Would you be up to the challenge of suggesting to your child that he find Tom Brady and give ‘em a punch?

Jerry Sandusky, what are you doing on the internet?

Since always? Really long reviews of garbage shows (and good shows) have always been a staple here. I think I started reading v-gum because of the Lost reviews.

Kelly: I have an important update for you in the war on horrible bugs. Last night St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Matt Holliday had to be removed from a game when, while he was just standing around in the outfield, a moth fucking flew into his ear and lodged itself in his ear canal. It was removed later by trainers with a pair of tweezers, no word on if it laid eggs in his brain.

Maybe Nicholas Sparks, author of “the Notebook” and “Nights in Rodanthe”, has a really dry sense of humor and he was taking the piss out of himself by calling the work of one of America’s greatest authors “pulpy, overwrought and melodromatic”.

Or maybe Nicholas Sparks can go get fucked.

Sportsgum: Jay Cutler was lucky by the end of last season that all his limbs were still physically attached to the rest of his body, given the beating he took. His biggest sin appears to be have a terminal case of “shit face” all the time.

Except the part about almost fainting because she drank her orange juice too fast. That is a thing that happens? Or is that code for “I had a horrible hangover”?

Was there an actual cash prize for winning the softball league? If not, then I think your friend is missing the point. Instead of losing a softball championship, he gain an awesome story about being crushed by Yankees prospects pretending to be firemen. That is a great story. Whining to the commisioner of a softball league is just silly.