So Katie Holmes is relevant again? Oh boy.

Even with eyes made of guacamole, Facetaco could see this was the end of the life he enjoyed so much. “Wow, three types of cheese!” said the little girl in awe as Keanu offered part of his lunch to her. “That is swanky!”
“It’s all yours,” said Keanu, “if I can have some of your Go-Gurt…”

Yikes! Actually it wouldn’t be TOO terrible if that necklace did get lost at the bottom of the ocean…

“Jack, can you draw me wearing this? Wearing ONLY this?”

Also, I figured out a quick and easy solution to stop people from getting eaten/licked by the toilet monster.

You’re welcome!

To be fair, it’s not the toilet that’s evil, it’s the poop-covered girl that lives INSIDE the toilet! Just wanted to be clear.

I agree. While she said a bunch of stupid stuff, we have to realize she is just a child. People who are able to order Craiglists hookers to her home address are TOO OLD to be bullying.

Umbrella holding is a coveted position facetaco! This umbrella holder went to Harvard!

Jennifer Aniston’s umbrella holder! That person must cry everyday… tears of joy, of course!

What’s to be mad about? The trailer did say it was “a new NIGHTMARE from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan.” Even the trailer isn’t trying to lie about how bad this is going to be.

Daria is great. With all those episodes of The Hills that have melted our eyeballs, I think MTV owes us new Daria episodes for compensation.