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call me ransom
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 +2Posted on Dec 6th, 2010 | re: Merry Christmas From Basil Marceaux Dot Com (69 comments)

http://bennyhillifier.com/?id=5hcVleGxx40

Holy shit, you guys, it’s the ghost of Benny Hill. This explains a lot.

 +6Posted on Nov 15th, 2010 | re: The Walking Dead S01E03: We've Got To Go Back To The Atlanta! (143 comments)

I wonder if Sarah Wayne Callies is getting tired of being in shows where a racist loses a hand to get out of cuffs during an escape attempt.

 -1Posted on Nov 8th, 2010 | re: The Walking Dead S01E02: No One On The Corner Has Stagger Like Grimes (118 comments)

I hate zombies using tools, and I hate zombie camouflage, and after that episode, I’m afraid I might be starting to hate this show. Maybe it’s my fault for watching Dead Set.

 +29Posted on Nov 5th, 2010 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (168 comments)

 0Posted on Oct 8th, 2010 | re: The Great Internet Experiment Is Over (Please?) (64 comments)

My copy of the book is at work (because sometimes I just get too cheerful there and I need to even it out a little), but didn’t the man still have two bullets in that part?

 +2Posted on Sep 9th, 2010 | re: The Cutest Bomb Scare (50 comments)

“Life-like”? Really?

 +7Posted on Sep 9th, 2010 | re: This Is Your Candidate For Stark County, Ohio, Treasurer: Phil Davison (58 comments)

It’s like a deleted scene from a Parks & Rec episode, if Parks & Rec was kind of terrifying sometimes.

I’m with Basil Marceaux Dot Com. Unmarked patriot missiles for everyone!

 +11Posted on Jul 26th, 2010 | re: Goodbye, San Diego, Hello, Mad Men, And Hot Tips Open Thread (251 comments)

How about Don’s “Believe me, Henry, everybody thinks this is temporary.”

 +9Posted on Jun 28th, 2010 | re: Taking One For The Team: Glenn Beck's The Overton Window (98 comments)

It’s cool, guys, everybody can stop looking. They finally found The Worst. All it needs is a soundtrack by Mr. Ted Pullman, and we can put it on a pedestal so that everyone can see it, and then shoot themselves.

 +5Posted on May 17th, 2010 | re: When You Wrestle With The Haters, You're Gonna Get Wet With Vlogs (50 comments)

It took about forty seconds before “hater” did that thing where something stops being a word and just turns into a meaningless sound.

 +22Posted on May 4th, 2010 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Tyra Banks (78 comments)

 +32Posted on Apr 29th, 2010 | re: You Can Make It Up: Betty White Signs Up For Facebook (65 comments)

I for one want to congratulate Gabe on so effectively capturing the point of view of a woman old enough to be his daughter.

 +12Posted on Apr 28th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Why Don't You Caption It? Contest: Larry King At A Dodgers Game (185 comments)

Larry King faith-healings sometimes “accidentally” go “wrong”.

 +7Posted on Apr 26th, 2010 | re: Who Is Betty White's Publicist? (80 comments)

For being so old, the Wang 2200 sounds bizarrely futuristic. (Futurotic?) (No, just futuristic.)

 +21Posted on Apr 22nd, 2010 | re: You Can Make It Up: Scott Baio Has A Picture Of A Woman In His Wallet (70 comments)

I think Scott Baio might be downrating everybody.

 +1Posted on Apr 21st, 2010 | re: Pay For Your TV Hat With The New $100 Bill (56 comments)

They’ve actually been releasing a new bill every year for a very, very long time. The designers are just usually incredibly lazy.

 +5Posted on Apr 21st, 2010 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Soy Sauce Tax Form Guy (81 comments)

Not to hit you in the back of the head with a lead knowledge bomb or anything, Squeezy, but the government has both put people in jail for tax evasion AND beaten the living shit out of people with a cane.

 +13Posted on Apr 21st, 2010 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Soy Sauce Tax Form Guy (81 comments)

And judging from the mess he made of that form, fuckin’ soy sauce packets, how do THEY work?

Betty White jumps on the Australian wild dog impressions bandwagon.

 0Posted on Apr 15th, 2010 | re: Best New Party Game: 21: #grossmoviequoteomissions (391 comments)

Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new _____, to seek out new ___-forms and new __________; to boldly _____ where no one has _____ before.

 +34Posted on Apr 15th, 2010 | re: Would You Like To Buy a JAIL CELL? (102 comments)

Fucking age of consent, how does it work?