Never.

How much is a page cost? Where do you turn the key? Is there a safety-harness? Now I am Interneting!

These things are the best, and due to the frantic, rapid-paced-evolution of the Internet, we will have an endless supply of them, just as long as the Pointless Videos Showing People How To Do Basic Stuff, Often Geared Towards Kids Or Old People Who Do Not Care Industry doesn’t collapse. And that’s fresh!

Comments (57)
  1. Between the “Cool Dudes,” tag, the “internet 1.0,” tag and the video itself, I could not be happier. thank you.

  2. “Make sure they show you how they’ve done some of their school reports and not all that cybernet stuff”

    I’m glad that in our furthered knowledge of the webs, we shortened “all that cybernet stuff” to “porn”, now excuse me I’m off to watch Barbarian Porno II on Netscape Navigator.

  3. This reminds of a scene from the Oscar-darling “The Stupids” where Petunia Stupid logs onto a computer and says something along the lines of “Buster, get ready to take a ride on the INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY!” Makes me sad people still don’t refer to it by its given name.

  4. ?What?s a webpage? Something duck?s walk on?? WHY WON?T THEY ANSWER THIS QUESTION. I WANT TO KNOW TOO.

  5. I think all four of these kids were on an episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” at some point

  6. The First Rule of Fight Club is that the Internet is Amazing.

  7. 60secondassassin  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    Hey Andrew what’s up?

  8. you can meet new people, like furries and pedophiles!

  9. “On your mark, get set, we’re riding on the internet. Cyberspace, set free, hello virtual reality! Interactive appetite, searching for a website, a window to the world got to get online. Take a spin, now you’re in with TechnoSet, you’re going surfing on the internet!”

    I’m really busy at work today.

    • at first I thought it said “sex free” hilarious, cause uh, you know, the internet.

      • makes sense :) . sadly that wasn’t the hard part for me. the “rap” section gave me some trouble. I still am not sure what the hell he/she says after “world”, but “got to” made the most sense and I know I’ll be singing the damn thing for the rest of the day…and why I am still talking about this? Wow. I’m going to get myself into some wild Yahooligans now.

  10. Sheesh, when did they invent the internet? The 1840′s? Good thing our current styles, fashions, and levels of technological advancement are timeless and will never be subject to mockery.

    All thanks to the internet. Thanks internet!

  11. remember when moms were only allowed to use computers at the library???!>?!?

  12. the inner-nette! all on one tiny disc!

  13. truly the age of innocence – before all those eviruses and eworms.

  14. Dying at 1:06…
    “E-Mail!
    I read that’s really neat.
    My Cousin has a pen-pal in Sweden, and they write back and forth and it Transl-”
    “Yup! They got more stuff then you can imagine!”

  15. This makes me a little sad. Don’t you remember when the Internet really was magical and exciting and new? You could make friends with someone in another country, or discover some new obscure interest you would have never found in your hometown. It was totally amazing!
    I know we must inevitably take all technology for granted, but I miss those wide-eyed times.

    • I have extremely fond memories for the dawn of Napster. I’d spend six hours every night in front of the screen, thinking nothing but “Is it still downloading? Okay. How about now? Is it still downloading now? Okay.” Those were days to remember.

    • I used to do a common interests search on AIM, back when you could search everyone’s profiles, and strike up convos with strangers. I only met one creep!

      My own profile was, of course, ASCII Garfield.

  16. “You’re using a mouse? Well, we’d better get some cheese.”
    -Andrew

  17. Between this post and the Tom Cruise postI have to say Videogum, you are the greatest and make me laugh a lot.

  18. What does download mean? I’ll tell you when you’re older.

  19. It’s upsetting that they didn’t give credit to Al Gore.

  20. The kid’s guttural throat-clearing sound at 2:36 is something they might could’ve cut out.
    Not for nothing, the acting here is reminiscent of another helpful video about the Internet I’ve seen:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPsUmhqncAg
    (Consider this my application for the job of assistant editor at Duh Aficionado Magazine)

  21. Those siblings love stripes!

  22. I’m actually annoyed about all the barbarian porn hijinks (I haven’t even caught up on my Marge Simpson porn yet), because I really wanted to see what they were looking at. What Lisa Frank-esque screen saver was going to help these kids convince their square dad to finally be cool for once and get an internet connection in their home?

  23. Ohmygoodness this was PRE-Google!!

  24. I can’t wait for the sequel when horndog Andrew tries to look for a free Jessica Biel screensaver, and than gets a computer virus.
    “A computer virus? Does he need some advil up in his CD slot?”-Andrew

  25. BING BONG! You’ve got your Barbarians Porno II! And e-mails!

  26. In all seriousness, I think these children’s strange mannerisms and thin, bizarre voices suggest that they are being abused, or are engaging in incestuous relationships because they’ve been locked in an attic for their entire lives.

    SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT HERE.

  27. Those jump cuts are simultaneously agravating and entertaining me.

    • tizzdogg  |   Posted on Oct 22nd, 2009

      i hate the way EIT edits everything. I feel like the original video would be funny even without their manipulating it.

  28. Yahooligans! NETSCAPE! It’s like the 1930s.

  29. an old wive’s tale the internet is not!

  30. I definitely just made the intro song my new ringtone.

    Now whenever someone calls me I can be reminded of a simpler time when the Yahooligans categorized list of websites counted as a “search engine” and everyone wore stripes.

  31. QUICK install the internet!

  32. I’ll meet you guys at the internet, as long as there are no gay people.

  33. mcdonalds  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    “if you need to use the bathroom or bake a potato or write in your journal or take a walk or all of the above, go ahead and do it now while the page loads.”

    also did that look like a young blonde bill hader to anyone else? just saying…

  34. just lanother you  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

  35. just another you  |   Posted on Oct 21st, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

  36. I miss dialing up duke nukem 3d with a friend:
    me – “DON’T PICK UP THE PHONE WHEN IT RINGS!!”
    mom – “The phone is ringing!”
    me – “LEAVE IT!”
    me – “HIT THE SPACEBAR ON THE STRIPPER!!”
    friend – “BOOBIES!!!!”
    me – “I have to go to the bathroom for a bit.”
    Youth.
    Fin.

  37. seriously can someone please explain this? because I don’t even half understand what the hell these kids are talking about

  38. Parker Lewis at the keyboard there needs to Yahoo “orthodontist Provo” for that rake in his mouth.

  39. “Barbarian Porno 2″, Now thats amazing.

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