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Oh, here is a friendly reminder: both The Ricky Gervais Show and Funny or Die Presents are premiering tonight on HBO. Great news! Both of those shows look great. I could use some laughs. This winter is killing me. Enough, already, winter, I GET IT. You have made your point. Fun fact: the only thing more interesting than a small-talk conversation about the weather at a boring party with someone you don’t like is a BLOG POST ABOUT THE WEATHER. The only thing you’re probably wishing right now is that this was longer (is what he said).
After the jump, the Five Hottest Comments, as voted on by you, the Coldest Comment, the winner of the Videogum Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice. FORECAST: STRONG.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments
“They made my neck extra long so it would be easier to hang myself.” – Robert Pattinson Pillow
Posted by: Jew Tang Clan in response to The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Robert Pattinson Pillow
Score = 75
Coming soon from Sky Mall:
but be prepared to buy it an extra seat!
Posted by: Notsewfastin response to 24 Reasons Why Kevin Smith Needs To Shut Up Now
Score = 82
I signed in JUST to say I respect your acknowledgment and self-awareness of a blog like this that strives to be so much and bring so much entertainment but can sometimes result in a race to the bottom in terms of tastefulness for the sake of laffs. That’s what separates this place from many other pop-culture blogs or the true garbage pits of the internet such as 4chan.
That said, this post is fat, gay, and retarded.
Posted by: The Life Of The Mind in response toBest New Party Game 16
Score = 82
Seaside Heights police are on the lookout for a short dark-skinned man with an aggressive attitude and an affinity for tough talk which gets him into trouble. The sheriff’s office released this composite sketch:
Posted by: Notsewfast in response to Duh Aficionado Magazine: Ronnie From Jersey Shore Is A Jerk
Score = 114
[Ed. note: You guys, it is really the dog days of winter, but we are going to make it through. Together, like a FAMILY. Fun Fact: if you stuff your coat with funny comments, it adds an additional layer of insulation! Also, the fifth highest-rated comment is also this week's winner of the caption contest. Congratulations, Jew Tang Clan. You earned it!]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment
inglorious hamsters sucks and isn’t funny at all.
just sayin
Posted by: Johnny in response to Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
Score = -27
[Ed. note: it is becoming more and more clear that the inmates are now running the asylum, so to speak, or perhaps to put it in words you will all understand: the monsters are now running the cave. Because boy oh boy, from the outside of it, even I don't understand what is going on here. RIOT IN THE CAFETERIA!]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
J-Beeb and I would like to thank YOU, Gabe
for the third Justin Bieber post in two days!!!!
Posted by: werttrew in response to Videogum’s Teen Korner: Justin Bieber’s New Video Featuring Ludacris Will Make U Cry, Probs
[Ed. note: this seems as good of a time as any to let you know, werttrew, that I really enjoy and appreciate your constant enthusiasm! We should all be so lucky to find something in this world that we love as much as you love Justin.]
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THAT PILLOW just makes me THINK OF this comic a friend SENT ME one time. I’M GOING TO try to FIND THAT shit. It was WEIRD.
http://brasscockroach.com/h4ll0w33n2007/manga/Amigara-Full/Amigara.html
Here you go. THIS SHIT is basically LOVECRAFT IN Japan, but I CAN dig it. ALSO, CONGRATS everyone. I DON’T THINK I’ve ever told YOU I LOVE y’all BUT I DO!
Hmm…I was listening to “Lovecraft in Brooklyn” as I read this post. Coincidence-ish.
pour vous:
I DON’T know what YOU JUST fuckin won, but you KILLED IT AND JUST won the GOLD! CON-GRAT-U-fuckin-LATIONS!
I just read this comic and it was awesome. Thanks for sharing if you read this!
This week has been pretty rough for me, a friend passed away and I wasn’t accepted into the performing arts school I was hoping to study at, along with being robbed, it’s been rough. But from rants about Kevin Smith, to Bird’s panda gif, and to notsewfast’s increasingly hilarious comments, it really cheered me up. So thank you, Gabe, and thank you monsters!
I WOULD let you INTO my goddamned PERFORMING Arts SCHOOL! IT’LL BE okay!
