kevin_smith_airplane.jpg

Look, I can see both sides of the argument in the Kevin Smith vs. Southwest Airlines feud. On the one hand, you have a millionaire movie director posing as an everyman raising a stink about a thing that he was ultimately at least partially responsible for because it’s not like all those snacks ate him. On the other hand, I do understand that the whole situation might elicit emotional support from people who themselves feel ostracized by society, and at the mercy of faceless corporations. And since neither side of this issue has to do with whether or not Kevin Smith makes good movies, it is still possible to remain ambivalent. This is America. We were built on ambivalence.

But it is definitely time for Kevin Smith to shut up now. I mean, it has been time all week. One evening of pointed Twittering seems sufficient to get your point across, whatever that point is, and to shame Southwest Airline employees for following their corporate policy in regards to your giant body. On top of that, Kevin Smith recorded a podcast to REALLY get his story out there. Fair enough, emphasis on the ENOUGH. Kevin Smith’s challenge yesterday to Southwest Airlines to a televised test of his girth was definitely a reason why he should shut up. But now Kevin Smith has provided an astonishing 24 Reasons why he REALLY needs to shut up now:

That is right. Kevin Smith has recorded a 24 PART YOUTUBE SERIES about this fucking nonsense. UNBELIEVABLE. UNACCEPTABLE.

Reason 1

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Reason 24

Shut up now, Kevin Smith. Put some cake in your mouth and shut it. (Via FilmDrunk.)

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Comments (81)
  1. How does Kevin Smith have time to fly places?

  2. I think I’ll just wait for the Cameron book adaptation. Thanks.

  3. He should have used the time it took to make these videos and walked on a treadmill instead. (It’s okay, I can joke about these things because I’m fat.)

  4. Man, I wish I still had that footage of the great Kevin Smith/ JNCO Jeans feud of 1997.

  5. He’s the Rosa Parks of 2010

  6. At least he realizes there are more important things going on in the world and calling attention to a fer realz tragedy. Also, this publicity can’t hurt his film’s chances next weekend and I doubt we see him shutting up before then.

    • I’m convinced this is a dumb publicity stunt for Cop Out. The call is coming from inside the plane/jnco shorts etc. etc.

  7. Does he share lawyers with Chris Brown because whoever convinced him to put the Haiti banner has to be the same guy who told Chris Brown to wear baby blue to his Larry King interview. “Just put a banner for Haiti and everyone will definitely watch all 24 video and be sympathetic towards your cause! Sympathy breeds sympathy! Trust me!”

  8. Does he know what it says about Haiti under him? Because it sort of calls attention to the fact that 200,000 people lost their lives when the Earth shifted a little bit, and meanwhile he has spent the last week mouthing off about a corporation being mean to him (I’m also leaving the right and wrong out of it). Geez, Kevin. Perspective – Let me show u it. Or just look down in any of these videos! Because those words are making you look silly!

    • I’m not even sure I’d say the corporation was mean! They gave him free money to put him on another flight!

      • I have gone out of my way to avoid learning any specifics about this story, so it’s entirely possible that he was just horribly embarassed!

      • First, he actually mentioned the Haiti thing in the first video (mentioning how when asked about the Conan/Leno thing, he said the Haiti was more important, and so is this). As for the free money … he had already used 3 tickets on an earlier flight (for himself, his wife and her taint, but only he ended up going). He only wanted to use two, but the person he was dealing with printed out all three, and rushed him onto the plane so that if he wanted to get a refund for the ticket he didn’t need to use he’d have to go through a process after getting home. Later, he tried to get home early, and was on a packed flight. He still had two tickets (at premium prices that allow first choice of seats, etc). Because of that he had first dibs on standby, so he got the standby seat, but the plane would be packed, so he would only get one. They still took both his tickets, again rushing him onto the plane and telling him that he’d be able to deal wth it later. Then they took him off the plane almost as soon as he got in. So, after going through all of that, they offer him a 100 dollar gift voucher (which means … you can only spend it at this airline that has been repeatedly rude to you) and let him use the plan tickets he had already purchased to take a later flight.

