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 +20Posted on Oct 18th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Nothing But Trouble (201 comments)

Yeah, I am bleeding internally because I Hearted the living SHIT out of this movie when I was like, 10. The DigiUnderground cameo made me xxxxtra lose my SHIT, and hopefully now I am Opposite-10-yr-old-Me. I see that’s it’s playing on cable from time to time, and I’m like, “No. Not today. Hearting “The Sandlot”, one thing. This fuckin’ movie, another.”

 +15Posted on Oct 18th, 2010 | re: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Nothing But Trouble (201 comments)

I draw penises in red ink instead of marking x’s when I grade. Trying REAL HARD to get fired, but the students just find it amusing.

 +4Posted on Feb 25th, 2010 | re: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Kevin Smith Needs To Shut Up (102 comments)

This begs for a “Relax, technojeremy” (for the old-schoolers) but with techno-Kevin Smith instead, obviously (yes user “Noam Noam Noam” already did it below Great Job!BTW). And speaking of OBVY, I haven’t been around lately because I got this like, “real job” where I have to work 40 HOURS A WEEK and HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS DO THAT, CHRIST. It sucks. Also the new site layout is blowing my mind.

I accidentally brought up the videogum webpage site in front of my new boss yesterday when I was trying to demonstrate some shit on my laptop, so I can’t say anything anymore under “Angelaaaa”. Forced-change of avatar/username, I’m going back to “chipmunkfart”. SARS was so 2000′s, anyway.

 0Posted on Jan 22nd, 2010 | re: The Final Episode Of The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien Drinking Game (35 comments)

SIGH
*puts on robe*
*goes to the liquor store*
*see you guys in the chat room tonight, and @inglorious don’t be making up new rules like “drink each time @inglorious says to! You owe my liver an apology after the Golden Globes*

 +1Posted on Jan 17th, 2010 | re: 2010 Golden Globes Video Pizza Party (132 comments)

According to the Official Rules, we drink now because you thanked God and/or your spouse for something anything

 +1Posted on Jan 17th, 2010 | re: 2010 Golden Globes Video Pizza Party (132 comments)

Meryl may have been a little drunksies, but keyboard cat wouldn’t DARE

 0Posted on Jan 17th, 2010 | re: 2010 Golden Globes Video Pizza Party (132 comments)

Nuts in the sense that he swore he wasn’t going to spastically tweet the Golden Globes and he most definitely is, but I guess he was just moved to action.
Also, I forget where the VG chatroom is and is shit getting real over there? I know a lot of Monsters are live-blogging via Twitter…

 +13Posted on Jan 17th, 2010 | re: TONIGHT: 2010 Golden Globes (6 comments)

I’m RSVP’ing and it’s not like the time I RSVP’d to the VG Pizza Party and didn’t show and you guys ordered all that extra pizza for me and I never formally apologized but I’m just a girl, standing in front of a website, asking it to love her.

 +1Posted on Jan 14th, 2010 | re: You Can Make It Up: Conan O'Brien Drives A 1932 Duesenberg SJ Off A Cliff (32 comments)

I first read “Everything returns to silt” as “Everything returns to shit”.

 +6Posted on Jan 12th, 2010 | re: Show Your Support For Conan O'Brien (81 comments)

luvin’ your fax machine!

 +1Posted on Jan 7th, 2010 | re: An Interview With Self-Potato! (40 comments)

When referring to her students, I love that she said “at least they’ll know their teacher is human.” Waitaminute, WHERE is my snark and can Chandler Bing and I BE more boring? My kitty died peacefully in my arms last night. Misanthropy to resume shortly. For now, MLISP

 0Posted on Jan 5th, 2010 | re: Bear Grylls Gives Himself An Enema. The End. (44 comments)

I smell a Double Dog….