Whoa, way to bum everyone out.
I kid. Come over here and give me a hug.
I think I speak for all of us when I say that this place just wouldn’t be the same without you, Skinny Tie. It ain’t Art School, but it ain’t bad.
Good news is, if you want to be an artist it shouldn’t matter what school you go to. Honestly, every artist I know just WORKS. Just work your butt off and stick to your guns, you’ll be fine.
(werttrew + notsewfast) > (pretty much all us other bastard monsters combined)
And I mean that in the most loving way possible.
For the record*, I think you’re all great!
*Because everyone was anxiously awaiting my comment on this important issue, obvs.
Dude, whoever is downvoting you is just scared of the truth. I agree with you wholesale. But you should probably throw bird into that inequality whilst you’re at it.
aww. aw.it’s the pandas, really.
I agree! Supes great. But really, all of y’all are great in your own ways. How great is Videogum?? SO GREAT, YOU GUYS.
The past couple weeks I’ve actually had to work at work, which, as you know, blows. I finally get to catch up this week and…someone stole my identity?
But then no, they had the avatar first? So I stole from them (whoopsies!). Sorry sweetbeejesus, but I’m sort of attached to my avatar now. Are we cool? We don’t have to take this to Monster Court do we?
Dat hell? Shenanigans! My comment in the “Operation Kevin Smith Drop” post has a -28 rating and should have been named “This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment”.
Thanks for the Ricky Gervais/Funny or Die reminder! I can’t wait for some Karl wisdom and Drunk History.
I LOVE the gifs, they brighten my day. Thanks funny people!
“Seaside Heights police are on the lookout for a short dark-skinned man with an aggressive attitude and an affinity for tough talk which gets him into trouble. The sheriff’s office released this composite sketch:
” sucks and isn’t funny at all.
just sayin
My Twilight Pillow comment ALOST WOOOOOOON!!!!!! Man….. I feel so honored to almost be honored.
Also, I said “ALOST” instead of “ALMOST” because I 1) love LOST and 2) am impatient and mildly dyslexic.
This week was weird, you guys. Lots of downvotes! What in the what? I would recommend that we all calibrate our sarcasm detectors over the weekend, so that next week can be a positive week of encouragement and love.
Okay, who is downvoting encouragement and love?
I’m sorry! That was supposed to be an upvote! Damn laptop pad, I’ll tell YOU what I want to upvote.
Consider your comment plus one’d.
Sometimes I forget it’s Friday until I see Monsters’ Ball greet me when I open up the internet…
Can we trade lives?
If I was not in an Oslo nightclub right now (you monsters read Stereogum too sometimes, right?) I would be in my regular Fri night routine of manually deleting this spammer.
Rest assured, Gabe and I have new anti-spam preventative measures almost ready.
Did I mention it is 2:52AM in Norway and I am checking Monsters’ Ball on a dying iPhone?
xoxo
“new anti-spam preventative measures” = intern Lauren’s new mandatory weekend 64-hour spam watch.
I second Gabe’s comment!
Of course some of us read Stereogum! The best! It’s how I even know about Videogum. But let’s be honest, Scott. The un-registered monsters over at Sgum are just pathetic stumbling newbies in comparison with the art form the Videogum monsters have raised comment threads to. Right, monsters? I mean, a PANDAS ON A SLIDE GIF??? Go home, ya burnt.
did scott just drunk sext us from norway? A W E S O M E !
So much for the The Ricky Gervais Show plug. This thing is a boring cartoon hunk of shit. Funny Or Die better push the envelope because they’re not airing it until midnight.
Obligatory animal gif….
Just watched FOD. Some decent moments, a few great ones, but woof. If there’s another trick they could have used to pad the runtime, I haven’t seen it and it probably doesn’t exist.
Also, OMG GRAPHIC SEVERED PENIS!!!
In my life Fridays are on MonstersBallDay, not the other way around. Great stuff, gang!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO U-S-A! U-S-A!
Ahem, sorry. Just got back from the tedious nightmare (both figurative and literal) that was Shutter Island, and now I see that I made Monster’s Ball for the first time despite having posted very sporadically of late! I’d like to dedicate this 3rd place to all the people who really make this site and community great, and I hope to remain a more frequent poster rather than lurker.
luv u guyz
Also, I just noticed that it says my post was on “Best New Party Game 16″ when it was definitely on the Reset Button post.
