Oh man, this is THE BEST. I love that this trailer opens with Kirstie Alley rubbing her lip and then smearing frosting on the glass. Her body is just made of frosting now? I thought so, but I did not have the proof! I also love that she thinks this show is called Big Life because of how busy she is with projects. Right! You got it, Kirstie Alley!

Obviously, there are lots of great things to laugh at and have a good time with about this trailer, like that whole section where Kirstie Alley loudly and proudly talks about how she doesn’t want to just be loud and proud. (Uh oh, I think a loud and proud imposter has been writing her Twitter feed! Twitter, check that authorized feed!) Although the part when Kirstie Alley’s son says that she doesn’t sugar coat anything is just mean, because some lies reveal the painful truth. (Kirstie Alley sugar coats EVERYTHING.)

Just as a quick sidenote to Kirstie Alley, though: it’s one thing to build an entire career out of histrionically complaining about the dramatic fluctuations in your weight that you are not actually working that hard to control because without them you would literally have been forgotten years ago, but at least get your facts straight. Because your show is definitely not the first show where we get to see the “in-between” of weight loss. We get to see that in ALL THE OTHER AWFUL EXPLOITATIVE GARBAGE REALITY TV SHOWS ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS. Case in point, here is the photo of Fat Kevin Federline (that is the clever nickname I came up with when he got fat, and I have yet to hear a more clever nickname for him) that has been circulating on-line all day:

You would think that with all the cake going into Kirstie Alley’s mouth, fewer LIES would come tumbling out. Anyway:

WE ARE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER DVR. (Pun intended, based on this show’s premise, thematic content, and also title.)

Comments (59)
  1. I like the idea of a DVR that changes size depending on the content of the shows it holds. Is it all Biggest Loser? It starts out all huge and bulbous and eventually shrinks significantly, but is still larger than a standard DVR. Is it all America’s Next Top Model? It is actually concave.

  2. I like how K-OVER-fed (huh? right?)…how his camo underwears makes his ass just disappear.

  3. I never knew what Sam saw in her.

  4. Loverboy with Patrick Dempsey was a long long time ago

  5. Are we sure this isn’t just her episode of Hoarders: Frosting?

  6. When I get home I plan on RRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNing to the room where I keep my DVR so I can tape this, I hope it stays on the air FOREVER

  7. Whenever I see Kirstie Alley I’m always reminded of how well I think she would fit in as an alien extra in a Men In Black movie, just wandering around the background of their headquarters. Maybe they would expand her part into a speaking role art some point when Rib Torn starts improvising and asks her for an Earth quarter.

  8. This is just the tip of the iceberg (no pun intended) (?) — NBC also has a reality show coming up about weight loss that ties in with the Olympics, called “The Biggest Luger”, so.

  9. So many levels of denial and contradictions. Wow, I can relate to Kirstie! The producers of this show have got me pegged.

  10. K-Fat? (I’m so sorry.)

  11. “The in-between is really the meat and potatoes. No pun intended” Shut up, Kristie Alley, puns are all you do!

  12. Considering my current DVR (by that you mean eyes, right?) is set to watch the following 24/7, I guess I can give Alley-Fat a whirl.

  13. Another reality show about someone with a reality show… Did Kirstie Alley eat Denise Richards?

  14. whether or not shes being hypocritical or lying – i think your fat jokes are getting out of hand.
    there are so many worse people you can be spending your time on.

    • Seriously, was the point of this post just to call her fat? Was this necessary?

    • Personally, I’m just tired of hearing about fat people not having souls; they do have souls, some of them even go to church. They can make videos (or entire reality series’) whenever they want. Fat and proud.

    • Kirstie Alley is SO fat…
                        How fat is she?
      Kirstie Alley is SO fat she should change her name to Kirstie Highway!
      Kirsite Alley is SO fat she doesn’t just sugar coat everything but chocolate coats it too!
      Kirstie Alley is SO fat she probably has severe health issues!
      HA! oh….I <3 jokes.

