At some point, when it became clear to my family that I enjoyed writing, they began to offer ideas for what I might write about. Especially my grandfather. And in almost every instance, the subject was the dinner we were having. I cannot tell you how many times my grandfather, sitting at the head of the table during a large family meal, has turned to me and said “you could make a story out of this dinner. You could write a whole story about it,” but I can tell you that it is many times. I’ve never taken his advice because I wouldn’t want to read a story about someone else’s family eating dinner, so I can’t imagine anyone would want to read about my family eating dinner. Also, what are you talking about, grandpa? But I feel like something similar happened in the writing of Rachel Getting Married. Someone was at a wedding and their grandfather turned to them and said “you could make a whole movie about this wedding,” and so they did.

Rachel at the Wedding Rachel Getting Married starts at a hospital where Anne Hathaway is getting teased by another patient about something to do with her destructive past. What did she do to end up in the hospital? Don’t worry, we will find out. We will find out A TON. Anne Hathaway’s father and step-mother pick her up to take her home to Connecticut for her sister Rachel’s wedding. Anne is brooding and dark in the backseat because her character is TROUBLED. This isn’t your daddy’s Princess Diaries. (Ew, your daddy has a Princess Diaries?) Anyway, what follows is two hours of a dysfunctional family being dysfunctional over the course of a weekend. There are a bunch of fights. Anne Hathaway will go to an AA meeting and then she will come home and fight, and then she will go to another AA meeting. There is a rehearsal dinner that is filmed in real time (seriously, that scene is like four hours long). It turns out that SPOILER ALERT Anne Hathaway was babysitting her baby brother when she decided to take a bunch of Percocet, and she ended up driving off a bridge and her brother died. That is why everyone hates her, which is a PRETTY GOOD REASON, ACTUALLY. Anyway, one night Anne Hathaway’s mom freaks out and punches her in the mouth for what happened, and Anne Hathaway slaps her in the face, and then Anne Hathaway drives her Mercedes Benz (because being white is hard) into a boulder and sleeps in the forest. The next morning, joggers find her and the police show up, and a tow truck drives her to the house where the wedding is about to begin. And suddenly, like Robin Williams healing Matt Damon with a magical hug in Good Will Hunting, much of the tension and anger of the entire movie has been released. Her sister bathes her? And then there is the United Colors of Benetton wedding. It is seriously like a college campus student committee event on the quad to celebrate diversity. The mom comes to the wedding but leaves early and everyone is like “wait, it turns out that we are all miserable jerks.” The next morning, Anne Hathaway heads back to the hospital but maybe now she has forgiven herself because you have to forgive yourself if you’re ever going to something something one day at a time.

If this movie was a song, it would be reggaeton remix of REM’s “Everybody Hurts.”

+

Seriously, look at these guys hurting:

Now, admittedly, everyone in this movie is completely awful. Anne Hathaway’s character is a self-absorbed, self-destructive pastiche of cliches about troubled upper-middle-class goth-faced drug addicts. Rachel, who is getting married, is haranguing, combative, and judgemental. Their father is painfully co-dependent. And their mother punched Anne Hathaway in the fucking face.

Then there is the elaborate and imposing MULTI-CULTURALISM of the wedding. Everything is Indian food this and reggae wedding band that, and aggressive cultural sensitivity. I mean, I know that it’s 2009 and Barack Obama, and I’m not even saying that there are not weddings like this. I’m just saying weddings like this are annoying and self-satisfied. Unless the bride and groom are getting matching “Hakuna Matata” tattoos on their foreheads, they need to relax. We’re not all trying to graduate with Masters in Ethnomusicology degrees.

You know, wedding stuff.

So the movie was kind of unpleasant to watch. Because the people were unpleasant. Having an unpleasant wedding with their unpleasant friends. Before going back to their unpleasant hospitals and their unpleasant shattered lives. And there were obviously lots of tricks to quickly establish the characters and their traumas. Anne Hathaway’s pain and suffering comes in the form of a black hoodie and too much eye makeup. A conveniently uncovered object belonging to the dead brother appears literally out of nowhere to set off a fresh round of misery.

