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 +9Posted on Mar 19th, 2012 | re: The Walking Dead S02E13: Season Finale (160 comments)

I stopped recording this terrible show at the beginning of this season, but I dutifully watched last night’s episode just to read “Gabe”‘s recap today. Well worth wasting an hour of my life.

 +1Posted on Nov 2nd, 2010 | re: Keyboard Cat's World Series Broadcast Commercial For Pistachios (118 comments)

Not enough squinting.

 +18Posted on Oct 29th, 2010 | re: Dog Pranks Owner (61 comments)

“I’m pretty sure my cat’s been reading my diary.”

 +15Posted on Oct 19th, 2010 | re: 2012 Watch: Jessica Alba's CGI Birthday Suit (48 comments)

He just wants to see boys’ Linuses.

 +18Posted on Oct 11th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Pursuit Of Happyness (146 comments)

If you think The Pursuit of Happyness is bad, then you should definitely see Seven Pounds*. MUCH more WMOAT-morthy.

*No one should definitely see Seven Pounds. It was BY FAR the worst film I saw in 2008.

 +3Posted on Sep 29th, 2010 | re: David Cross On The Countdown With Keith Olbermann (29 comments)

You’ve made a huge mistake.

 +67Posted on Sep 29th, 2010 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: Andrew Shirvell (147 comments)

Please note that name of the Attorney General of Michigan is Mike Cox.

That is all.

 +15Posted on Sep 13th, 2010 | re: The Unfortunate Return Of The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time (940 comments)

Teacher, NO!

In Iceland, Cool Ranch Doritos are called Cool American:

 +52Posted on Aug 16th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (136 comments)

It was as Ann as the nose on Plain’s face.

 +10Posted on Aug 12th, 2010 | re: Top Chef S07E08: Oh My God, They Killed Kenny (FUNNY TITLE!) (61 comments)

Go for it, whatthewhatjunior! Be brave! Be bold!

 +7Posted on Aug 9th, 2010 | re: Mad Men S04E03: New Year's Eve You Get To Stay Up To Midnight (86 comments)


 +14Posted on Aug 9th, 2010 | re: Mad Men S04E03: New Year's Eve You Get To Stay Up To Midnight (86 comments)

I don’t even know what that means.

 +3Posted on Aug 5th, 2010 | re: Top Chef S07E07: Poor Stephen. (62 comments)

I wish the producers had pulled a Shyamalan TWIST and also let Nicole into the finals. Or just eliminated Peregrine.

 +38Posted on Aug 4th, 2010 | re: Look At This Fucking Eddie Munster Love Connection (131 comments)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt can metero my dandy any time.

 -9Posted on Jul 30th, 2010 | re: It's Friday Afternoon, This Lady Just Got Paid (52 comments)

Emma Watson is a child, Steve. As in, she was born in 1990. Why don’t you let that rattle around your animatronic swamp brain for a bit?

 +10Posted on Jul 28th, 2010 | re: Hey, What's Up With Topher Grace? (83 comments)

HA ha, you don’t like this recurring feature.

 +14Posted on Jul 27th, 2010 | re: We All Win This Dance Battle (78 comments)

After all that dancing, I could sure use a VitaminWater.

 +15Posted on Jul 20th, 2010 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Armond White Is A Pretentious Jerk (34 comments)

The opening line of Ebert’s Zoolander review (dated 9/28/01) kinda sounds like he did:

There have been articles lately asking why the United States is so hated in some parts of the world. As this week’s Exhibit A from Hollywood, I offer “Zoolander,” a comedy about a plot to assassinate the prime minister of Malaysia because of his opposition to child labor.

Even Steve Winwood is right twice a day.

 +7Posted on Jul 19th, 2010 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: Inception (305 comments)

Also, if you want to think about Inception a little too much (this falls under “forcing dumb people to think”), here’s a couple good pieces about what exactly might be going on in the film. What does it meeeeaaannnn:

 +12Posted on Jul 19th, 2010 | re: The Sorcerer's Apprentice Open Thread (110 comments)

HA ha, you didn’t like a movie.

 +58Posted on Jul 15th, 2010 | re: Michael Cera Describes Losing His Virginity (72 comments)

There’s always your virginity in the banana stand.

 +4Posted on Jul 15th, 2010 | re: James Franco + Jon Hamm = Poetry And Biopics Still Suck (48 comments)

Not enough people-sized rabbits.

 +5Posted on Jul 15th, 2010 | re: The Fifth Mel Gibson Tape (80 comments)

The orphaned baby hippo thinks the tortoise is his mom! And the tortoise, despite being 100 years old, completely tolerates all that misguided love and affection!

As a society, we could learn a lot from those two.

 +4Posted on Jul 15th, 2010 | re: The Fifth Mel Gibson Tape (80 comments)

OH MY GOD. Owen and Mzee is, like, my favorite cross-species animal friendship story OF ALL TIME.

The video linked to on that page will provide a nice palate cleanser after Mel.