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Personally, I’ve never read Sweet Valley High (SURPRISE!), but I assume that it is full of garbage neologisms and self-indulgent teen-speak. And if not, it is now. Something something hamburger phone.
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This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.
'Sup, pogs!
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
Dear Diablo Cody, STOP IT. JUST STOP IT.
I didn’t read it either, but I guess if I imagined what it would be like if Chuck Palahniuk adapted the Hardy Boys, then I could relate.
Frank and Joe’s best friend was portly teenager Chet Morton, who for the past year had been a delivery truck driver for a local butcher. He was fired last month, after being expelled. When Eastdale High’s locker number 306 first started to smell, no one paid it any attention, but a few days later, it was causing people to choke. When security broke the lock, they found piles of rotting cut sirloin and moldy beef tips. Attached to the meat were pictures of the cheerleading squad encrusted with a substance that the high school administration refused to identify.
Genius. I’m having an upvotegasm.
I heard it will feature an original soundtrack of songs by Kimya Dawson, about attempting to hold hands and failing, and sharing juiceboxes
Sweet Valley High is just a painfully mediocre Nancy Drew, so it’s good they got someone who is familiar with painful mediocrity.
I’m still holding out for Tucker Max to sign-on for the Babysitters Club adaptation.
Wasn’t Sweet Valley High a tv show about twins? Or is my memory failing me?
TV show based on a series of books.
Ah, it all comes back to books..
Dead Ringers meets Babysitters Club.
no! get away from my boring, clean living elizabeth wakefield. dont make it quirky! the best part is that the books are totally lame. its a nice, comforting lame book series, for tweens in 1992 to read and imagine what high school will be like. also one time i bought a sweet valley high book from the scholastic book fair and it came with a free bonnebell lipsmacker. diablo cody better be giving out chapstick!!! but still that will not make up for her obviously ruining this.
AGREED. The Wakefield twins were many things–sun-kissed blondes, perfect size-sixes, blue-green-eyed, exactly 5’6″–but they were not quirky. At all.
Sweet Valley High adaptation?
WHOA DREAM BIG
Sounds interesting in the, “this is going to be a trainwreck.” way… Seems like Diablo is using her clout in Hollywood to stay comfortably in her bubble i.e. superficial middle-class pop culture… its getting real boring Hollywood…
For some reason all I can think is “Click to watch Girl Talk”
I hope they base it upon the one where some random serial killer from the midwest decides she’s going to kill Elizabeth (or was it Jessica? I can’t remember) and “take her place” in the family just because she looks a little similar to them, and nobody notices something is amiss because Jessica is busy not talking to Elizabeth after Liz drove drunk (because Jessica spiked her drink) after prom and killed Jessica’s boyfriend.
You know, realistic teenage stuff. They can take lessons from Gossip Girl!
Honest to Videogum?!