But here’s the thing: people actually exist in cliches. And even if an emotional trigger is narrative manipulation, that doesn’t make the emotion less realistic. Because ultimately this movie seemed to have a lot of truth to it. I hated the people and their stupid wedding, but it all seemed believable and realistic. Sometimes people are awful. Sometimes weddings are annoying. IT’S LIFE, JUMP INTO LIFE. Personally I don’t care for Anne Hathaway, and I’m not sure she deserved an Oscar nomination for what was basically a slightly improved take on her role in Havoc. But Bill Irwin was really great as the father. And Mather Zickel from Reno 911! and Horrible People proved that he had dramatic chops. And Fab 5 Freddy.

The movie reminded me a lot of Margot at the Wedding. Both are unrelenting examinations of insufferable bourgeois families in New England whose preparations for a wedding at the old family home dredges up all of their neuroses filmed with a casual documentary aesthetic. But where Margot at the Wedding seemed condescending, oppressive, unilluminating, and overly pleased with its own intelligence (like so much cum smeared on the library books), Rachel Getting Married seem to be getting at someone’s idea of the truth. And even if it isn’t my idea of the truth, that is still fairly compelling.

And so, for the first time in The Hunt history, I declare that not only is this movie not the Worst Movie of All Time, but it’s not even a bad movie. I hereby clear it of all charges. CASE DISMISSED!

Next week: The Forgotten. As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. And if you haven’t done so already, please consult the Official Rules.

Comments (162)
  1. Uh oh, your vindication of this movie is going to set the Crankheads off again. Everyone duck!

  2. Just want to note that I saw a screener of Bored to Death and, if it were about 80 minutes longer, it would be the worst movie of all time. Woof.

  3. I wanted to see this since I heard Tunde from TV on the Radio was in it, but haven’t yet. This review is confuses that issue even more for me.

    • He’s in half the movie and has like three lines. He mostly stands there smiling. He’s got a great smile though!

    • Sorry so serious.. but Unknown Legend is a downright gorgeous song and I turned to butter when Tunde sang it. That said.. the wife-ish and I both agreed with Gabe on this movie.

  4. I very, very uncomfortable with the posting of a lonely, desperate girl’s YouTube karaoke as a joke. She’s on the verge of tears LOL!

  5. I felt this way about Catcher in the Rye. JD Salinger Awesome Book, Great Job! capturing the misanthropy of entitled teenagers.
    But i don’t like misanthropic entitled teenagers! And I fucking hate reading about them!

    • If you didn’t read Catcher in the Rye when you were a misanthropic entitled teenager, you missed the boat and I feel bad for you.

      • I was probably 14/15. But not self-indulgent enough to feel justified by holden.
        sure, i identified with him, but only to the extent that he embodied everything i hated about myself at that age: channeling his illusory disaffection and alienation into misanthropic whining, complaining, nonproductivity.
        what do young, intelligent, middle class, white, american males have to feel disaffected about? what kind of meaningful suffering or adversity have either of us ever encountered?
        to me, holden has always represented the worst kind of entitled self-indulgence. the embodiment of everything i shouldn’t be and of exactly how i shouldn’t view my place in the world.
        Great book. Does exactly what it ambitiously set out to do. But it read more like The Your A Terrible Person in the Rye.

        • I agree with almost all of those things, but I along with millions of others was self indulgent enough to pull some justification from that book. So I guess the only thing I disagree with is your first assertion. When i was a misanthropic entitled teenager I loved reading about them.

          • ouch. i didn’t mean to imply that everyone who enjoys Catcher and identifies with holden are/were self-indulgent misanthropes. but there it is.
            sorry, hlebtastic.
            let’s paint, exercise, and ignore the sloth with the yogurt cup on his head.

        • “what do young, intelligent, middle class, white, american males have to feel disaffected about?” Maybe the fact that they’re supposed to be super happy and content and everything’s supposed to come really easily for them and when they find themselves having moments of perfectly normal human sadness and fear and doubt, no one takes their pain seriously? Strong men also cry. PC, on the other hand…whatever pain he might experience in life is more than open for derision.

