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bob_average
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 +13Posted on Nov 20th, 2013 | re: Daniel Day-Lewis's Son Is A Rapper, No Duh (31 comments)

Drainage, drainage, Imma speak to ya plain-age
If you gotta a milkshake, and I gots the same-ege,
And my straw reaches to where you at
I! Drink! Your! Milkshake! And your oil, and all that
Now I’m on a lethal mixture of whisky and gin
So Imma bash in yo head with this bowling pin

 0Posted on Sep 11th, 2012 | re: This Seems Like A Legitimate Party (25 comments)

Catnip.

 +1Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: Think Toilets Are Gross? Put One In Your Pocket! (42 comments)

You didn’t like mine yet.

 0Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: What Should J.J. Abrams' Robot Buddy Cop Show Be Called? (56 comments)

Aaaaw, the robot pictured is the Robot from a Doctor Who story called Robot. Usually sans cop hat. You guys DO love Doctor Who after all!

 0Posted on Sep 6th, 2012 | re: What Is Your Dream Broadway Musical Adaptation Of A Movie? (52 comments)

There Will Be Blood.

 +1Posted on Sep 6th, 2012 | re: Think Toilets Are Gross? Put One In Your Pocket! (42 comments)

Is it weird that this is the advert my computer displays when I’m looking at this story?

 +4Posted on Sep 4th, 2012 | re: Chuck Norris And Wife Have A Dire Warning For Obama's America (50 comments)

Another video which can be considerably improved by replacing the actual soundtrack with ‘Master of the House’ from the Les Misérables French language concept album!

 +9Posted on Sep 4th, 2012 | re: A Morning Of Conflicting Feelings (43 comments)

This baby’s all like, “no sand!”

 +2Posted on Aug 29th, 2012 | re: Breaking Bad S05E07: "Say My Name, Say My Name" (132 comments)

I thought he was going to go down in the park in front of his grand daughter, and I was like, “surely the writers can’t be so cruel!!”

But then he got killed pointlessly by Walt and died with his murderer whimpering and apologising beside him… much better. :S

 +2Posted on Aug 28th, 2012 | re: Because Tom Hanks And Some Kid And Pizza And Life (36 comments)

This entire story about Tom Hanks, and glasses, and pizza, and a fan… it’s all just one big Gordian Knot of non sequiturs!

Doctor Who recaps? I’ll do ‘em. Eye’m a good writurr! (No, really, I am.)

 +19Posted on Aug 23rd, 2012 | re: Videogum Now Accepting Submissions And Other Notes On The Future Of Videogum (170 comments)

Yeah, that’s a damn good idea, djfreshié!

 +47Posted on Aug 23rd, 2012 | re: Videogum Now Accepting Submissions And Other Notes On The Future Of Videogum (170 comments)

And while you’re at it, make it so I comment more witty.

 +11Posted on Aug 23rd, 2012 | re: Videogum Now Accepting Submissions And Other Notes On The Future Of Videogum (170 comments)

“the part of growth that is the most exciting is the part where the site can just become something MORE than what it is right now. Obviously, that means making some changes to what the site even IS, and change is weird and off-putting, and that’s why we are closing Videogum.”

That’s totally where I thought you were going with that.

 +1Posted on Aug 17th, 2012 | re: Hey, Everybody! It's Friday! Isn't That Great! (28 comments)

So many winners in there. I tried to select a winner, but there are just too many.

 +3Posted on Aug 17th, 2012 | re: Hey, Everybody! It's Friday! Isn't That Great! (28 comments)

I liked it when the shoots started sprouting at the end. It made me think, “hey, out of all this degradation and rot, some life is growing.” But then at the very end, two of the shoots gracelessly collapsed against the side of the bowl, compounding the idea that nothing good or strong can grow out of this horrible bowl of vegetable mulch.

Well, that’s all I’ve got to say on the subject. Have a great weekend, guys!

 0Posted on Aug 14th, 2012 | re: You Don't Know Me, But I'd Like To Talk To You About Morris Dancing (53 comments)

Um, no, sorry. I didn’t notice it. Unless it was a reference to this Del Close: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Del_Close Which I somehow doubt.

 +6Posted on Aug 13th, 2012 | re: You Don't Know Me, But I'd Like To Talk To You About Morris Dancing (53 comments)

… but I was watching on the BBC.

 +4Posted on Aug 13th, 2012 | re: You Don't Know Me, But I'd Like To Talk To You About Morris Dancing (53 comments)

I don’t remember them either!?

 +17Posted on Aug 13th, 2012 | re: You Don't Know Me, But I'd Like To Talk To You About Morris Dancing (53 comments)

I’m British. Are you therefore calling me a puffed-up buffoon, thou Carrion monster!? Gordon Bennett, you made a right numpty out of me you barmy wazzack! Yer off yer bloomin’ rocker! Thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up, and howl’st to find it! Flippin’ piss-artist! I wouldn’t ‘ave that for me Tommy-Tucker if it was cooked up with onions! Etc, etc.

 +3Posted on Jul 18th, 2012 | re: Aubrey Plaza On Late Night (3 comments)

Great name, Aubrey Plaza. Anybody think of that?

 +17Posted on Jul 17th, 2012 | re: Everything's Going Fine (15 comments)

The cat lifted off without its rockets firing. This video is unrealistic!

 0Posted on Jul 5th, 2012 | re: "The Ultimate Fireworks FAIL Compilation" (13 comments)

I love how a few of these people appear to have been completely atomised after the explosion dies down and the smoke clears. They’re just gone!

 +1Posted on Jun 27th, 2012 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (15 comments)

Why does Videogum hate Doctor Who?

 +2Posted on Jun 25th, 2012 | re: This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys (43 comments)

Oh my God… I’m almost 30!