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Brian the Astronaut
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 +5Posted on Jan 23rd, 2013 | re: Here Are Some Morning Links! (11 comments)

Misread the above as “Behold Duff Goldman’s Star Spangled Inaugural Da Cake Eatur”

 +11Posted on Jan 17th, 2013 | re: Snake Chases Workers Manti Te'o Open Thread (115 comments)

If this is a Jackie Gleason joke, then I’m the 85 year old dancing to house music at the club.

 +1Posted on Jan 10th, 2013 | re: The First Jam Of 2013: Froggy Fresh - "Same Old Kid" (25 comments)

My mind is blown, and yet I am really not disappointed at all, because his rap game kills, and he just won.

 +2Posted on Dec 11th, 2012 | re: This Is Just A Good Cover Of Katy Perry's "Fireworks" By Yoko Ono (36 comments)

And that’s exactly why this is wonderful.

 +6Posted on Nov 26th, 2012 | re: Everyone Saw A Movie This Past Weekend, Did You? (54 comments)

Can anyone answer for me why the first episode has the Sylvester character talking in the first person, yet all the other episodes are in the third person? Also, if Sylvester woke up at 7 in the morning in a strange bed, and didn’t know who Cathy was, how is it possible that Sylvester later meets Cathy in a diner to collect his money for a staged hook-up to respark Cathy’s relationship with Rufus? I thought he didn’t know who Cathy was until he woke up the next morning.

I guess I just have a lot of questions about “Trapped in the Closet,” guys.

 +12Posted on Nov 26th, 2012 | re: Everyone Saw A Movie This Past Weekend, Did You? (54 comments)

I didn’t see a movie this weekend, but I did spend three hours watching “Trapped in the Closet” on IFC. Does that count?

 +9Posted on Nov 14th, 2012 | re: The New York Times Reviews Guy Fieri's New Restaurant (32 comments)

I once had pancakes that tasted like fish at a diner, but being the kind of person I am, I presumed I was just being crazy, and kept eating them. Bite after bite of mackerel-infused maple syrup passed through my mouth, until finally not even the taste of bacon could eradicate the feeling of eating low tide from my senses. Yes, I returned the foul dish, but not before experiencing the flavor enough times that when the New York Times reviewed Guy Fieri’s new restaurant and described the marshmallows, I was struck with the sensation once more.

 +1Posted on Oct 8th, 2012 | re: Ohio State Marching Band Expose Themselves As NERDS! (16 comments)

“What happened outside? At a FOOTBALL GAME?!?” – nerds

 +24Posted on Sep 17th, 2012 | re: Robocop's New Outfit Stinks (36 comments)

He looks like he bought that suit for a dollar.

 +2Posted on Sep 12th, 2012 | re: Wednesday Afternoon Dance Break! (9 comments)

“The Kids are all Wrong” is the title of my next album. Thank you.

 +8Posted on Sep 11th, 2012 | re: Reader Poll: Do You Agree With Nick Cassavetes About Incest? N/N? (68 comments)

I don’t know what the intended result of posting this GIF was, but I just laughed my ass off for the past ten minutes watching the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee punch George W Bush in the face and make him barf a bald eagle with bodybuilder arms.

 +3Posted on Sep 11th, 2012 | re: Idaho Weatherman Really Went For It (10 comments)

Okay. I know I should groan and wince and all, but I actually thought that – as ads for local TV affiliate weathermen go – this was remarkably competent. Not quite sure why the shoutout to Dairy Queen or the whole Martian thing, but, you know “been number one so long I don’t know how to write the number two” isn’t all that bad for a weatherman.

 +6Posted on Sep 6th, 2012 | re: Nick Nolte Riding A Bumper Car Is Perfect (18 comments)

Judging by his face, he seems to be consumed with quite an Affliction.

 +27Posted on Sep 6th, 2012 | re: Relaxing Hawaii Beach Scene (26 comments)

Less Sand. – facetaco

 +5Posted on Sep 4th, 2012 | re: Russell Crowe Got Lost Kayaking For A Sec. This Weekend (18 comments)

Is a possum like an otter? Because I found one of those in my back yard this weekend.

 +6Posted on Sep 4th, 2012 | re: Chuck Norris And Wife Have A Dire Warning For Obama's America (50 comments)

GIFs or it didn’t happen.

 +19Posted on Sep 4th, 2012 | re: Chuck Norris And Wife Have A Dire Warning For Obama's America (50 comments)

I know they’re in his dojo and all, but perhaps showing a rack of white robes behind his wife wasn’t the best idea considering the message.

 +6Posted on Aug 13th, 2012 | re: You Don't Know Me, But I'd Like To Talk To You About Morris Dancing (53 comments)

Caroline, if you want to see some Morris Dancing in the good ole’ US of A, come on down to my son’s Winter Revels at Worthington Hooker Elementary School in December. Gotta admit, New Englanders are still rocking shit people stopped doing in England 500 years ago.

 +1Posted on Aug 9th, 2012 | re: Six Full Minutes Of Honesty (25 comments)

This is all well and good, but I’m waiting to pass judgement for when Heinrich Stockhausen scores his next work for helicopter blades and unbreakable glass.

 +10Posted on Aug 9th, 2012 | re: Six Full Minutes Of Honesty (25 comments)

I can’t stand how insipid this thread has become! – Balk Talk

 +1Posted on Aug 8th, 2012 | re: What Is Joss Whedon's Marvel Television Show Going To Be? (38 comments)

I’m still sore over Alicia being a Skrull, lilbob’s. I completely understand.

 +4Posted on Aug 8th, 2012 | re: What Is Joss Whedon's Marvel Television Show Going To Be? (38 comments)

Is it okay that I thought for a second you were talking about Batroc, the Leaper? Yes? Please?

 +12Posted on Aug 8th, 2012 | re: What Is Joss Whedon's Marvel Television Show Going To Be? (38 comments)

Tony Stark hosts a competitive bartending show on the Food Network called “Demon in a Bottle”

 +5Posted on Aug 8th, 2012 | re: What Is Joss Whedon's Marvel Television Show Going To Be? (38 comments)

Hawkeye as “The Bachelor”, and some of the prospective women are secretly spies who betray him to their corporate superiors (and one of them is M.O.D.A.M.)

 +8Posted on Jul 19th, 2012 | re: Operation Benedict Cumberbatch Everywhere (23 comments)

My wife would like to tell all you ladies to bugger off. She saw him first.

As her husband, I would like to imagine that he is gay. (My wife sobbed openly during Tinker Tailor when his character came out of the closet).