Videos (18 comments)

I don’t approve of the phrase “you don’t know where it’s been.” It’s a dog’s tongue, you know damn well it’s been in the dog’s asshole. The phrase should be “don’t let that dog lick you, it licks its own asshole.”

 +7Posted on Apr 23rd, 2012 | re: Mad Men: Orange Sherbet You Glad I Didn't Say LSD? (66 comments)

Yeah I’m more of a lime man myself but anyone who says they don’t like orange sherbet is a damn liar

 +4Posted on Apr 23rd, 2012 | re: The Perfect (Not Perfect) Crime: Stealing A Penguin From Sea World (15 comments)

he was busy FUCKING HIS GRANDDAUGHTER, because once you find out that he FUCKED HIS GRANDDAUGHTER, then the only context you can imagine Morgan Freeman in THE CONTEXT OF FUCKING HIS GRANDDAUGHTER

Well how are we supposed to find out, actually WATCH that old malarkey? No thank you, no thank you.

THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE MARQUESS OF QUEENSBURY [fisticuff noises]

 +5Posted on Apr 3rd, 2012 | re: A Skip Down Memory Lane With "The Skipper" (34 comments)

His knees killed him in self defense

My conspiracy theory: a studio was thinking of making an adaptation of this comic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pax_Romana_(comics)

Instead they pay this guy on Reddit like $20, creating plausible deniability against the idea that they’re ripping off the comic.

 +3Posted on Mar 21st, 2012 | re: The Videogum Why Don't YOU Caption It? Contest: All The Chuckies (62 comments)

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I’m still scarred from seeing Child’s Play when I was 5, this picture is triggering my fight or flight response such that I want to murder everybody ever, set fire to the whole world just to be rid of the possibility of ever encountering this in real life.

 0Posted on Mar 13th, 2012 | re: The Walking Dead S02E12: Two Shanes Enter, One Shane BRAINS! (120 comments)

What Rick goes back to Shane’s grave to do…it’s beyond pornographic. Right after I read it, a pastor appeared in my living room and punched me in the solar plexus, no lie.

 +5Posted on Mar 13th, 2012 | re: The Walking Dead S02E12: Two Shanes Enter, One Shane BRAINS! (120 comments)

Maybe it was part of the contract that Robert Kirkman’s horrible issues with women (lack of understanding and empathy, appallingly regressive gender roles, being a fat ol’ nerd) had to become part of the show, so the rape was forgotten/forgiven. (Nerds)

 +3Posted on Mar 13th, 2012 | re: Super Hero Disco Dance Party (30 comments)

See I don’t know what they’re playing at, they have Shang Chi, Master of Kung Fu, but neither Power Man nor Iron Fist? What kind of 70′s is this?