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The Emmy Awards! Television’s biggest night! People dressed in expensive clothes, patting each other on the back for the hard work they do to entertain and/or insult our eyes. Seriously, I know this is television’s Golden Age or whatever, we all love 30 Rock and Mad Men and Lost and Friday Night Lights, but television is also very awful! The Emmys should address this somehow. Like, negative awards. Most Despicable Manipulation of Teenagers in Reality TV, for example. Boldest Attempt at Cashing in on Something That Was Popular and Relevant 20 Years Ago. You know, meaningful TV accomplishments. But that won’t happen! So, let’s talk about what DOES happen. Follow the Videogum Twitter for up-to-the-minute yuck-em-ups about Marg Helgenberger’s Lifetime Achievement Award, and join your fellow monsters right here in the comments!
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Go Dennis Franz
Omg wow look at all that shiny stuff!
I hope Entourage gets absolutely nothing but humiliation.
Just because you choose to soak yourself in televisual grotesqueries doesn’t mean you have to shit all over Marg’s special night!
Oh hey I’m late. Who ate all the pizza already!
Glad they got the Kanye joke out of the way in the first 5 minutes.
Six-minutes for the first Kayne reference. I WILL COUNT THEM ALL.
I keep on forgetting that Ugly Betty is still around
I also forget that Tina Fey is pretty hot in real life.
I know right? I never understand how on 30 Rock she’s made out to be unattractive.
Lets add Alyson Hannigan to that list!
I don’t think they make her out to be unattractive as much as they make her out to be disorganized in her personal life and kind of a slob with food issues.
Vanessa Williams is WHACK.
Honestly, I think that was on purpose. They ran out of optical props.
HOLY SHIT if Family Guy WINS THIS fuckin noise I AM REBOOTING this country. WHO IS with ME?!?
Dude, is that John Hodgeman as the announcer?
Sounds like it! Did any one catch him on the Best Show the other week? He was hilarious.
“Seth McFarland”… Tina Fey gets the first zing of the night. That woman can do no wrong.
Wow, so courageous to win an Emmy despite being a chipmunk in a big human robot.
Why won’t Vanessa Williams play ball?!! Also, I want to consume Kristen Chenowith because adorable!!!
Don’t fuck with Doogie Howser in the split screen! He looks like he’s about to cut a bitch!
aw I’m glad Pushing Daisies got some love
also; John Hodgman rules
Jason Segal looks weird with conbed hair.
Is anyone else having trouble hearing Hodgeman? We need a little more mic in the monitor.
Two and a half thumbs DOWN
The only joy I got from seeing him win an award was knowing y’all would be making jokes about it.
Jon Cryer? Really?
Well, that sweater is phenomenal.
Also, no John Cryer. Charlie Sheen does not need one of those.
I like how NPH decided to take a seat in the audience.
DUCKIE WON YOU GUYS! DUCKIE FINALLY WON SOMETHING!
boooooooo
Charlie Sheen does not need one of those.
I wonder if he got the John Hughes dying sympathy vote.
Oh, come onnnnnnn. They should have given Tracy Morgan one for the acceptance speech alone!
Timberlake looks like a lez.
I didn’t know that Jessica Biel was considered funny… then again 7th Heaven
Justin is being really awkward right now.
nice glasses nerd
um, WHAT?
I think I’m done. These awards are the worst.
I’m not completely certain if NPH is just fake upset. He was already in a fight off stage.
Diablo Cody’s writing is so original and has so much guts. Much much more than 30 Rock, guys.
Um, is this just the test Emmys. Where they try out all the moving screens and use losers as stand-ins to make them a bit happier?
Oh good lets give Diablo Cody more credit than she deserves one more time.
Is it Opposite Day in Southern California?
oh great another kanye joke. thank god. one was not enough for me, i dont know about you guys.
Second PERFECTLY executed Kayne joke.
blake livey’s hair reminds me of jar jar binks
wow, Tina Fey’s expression after Justin’s awful Kayne joke, priceless.
“Thank you for letting me come and make a fool of myself.”
That’ll do, Justin Timberlake, That’ll do.
Hodgman is killing it tonight.
Can we talk about Leighton Meister’s dress? What’s going on there? I think she might be using those ropes on her shoulders to escape this terrible show.
they just said HIGHLIGHTS of the year in reality. don’t be playin’ emmys
Did they just pull a Seacrest and cut to commercial before announcing last year’s winner of American Idol?
So Flight of the Conchords isn’t going to win anything tonight?
Even though the majority of this is bullshit awards given to bullshit shows, you have to admit that its nice to see adorable nerds like that last director and the writer from 30 Rock get their moments. JUST SAYING.
Is it just me or does Vince Vaughn get less and less funny every movie?
Numb3rs is still on?
I am digging the obscure credit introductions.
am I the only one who thinks the big pictures of the presenters on those screens behind them is kind of creepy?
No.
