Van Oben
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 +8Posted on Aug 6th, 2013 | re: A Guess At What Happened On Under The Dome Last Night (30 comments)

In season 2 there might be a dude who runs out of his thyroid medication and becomes really super sleepy.

 +21Posted on Jun 3rd, 2013 | re: Game Of Thrones Open Thread (No Offense, Mad Men) (93 comments)

So happy that I hadn’t seen anything to spoil the surprise of the Red Wedding and I’m so happy that I am enough of an idiot not to have seen it coming despite of all the clues. I actually even heard that something referred to as the Red Wedding would take place at the end of this season, but I STILL didn’t connect the dots until I saw the chainmail. You simply can’t spoil Game of Thrones for me! I am way too dumb! And how wonderful that is.

 +5Posted on Apr 24th, 2013 | re: Hollywood's Most Hated Celebrity Also The World's Most Beautiful Woman? (44 comments)

“Oh, wow, you’re Gwyneth Paltrow.” – Something Gwyneth also tells herself whenever she catches her own reflection in the mirror, in the rear view mirror, in a store-front window, or really just about any given moment of the day no matter the situation, sometimes even as she wakes up in the middle of the night.

I wanted Drake to destroy SOMETHING, but I guess he only does faces.

 +9Posted on Apr 23rd, 2013 | re: You Can Just Do Whatever You Want (65 comments)

Dave Days? What days are we talking about here?


Thank you for your time.

 +6Posted on Apr 23rd, 2013 | re: Here Are Some Morning Links! (33 comments)

Kelly, what exactly do you mean by “those people?” …Oh, those people. Ew.

 +10Posted on Apr 19th, 2013 | re: Don't Even Worry, Guys, The World Is Still Spinning (110 comments)

It’s easy to be this hardass orator when you don’t even have to magine that your audience is in their underwear.

 +18Posted on Apr 12th, 2013 | re: Terry Richardson Is Just America's Photographer Now, Ladies (29 comments)

Pretty sure Louis C.K. is doing this to get back at Videogum for dropping the Louis C.K. promise.

 +3Posted on Apr 10th, 2013 | re: Buckwild Producer Makes Strong Case For Canceling MTV (55 comments)

You can have Dirt Loder. #muddingjokes

 +34Posted on Apr 10th, 2013 | re: Buckwild Producer Makes Strong Case For Canceling MTV (55 comments)

Remember when the M in MTV used to mean something? I think it was mudding.

 +11Posted on Apr 10th, 2013 | re: Are You For Sure Excited About New Arrested Development Episodes? (82 comments)

Good points. I’d also like to say that it’s not as if we have some meaningful, emotional connection with the fates and lives of the characters in AD. There’s no epic story that will be messed up by a continuation. If it’s bad it will be because if bad jokes that fall flat and that probably won’t make us enjoy the great old stuff any less. Unless perhaps the worst case scenario occurs where they just make continous references and rehashes of the old jokes and that somehow waters out the originals. But I don’t know, I laughed every time Gob said “C’mon” and I probably would even if the show was just Gob saying “C’mon” a lot. There’s a good risk the show isn’t as funny, but I’ll take that chance. It might be half as funny as the original and that’ll make it twice as funny as anything on TV right now. I know, because I did the math and if you want I can show my work.

 +7Posted on Apr 9th, 2013 | re: What Else Is Kim Kardashian Lying About?!?! (17 comments)

When she said, “I’m not lying,” she was actually lying.

 0Posted on Apr 4th, 2013 | re: Christopher Abbott Leaves Girls, But What About Marnie?! (14 comments)

He’s working on numerous other projects, all of which are under the working title Boys.

 +5Posted on Mar 1st, 2013 | re: Whoops! Go Back To Bed, Everybody! (37 comments)

I think it’s like a cowhide. He probably just went to get a bigger cowhide.

My parent’s relationship.

 +3Posted on Feb 25th, 2013 | re: Is There Life After The Oscars? (SPOILER ALERT: Only Kind Of) (14 comments)

At least the person in that video didn’t sing All That Jazz.

I love that there’s at least one show that’s great that I don’t have to worry about getting cancelled. 18 seasons of Game of Thrones!

 +4Posted on Feb 21st, 2013 | re: "Harlem Shake" Meme Is The #1 Song In The Country (18 comments)

I don’t thrust this Billboard algorithm.

 +17Posted on Feb 4th, 2013 | re: Smooth Move, Entire Rack Of Ex-Lax (88 comments)

Excuse me, where do you keep your Kacca? Oh, aisle 1? The KACCA aisle. Okay, thanks.

 +14Posted on Jan 11th, 2013 | re: Old Men Sing "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" At A Tim Horton's (11 comments)

The internet is shutting down because it doesn’t want me to post, “I’ll have what they’re having.”

 +11Posted on Jan 8th, 2013 | re: What Would Ryan Lochte Do, Though? (26 comments)

I hope you are reading this, producers. This is your future Emmy speaking.

 +6Posted on Jan 8th, 2013 | re: What Would Ryan Lochte Do, Though? (26 comments)

At some point he could adopt a pet monkey for a couple of days. I don’t think that’s ever been done in a reality show before.

 +3Posted on Jan 8th, 2013 | re: Wake Up With A New Trampoline Accident! (17 comments)

If you show a gnarly looking fence featured in your trampoline accident video, you better have someone fall headfirst into it or you shouldn’t put it there in the first place. This was the biggest letdown since the faulty stove *SPOILER ALERT* didn’t burn down Downton Abbey.

 +3Posted on Jan 3rd, 2013 | re: Puking Robot Is My Favorite Robot (35 comments)

“Let’s put our baby in front of it.”