VH1 has acquired all 12 "cycles" or as we called them before Tyra, "seasons," of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette franchises, and is pulling a daily marathon stunt in June. From the press release:
VH1 will air the first seven seasons during the first week of June. Airing one season per day in a marathon format, VH1 will premiere the first edition of "The Bachelor" on Sunday, June 1 and conclude the week-long programming event with the seventh on Saturday, June 7.
VH1 Celebreality addicts will probably be disappointed by the relative lack of nudity and slap-fights, and I have some bad news for the kids: except for Trista and Ryan (shown, duh), all of the couples you'll see in the first week have since broken up. If you're going to pick a day to watch a full season, though, might I suggest Andrew Firestone on Tuesday, June 4. He was what we called a "douche" in 2003. It's satisfying to see that he's now giving Bachelor Cooking Tips on super-local TV.
MTV has a new show coming out this August called Exiled in which the aging failures of My Super Sweet 16 are sent to live in a house and find out what really happens when people stop being brats and start having to eat mud cakes. Here's the trailer, guys, and it looks great:
You have to give MTV credit where credit is due. My Super Sweet 16 is an insufferable offense to mankind, and an advertisement for eugenics, which I used to think was a horrible program but My Super Sweet 16 opened my eyes. In the words of my friend Scott, just because the Nazis did it, doesn't mean it can't be done right. But when MTV closes a door on your face, they open a window that leads to a Schadenfreude paradise. The only thing that would make this show better is if Bear Grylls taught you how to eat these brats to survive in the wilderness.
Perusing this gallery of preview clips (so far) from the new fall TV season, only two shows jumped out at me as watchable. One of them is a heartwarming family reality game show produced by Ashton Kutcher, and the other seems like a straight-up ripoff of Meet The Parents. What the hell is going on here?
I'm sure that I'm not alone in thoroughly disliking Spike from this season's Top Chef. From his inexplicable cockiness around far more talented chefs (Andrew, Dale, and of course, The Blaise), to his clearly pre-meditated decision to be "the hat guy," he's the worst. But last night he became The Worst. After winning the Quickfire Challenge with his steak salad that he claimed "would make people want to have sex after they eat this steak salad" he was given the advantage for the Elimination Challenge of having 10 extra minutes to shop, and whatever he chose would be off-limits to the other contestants. But instead of having confidence in his own ability, he picked things just to be a saboteur.
This man must be thrown under a bus. I know the public transportation system in Chicago is not the world's finest, but surely there must be a bus somewhere. Or the Ravenswood line. Look, I'm all for healthy competition and using your advantage to succeed, but I also believe in the warrior's code, and this unshaven clown is unfit to enter the ring. If Top Chef was Highlander, Spike would be standing there with his sword in the underground parking lot, and Christopher Lambert would be like "you know what, it turns out there can be two Highlanders, because no one wants to absorb your power."
I like Simon Cowell. He's so sassy! He's basically made a living out of leaving flaming bags of shit on people's doorsteps, but he doesn't run away from it, and when you stomp the flames out you discover that your penny loafer is covered in TRUTH. But it's not all ding-dong-ditch with him. He can play nice. Sometimes he doesn't even light the bag on fire! Like today, he's just endorsed David Cook from American Idol to win the competition this year (via Blender):
"I think he's done more to deserve it over the eleven weeks," Cowell says. "He's taken more risks, he's done things with certain songs that have been more interesting. If I'm gonna base it on who has done the best performances over the live shows, David Cook deserves to win."
Sure. I mean, I obviously have no idea. Here is the big deserving risk taker singing with Mariah Carey.
Hey, even if he doesn't win, he's going to make a great Plain White T's cover band.
While most shows in the Reality Mansion genre feature a trip to a rum-soaked tropical locale where flavored condoms grow on trees, the cast of College Hill: Atlanta was shipped off to London. And, true to their better-than-the-rest nature, they, for the most part, loved it.
If any other reality show cast were sent to London for their sexcursion, here is how it would have played out: three (white) people would have been two hungover to even get to the airport for their trip. The other four (three white, one black or Asian) would definitely be too hungover on the trip to make it out for any sight-seeing. And somehow someone would figure out how to build a Senor Frogs in Trafalgar Square.
Whoops, I totally forgot. In my Hillsrecap today I gave a prediction of what would happen to the cast members as they got older. LC is clearly on the downward path to becoming a bitter Margo Channing just as soon as she's old enough to be replaced by a newer model of animatronic girlbot. Heidi, meanwhile, is destined to take on the shuffling borderline-psychotic role of Baby Jane Hudson. It makes sense, too, since clearly Lauren and Heidi are two sides of the same Bette Davis.
But the whole reason I was even thinking about that was because in last night's episode Lauren was talking to Lo, and I couldn't help but think about what was going to happen to Lo as she aged, but then I forgot to include it in my post. SORRY. Here is Lo as she appeared last night:
On last night's Paradise Hotel 2, Ryan and Tidisha (aka The Drunk and The Black) were given the power to chose which of the other remaining couples would go home. SPOILER ALERT: this clip shows who they pick.
Haha. I nominate Krista for the Cathy Whittaker Award in the category of Most Oblivious Lady. Because I'm pretty sure she has no idea what's happening in this scene, while Mike and Ryan are facing the deep regrets of lovers scorned.
Krista: Yeah, it hurts and stuff, cuz like we thought we were all buddies, so totally. Mike: The wounds you've dealt me, Ryan, some of them may never heal. Krista: Because like you should be friends, you know? Friends should be nice. Mike: But you cannot take what we had away from me. It is mine. Your cruelty may break my heart, but it cannot break my memories of our love. Krista: The game n' stuff. You know? Like, for real.
Needless to say, there were some killer fights after the elimination ceremony. So good. I can't believe next week is the season finale. Let's KEEP IT GOING.
Founder/Editor-In-Chief
Scott Lapatine Senior Editors
Gabe Delahaye
Lindsay Robertson Executive Editor
Amrit Singh Technology & Operations
Jim Jazwiecki
Angela Williams
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery, patience, and taste.
The Challenge: To create a video blog, or vlog, using a set of ground rules established by Lindsay. The Result: Gabe leaves videogum.com and returns to LiveJournal, where he can be with people who have similar interests. Is there anything...
Even though Lindsay and Gabe are friends, they very rarely agree on anything. Every day, they have a fight about something. On Fridays, we publish one.
lindsay: enchanted is the best kiss gabe: ew gabe: your favorite kiss is when he kisses a dead woman gabe: that's what you think kissing is lindsay: The woman is supposed to not move at all, right? lindsay: I read...
My bagel phone rang. "What the fuck are you doing?" said the voice on the other line. "Oh, hey Sue Simmons," I replied. Then we made plans to hang out at the Cinnabon in the mall. "Where the fuck is...