Monk is still getting nominated for things? What the hell is going on here?
I am glad Alec BaldWON.
I don’t believe “Lorne Michaels is the greatest boss.”
OH NOT THIS SHIT
Ugh, maybe this is an attempt to publicly shame him? Unfortunately Seth MacFarlane is a monster, incapable of feeling shame or humor.
Ick, doublepost. Sorry guys!
NO NO NO NOT THAT AWFUL FAMILY GUY THING!!!!!
Isn’t it bad enough Family Guy got nominated?
UGH. these again?! stupid family guy.
i don’t now if anyone said this yet but i just wanted to mention how truly despicable it is that It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia has never been nominated nor mentioned at the emmys but the big bang fucking theory has
Yes. Even their sub-par episodes are better than half the stuff that gets nominated.
Reality TV, eh? Well, on to the Cowboys game for a bit.
I think that NPH played the stupid Family Guy clip out of a perverse kind of gay solidarity with that baby.
Only one Real Housewives show was represented! I call Bullshit!
This is one pathetic musical number. Even by awards show standards,
It’s good they put all the “reality” nominations into one section so I can take a break. All this giving-the-awards-to-the-wrong-people-that-don’t-deserve-them-at-all is getting me exhausted!
Do people even care about this category?
What’s a Survivor?
Aww, it’s kind of adorable how very Duckie-ish Jon Cryer is in real life.
So uh Jeff Probst is the slightly less embarrassing high school motivational speaker?
“LIVE YOUR DREAMS” “LIFE IS SHORT” “DON’T DO DRUGS”
sorry i’m late.
i brought more pizza, though…so we’re cool, right?
tracey morgan doesn’t actually act, does he? isn’t he always just tracey morgan? and horrible?
Don’t show up late and start saying crazy things! You’ll turn yourself into that aunt that everyone hates :[
that would just make me tracey morgan.
No one hates Tracy Morgan!
i wondered if i was spelling it right…i was giving him the benefit of the doubt and trying to man up his name. i liked him on SNL, but that’s all i’ll give you.
Who thinks deaf people can’t do things?
i was wondering the same thing…
I think they can’t play Name That Tune.
why doesn’t Tracy Morgan just present every award?
Patricia Arquette and Jennifer Love Hewitt in just 8 MINUTES?!?!!?!
jesus based on the shows winning for best reality shows you would think it was 2002
How am i supposed to care about the awards for reality tv? Is CBS trying to make me go to bed? You’re not the boss of me CBS!
I think I’ve fallen too far down the rabbit hole. I just threw my hand up in the air at Project Runway not winning.
Flight of the conchords gets nothing? to bad since this was prolly their last season. im not that angry though, since shows like eastbound and down and Its always sunny never get any recognition.
I’m also late to the party, but I’m almost caught up on the TiVo. Fast forwarding through the Family Ugh saved me some time, but before I hit the button it sounded like there was no love in the club for that shit.
Is there any pizza left for me to put my bubblegum on?
You can put it on the pizza made of my tears that I cried when Jemaine lost. (Not really. But Flight of the Conchords should win all awards ever.)
True genius is only recognized post mortem.
i like the conchords but they are not that great. the second season was just okay. the guys didnt even write the episodes, and the ones that they did, kinda sucked. still the emmys are the worst. jon cryer??/ jon effing cryer??
Woof. Another bloated, self-important montage. Fuck this, I’m outta here. See you guys on Monday.
I haven’t heard of any of these movies
THIRD Kayne joke (to be fair, classier than others)
Okay I like that one because he’s old.
kanye zing #3(?)!!
oh, man. people, don’t stop with the kanye jokes. they never get old. wait. nevermind. they have been old for almost a week now.
That guys speech was too sweet. Hey Hollywood: we are trying to be snarky. MOAR DUMB THINGS TO MAKE FUN OF PLZ!
Delivered in the form of CBS commercials!
so i am watching this with my parents and my dad just lied to my mom about kevin bacon and charlie sheen getting into a “scuffle” on the red carpet for no apparent reason. gabe, if you need a freelancer for fan fiction…
Gandalf!!
Mad-Eye Moody!!
Late to this, though I have been watching. Mainly for the Hodgman action and NPH to a lesser extent.
It’s odd that the most boring rewards are yielding the sweetest and most sincere speeches.
FOTC’s New Zealand Prime Minister was also in a movie called “Into The Storm”? #accentsarehard
Dude, you guys aren’t even just going to give it to David Simon to make up for screwing him on The Wire?
I’m glad NPH is enjoying that “best seat in the house” gag, because no one else is.
I just figured out what Into the Storm is and kind of want to watch it now.
OMG give Love and P Arquette a buddy sitcom right now, CBS!!
Patricia Arquette is NOT AMUSED
nooooo waaaay!
Oh man now this is just too nerdy.
and yet better than everything so far (or maybe I’m just a nerd)
on that note Felicia Day!