 +2Posted on Jan 3rd, 2010 | re: The Catchphrase Of The Decade (79 comments)

“after the jump”

 +2Posted on Dec 31st, 2009 | re: The Catchphrase Of The Decade (79 comments)

fuck yo couch

 +12Posted on Dec 29th, 2009 | re: The Best People Of 2009 (73 comments)

Thanks, both of you butternuts. Just got off da phone w/@GodSauce while he was grocery shopping and he stopped in the aisle to let my cry lol. MLIVG

 +30Posted on Dec 29th, 2009 | re: The Best People Of 2009 (73 comments)

Dude, psycho as this sounds, Werttrew should be on here for creating the Twitter Monster list. My cat is literally sitting on my lap, dying tonight or tomorrow from cancer, and I’ve had like 4235432 jillion condolence msgs on twitter or FB SOLELY FROM VG MONSTERS. I’ve talked to several of you on the phone (what? jk? (not kidding)) and I’ve never even met you guys IRL. FUCK MY FAMILY YOU GUYS ARE MY FAMILY (sorry, been drinking since I got the prognosis but you guys are like, there for me! And it’s weird! And cool!)

 +2Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 | re: The 13 Cutest Animals Of 2009 (54 comments)

You know how you get numb to your favorite pr0n after seeing it too many times? I try to keep my viewing of this pic to once a week, so STOP. (or don’t, tough times, they come a’knockin’, and it’s the HOLIDAYZ! I’ll allow it and I’ll also brb if you know what I mean)

 +4Posted on Dec 18th, 2009 | re: Kids Are Drunk And Heart-Breaking Thieves The Darndest Things (49 comments)

One can only hope… (or know. What I’m getting for xmas this year. HINT: IT’S A FUCKING LEOPARD-PRINT NECKY)

 +7Posted on Dec 17th, 2009 | re: Kids Are Drunk And Heart-Breaking Thieves The Darndest Things (49 comments)

My pug drank an entire cup of Bailey’s I accidentally left on the night stand last week (no lie.) I found her wandering the streets in my leopard-print Snuggie (MY PARENTS BOUGHT IT FOR ME BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE THINGS THAT I LIKE.)

Srsly, pug was trashed, had to get her an IV flush SO that was a $152 cup of Bailey’s. I wonder how much we can call the cost of that beer, considering the news crew, cops, his future embarrassment…

 +4Posted on Dec 16th, 2009 | re: That's Your Girlfriend: Routine Traffic Stop Lady (56 comments)

This was basically my reaction when I realized I couldn’t make the VG Pizza Party.

 +2Posted on Dec 2nd, 2009 | re: You Guys, Let's Have A Videogum Video Pizza Party For Real! (349 comments)

I said I would go to the NY, but their RSVP list looks so far like a bunch of IRL comedians who know each other, and I see myself standing there, not knowing what to do with my hands. No amount of xanax in this world would help me figure out what to do with my hands.

Can you guys start RSVP’ing to the Austin event http://www.facebook.com/event.php?invites&eid=189025778167 Cause as of now, it’s just gonna be an awkward date between @jimjbollocks and me.

I am everyone’s girlfriend.

 +3Posted on Dec 1st, 2009 | re: You Guys, Let's Have A Videogum Video Pizza Party For Real! (349 comments)

OK. I’m supposed to give a final exam that day, but I’m a horrible teacher AND I DO WHAT I WANT. I have a few friends in NY anyway, so prepare to see some Angelaaaa up in your monstrous FACES! I’ma go. Btw, I’m still working on my male VG wall of tits. You twitter monsters know what I’m talking about, so GET TO WORK and DM me. I hope to have this completed for a formal presentation at the pizza party.

You’ll know it’s me cause of the mask I’ll be wearing #H2N2, TX strain

 +1Posted on Nov 20th, 2009 | re: Goodnight, Oprah, And Good Luck (25 comments)

She’s just looking for attention.

 +14Posted on Nov 16th, 2009 | re: That's Your Boyfriend: All Your Boyfriends, Part Two (31 comments)

Getting out my vibrator, bb in about 2 hours.