        • mathematician  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 +5

          Yeah, I would respectfully also add that this reasoning behind why Holden ‘shouldn’t’ feel upset about life, or discontented always makes me feel like emotions are somehow science experiements. Like, okay, so if a white, straight middleclass male has NO right to be sad, does that mean a black straight middle class male has the right to be 20% sadder? but no more, because the 21-40% bracket of sadness is available only to blacks who are also (but only) gay, poor or not male.

          • I apologize; perhaps I rant too vaguely.
            I don’t mean to imply that my pain, suffering and sadness (and those of others in my demographic) are undeserved, inconsequential, or unreal. They are very much real. They are very much consequential. They’re my feelings; I feel them, and I can’t help it.
            Yet, I can’t help but find them trivial. This may be a bit irrational, but i find myself thinking ‘who the hell am i to be unhappy/suffering?’ My gripes feel like the punchline of that louis ck joke, with me staring at my phone in disgust as my text takes a moment to get back from space.

            So yeah, sometimes i am dissatisfied and unhappy and sad. Which is fine. I’m entitled to feel these things, like anyone else.
            But i am unable to justify my dissatisfaction: I have never experienced any sort of misfortune; my life is charmed and entitled as hell – despite me, independent of me; I realize that I am in the process of living one of the most enviable, comfortable lives of anyone ever.
            I have every reason to be happy, and I can’t help but despise myself for being a wretched, ungrateful heel when i’m not.
            And it doesn’t even matter to me whether others find my suffering justifiable. It only matters whether I do. And for the most part, I don’t. Justification isn’t about demographics – as I unwittingly implied – it’s about relative suffering. And I’ve relatively suffered nothing at all.
            My issue with Catcher, then, is that holden represents, to me, a contemptible version of myself who finds life miserable and who isn’t big enough to hate himself for that (no emo).

            Anyway, I did not intend to project my struggle with the self-justification of my unhappiness onto the rest of you. Sorry.
            SERIOUSGUM OUT

          • DON’T fucking APOLOGIZE BECAUSE these guys TAKE THEIR BOOK way too seriously. You know WHO ELSE IS white, middle-class AND KNOWS how hard IT IS TO jump INTO LIFE? These GUYZ.t

            Seriously, THOUGH, when you’re fifteen all THAT PENT UP rage and WHATEVER IS FUCKING pointless, especially if YOU’RE WHITE. You may FEEL PAIN but that SHIT ISN’T anywhere NEAR AS bad as say WHAT A FUCKIN SOLDIER in Iraq has to DEAL WITH or–hell–ANYONE OF a different RACE!. Also, this BOOK HELPED kill John Lennon. FUCK THIS book.

          • Et tu patriot

          • I’m JUST SAYING PEOPLE need to CALM DOWN about the BOOK. It’s a classic AND WHATEVER, BUT it doesn’t give PERMISSION for people to whine or WHATEVER. Really, I’m too OLD TO care. It’s NOT LIKE I’m over HERE stabbing YOU UP AND DOWN AND all over man. IT’S GONNA be okay. BY THE way, I finally FOUND OUT what your picture IS OF, but I’ve SEEN IT SO long, I just ASSUMED IT was you.

          • Well, I do look pretty much like Charlie so its a pretty fair assumption to make.

          • It’s not about whether or not he has a “right” to be sad or not, but rather about how much we’re all collectively supposed to be invested in that sadness.

        • I read it around the same time, kinda hated it. Then I read it again and I just hated Holden. The third time (I am a slow learner) I just felt sorry for him. Now, Franny and Zooey, there’s a novel that captures exactly what disaffected upper middle class children of the intelligentsia are supposed to be justifiably miserable about!

  6. Thank you for that first paragraph. I’m not alone.

    • ha, we will never be alone. Family and friends will continue to assume that what we do is simply transcribe dinner conversations until forever.

  7. I am glad to end this Monday with some positivity. Thanks, Gabe. It is really nice to read an entry in TWMofAT and just see a movie with some flaws, but one that is not dismissible tripe.

