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bengootscar

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 +6Posted on Sep 30th, 2009 | re: There Is Almost Certainly No Jimmy Kimmel And Sarah Silverman Sex Tape (31 comments)

Dax Shepard is his own grandpa.

 +5Posted on Sep 30th, 2009 | re: What Should Jessica Alba's Awkward Meet The Fockers Name Be? (54 comments)

Stacy Sexasaurus Rex
“We come from a proud tradition of mighty dinosaurs with even mightier labidos.”

 +2Posted on Sep 23rd, 2009 | re: thirtysomething: Couples (15 comments)

I am frustrated by Eliot’s name’s lack of a second L.

 +3Posted on Sep 21st, 2009 | re: Matthew Lillard Is Back, Son! (32 comments)

it’s rare that an actor develops the complexities of a character based entirely around “Everything I say in this movie should sound like Richard Gere desperately weeping ‘I got no where else to go!’ but less good and more nasal.”
-An Officer and a Gentleman 2: Wing Commanderer- starring Matthew Lillard.
Lillard is such a Gere-head!

 +11Posted on Sep 17th, 2009 | re: Paranormal Activity Scares The Dummies, Apparently (50 comments)

so the ghost waited to do stuff till the cameras were filming?
would that make the ghost is an “attention horror”?
PS
that is the greatest thing i’ve EVER written.

 0Posted on Sep 9th, 2009 | re: You Guys, We Should Buy More Chicken. And Dokken. Or Something. (15 comments)

No argument there, I’M JUST SAYING that some 900 kids who watch Adult Swim and figured that they were the only counter-culture-heads on the planet who’d have ever thunk to reference Dokken and knife fight a raw chicken with incredible puppetry(absolutely, Bubba) will NOT be able to fathom that their humor is now shilling an anti-virus computer program without rejecting it as “so lame” as to move on towards something more precious and under appreciated to keep their “edge”.
This entire argument sounded better when I was yelling it at my computer alone in my bedroom.

 -9Posted on Sep 9th, 2009 | re: You Guys, We Should Buy More Chicken. And Dokken. Or Something. (15 comments)

These irreverent commercials will never win bc
a) you don’t think it’s funny
b) you think it’s funny but you get uptight bc you realize your sense of humor isn’t a precious snowflake and you’re really no better than anybody else

 +17Posted on Sep 8th, 2009 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: AIDS ≠ Hitler (44 comments)

To be fair, Hitler really puts the fuck down here.
I don’t know what I’m being fair to, I think I just want somebody else to acknowledge that they also noticed this.

a simple plot tweak “Hot Tub Time Armored-Truck” would save The Oscars a lot of time on deciding their Movie to Represent Mankind award.

 +20Posted on Sep 2nd, 2009 | re: thirtysomething: Pilot Episode (58 comments)

Having extramarital sex with Timothy Busfield has not aged well either.

 +2Posted on Aug 25th, 2009 | re: A Stupid Person's Pedestrian Thoughts About A Complicated Thing (52 comments)

To be fair to the billion dollar corporations( ))< $>(( ), the Fox talking-head millionaires have NEVER been too shy about boycotting any given company under the bus (Hannity, Giant Fuming Head) in reactionary, blowhard ratings grabs that they feel their audience can easily get behind with lynch mob-esque mentality.
not the same but sorta maybe. (boycotting an advertiser’s competing brand? boycotting a lost sponsor?)
the gist is that these guys aren’t so chill themselves and STILL have more ad money than god and ill-informed people will still follow and these advertisers will one day come back bc time heals all and the circle of life.

 -2Posted on Aug 18th, 2009 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Cat Massage Lady (31 comments)

no no no wait stop…who’s amrit…that guy doesn’t have enough good opinions about this fun new twitter party game to be me! “i get the news I need on the weather report” life and cat massage. never forget.

 0Posted on Aug 6th, 2009 | re: Another 7-Year-Old Runs Into Trouble With The Law (12 comments)

Dear Mr and Mrs Earnest,
You made a 7-year old appear before a City Council Board to fight for her right to go to Disney World. Life is not going to live out well for her…
http://videogum.com/archives/viral-video/a-brave-california-woman-solves-all-the-problems_081302.html

So from what I gather, this is something that others clearly see and you might say…
“Hey, elitist… turn off your brain and listen to this fresh “Magic Johnson is black and has AIDS” gag from this movie trailer I just saw about the charms of being an insufferable human being.”
Please stop saying stuff like that.

 +38Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Guy Who Pays For Impounded Car With Pennies (74 comments)

I pulled this same bit in high school and they wouldn’t take the pennies either.
I threatened to call the cops, but cell phones were still a Jules Verne dream.
The car was registered to my mom, so they called my mom. She came down to the tow place and I got my ass TOLD…I paid with a tear stained check minutes later.
MOMS RULE EVERYTHING AROUND ME.

 +6Posted on Jul 31st, 2009 | re: The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Is This Real Life? (34 comments)

Sheree/Anthony – [inaudible shouts] OH HELL NO YO MAMA!
{Anthony is drug away by asst. Sheree storms away to parking lot. Silence.}
Party Poet – Um, hey…you guys…if you’re still there, I’m looking for a phrase that could rhyme with Nubian Goddess…

 +12Posted on Jul 27th, 2009 | re: Entourage: Happy Birthday, Turtle (UGH!) (29 comments)

who lets something 50 Cent says to them make them feel bad? What is this…2003?

 +23Posted on Jul 24th, 2009 | re: Where Is Hot Tub Time Machine's Fan Made Poster? (42 comments)

this movie could be 90% how these 4 got in the hot tub together and future me would be all “Well, Jessica, the reason you can’t go to college is bc daddy had to go see Hot Tub Time Machine for the 54th time in theaters.”

How did she lose her pants now?

 +5Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 | re: We've Got To Go Back To The Campus! (8 comments)

Suma Cum Lonely

 +7Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 | re: How I Didn't Bother To Meet Your Mother (37 comments)

4 FUCKING STARS OUT OF 5?!?!?!?!?
you’re lucky to be getting a presentation at all what with this economy…people are indignant assholes on their iPhones.

 +5Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 | re: That's Your VJ: Greg (25 comments)

i think what you just did there is art.

 +10Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 | re: Meat Loaf Will Do Anything For Cash, And He Will Do This (Get It?) (19 comments)

10 seconds of the 47 are Meatloaf laughing to himself.
That does not a sane commercial make.

 +13Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Daniel Beddingfield Wedding Proposal Guy (44 comments)

Grounds for a “Whocka Whocka Whocka” trumping “Zing!” in this instance, your honor?…UPHELD!

 -9Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Disneyland Wedding Proposal Guy (68 comments)

Long shot, but…HOLY SHIT THAT’S THE BLACK GUY FROM MAD TV!!!!!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_LaMarr