Oh. My. God. You. Guyz. Last night was the Twilight: New Moon premiere in Hollywood, California. Is anyone else’s head falling off, or is it just me over here? HELP! MY HEAD! The only thing that I would like almost as much but not as much as going to prom with a mythological vampire who is in a surf battle with the magical werewolves over the entrance to my human vagina would be to stand for hours in a mass of strangers screaming in my ears and holding up homemade signs that read like cries for help. Just kidding! That sounds like a nightmare! I will stick with just dreaming about make-believe swamp thing prom, or whatever. But here are some of the people who don’t think that is a nightmare, and who in fact think it is very fun and something that is worth doing even if you are an adult. We should all be so lucky as to find something in this world that makes us happy, even if it happens to be this thing!

Comments (78)
  1. I bet from above, this mass of people forms the shape of a giant zero.

    • Bet their waistlines (Sizes, Actual CIRCULAR Shape) similarly support your estimation.

      • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        • Heh…it’s a fine line between Videogum and Assholegum. And sometimes IT JUST GOT BLURRIER. Amiright?

        • People taking personal offense to getting downvoted is one of my guilty pleasures on Videogum. My favorite was someone on the Richard Heene neighbor-fight post whose brain basically broke.

          • Found it:
            “Minus me you bastards?! Dont you idiots know who I am?!
            My guess is if I got a stupid little obnoxious picture by my comment and said something like if I was a writer wannabe dropout wannabe writer – so as to be in with the falsies chums then all would be ,” so weez coo? right?”
            uh huh whatever.
            If the puss pack out there on the youtuber field with digital camcorders and still cameras beeping away had any fucktoids in their tool shit brains, they would at least join the nerdrectum force united into supplying us bitches with multiple angles at least. I mean you got all that shit and you glued behind retardation?
            uh huh, minus me.
            you buttflossers”
            Classic.

          • Can we please replace “downvote” with “Minus me you bastards”. It’s so much more easier to say.

          • Mike Tyson SOOOOO WISHES he wrote that.

        • Making fun of “fat people” with comments like, “Look: fat people” isn’t funny, is the thing.

  2. Surf Wars: Riding the Waves of Pleasure.

  3. “stupid lamp” is killing me right now.

  4. All I have to say about this is TRASH. Except for those fierce gay guys. They are the OPPOSITE OF TRASH. <3

  5. no wonder this country can’t decide on things like how not to get into wars and universal healthcare. all of our greatest minds are wasting their brain power on twilight fan posters! come on, cullensicles, you clever minx – get back to saving our country!!! ahhh, cullensicles.

  6. Well, both sides have put forth compelling arguments and though I wavered a bit with the introduction of Camp Lamp…I still think I?ll stick with Team Gross.

  7. On my birthday, I could not ask for a funnier post. Thankee, Gabe.

    • Happy Birthday! Your gift is to choose one of these New Moon fans. You can choose which ever one you want. Personally, I’d go with “Stupid Lamp”. That’s just because I want to watch Jeopardy with someone who doesn’t stand a chance.

    • Happy Birthday!
      As a kid, I blew bubbles.
      Different bubbles I think tho, don’t recognize the avatar.

  8. More like, “Ew Moon.” Because ewwwwwwww.

  9. On my Christmas list: Twilight vampires vs. True Blood vampires in a bad-acting vamp-off.

  10. I wonder if that lone, solitary “Team Jasper” fan feels a little silly standing there.
    Just kidding. (Of course she doesn’t.)

  11. As we speak, there is a CEO of a poster board company rolling around naked in a huge pile of money. Simultaneously, 50 IHOPs across the midwest had to close for the day as all their waitresses called out sick to go to this premiere. HA! Economics!

  12. and that girl’s hat is almost as cool as her katy perrry-derived t shirt

    • Girl in hat should not be so coincidentally attractive, but sometimes you have to feign interest or surrender to whatever your boyfriend’s into because Stockholm Syndrome.

  13. girls want to cut themselves in front of ‘jasper’? what happened to the good old days when girls just hung up pictures from their teen beat magazine on the walls of their bedroom?

  14. “Team Rob because Rob is more than just Edward!” #barf

  15. I also love the Uncomfortable Dracula Pattinson sign. It’s got personality! An uncomfortable personality!

  16. Why do they all have to be on different teams? I think they should all be on “Team I Should Include Less Money In My Family’s Budget For Glitter and Puffy Paints”

  17. I see a flaw in one of those signs (the others are just ‘PERFECT’). The one that says something like: I like the Cullens Diet… eat me. Isn’t that the point in the movie? They don’t ‘eat’ people.. just animals.. So besides failing in live, they fail at making proper twilight references.

  18. Did you all know that Robert Pattinson stated in an interview that he would prefer the nickname “Spunk Ransom”? Because I did not know that until this last weekend (when I was reading up on ALL the latest Twilight news), and it is TBS Very Funny. Spunk Ransom! Ha.

  19. People came from Tijuana to see this? What, they put “New Moon premier” on the visa application and the INS was just like, “Oh, well then, let’s forgo the extremely long, complicated, and expensive vetting process for Mexican citizens to even get a visa to come visit this country and just let them go stalk Rob Pattinson.” ????

  20. And yet, I still see less grammatical errors than a tea party rally….

  21. anyone else notice the beefcake with the CAME FROM VANCOUVER – TEAM JACOB sign?

    • Since I have a perhaps-misguided tendency to idealize Canada, I’m going to assume they’re from Vancouver, Washington.

    • I noticed that, too! At first I thought he might just be holding is wife’s Twilight sign while she was in the bathroom, but then I realized that A) people don’t do that and B) he looks so proud of it.

    • Maybe he’s Jacob’s dad and or teacher and just came out to support the team, not knowing that in this case “team” is short for “want to f…”

  22. i’m sorry, but did you miss that on #13? “Jesus saw KStews bitchface on His grilled cheese”

  23. also! the Baberaham Lincoln is a Wayne’s World joke! you can’t like Twilight AND Wayne’s World, right? i can’t have something in common with these people

    • No, don’t worry; I think Baberaham Lincoln has become part of our pop culture vernacular, so probably that person doesn’t understand the allusion. At least that is what I am fervently hoping.

  24. I feel bad for the girl. Given a chance, all those fans would rip her apart to take her place. No one is rooting for her.

    Also, I saw way too many people over 20…

  25. If this is what it means to be lucky, you can just call me Job. Amirite??

  26. “Team Jacob from Vancouver is my name, underage girls are my game.”

  27. If our president’s name was Baberaham Lincoln and his credentials were simply that he was a vampire actor… we would have trouble. Our foreign reputation would suffer. And more broadly, I bet Babe would struggle with moving forward any sort of coherent agenda.

    Thank you for the warning, dear Twilight fan

  28. Where was 3good 3be 6gotten?!?!!?

  29. I want to be comforted that the RNs are at least hot for someone of age, but alas, I am still traumatized.

  30. Twilight is, um, an awful thing, is what it is.

  31. Is Lindsey in any of those photos? My theory (and hope) is that everyone there is on some kind of elaborate Double Dog. Lindsey? Linnnddsseeeyyyyyyyy?

  32. So many people rip on this yet its so successful???

  33. STUPID “LAMP” SOLVED:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vS3mF03Yu4

    It’s “stupid lamb” ya’ll.
    And Ive never seen the movie, I just know how to pwn the internet.

  34. twilight is the best

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