    I will say that I was hoping for an Anne-Hathaway-punched-in-the-face GIF. :(

  8. I saw that this movie was in The Hunt and I came to this article and was all “Oh no he di’n't!” But then I read it and it turns out that you actually di’n't. So neat. The movie was unpleasant and stuff, but I was thoroughly satisfied with the mystery element of finding out why they all hate her, and then also the fact that it WAS a pretty good reason for everyone in your family to hate you.

    Also, this movie basically was a movie version of my teenage-self’s worst fear of what could possibly happen if I screwed up while baby sitting my brother. I guess a successfully realized nightmare is still a success.

  9. The movie was a wad of shit but I give it a couple points for the dishwasher loading scene and also Robyn Hitchcock showing up at the wedding.

  10. I’m glad we got this palate cleanser just before all of our souls are destroyed by the horrible nightmare that is The Forgotten. Never forget.

  11. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  12. Agreed. People are terrible, and that is what gives this film its verisimilitude. I appreciated that there wasn’t a quick and easy explanation as to why Kim is so fucked up–she had a drug problem before her brother died and the sexual abuse excuse ends up being a lie. No simple explanations here; she’s just a fuck-up.

    Also, Tunde Adebimpe’s a cappella Neil Young cover is (a heart of) gold.

  13. Norman Baits  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 +1

    Okay, good. I admit I was a little nervous when I saw you chose this movie. This review makes perfect sense, though. The movie DOES have the ingredients to make it the most pretentious, melodramatic piece of shit of all time…both somehow it works.

  14. i just made the mistake of watching gran torino this weekend. im such a zipperhead! i cannot wait for your WMOAT write up two weeks from now

    • Ha! I finally saw that too. The second half of Grand Torino is so bad… like Lifetime-TV-movie bad that I actually started feeling sorry for those involved.

  15. I have nothing to say but to register my disappointment that this movie is anywhere near the Hunt. If I had my druthers, it would have got an Oscar nod.

    Druthers.

  16. I was completely ready to never watch this movie. Then you said that Anne Hathaway gets punched in the face. Hello, Netflix.

  17. Matt  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 -10

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Well, he slammed Juno pretty hard about a year ago. http://tinyurl.com/mvq68q

    • UGH MY daughter watched THIS SHITFLICK, and it WAS painful. I mean, FOR ONE, THE chick is REALLY INTO Iggy Pop and OTHER SHIT THAT is generally pretty HARD. Then they fucking TWEE THE SHIT soundtrack UP! How does THAT MAKE sense?! It DOESN’T AND it just REPRESENTS HOW fucking LAZY that shitfest IS.

      What I’m saying IS I DON’T know why the fuck YOU ARE DOWNVOTED right now!

  18. I really love this movie and I also understand some of the criticisms thrown at it. I most appreciated the fact that in the end nothing is fixed, these people are still damaged, life goes on. However, the multicultural wedding bugged the shit out of my girlfriend.

    • Your girlfriend sounds awesome. Multiculturalism is the worst.

      • I guess I wrote that wrong. She didn’t like it in the same way Gabe didn’t.

        • It wasn’t that I disliked the multicultural aspect of the wedding scene, it was that the wedding scene was sooooo fucking long, seriously it was like half the movie, we get it, you’re getting married, we already knew that from the title, i don’t need 30 mins of people dancing to prove that. I still find this movie really bad, definitely not the worst, but worst hunt worthy anyways. Maybe its because Im not upper-middle class/ wealthy and from Conn. so I don’t relate, but after seeing this movie, I really don’t want to relate.

          • FUCK THAT multicultural wedding. The ONLY PEOPLE WHO do that KIND of thing are SELF-SATISFIED assholes WHO want to PAT THEMSELVES on their back: “Oh look, we HAVE A BLACK friend. How exotic!” Fuck people FROM Connecticut. Even when THEY’RE NOT rich, those PEOPLE are loaded.

          • Oh, I’m not saying it wasn’t annoying as shit, because it was, I was merely saying that it only really made me want to kill myself because of the length and not multicultural part, because I’m not a racist, I’m obviously way too cool to care about skin color, true Draper style.

