Photos
Speaking of catchphrases, this 1982 television segment about a Valley Girl Contest in a California mall introduces an expression that I think we need to bring back.
Oh hi, Fred Willard!
Probably the most interesting thing about this video is how even at the height of Valley Girl’s faddishness, it treats the whole thing like performance art. Even Moon Unit Zappa, the self-proclaimed Queen of the Valls, clearly recognizes this as some kind of self-aware character study. So weird! The contestants on stage can barely keep it together, and the judges are seriously reconsidering the path their lives are on. “Is this a joke? Is my life a joke?” But wait, we are getting away from what is important:
“I think bag your face is the ultimate derogatory thing you could say to somebody.”
–All of our tombstones
Definitely. Let’s never say it, you guys. (Thanks for the tip, Ben.)
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I’m going to tell the grocery boy that tonight! Thanks for the tip BEN
You are so WELCOMEEEE!!!!!
I feel like I’m watching the very first shot fired in the “Fred Willard vs. Eugene Levy ‘I will be in anything at all war of 1982-?’”
I’d like to be known as “the man that everyone will recognize as an expert on choosing ladies.”
I’m actually impressed! I doubt emo kids [the valley girls of the aughts?] could reach this level of self-awareness.
Judge: “So, what are the most important words of the emo kid lexicon?”
Emo Contestant: “Um, like. Hardcore, and stuff. *mumbles*”
They held a contest? Ha. Everyone knows Nicolas Cage is the ultimate Valley Girl.
he was from hollyweird!
i once got into a very intense debate about nic cage’s attractiveness (college!) and i won because of this movie. … i’ll let you decide if i was arguing for attractive or not attractive.
BagYouFace. What do you mean YOU faces?
Youface is the latest social networking site, but not you-face, do not visit you-face
Jack: “This Picture will be my FoLo…”
Liz: “…Not a word!”
Jack: “….which is a contraction for Photo and Hello.”
I am old enough to remember when girls actually wore these blouses. Looking back now they look like one of those polygamist wives you see on CNN after they raid a compound in Utah.
Ha! I always associated the Nu-Prairie resurgence of the early 80′s with the Wendy’s logo.
i thought it looked like something blair would wear. i think gossip girl burnt my eyes.
i totally thought you meant Blair from “Facts of Life”
I can’t believe I watched the whole thing. But I couldn’t imagine a world where I would not have watched the whole thing. A special hello to Space Ghost, Gary Owens. A special groan for tv’s Byron Allen.
So, Bachelorette Number 5, Loryn Laughlin… I got super excited, because I thought it said Lori Laughlin, aka TV’s Aunt Becky. But no… That would’ve been a great Where Were They Then.
Real People! So I didn’t just dream this show!
i used to love that show. i think it was on sunday nights? i had a huge crush on peter billingsley (the kid from a christmas story and more importantly messy marvin)
You crazy for this one, Skip Stephenson!
Too bad he grew up to direct Couples Retreat.
Peter Billingsley, not Skip Stephenson.
“Oh my god, Becky, you’ll never believe what that heinous bitch Ashley said to me!”
“Aw, Stephanie, stop crying. It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“She told me to [whispers] bag my face.”
“Let’s kill her.”
Plot line for Heathers, basically.
Seriously. What’s her damage?
Valley girls: beating James Franco to the “performance art” punch since 1982.
WHO WON THIS COMPETITION. THE VIDEO CUTS OUT BEFORE THEY ANNOUNCE THE WINNER!!!!!!!!!
…the world may never know…
gag me with a spoon! glad to see you back.
Holy Comics Unleashed, Batman! That’s Byron Allen at 2:00.
“It feels good inside to know that you can make your mouth do that.” Moon Unit Zappa, 4:30 mark.
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that…
Since when has “Awesome” been so tubular and radical it has to be put in “air quotes” for old men watching this on TV whilst enjoying their new snuggies?
“…this nation’s most articulate, original homegrown Valls.”
does “bag your face” mean “i guess i’m a racist”?
Who knew that Maggie Gyllenhaal’s real name is Loryn Laughlin!
Not to be all tree-huggergum, but am I the only one perturbed by the shots of smog threatening to overtake downtown L.A.? AS IF! GAG ME WITH A SPOON!
Omigodyouguys! Fred Willard is totally my new boyfriend.