my name is andrew, and my old roommate stole my copy of civil war land.
but it couldn’t have been you because i only go to matinees (going alone seems less sad then) and he spells his name with a ‘d.’ and a couple other different letters, now that i think of it.

honestly, my first reaction to this video was that i’d love to see daniel day-lewis play this guy.

from director jim sheridan comes youtube: the movie. starring daniel day-lewis as youtube.

I feel like it’s my duty as an Italian-American to say, I didn’t read none of that, ya fruit.

if i had a nickel for every time somebody told me, “i love you too, but i’m not a sex offender.”

there’s not enough xanax in the world to get me past philly, but i’ll be there in spirit.

while there is an awkward pause i am in it; while there is a failed attempt at an inside joke i am of it; while there is a kitten in a box i am not free.

i saw closer in a movie theater in a small southern town. everybody else in the theater was over 60 years old.

i don’t remember much about the movie aside from it makes natalie portman stripping somehow boring. but what sticks with me most is that i got to hear dignified, old southern people gasp at the word “cum.”

movie ticket, $6.50 (seriously, SMALL southern town).
popcorn $0, gross.
your grandma’s face when clive owen is e-cumming all over jude law, priceless.

i didn’t see it.

did the giraffes get saved?

when trudy let her hair down i was all like WHAAAA!!?!?!
pete, we all love foreign nannies and dowdy working girls, but you got a great thing going with trudy. she’s secretly hot (the best kind of hot) and she’s on two of the best shows on tv – that’s a classy lady right there. if i were you, i’d keep my charleston in my pants when she’s not around.
signed,
arthur great, trudy campbell fan club vice-treasurer