          • THAT’S exactly WHAT A racist would SAY. We don’t know; WE HAVEN’T SEEN THE end of Season 3 YET THOUGH.

          • I love you patriot, but that is a completely inaccurate statement. A racist would say something about lynching, or try to oppress a kind elevator operator to find out the secrets of his television buying habits(*cough*cambell*cough*), instead of making a comment like mine, racists are not huge fans of satire like us monsters are.

          • MAYBE BUT what about A SUPER DUPER secret DOUBLE DOG racist?! HUH?! You don’t KNOW HOW one of THOSE would act!

  19. Though I must mention, one thing I did dislike about this movie is the whole “huge family secret implied then revealed for the climax”. Cause one that is a cheap tactic to evoke emotion at the proper. Two because it was used in Garden State.

    • Remember the big family trauma in Garden State was that Zach Braff had left the dishwasher open and his mom tripped over the door and died? If that happened really in really real life, that would be super sad and traumatizing, but someone — Zach Braff, in fact — sat down, thought that up to put in his movie, and, through rounds of editing, left it in and filmed it. A dishwasher door. Killing someone’s mom. Whoops, that’s your plot device!
      (Isn’t there a dishwasher-related thing in this movie too? I haven’t seen it, so I’ll reserve my judgment, but can we please leave kitchen-appliances-with-roles-in-major-plot-points out of movies from now on?)

  20. Well said, Gabe, regarding how this movie is a realistic examination of what amounts to liberal white ridiculousness. There’s a certain self-deprecating self-awareness about the potential over-the-top-ness of their multi-cultural wedding, especially when Anne Hathaway three-quarters through the movie more or less says, “Someone tell the musicians to shut the fuck up.” Lesson? We are Anne. We are not Tunde. We are never Tunde. No matter how hard we try we’ll never have the courage to sing a Neil Young song in place of our wedding vows. I know for a fact that 65% of the Rachel Getting Married’s audience thinks, “Maybe…” but just stop yourself there because it will never happen.

    • My friend Alex sang an original song to his bride and accompanied himself on acoustic guitar right before the exchange of rings. When he hit the first chord, it was painfully, woefully out of tune. Alex told me he looked down and saw that all of the tuning pegs had been adjusted to be perfectly parallel. Instead of retuning, he just soldiered on. Alex is not particularly accomplished at singing or guitar playing and I can only stare in slack-jawed admiration for his spirit. What would you do? Stop and retune, or just blaze on? (I would’ve retuned, personally.)

  21. I was so sad when I saw this was chosen for the Hunt. But thank you for seeing the error in your ways, Gabe.

  22. I thought Anne Hathaway was terrific. She was basically the one thing that tethered me to the movie during the dumb-chills moments during the rehearsal dinner (epically long) and actual wedding (even LONGER).

  23. I think I would have enjoyed this movie a lot more if the wedding sequence wasn’t the actual length of a real wedding. Although I was glad to see that Roger Corman attended.

    Time to once again suggest Running With Scissors for the hunt… although I can understand Gabe’s reluctance because it is soul-destroying and it would effectively end the hunt.

    • Are you kidding? Running With Scissors gets a pass solely for Brian Cox’s deadpan of “I’d like some slices of bologna.” Totally worth the two hours of bullshit that followed. You’ll still be laughing so hard at the bologna line that you won’t notice anyway.

  24. Thank you Gabe. Not for the review, but for sticking a video of Gasolina into the review. For two straight years, I heard that song roughly thirty times a day blasting from the cars, windows, and boom boxes of my neighbors, and recently, I had finally blocked it out of my memory. Well not anymore, jerk! Gasolina, la lala Gasolina! Damn you!

  25. The Daddy Yankee video looks like an only marginally polished version of an Ali G video.

    Haven’t seen this film and thanks for saving me the time and effort, Gabes. A lot of films are like this, where they are mostly okay but then have some incomprehensible plot twist, or one of the characters is supremely annoying or something which grates so hard on your mind you want to say it’s the WMOAT but you know it isn’t.

