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OK, let’s try this again. So, imagine that this caterpillar is your identity, and Kimbo Slice is a cyber-criminal who wants to do something bad to it. Your computer is a pool of syrup and your keyboard is your high school sweetheart. You can either choose to have your goblins turned into ice cream pizza or you can ping pong ice skate mythology, what would you confound? With the new mid-century Dutch furniture-building tradition, you can ensure that your pool of syrup never gets Harry Pottered and all of your eczema is dry and perfume. Buy more seedless grapes!
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…well I AM getting low on grapes…
I think someone hired the Family Guy manatees to write advertising copy.
If only Kimbo had waited to eat his marshmallow. We might still have a few unraped caterpillars in the world.
Yum, I want some ice cream pizza! The crust would be made of waffle cone, the sauce would be chocolate syrup, and the cheese would be ice cream!!
I want to upvote this right into my mouth
TWSS
and the pepperoni would be… well…. pepperoni!
Chef Brian will drink your milkshake – drink it fat and upside down!
Hippocampus!
Regardless of how stupid this type of humor is I’ll always laugh at these commercials like a 6 month old playing peekaboo.
yeah, i find these commercials delightful.
that caterpillar just laser-eyeballed his arm off! and his pecs were dancing about! delightful.
Basically you just made a Patton Oswalt joke? Which is great!
There better be some videogum write ups for the Ultimate Fighter Season 10. Rashad Evans, Quinton Rampage Jackson, and Kimbo Slice rolled together; that’s one spicy toquito.
i want them to make a million more of these commercials so i can have a million more guided meditations written by Gabe. and by “meditations” i mean “acid trips.”
LOL!!!!!1 Kimbo Slice is always trying to open a world of hate on my computer! It makes my computer so slow, that it can’t handle the jpegs on my Myspace!!!1 But what was with the caterpiller? I thought they had eyes, not lasers?
Woof.
not to be splitting hairs on kimbo’s oh-so-manly beard, but the caterpillar protected itself. If you were to protect the caterpillar you would put it in a *clean* glass pickled-egg jar with a twig and poke a few holes in the lid so you could watch it turn into a beautiful butterfly (Science!). The same with the chicken: it had a switch blade. Now, did you install lasers on the caterpillar? Did you give the chicken some sort of frankenstien-esque sentience and a switch blade? Even if you did I don’t see how *you* are protecting it. It’s like forcing your effeminate kid to take karate lessons. You are giving him the tools to protect himself but the reason he still comes home with atomic wedgies is because he likes it. SEMANTICS!
Jesus, Gabe. That little paragraph was the trippiest thing I’ve seen and I’ve seen The Verve live whilst tripping.