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antisocialite
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 0Posted on Aug 8th, 2011 | re: Entourage S08E02: Turtle's Outfits As Metaphor For The End Of Culture (26 comments)

Misanthropic because I’m pretty sure the purpose of this show to to make everyone just hate the fuck out of all of humanity.

 +12Posted on Aug 8th, 2011 | re: The 2011 Teen Choice Awards (47 comments)

I normally don’t consider 30s-40s to be old, but whenever I see a picture of anyone over like 25 at the Teen Choice Awards I laugh at them and imagine them getting ready for it in a depressed yet detached manner. Looking at their clothing thinking “Is this what kids half my age want to see me wear? I can’t fucking believe this is my life.” and then getting drunk because that’s the only way to get through it.

Poll: Which do you think feels weirder for them?:
Winning and having to thank all these little children while holding a surfboard they’ll never use or find a place for in their house.
or
Not winning. Going to the fucking Teen Choice Awards and not even winning. Sitting there clapping politely thinking “God why am I even here?” not knowing whether the slap of the snub or the relief of not having to get up and talk and see more pictures of yourself at this absurd place.

Vote now!

 +14Posted on Jul 29th, 2011 | re: This Is Just A Four Minute Long Absurdist Short Film About Old Spice (14 comments)

Isaiah Mustafa could poke around my crawl space.

That reminds me of when a guy I knew said he showed his girlfriend Audition after leading her to believe it was a romantic drama. Sort of a little funny even though it’s also horrible.

When I read “multi-talented” I thought to the author of this article “Aw, I’m not sure you know what either of those words mean.”

 +1Posted on Jul 29th, 2011 | re: The Videogum Movie Club Emergency Meeting (46 comments)

Cowboys and Aliens looks crazy and stupid, and I love that. Clear winner.

 +1Posted on Jul 29th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (17 comments)

No more Summer’s Eve handgina ads? :( . But I found them so relatable!

By the way, does anyone know if Summer’s Eve makes tampons?

 0Posted on Jul 28th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (9 comments)

After my eyes were finally able to wrench themselves away from Courtney Stodden’s soul-hungry grimace in the Farrah wannabe picture I noticed that her elbow points the wrong way. You guys, I’m definitely not trying to be a bully because bullies are bad and Courtney Stodden doesn’t like them and I’m afraid of her, but I’m just going to say it: I am pretty much 100% sure she is not a human being. I think she started of as one of those things from Species but got into a The Fly machine with a leather purse and some kind of HP Lovecraft creature.

 +3Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: The Friday Morning Matchy-Matchy Twinsies "Hey Ya!" Dance (45 comments)

Happy Birthday!

 0Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: Someone Get Some Salsa Music Behind This Dancing Porcupine! (29 comments)

Just Dance came on the radio while I was watching this, and it worked pretty nicely.

 +2Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Courtney Stodden (97 comments)

Jokes on him because even though she’s only 16 you know her liver’s shot.

 0Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: India Reminds Us That Pizza Hut Is The World's Nicest Restaurant (44 comments)

I mean that they gave to kids. I saw a Good Guy doll from the original Child’s Play in a Planet Hollywood when I was a kid, so *that*’s probably the coolest toy I’ve ever seen at a restaurant.

 0Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: India Reminds Us That Pizza Hut Is The World's Nicest Restaurant (44 comments)

Hell yes! Those Land Before Time hand puppets remain the coolest toy I’ve ever seen at a restaurant.

 0Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: India Reminds Us That Pizza Hut Is The World's Nicest Restaurant (44 comments)

I used to ask to go to Taco Bell on my birthday too! I was allowed fast food at other times, and I could pick any resturant I wanted for my birthday, I was just that serious about those tacos as a kid. Actually, I am still pretty serious about tacos because they’re great.

“George Clooney is leaving his co-stars rather red-faced and wet of trouser in his latest comedy wheeze.” is the most unpleasantly-phrased thing I’ve read in awhile.

I wanted to upvote this but the little thumbs are hiding, so this comment counts as one upvote for you.

 0Posted on Jul 22nd, 2011 | re: This Duckling Is Not Very Good At Ukulele But At Least He's Trying (22 comments)

I love ducklings and I love ukeleles, so this is a pretty great thing for me to be watching.

I see what you did there!

 0Posted on Jul 21st, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (21 comments)

I’d watch that.

 +2Posted on Jul 20th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (21 comments)

I bet your Daniel Plainview impression brings all the boys to the yard, Kelly!

 +6Posted on Jul 20th, 2011 | re: Dancing Squid Is Horrifying Please Don't Eat It (50 comments)

I am unashamedly bigoted against cephalopods but even I find this unspeakably horrifying and sad.

On a lighter note, the Plenty Of Fish ad under the reply box kind of made me laugh a little bit.

 +1Posted on Jul 19th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (31 comments)

I don’t know if I’d say atheists need to fight for equal rights, but there are still a lot of people who will react to “I’m an atheist” as if you said “I rape baby bunnies to death”. I’ve had hateful, hurtful, ignorant things said to me by people who liked me just fine before they knew.

 0Posted on Jul 19th, 2011 | re: Here Are Some Afternoon Links! (31 comments)

The Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis musical

 +6Posted on Jul 19th, 2011 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Love And Other Drugs (92 comments)

Look at you with the formatting! Fancy.

 +5Posted on Jul 18th, 2011 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Superman And Lois Lane Have Not Broken Up (28 comments)

Not to make light of what I’m sure is a painful situation for two real life humans, but I’m a little bit glad that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are divorcing because I think that should lessen the amount of pictures of Marc Anthony in magazines that I might look at while getting my hair cut or waiting at doctor’s offices. He’s ghoulish-looking and he scares me. Whenever I saw those pictures I wanted to yell at J.Lo* to run away.

*I can’t do a nickname with my name this way or it would be P.War and that’s gross :( If my bf and I get married and I change it it would be P.Ham, still gross :(