  15. Seeing Kirstie Alley in a dress gives me childhood flashbacks to New Zoo Revue…

  16. Yeah, God bless you, Kyle, for teaching (you had to teach her?) how to use Twitter.

  17. I might watch this for 1.5 reasons:
    1. Kyle, Kirstie’s assistant, because he’s cute.
    .5. Kirstie’s son, True, has cute potential, if he shaves that stupid chin hair. That’s why he only gets a .5.

    I also like when people say things like, “This will show you the REAL Kirstie Alley!” Who were we seeing before? It’s not like Kirstie Alley’s life thus far is some kind of mystery locked inside a riddle.

  18. Kirstie Alley gets an eternal pass due to her protrayal of Lt. Saavik in “The Wrath of Khan.” NEVER FORGET.

    • Don’t forget Runaway with that guy from the sandwich waterfall site and the dude with the long tongue from last season’s Apprentice.

    • But let’s also not forget how she asked for a crazy high salary for Search For Spock and had to be replaced.
      I wonder how many Trekkies there are on Videogum. I feel like it’s too few.

  19. I thought Anna Nicole Smith was dead? How is her show still on?

  20. woozefa  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2010 +3

    wow, she’s FAT! HA HA HA HA HA! um, yeah. fat.

  21. A & E needs another letter, because this is neither A nor E.

  22. There’s nothing wrong with being fat. However, there is something wrong with being Kirstie Alley.

  23. Where’s the video of Kirstie Alley getting corn rows?

  24. My favorite part is “I was skinny my entire life, until I gained 75 pounds.” Pardon? That whole sentence was a prelude to an explanation that never came.

  25. Kirstie Alley I demand you give those lemurs back to Madagascar, and those Chinchillas to Peru. Failing that, adopt them out to good homes at once; animals shouldn’t be subjected to the insanity of people who get into Twitter fights with Joy Behar. Especially when those animals can live nearly 30 years in captivity. That is a lot of years to be Kirstie Alley’s Novelty Pets.

  26. I’m less appalled at Kirstie Alley’s hypocritical exploitation of her weight fluctuations while complaining about people’s judgment of said weight fluctuations than the fact that she named her son True.

    Really? True?

  27. I mean, clearly big sister doesn’t give a fuck because she’s drunk. Ride it out, Kirstie Alley; no Anna Nicole Smith to upstage you :)

  28. so what, who cares?

  29. I have been gone from Vgum for a while, so I am not Dr. Why Vgum Cares About Kirstie Alley over here. I know that Vgum preoccupies itself with the most asinine riffraff of TV and the Internet, but seriously, why Kirstie Alley? I personally do not think her fatness or her show or her personality are interesting at all, not really worth hating or loving or writing about. What’s the deal? Why is Kirstie Alley worth thinking about? It boggles the mind.

  30. I didn’t know that Jay Baruchel was Kirstie Alley’s son, and had an eyebrow ring!?

  31. I want to like Kirstie Alley. Seriously. Like, I think she’d be funny at a party or at your ladies book club night. I even try to not take her seriously on the internet. But I can’t. I just can’t like her. Because sometimes you can be fat and sassy, and sometimes you just need to have some dignity. She’s missing the dignity.

  32. Did you see her female assistant. She had a look on her face like she had seen the afterlife and it is just reruns of kirsty alley shows…forever.

  33. I see no sassy gay sidekick. She must not really be fat.

  34. Maybe I’m not getting “it”, but I didn’t see any ham at all. This is supposed to be a reality show, right?

  35. At first I thought Gabe was being an asshole, but wow… she’s fat. And so much make-up. She reminds one of 80s pop transvestite Divine in a certain light. Besides, she built her career on being a bitch to people. If some tenderhearts can’t stand seeing her take a little heat, maybe they should get out of her hideously decorated, green and white kitchen thank you very much Oprah.

  36. you just KNOW she’s eating those lemurs, right?

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