        The woman on that flght was treated with similar rudeness is also someone that spent the extra money to get “better treatment” like being first on the plane and having their choice of seat (in part as a courtesy to not be the “slow fat person” in front of other people. Both of the fatties had spent extra money to be courteous as well as to avoid embarassment. The extra cash spent would normally allow them to get in the plane, grab a window seat and if someone ended up sitting next to them, that would be their choice. In Smith’s case, he’d even buy an extra seat because HE didn’t want people sitting next to HIM, not because he was spilling onto them. And if that is how the company treats people who pay the premium for special treatment … how rude are they to the people paying just the normal fare?

        One other thing people may not know, is that Southwest doesn’t assign seating like a normal airline does, so it’s like a greyhound bus basically, you sit where there is an available seat. So you only get stuck next to a fat person on a particularly full flight AND you are one of the last people on the plane.

        But hey, he has money and people don’t like his movies, so he should just go on a diet. Because fat.

        • I know that Southwest doesn’t have assigned seats, actually, I just don’t have enough interest in this story to learn much about the specifics (which is why I noted that I wasn’t commenting on who was right/wrong). I also must’ve missed the part in my post where I mentioned that he needed to go on a diet because he’s fat, or that I hate his movies (I actually very much enjoy some of his work!) ModestAlfred didn’t say any of those things either. But I appreciate you putting words in both our mouths!

  9. Coming soon from Sky Mall:

    but be prepared to buy it an extra seat!

  10. Wow I lost my patience literally :46 into the first clip.

  11. I just scrolled through these without watching them, and it was like a Kevin Smith flip book. Awful.

  12. so, i guess the reset button wasn’t about fat-shaming like we all thought it was? at any rate, yes, kevin smith needed to shut up years ago, but like all people who would do best to shut up, the best way to get them to shut up is to quit paying attention to them.

    • I don’t think Gabe is shaming him for being fat, but for being completely and utterly unable to just LET IT GO. Jeesh.

      • yeah, i get mostly the let-it-go vibe from the post. i suppose it’s just a knee-jerk reaction on my part to the “put some cake in your mouth and shut it” line at the end.

  13. He’s really making us guys with beards look like complete assholes.

  14. His wife must be feeling unappreciated by now. He should move on and start twainting again.

  15. As a former fattie, I have absolutely no sympathy for Kevin Smith. Sure it was a bit humiliating, but anyone who wears jorts 24/7 has resigned to being fat and therefore opens themselves up to ridicule. That lard ass needs to STFU already.

  16. Kevin Smith shutting up? Fat chance.

  17. I’m curious to see if he continues to buy two seats for himself on future flights (to be fair, he claims it’s for his own privacy as, you know, a well known non-celebrity) or make jokes about his doctor declaring him morbidly obese or talk about the time he broke a toilet seat just by sitting on it. ‘Cause any of those might be seen as an admission of extreme obesity.

  18. Can we make watching all 24 videos the next T14TT assignment? Because I couldn’t even make it through the first one.

  19. No one should have to bear a 24 part rant by Kevin Smith. No one. End the injustice!

  20. Can we make watching all 24 videos the next T14TT assignment? Because I couldn’t even make it through the first one.

  21. I used to live with a friend who would listen to Kevin Smith’s “Smodcast” (which i guess is a combination of the ‘Sm’ from Smith and ‘odcast’ of podcast) and would love to tell me all about it, every week. I am glad I do not live with this friend anymore.

  22. I need something in the frame with him for size reference, like Ratner’s leprechaun.

  23. omg something happened in haiti you guys!

  24. these guys feel your pain kevin

  25. oh neat, one clip for every hour of my day!

