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 +4Posted on Feb 3rd | re: Hey Guys, We Have To Talk To You About Something (353 comments)

https://twitter.com/jordaneasland

this might motivate me to clean my twitter house and get back in the game to some degree (UGH tho)

 +19Posted on Feb 3rd | re: Hey Guys, We Have To Talk To You About Something (353 comments)

well, when god closes a videogum, he opens a wahhhh whyyyyyyyiiiieeee waahyyyyyyy

i’m seriously going to have a devastatingly large hole in my internet world after this

 +4Posted on Feb 3rd | re: This Lawyer's Ad Was The Best Super Bowl Ad (15 comments)

wait was that an ad for a lawyer, or a trailer for some kind of boondock saints 3?

 +12Posted on Jan 29th | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (79 comments)

wisconsin kids represeeennnt

Also, I have a family story that is tangentially related– My grandmother and her sisters had borrowed their parents’ car to go out for a night of drinking, as they often did. A snow storm kicked up while they were out, and on their way home, the car got stuck in a thick patch of snow that had collected on the road. The girls were able to get the car most of the way unstuck, but not QUITE clear. Searching for something to give the car enough traction, they used the only thing they could find: the ashes of their recently deceased uncle, which were still in an urn in the car’s trunk.

and that’s how i was taught to carry a bag of kitty litter in the trunk during the winter!

 +14Posted on Jan 23rd | re: Best New Party Game: Sick Movies! (67 comments)

the pukes of hazard

 +1Posted on Jan 23rd | re: Updating Tyra Banks's Life-Size Sequel For 2014! (23 comments)

being that it was a made-for-TV movie, they had to settle for morally ambiguous golemancy instead

 +3Posted on Jan 22nd | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (94 comments)

did you hear about pluto? that’s messed up, right?

#stopcreating

 +7Posted on Jan 13th | re: Best New Party Game: Golden Globes Movies (21 comments)

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Sauce at Taco Bell Afterwards

 +6Posted on Jan 10th | re: A Glimpse Into Life Post-Dog Uprising (16 comments)

my parents have a cat and corgi duo that pulls something like this. if nobody is around, the cat will sometimes jump up on the counter and toss food scraps from the compost tin down to his stubby lil buddy. he also once knocked a nest of baby robins out of a tree so that he and the corgi could nosh them down together (wahhhh… but also kind of morbidly cute).

i like that cat, so i’m glad that when our dog overlords come to power they will probably spare him for his usefulness.

 +4Posted on Jan 10th | re: The 2014 People's Choice Awards (33 comments)

james gandolfini was robbed

 0Posted on Jan 10th | re: How Was Everyone's Day Today? (125 comments)

i’m pretty sure La Toya Jackson on The Apprentice was a more legit accountant than that

 +1Posted on Jan 8th | re: The Petting Zoo: The Week's Top 10 Animal Videos (20 comments)

baby ocelot you are the best, but your zoo needs to learn how to choose music that isn’t oddly tense!

 +1Posted on Jan 7th | re: Awwww, Poor Michael Bay? (25 comments)

 +2Posted on Dec 30th, 2013 | re: Crushes Of 2013 (40 comments)

i guess what i’m trying to say is elizabeth olsen i love you, love is forever fan love you

 +2Posted on Dec 30th, 2013 | re: Crushes Of 2013 (40 comments)

i’m quite pleased, but also… i don’t know why elizabeth olsen hasn’t been a shoe-in two years running :(

 +1Posted on Dec 28th, 2013 | re: Favorite Animal Videos Of 2013 (11 comments)

i feel like Mr Guinea Pig Watches The Rain could be the title of a perfectly viable Charlie Kaufman project

 +2Posted on Dec 28th, 2013 | re: The Gummy Awards: Your Top 10 Viral Videos Of 2013 (10 comments)

worry about yourself!

 +7Posted on Nov 19th, 2013 | re: Best New Party Game: Updated It's A Wonderful Life (44 comments)

“I don’t have your money. It’s in Tom’s startup… and Fred’s startup.”

 +2Posted on Nov 7th, 2013 | re: The Perfect Crime: Wearing A Purse To School? (22 comments)

all that power has gone to his ass, which was only able to sate itself by swallowing his head

paying $100k to hang out with guy fieri for the day is like not having your cake and then diarrheaing it too

He Hate Me

 +4Posted on Oct 18th, 2013 | re: This Week In Comedy Open Thread (34 comments)

so, american horror story:

i just don’t know how these girls are going to get any of their important studies done when we’ve already got zombie boyfriend, unholy baby, immortal racist, swamp witch, and voodoo versus magic story lines on our plate. why even call it a school? why not a do-whatever-you-want-all-day-no-supervision-house? because that’s CLEARLY what it is

this season is already too far off the rails! and some of the best parts of season 2 + witches + new orleans left me with such high hopes. at least it’s pretty?

(p.s. we can talk about this show here because it’s basically a comedy, right? whatever kelly you don’t make the rules you’re not the boss of me)

 +1Posted on Sep 20th, 2013 | re: This Week in Movie Trailers, You Guys (18 comments)

i have to say, this movie appealed to me a little bit. like, if this selection of trailers was a sample platter from which i was to pick a movie to watch immediately, i would definitely give Zero Charisma a considering nod (but i’d ultimately pick Nebraska, no duh).

and the scene that sold me rings true because of my (few) personal Dungeons and Dragons experiences — basically the moment when the outsider reacts to a game scenario as a normal human being would.

okay, so, i have a group of friends, one of which i was living with at the time, who play DND regularly. because i am SOME type of nerd, and generally curious, it was basically foregone that i would join them for a “campaign”. i couldn’t be bothered to learn most of the rules, but otherwise dove right in (and plus, they were totally cool with me playing while drinking. i recommend it!).

but here’s the thing — the way i wanted to approach the world was fundamentally different from the way they all did. in any given scenario, i, as my character, would react as a REAL PERSON would. the rest of the group (“party”), however, would willingly slip into any sort of fantasy trope that appeared. there’s a camp of gnolls on our path ahead? why don’t we just detour around? NOPE, GOTTA SLAUGHTER ‘EM ALL. there are rumours of a rogue peddling a “magic stone” around town? he’s probably a con-man, fuck it. NOPE, WE GOTTA GO INVESTIGATE AND BUY THAT THING.

and really, that’s all fine. different people want to play in different ways. i was never told that i was “playing wrong”, but it was clear our styles weren’t jiving. (ps. we’re still all friends, i just haven’t played DND since)

so Kelly, like, if you want, we could go see it. oh no, don’t worry, we can definitely poke holes in the problematic cliches and the constant pandering, too. and anyway, you owe me for This Is Us.

 +4Posted on Sep 9th, 2013 | re: That's A Good Internet Police Cat (14 comments)

twist ending: WHO UPLOADED THE VIDEO??!