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alyx
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 +1Posted on Oct 3rd, 2012 | re: Jerry Seinfeld's Letter To The Editor Of The New York Times (10 comments)

I searched that! It was skillfully done, so I don’t think she’d mind. Plus, those penises were ejaculating (into her mouth, very efficiently) so it’s not as though the penises were just waving about, mocking her, you know. Frankly, if someone did that to me I’d be flattered. Good on you, disturbed yet creative perverts.

 +1Posted on Sep 28th, 2012 | re: Vince Gilligan On The Colbert Report (6 comments)

Big fan of the crazy person who decided to type a frickin essay-comment on that first video. (Essay-comment: it’s how homeboys chat)

 +9Posted on Sep 19th, 2012 | re: Guess What The Alice In Wonderland Reboot Is Called (49 comments)

Close.

 +4Posted on Sep 18th, 2012 | re: Mr. Wizard Is Still A Dick (11 comments)

Is it bad that I’m 30 and this is the first time I’ve ever seen Mr. Wizard? I’m 22, by the way.

 +5Posted on Sep 13th, 2012 | re: James Cameron Debunks "Jack Could've Fit On Raft" Meme (16 comments)

That James Cameron is so great and smart. I’m pretty sure he singly-handedly invented the elephant or something. Just such a great talent for inventing extremely useful things like elephants.

:(
I knowwww

No bullshit.

 +11Posted on Sep 11th, 2012 | re: The Perfect Crime: This Terrible Lettuce Prank (12 comments)

He must have had a driver with a getaway car waiting for him, like bank robbers, I bet. If it was me, and I realized what he’d just done, I would have left him there as soon as he bumbled out of the store. Well, whoever was behind the wheel of that dude’s getaway car must be totally oblivious to jerks.

 +30Posted on Sep 11th, 2012 | re: Reader Poll: Do You Agree With Nick Cassavetes About Incest? N/N? (68 comments)

I think incest is okay for Jaime and Cersei, but definitely NOT okay for Dexter and Debra. And that is irrefutable, indisputable, undeniable.

Well, I’m inspired. Every time I meet a kid with cancer I’m going to shrug and say, “That’s how I feel!” and pat the kid on the head, and then rush to the nearest restroom to wash my hands of the sickly peasant. Then I’ll go buy some diamonds and just…lay around for a while, stroking my diamonds, thinking about how terrible it was for me having to talk to some gross cancer baby.

 +4Posted on Sep 11th, 2012 | re: Air Eating Trend Is Not Nearly As Popular As It Should Be (16 comments)

Oh, news people and the way they talk to us like we’re all idiots. “Take a SIP…of a STEAK!”

“You have to TASTE IT…to BELIEVE IT AAAAAH WE HATE YOU STUPID JERKS WHO WATCH OUR VERY INFORMATIVE NEWS SHOW.”

“Inhale it…THROUGH A STRAW! You anorexic FUCKERS.”

 +2Posted on Sep 10th, 2012 | re: Looking Good, Jonah Hill! (27 comments)

oh, thank goodness gracious me.

 +7Posted on Sep 10th, 2012 | re: Looking Good, Jonah Hill! (27 comments)

ALMOST, Alyx. You almost typed a coherent thing. Nice try, stupid.

 +10Posted on Sep 10th, 2012 | re: Looking Good, Jonah Hill! (27 comments)

Is it bad that I immediately looked at his crotch upon clicking this? That Jon Hamm thing really ruined the way I look at pictures. What’s more, apart from his crotch area being visible in the picture is really the only link between those two situations. And it just gets muddled from there. I think I need therapy.

 +6Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments (38 comments)

YAAAAAAAAAAAA

Also I am Olivia Wilde now, because I finally acknowledged today how obsessed I am with her and because she is our generation’s Minka Kelly.

 +2Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: This Week In GIFs! (11 comments)

YES, this is better!

 +2Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: Conan O'Brien's Serious Jibber-Jabber With Edmund Morris (5 comments)

Yay! A GIGANTIC insignificant victory!

 +4Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: This Week In GIFs! (11 comments)

Here, use this:

 +9Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: This Week In GIFs! (11 comments)

 +2Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: Conan O'Brien's Serious Jibber-Jabber With Edmund Morris (5 comments)

It is entirely possible though that my comment inadvertently drove everyone away (except that one guy, hi guy!) because I am like a black hole on this site and now they are IN FACT ignoring this post, and that is entirely my fault. If that’s the case I apologize, vehemently. I am still watching though; Reagan was dull, Teddy Roosevelt was not, Conan’s hair is hypnotizing, learning lotsa stuff from Conan and that guy! At least you got through to at least ONE person, Kelly, which is a victory in itself. A tiny, insignificant victory.

 +1Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: Conan O'Brien's Serious Jibber-Jabber With Edmund Morris (5 comments)

(All of us are very intrigued and we’re watching it, Kelly, not ignoring your post, you know, we love you Kelly we love you)

(but like you said, millions of minutes, that’s a lot of minutes for a thing)

(someone will be with you shortly to write something clever in appreciation, stay tuned)

(this is just the way it has to be for something like this, we’re sure you understand)

(stay tuned!)

 +7Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: Do Not Watch: Transparent Mantis Eats Fly (30 comments)

Especially when it’s windy.

 +6Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: Do Not Watch: Transparent Mantis Eats Fly (30 comments)

I’m sorry. Whatever you do, don’t try playing the video while you look at the gif. The music adds this whole other sense of doom and general creepiness and despair and AAAAAH, but anyway, I’m sorry. I’m always sorry.

 +2Posted on Sep 7th, 2012 | re: Do Not Watch: Transparent Mantis Eats Fly (30 comments)

Yeah, Kelly, like ice cream.