When I first saw the trailer for The Spy Next Door I thought “Oh my gosh, that looks terrible and full of lazy cliches, I can’t believe they are actually making this movie in 2009, also did Jackie Chan learn nothing from The Tuxedo?” That is what I thought, word for word. But today I got an email from Lionsgate Movies with these official film stills from the movie, and it looks like a lot of fun! Just kidding!

“Could this movie look any worse?”
– Bandler Ching.

I put all the stills into an easy-to-use photo gallery, because even if no one involved with The Spy Next Door bothered to put any thought or effort into their work whatsoever, doesn’t mean we have to live our lives the same way. Let’s do better!

*Sarcasm.

Comments (27)
  1. i heard 12% of movie-goers believe that opponents of ‘the spy next door’ are racist. so, you know, i guess i’m racist.

  2. since when is Jackie Chan a well respected and mildly eccentric Harvard economics professor?

  3. Ah, another one of those “dag gummit” moments!

  4. He quit doing action films for this?!?
    Pshh, sign me up to be a racist (against this movie) too.

  5. The kid from the Taylor Swift music video. I still can’t get over that.

  6. Does the Boringest Subplot Ever want to date me? I bet he wants to date me.

  7. Oh man. I went to the mall this weekend and there were so many people there! So instead of taking the escalator, I tied a sheet to the rafters and swung down from the food court to Forever 21. MLITSND

  8. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  9. I’ve got something to put inside the Boringest Subplot Ever.

  10. there are no words…only vomit. mostly over Silly Ray’s hair and soul patch. He’s still trying to make that work, huh? that’s too bad.

  11. Looks like this is going to take up the mantle of hiding-in-plain-sight spy movies like True Lies and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Except 75% of the dialogue will be unintelligibly delivered by Jackie Chan. I hope there’s a Chris Tucker cameo appearance! I keep seeing Rush Hour 3 on Starz Black. He’s delightful.

  12. if you think this movie is the worst, just imagine what it would be like if the rock had been cast as the lead instead of jackie chan. i think jackie chan does us a service.

  13. How more of a 90′s comedy can this movie get? Just look at the third picture, OVERALLS! In 2009? No. No way.

  14. True Life: I’ve Seen The Tuxedo. And It Was Retarded.

  15. I couldn’t think of anything for this round. Sorry guys, I’ll try harder once werttrew makes some kind of Jackie Chan list.

  16. “We Tried to take Mr. Nanny 2, but Ms. Hogan took the rights to all of Terry’s sequels in the divorce. Then we called vin, but he already made this movie, and ‘Transporter 3: Pacific Rim’ didn’t fly with the focus groups.”

    So…Spy Next Door, because fukkit – we gotta eat.

  17. Aw, I will never not love Jackie Chan, no matter how many bad decisions he makes.

    Also, re:photo (mambo?) #5: I totally have those plates! Looks like they went shopping at the Bed Bath & Beyond before swinging away from it on a bedsheet.

  18. It’s nice to see Bandler Ching continue to be a trusted source of wisdom.

  19. the “Spy Next Door” is almost as logic-defyingly clever as” Holmes for the Holidays”. It’s a win for me.

  20. is “bandler ching” on the videogum in-joke list?

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