With all of the attention being paid to the Conan/Leno fiasco, people have been ignoring the important work of George Lopez, namely his attempts to determine who is blacker, Snoop Dogg, or Charles Barkley, in a “Black Off,” whatever THAT is. Anyway, the results are in, and you might be surprised (by how much worse Lopez Tonight is than you would have even dared imagine).

Oh shoot! I meant to warn you guys. Yeah, we all have to go to Race Jail now. I really should have told you before you watched the video. Oh well, he/she’s all yours, Warden!

What on Earth is this segment? Why does the audience applaud that Snoop has no Asian ancestry? And why do they really applaud when he is 6% European? What does it even mean that “everyone thinks [Snoop is] blacker than Charles Barkley”? And why does Snoop respond “I hope so!”? Why do you hope so? So many questions! What is in George Lopez’s hatch?! The only thing I am not confused about is why Charles Barkley calls himself “the Notorious DNA” at the end. He does that because he is borderline retarded. (Thanks for the tip, Max.)

Comments (23)
  1. I’m sure this is just what those scientists had in mind when they spent decades unlocking the secrets of DNA.

  2. This segment was written by noted comedy genius Dr. Chuckles Mengele.

  3. Just reading the description of this made me realize what my Grandpa must feel like when he watches any show on television that is not the Nightly News.

  4. I went to an Obama rally last year and George Lopez was the “opening act.” It was weird then, but it’s even weirder now.

  5. “A medium t-shirt!” Ok, that was kind of funny.

  6. Charles Barkley is gonna need a bigger shark bag for all that black

  7. Alright. I think I’ve figured this out. They were laughing when Lopez said Snoop was 0% Asian because he looks 0% Asian and duh? And I think they applauded when he said he was 6% European because of Snoop’s bemused expression.

    Detective Napoleon: trying to find non-racist answers to racially charged questions since alright this joke is over.

  8. wait a minute. you mean to tell me i’m mostly irish? i don’t like guinness, i rarely wear green on st. patrick’s day, and i don’t even look like a leprechaun!

  9. i want george lopez to have jeff dunham as a guest because 2012

  10. Can you overdose on racism? “How can I not be Asian, I love Chinese food?”-Dr. Biology over here.

  11. George Lopez: 100% twat.

  12. really, he should have been giving stereotypical Native American gifts: Booze, a casino, land that then gets taken back…maybe some meth.
    (well, i figure I’m already going to race jail, i might as well ride 1st class)

  13. almost every time my wife and i visit her family they break out the ol’ geoge lopez dvd and we laugh and laugh, but i always make sure, as the gringo, to not laugh nearly as loud as they do. my wife and her sister will look at each other and smile and say stuff like “mom totally used to do that, it’s funny ’cause it’s true!” or “dude, that’s totally tio martin!” i guess the point is, stick to vaguely offensive and stereotyping jokes about your own culture. they’ve got a better chance of hitting the mark, and you’re allowed to do it. oh, and white people, white people are always a fair and easy target.

  14. East Asia, you are NOT the father.

  15. These numbers don’t really seem right. How can you be 6% of something?

  16. Remember the fable where the tortoise eventually beats the hare during a race (competition on Lopez Tonight)? Slow and steady, Sir Charles, slow and steady.

  17. Is it bad that I found this pretty funny?

  18. What you are feeling is exactly what I feel when one of my white friends talks to me about his family being 100% Irish.

  19. I’m curious to know my lineage now, watching this video. I’ve always described myself as German-Dutch-Irish… I wonder if there’s any Sub-saharan African in me! Then I could get all pissed at people who use the word negro unironically!

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