  26. Sorry. The only 24-part Youtube series I will watch is “Trapped in the Closet”

  27. Who’s Kevin Smith?

  28. Minute 1: If Gabe posts it, I will watch it (my unhappy new years resolution).
    Minute 8: This guy talks a lot, he must have a lot to say.
    Minute 39: I am no closer now than I was when I started this rigmarole. I still don’t have a clue.
    Minute 48: This Silent Jay guy strikes out again.

  29. I like how he uses the Silence of the Lambs/Criminal Minds BAU techinique of repeating the name of the party of interest over and over and over again so that we will identify. “My daughter is Katherine”…”Oh really? Maybe I’ll let her go now” = “I’m too fat to fly SOUTHWEST AIRLINES… My apologies SOUTHWEST AIRLINES for trying to fly your thin person’s airline [OK I watched more of this than I should have]“…”Oh boy that SOUTHWEST AIRLINES must be evil I for some reason never want to fly with them ever.”

  30. In communist Russia snacks eat Kevin Smith!

  31. I’m not watching all of those! You can’t make me!

    However, I will say one last thing. I think the reason Kevin Smith is having a hard time shutting up is because, despite his size, he still could sit easily in one seat. He showed Southwest. Southwest even admitted that it wasn’t really the reason he was booted, but everyone is STILL talking about his size and blaming him. The argument has become all about whether fat people should pay more and that they shouldn’t be defended because it’s their own fault, etc. etc.

    The argument should be about whether Southwest can arbitrarily decide when or when to not follow a policy and what the criteria are and shouldn’t they be finding a better way to deal with it than they did. The argument should be about whether Southwest was treating a paying customer well by ejecting him from a flight, publicly scorning him for his size, and then refusing to retract that statement or admit they made up that reason, and basically all around humiliating the guy.

    You could say he’s adding to it by making it so public, but I can’t say that his humiliation is any greater than your average (or extra large) person who doesn’t have a platform or a backing of fans. They don’t have the clout to get an apology if they feel they have been mishandled. I think Kevin Smith is right to demand the right kind of apology. Not, “I’m sorry you feel hurt,” but “I’m sorry, we were wrong.” Even when they apologize, they’re still saying he was too fat to fit, and everyone is believing that.

    And if I had this bitch saying shit about me, I’d be pissed too, http://jezebel.com/5472844/am-i-supposed-to-compare-how-much-i-have-sex-to-how-much-you-have-sex

    Anyways, I actually agree with Southwest’s policy, and agree that people who are worried they might not fit in a single seat should be proactive and buy the second seat. It saves embarrassment, and Southwest even refunds the fare if the flight wasn’t sold out, and I think that’s great. However, if Southwest and a customer disagree on whether the second seat is needed, and the customer should be able to demonstrate one way or the other, and then Southwest should leave the person alone and probably apologize for the embarrassment. Not eject them from the plane and continue to blame them. That’s just how you treat customers well and get them to keep coming back. Plus, just the suggestion alone will probably get them to reconsider their lifestyle a bit. Instead, I imagine Kevin Smith wanted to go home, eat thirty cheeseburgers, and shout, “Fat?! I will show you goddamn fat!!”

    That is (probably) my last contribution to the discussion.

    • I’m with Lulubelle.
      I WILL NOT WATCH those videos. I also agree that I think Southwest copped out (PLUG!) of a proper apology as to what the true offense was, which is what Smith is currently crazily railing against much to everybody’s dismay, and nobody seems to get that, but whatever.
      MORE LOST RECAPS! That’s what I want!

      • Ok, I just thought up a scenario I would like to see attempted, but I need someone with a belly full of courage to attempt it for me, because I’m crazy… but I’m not THAT crazy! lol
        So basically just hit play on all 24 videos at once and see if that act of 24 Kevin Smiths talking his talk will bring about ?he Rapture. I’ll be getting my pet-detecting equipment while you do this.
        If it doesn’t work and ?he Rapture doesn’t come, have no fear! I’m pretty sure the method is correct; I’ve just mixed up the correct arbiter.

