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arthur great
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 +10Posted on Feb 17th, 2010 | re: Hey, What's Up With Topher Grace? (64 comments)

my name is andrew, and my old roommate stole my copy of civil war land.
but it couldn’t have been you because i only go to matinees (going alone seems less sad then) and he spells his name with a ‘d.’ and a couple other different letters, now that i think of it.

 +1Posted on Jan 22nd, 2010 | re: A Round Up Of Positive Reviews Of Tooth Fairy (44 comments)

at the very least, dwayne the rock johnson is better than hulk hogan.

he’s no rowdy roddy piper, but who is?

 +9Posted on Jan 21st, 2010 | re: When You Wrestle With The Ginger, You're Gonna Get Wet With Lawyers (78 comments)

honestly, my first reaction to this video was that i’d love to see daniel day-lewis play this guy.

from director jim sheridan comes youtube: the movie. starring daniel day-lewis as youtube.

 +37Posted on Dec 4th, 2009 | re: We Are All Jersey Shore (71 comments)

I feel like it’s my duty as an Italian-American to say, I didn’t read none of that, ya fruit.

if i had a nickel for every time somebody told me, “i love you too, but i’m not a sex offender.”

 +13Posted on Dec 1st, 2009 | re: You Guys, Let's Have A Videogum Video Pizza Party For Real! (349 comments)

there’s not enough xanax in the world to get me past philly, but i’ll be there in spirit.

while there is an awkward pause i am in it; while there is a failed attempt at an inside joke i am of it; while there is a kitten in a box i am not free.

pale english guy: now i just kiss this actor-shaped static electricity balloon, and voila. you now know my haircare secret.

 +25Posted on Nov 23rd, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Closer (311 comments)

i saw closer in a movie theater in a small southern town. everybody else in the theater was over 60 years old.

i don’t remember much about the movie aside from it makes natalie portman stripping somehow boring. but what sticks with me most is that i got to hear dignified, old southern people gasp at the word “cum.”

movie ticket, $6.50 (seriously, SMALL southern town).
popcorn $0, gross.
your grandma’s face when clive owen is e-cumming all over jude law, priceless.

 +11Posted on Nov 16th, 2009 | re: The Videogum Movie Club: 2012 (53 comments)

i didn’t see it.

did the giraffes get saved?

 +18Posted on Nov 13th, 2009 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (67 comments)

when trudy let her hair down i was all like WHAAAA!!?!?!
pete, we all love foreign nannies and dowdy working girls, but you got a great thing going with trudy. she’s secretly hot (the best kind of hot) and she’s on two of the best shows on tv – that’s a classy lady right there. if i were you, i’d keep my charleston in my pants when she’s not around.
signed,
arthur great, trudy campbell fan club vice-treasurer

 +7Posted on Nov 11th, 2009 | re: MTV's Jersey Shore Proves That We Live In The Era Of The Douchebag (100 comments)

listening to GY!BE, didn’t bother to turn it off when playing this video. big mistake.

i’m scared for the future, yous guys.

 +8Posted on Nov 6th, 2009 | re: What Is Wrong With Ron Artest? (31 comments)

as a celtics fan, i thought stop loving him when he joined the lakers.
as a women fan, i thought i’d stop loving him after this video.

as a fan of crazy people, i.just.can’t.help.it.

 +13Posted on Nov 4th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 11 (323 comments)

on that note… raging bull?

 +17Posted on Nov 4th, 2009 | re: Best New Party Game 11 (323 comments)

Cudfellas

 +3Posted on Nov 2nd, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Funny Games (144 comments)

a scottish pedophile… the worst kind of pedophile that there is.

 +8Posted on Nov 2nd, 2009 | re: What We Talk About When We Talk About Jeff Dunham (202 comments)

you elitists don’t get it: THEY’RE PUPPETS!!! duh!

he’s only horribly prejudiced against puppets from different backgrounds.

 +2Posted on Oct 29th, 2009 | re: Providing A Non-Hate Crimey Alternative To Jeff Dunham (38 comments)

never thought about it until now, but jeff dunham does equal gob.

good observation, professor of racialism and puppet studies.

 -5Posted on Oct 28th, 2009 | re: Martha Stewart Does Not Watch Mad Men (43 comments)

that’s a very interesting point that i didn’t read because BIG DISTRACTING BOOBS.

how are there even any comments in this thread?

 0Posted on Oct 27th, 2009 | re: David Spade's Publicist Makes No Apologies For Disgraceful Farley Ad (57 comments)

he was also probably against the kind of idolatry that causes people to flip out over a videogame.
of course he wouldn’t have signed off on it if he were alive. i mean, i guess. people change. but it’s not sacrilege; he was a famous dude who wrote some good songs (and was really good at covering great songs), so i’m going to save my indignation for stuff that matters.

 +6Posted on Oct 27th, 2009 | re: David Spade's Publicist Makes No Apologies For Disgraceful Farley Ad (57 comments)

Well, I’ve had 12 years or so to process this loss… so, yeah… commercials suck for the living and the dead, but I think I’m over it.
It’s like when people were freaking out over the Nirvana guy being in that video game. So? It’s 15 years, and so far as I know he’s not REALLY in the videogame.
In the 80s were people freaking when they put Jimi’s face on a t-shirt? Was that a thing that really bothered people? In the old days?
All this tells me is maybe I shouldn’t proceed with my line of Soupy Sales tie-dyes.

 0Posted on Oct 27th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Gone In 60 Seconds (112 comments)

It’s an awesome, awesome movie. I love it. The material was obviously very dear to the great Paddy Chayefsky. But it is defined by its thwarted ambition. Chayefsky adapts his book — his book that tackles THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE — into a script. And he happens to be one of the greatest screenwriters who ever lived. Sounds good!

Oh, but he took his name off the movie. Hated it! And what we’re left with is a lot of fast-talking, man ass, and William Hurt’s ridiculous performance.
Personally, I adore it for how ridiculous it is. But it’s not a good movie; it’s not a Bad-On-Purpose movie. It’s a Whoops-We-Made-a-Very-Silly-Movie-About-The-Essence-of-Man movie.

 +17Posted on Oct 26th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Gone In 60 Seconds (112 comments)

Gabe: Shucks, time to watch “Honey”…

GAME FACE!

(aww, my first gif. i should get a life.)

 +23Posted on Oct 26th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Gone In 60 Seconds (112 comments)

gabe didn’t mention the silly shaky hand thing because that’s how he prepares to watch these movies.

 +2Posted on Oct 26th, 2009 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Gone In 60 Seconds (112 comments)

Nicolas Cage’s face is the William Hurt’s shouting of acting.

Can we get Altered States up in this bitch?
I mean, I love that movie dearly, but it’s good fodder for this. And maybe the definition of OOPS I GOT AHEAD OF MYSELF THERE.

 +4Posted on Oct 16th, 2009 | re: Thursday Night TV Open Thread (70 comments)

NBC had a weak night, I think. Still some good laughs (pre-op centaurian, mukduk, “I may be a genius, but I’m not a lesbian”), but not what I expect on the night of the TRIUMPHANT RETURN of the best show on television.

The Charlie Show, however, was finer than the finest raw jellybeans. Why do they even bother with non-Charlie plots?