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 +3Posted on Nov 10th, 2011 | re: Oscar Talk: The Muppets Are The New Betty White, Apparently (37 comments)

Ha, forgot about my avatar image.

 +2Posted on Nov 10th, 2011 | re: Oscar Talk: The Muppets Are The New Betty White, Apparently (37 comments)

Kermit just called me a fag.

 +1Posted on Jun 6th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Gathering Of The Juggalos (72 comments)

Fun fact: Vanilla Ice is not wearing make-up.

 +7Posted on May 24th, 2011 | re: How To Tie Your Shoes Like A Genius (40 comments)

It took me about 10 minutes to figure out how to tie my shoes the incorrect way. I’ve been doing it correctly, yet my shoes STILL constantly come untied. BULLROAR.

 +17Posted on Apr 29th, 2011 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (128 comments)

 +31Posted on Apr 4th, 2011 | re: I Think We Owe Reality Television An Apology (90 comments)

Good points, Gabe. Counter point:

 +13Posted on Feb 17th, 2011 | re: Top Chef: All-Stars S01E010: Say Hi To My Mother For Me (55 comments)

“Taste my salty soup.”

Please say the innuendo was unintentional.

 +5Posted on Feb 4th, 2011 | re: The New Face Of The Tea Party Movement (50 comments)

Life imitates S1M0NE.

 +34Posted on Jan 31st, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Eat, Pray, Love (210 comments)

The best thing about the horror story that is Elizabeth Gilbert: her ex-husband Michael Cooper also got a book deal to write about his year of coping with divorce by doing the exact opposite thing, dedicating himself doubly to humanitarianism and human rights (he already did work in this area). However, the book was canceled when he refused his publisher’s demand to make the book “racier.”

Please, 2012, come faster. Please.

 +11Posted on Jan 31st, 2011 | re: Saturday Night Live: Jesse Eisenberg And Nicki Minaj (87 comments)

Zuckerberg, age 8:

 +39Posted on Dec 15th, 2010 | re: A 12-Year Old Lectures Us About Abortion (137 comments)

I don’t understand. Is she saying I shouldn’t get an abortion to get revenge if the baby steals my boyfriend?

 +3Posted on Dec 9th, 2010 | re: Double Dream Hands! (96 comments)

Double Planet Rock

 +23Posted on Dec 6th, 2010 | re: The Beaver Trailer, You Guys (130 comments)

I bet the producers are really regretting passing over Dave Coulier for the lead right about now.

 +48Posted on Dec 3rd, 2010 | re: All The World's Biggest Stars Lip Dub "Let It Be" For Some Reason (98 comments)


“I will do anything you ask me to.”
-Jason Alexander

 +6Posted on Dec 3rd, 2010 | re: All The World's Biggest Stars Lip Dub "Let It Be" For Some Reason (98 comments)

Oops, just saw it mentioned in the original post. Who’s the Forrest Gump now? (Me, that’s who.)

 +30Posted on Dec 3rd, 2010 | re: All The World's Biggest Stars Lip Dub "Let It Be" For Some Reason (98 comments)

The biggest star of all:


Michael Conner Humphreys, the actor who played young Forrest Gump!

 +87Posted on Dec 3rd, 2010 | re: Your Girlfriend Katherine Chloe Cahoon Is Back! (110 comments)

“Yeah, I’d like to buy a book. The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men. No, no, no, it’s for my sister. No, I do not have the Internet so I order things on the phone.”

 +5Posted on Dec 2nd, 2010 | re: Top Chef: All-Stars S01E01: The Gang's All Here (And Also Marcel) (75 comments)

After 5 years someone had to have told him that the Ace Ventura haircut is a bad look, right?

Oops, nope!

 +11Posted on Dec 2nd, 2010 | re: The Andrew Show: A Racist Child Complains About Marmaduke (134 comments)

Counterproof to everything he believes is: white people are the only race stupid enough to give their children a Prince Valiant haircut.

 +48Posted on Nov 23rd, 2010 | re: Taking One For The Team: The Brokencyde Concert Challenge (163 comments)

I feel bad for Joe, but I feel worse for Brokencyde. Joe had to hear them play once. Brokencyde has to hear their own music every night.

 0Posted on Nov 23rd, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Holiday Movie Nominees (416 comments)

A million times yes. The absolute #1 worst movie I have ever seen.

 +1Posted on Nov 16th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: American Beauty (409 comments)

There is a movie you have not seen starring Gene Wilder, Donald Sutherland, with a cameo appearance by Orson Welles. It was a “comedy” made in 1970. And it is the worst piece of shit I have ever seen. It is called Start The Revolution Without Me.

In it, two sets of twins (yes, it’s one of those twins played by the same guy movies), one rich and one poor, are mixed up at birth. But then there’s mix-ups, mistaken identities, sex romps and other things people thought were funny in the 1970s. And something about the French Revolution. This “wacky” “farce” is much less “wacky” than it thinks. For instance, what the fuck is this scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ2ApmX4Z08

Ugh, this movie is a real shame. There’s such a talented cast. And I got excited at the idea of period piece parody. But this movie is the very worst pile of horse shit I have ever seen. Not a single chuckle. And the ending, oh that ending. It makes zero sense. Like, I really have no idea what was supposed to have happened at the ending. My favorite thing is that the script, which is definitely the biggest problem with this movie, actually got nominated for the Writers Guild Award for best comedy. WHAT? Please watch this terrible movie that probably cost a jillion dollars and probably made zero.

 +61Posted on Nov 4th, 2010 | re: Let's Fix The Poster For Mel Gibson's The Beaver (161 comments)

 +20Posted on Oct 28th, 2010 | re: Halloween Costume Open Thread (429 comments)

Last year I had the Kool-aid man bursting out of my chest. I ended up getting in my first fistfight since middle school (long story) while wearing it. Afterwards the cops wanted to take pictures of the costume. I swear it wasn’t a mug shot.

Just finished this year’s costume yesterday:

Ugh, just shut down the whole damn democratic process.

SHUT IT DOWN.