        A very worthy candidate for this experiment. amiright?
        So who’s up for the challenge?

    • I hope we can all agree that MeMe Roth is beyond loathsome.

  32. Well I watched the first three out of curiosity and what I came away with was “Kevin Smith: like WHAT is your problem?” He is literally not talking about ANYTHING. Not going to bother whining about the actual content of these videos, but was there a reason he made 24 of them rather than one or two? I am totally naive about how YouTube works but is that really necessary? The Haiti banner bothers me more than anything else about these videos. It is almost comical. It is something Carles would post about on HRO. By splashing HAITI underneath his face, Kevin Smith is partaking in the self-aggrandizing “celeb philanthropy” that has been so common of late. To me it seems like he is exploiting Haiti in order to further demonize Southwest and by extension all of his detractors. Like if you don’t care about Kevin Smith’s concern for traveling fat people then you don’t care about Haiti. People like him are part of a major problem that is transforming a real humanitarian crisis into a keyword for populist sentimentality and shameless exploitation of 1st world guilt. How long is there going to be an unspoken or spoken #Haiti hashtag after everything we as westerners engage in? Until the next nonwestern humanitarian crisis?

    I just have to say that it’s unbelievable how tense America gets when a celebrity and a brand suddenly conflict. Relax, technoAmerica.

  33. Kevin Smith is not used to 7-10 people with cameras.

  34. I am a Kevin Smith fan, and he definitely needs to shut it. Also, I can’t help but chuckle at this, from Film Drunk:

    “That?s right, after his hundreds of tweets on Too-Fat-To-Fly-Gate and an entire podcast, he still needed twenty four GD YouTube videos. I didn?t watch any after the first, but unless he fights a giant spider in third act, I?d consider them a colossal waste of time. And that?s coming from the guy who spent the last 30 minutes making this:”

  35. So why is the video flipped? Why is the Stanley Cup Champions thing behind him reading in reverse? Is this really kevin smith or Bizarro KS? Is it 2008? 2005? 1973?

  36. At approx. 2:18 PM in the 18th day of the second month in the year of our Cobert 2010, Kevin Smith posted ANOTHER blog entry about Southwest Air!!! So ever after he took 24(!) Youtube videos to rant his final words about the incident, HE’S STILL POSTING HIS FINAL WORDS ABOUT THE INCIDENT!?!?!?!? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

  37. Taken collectively, those videos are still better than Chasing Amy.

  38. Fake and Gay

  39. Feed Kevin Smith to Haiti.

  40. “It’s like herpes, shit keeps coming back” Kevin Smith video 4 (i think)

    I don’t know. Is it bad to want this to be a publicity stunt? Is it more pathetic to imagine KS as a real person who just became “C list” famous on accident. or a self absorbed black hole of celebrity pretending to be “just one of the nerds” ?????

    I need answers.

  41. Why won’t this person that we can easily ignore and yet we keep dedicating posts to shut up?!?!?! I bet by talking about it more it will convince other people to stop talking about it and then he’ll stop talking about it. Because logic.

  42. If you play all 24 videos simultaneously you can hear a demonic voice chanting, “Go see Cop Out, Go see Cop Out, Go see Cop Out” over and over again.

  43. Yeah Kevin Smith, corn syrup is at fault. You just want to stuff your face with sugar, but the evil corporations won’t let you live healthy.

  44. I still find his Tim Burton stories funny.

  45. I like the hockey pictures in the background.

  46. That’s it, Haiti. Send back my blankets.

  47. If Hurley could pay for two seats, Kevin Smith surely can.

  48. http://www.jayandsilentbobstrikeback.com/pa.html

    Brought to you by the Comity for the Exposure of the REAL Kevin Smith…

  49. Well done on smacking down the uppity fat man, Bigotgum.

    It’s disgusting to see the pigs wallow in their thin privilege.

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