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a pretty good kisser
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This movie should be called The Hobbit: Bilbo Baggins Invetigates
“I’m not as president as you drunk I am” – rick perry’s shirt probably.
Also, I realize gay people gross some people out (grow up dumb people), but you know what grosses me out? The “breasts” Guy Fieri is so keen to gaze at are almost always 60-year old diner grandma’s! Not that grandma’s aren’t great, I love grandma’s but I do not love grandma breasts…no offense everyone’s grandma.
Gabe, are you sure my boyfriend isn’t the lead singer of Smash Mouth?
“Survived” is German for “cheated on and humiliated” so actually it’s not ironic.
Pirates of the Caribbean 5: …C’mon!
Pirates of the Caribbean 5: They’ve Made A Huge Mistake
There’s always jokes in the banana stand…
Lemonade Stand by Me




















Remember when you were King Kong…now act just like that but…smaller.