Weird.
Awe, I thought Shutter Island was pretty good.
The WWII stuff was mesmerizingly tragic (never have I seen so much consistently airborne paper frame a man in a close-up!), the dream sequences were rife with layers of symbolism actually relevant to the plot while not being too obnoxious/pretentious, or unwieldy but rather subtle in its handing over of narrative pieces for the audience to interpret and decipher, and I thought the slightly dated green-screening during some of the “roleplayed” scenes, particularly at the beginning, were very creative from the narrative standpoint.
My only gripes would be the fact that over the past decade or so, Hollywood has produced and capitalized films using the “Unreliable Narrator” twist (The Usual Suspects, Fight Club, Sixth Sense, Secret Window, Memento, Big Fish, etc); The Rashomon Effect. In doing so it has definitely made it easier for audiences to clue in and unjustly pick apart films, imo. Not every film can be Sherlock Holmes (every film can be Sherlock Holmes).
I am sorry to hear you didn’t enjoy the film. As soon as the credits rolled this teenage girl sitting in front of my friends and I stood up and looked to her teenage girl friend and said, “Wait- so what? What was that? Is he crazy? I don’t get it. Worst. Movie. Ever. (at this point I thought she might have been Gabe in disguise, but it wasn’t) Wait- So was he crazy?” Anyway, it really punctuated the experience for me. Even when Scorsese doesn’t make the best film ever, he still makes a damn fine, fully-watchable film.
I’M confused. HOW DOES being confused by A FILM=damn fine, fully -watchable AND NOT needlessly obtuse?
Because I read THAT BOOK AND there’s no way THIS SHIT should be a convoluted, CONFUSING mess.
I should clarify. The nightmare comments was mostly in response to the fact that the majority of it was nightmare vision for the eyes. I definitely didn’t hate it, and I was certainly entertained, but I definitely had the same gripe with the unreliable narrator aspect, which I kinda suspected coming in and wasn’t that surprised when it did happen. I also think it tried to capture a lot of what David Lynch’s Lost Highway captured only Lynch did it better because he’s positively nuts.
That said, it was still a well-acted, well-shot film that for the most part flowed together well (though still a bit tedious at points). I feel like a nerd though because throughout pretty much the entire thing I thought about how it would make for a good video game. D:
I gotcha! Thanks for clearing that up!
Shutter Island falls several magnitudes short of Lost Highway. Also, the themes of these two movies aren’t really related at all. Bill Pullman’s character isn’t going crazy, he’s grappling with his impotence in a symbolic bizzarro fantasy. There’s a similar thing going on in Mulholland Drive and Blue Velvet.
http://www.thepervertsguide.com/trailers_pguidept2.html
Shutter Island wasn’t that bad, but in the first 15 minutes I was hoping it wasn’t going to end the way it did. and that flying paper was silly.
This week I posted my highest-voted post ever and, I won’t lie, I kinda dreamed about going for the gold. However, I’m very proud to have been beat (mercilessly) by such hilarious posts. You all deserve it in spades
cheap eats! get it all at http://www.dingleberry.com ! i like you for soul style and strings! get your happiness on with crispy chicken joy or juicy yumburger. you not be disappoint!
Every time I think Monster’s Ball, I excitedly think of heavy metal videos, and yet I’m never disappointed by mere commentary on a week’s worth of comments. Kudos to you all. Make that Snickers Kudos.
That panda gif just gave me diabeetus, and I am LOVING IT.
I saw Gabe IRL a couple hours after he posted this but was too nervous to say hi!!! He’s really good-looking, ladies, no homo!
You’re only young once and only in New York.
That Panda gif was my savior this week. Every stressful thing going on at work was immediately followed by a compulsive viewing of that gif. It saved my life…*
*not really
Am I the only one who thought the Kevin Smith pillow was James Mercer of the Shins pillow? No? Just me then. Caaarry on.
At this point, I assume these ads are ironic attempts at humor [whoops! Where did my soul went?]