When someone says “hey, we are going to broadcast a live Michael Jackson seance on TV,” you assume that it is going to be hilarious and ridiculous. What else could it be? Serious and important? No. But OMG, the reality of SkyOne’s live Michael Jackson seance is so much more hilarious and ridiculous than you ever could have possibly imagined even if you spent 14,000 years locked away in the highest turret of King Friday’s castle trying. I’m pretty sure we could vanquish the Great Nothing on the back of Falcor and still our power of imagination would not be strong enough to imagine this. There is no purple crayon, Harold.

Uhhhhhhhhnbelievable. 2009, you guys. Let’s make sure to check in with that guy after the break and make sure he is OK? I promise you, hosts, that he is not OK. Ever.

Do you remember the movie Kids? Do you remember how at the end of the movie Kids, after everyone has already gotten AIDS and gotten raped and done a bunch of drugs and smelled their fingers and ignored the man on the subway with no legs and slapped their dick between their legs at the West Village swimming pool and beaten a man to death with skateboards in Washington Square Park, when Casper wakes up hungover and still high on someone else’s couch with blood on his knuckles and puke on his Independent t-shirt and AIDS on his genitals and a Dorian Gray’s worth of sins and regrets on his (non-existent) conscience, and he looks around and asks “what happened?” to no one in particular? That is how this video should make us all feel. (Via Warming Glow.)

Comments (45)

  1. Is this real life?

  2. Are we living in Donnie Darko?

  3. michael jackson’s ghost sure is sweaty.

  4. Well I’m so glad that some closure has been brought on the life and death of Micheal Jackson. Thank you for this opportunity in healing the wounds that the death of a legend caused.
    Plus, 2:01. Seance facepalm!

  5. None of this ever would have happened if dead Michael Jackson had stopped sitting around and wanting to be seanced all the time.

  6. I think what made that clip even funnier was the fact that I HAVE NO IDEA WHO ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE.

  7. Sorry, my favourite part is still the fact that Michael Jackson’s primary message from beyond the grave was “Say hi to Quincy Jones for me! Say hi to Quincy” just before the psychic started crying.

  8. I didn’t know Michael Jackson was British and sweaty!

  9. Of all the questions I can ask, I am going to pose two: why those three dudes are dressed up like Michael Jackson, and who is this lady if not Shannen Doherty?

  10. It’s so convenient that the spirit world pauses for commercial breaks. What, like they don’t also have to take a ghost piss?

  11. The fact that the music at the end sounds eerily similar to the Onion News Network jingle is really not helping the credibility of this program.

  12. Because I’m the only person I know who’s seen kids, I like to think that Gabe wrote that last bit just for me, thanks hon ;)

  13. The British “psychic” is named Derek Acora. He used to be on a British ghost hunting show called Most Haunted, which is still on the Travel Channel. He got kicked off of there because he lost credibility as a psychic when he was possessed every single episode.

    Seriously. When you lose credibility on a ghost show, which has “very high standards,” I’m sure, you’ve got some real fucking problems.

  14. This is basically what happens when you mistake One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest for tuition on how to cast.

  15. Those are definitely your talk show hosts! The next segment was probably an in depth interview with Joe Somebody.

  16. WHAT?? the world is stupid. Come on 2012. just end it. please.

  17. hmmm – certainly not the classy event I expected.

  18. if i talked like that i’d be having so many seances.

  19. Did the ghost sing “You Are Not Alone”?

  20. when did Corey Feldman adopt a british accent? *gasface*

  21. Yep, worst decade ever.

  22. i was just going through Yahoo Answer Fails… and found this… and wanted to share with y’all.

  23. It’s a testament to how fucking weird all of this is when no one is even mentioning co-host David Gest. This guy is the best.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  24. Fake, fake, fake. There is no way that Michael Jackson’s ghost is hanging with a bunch of sweaty grown-ups. No, Michael’s off drinking wine out of a coke can with Casper and the Lindbergh baby.

  25. This is what I love about the British. We here in America like to pretend there is integrity, and the people performing for us try to assume that we are an intelligent audience. But the Brits are like, “Fuck it, they’re idiots. We’re idiots. We’re all idiots. Let’s make shows for idiots and who cares? We don’t know or care that Michael Jackson =/= Jesus and does not talk like Jesus.”

  26. Quick question here, uhm…why was this on TV again?
    I know, that sounds naive, but seriously: WHY did this happen?

  27. why is Michael Ian Black crying so much in his Sgt. Pepper jacket?

  28. “Seriously, you guys, just get off my dick already.”

    -The real ghost of Michael Jackson.

  29. Thanks for reminding me that Kids was easily the most disturbing movie I’ve ever seen, Gabe.

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