    In that last sense, there, I’d like to nominate “Babylon A.D.” It’s nowhere near the WMOAT but it has some plot holes that I truly cannot figure out. I mean, what happened!

    Can I say! I agree with you about Anne’s Oscar nod. What was that all about?

  26. Okay – I saw this in a theater and felt pretty ambivalent about most of both its praise and damnation (though I did clap and laugh out loud when Anne Hathaway asked when the musicians were going to shut the fuck up), but I honestly don’t remember the following things happening:
    1. Anne Hathaway bleeding milk like Ian Holm’s robnot character in ALIEN
    2. The wedding guests including either aging Vegas showgirls or background characters from a Stolichnaya advert.
    3. Mannequins in traditional gypsy folk-attire backing up Fab 5 Freddy

    Videogum, I am learning to re-learn cinema through you. Thanks!

  27. so glad about the twist in the review…one of the better movies of the year in my opinion. bill irwin should have won over kate winslet totz.

  28. Okay – I saw this in a theater and felt pretty ambivalent about most of both its praise and damnation (though I did clap and laugh out loud when Anne Hathaway asked when the musicians were going to shut the fuck up), but I honestly don’t remember the following things happening:
    1. Anne Hathaway bleeding milk like Ian Holm’s robnot character in ALIEN
    2. The wedding guests including either aging Vegas showgirls or background characters from a Stolichnaya advert.
    3. Mannequins in traditional gypsy folk-attire backing up Fab 5 Freddy

    Videogum, I am learning to re-learn cinema through you. Thanks!

  29. Um, robot. Apologies for all the spelling and punctuation misfires above.

    And I loved, loved, loved Rosemarie DeWitt in this. They need to get her back on MAD MEN, stat.

  30. So much stuff to agree with in this review. Stacks, Well done on the balance. It would have been easy to just lay on the snark all day.
    Now would anyone like to fight my avatar? Put em up, jerks.

  31. Hello Everyone  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  32. Hello Everyone  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • I’ll take that suggestion to the next level for you and say “Guess Who” starring Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac.

      I’m gonna go new for mine and say “Terminator Salvation”.

      I don’t know if anyone other than me was stupid enough to see that movie, but it is the worst. Holy shit. Not to nerd-out on everyone here: T3 wasn’t great, but at least the ending laid the foundation for some good things to happen with continuing the mythology.

      But McG fucking Matrix: Revolutioned (it’s an adjective in the dictionary- look it up) the entire franchise with this film. There is no salvaging this thing. The sci-fi franchise that brought us special effects that made our eyeballs cum on our faces in 1991 (two years before Jurassic Park bent our eyeballs over the non-stadium style movie theater seats and did them Monica Bellucci “Irreversible” style) is dead because of this film. Is it the worst movie ever? I don’t know. But it’s pretty fucking unbearably bad.

      It doesn’t look like it ended McG’s career. So something good must come out of it and I’m hoping that “something” will be a WMOAT review.

  33. UNSUBSCRIBE

  34. A Grown Adult Who Is Not AfraId To Admit It  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 -21

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  35. Duder  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 -14

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  36. OMG you guys and the dude from TV on the Radio is in it!

    My ex-girlfriend-who-we-were-trying-to-reconnect-as-friends-because-of-maturity made me watch this. I made it about 7 hours into the rehearsal dinner scene and then ran out of the apartment screaming.

  37. the camera work made me sicker than cloverfield. luckily i walked out post-face punch, otherwise it would have been a complete waste of time.

  38. I really had a number of problems with this movie, and almost all of them are screenplay/plot-based. I did think Anne Hathaway did a really great job, considering what she had to work with, though. There are a lot of similarities between this and every other “rich white people problem” movies, but the thing that annoys me the most is that it pretends it is a very smart, deep indie film.

    But? these monsters need to calm down.

  39. This movie is not your life, people. you are better than this movie.

  40. So I won’t lie, I didn’t read past the first paragraph and a half because I haven’t seen this movie, but I DID start the REM cover and finish scrolling through and it was kind of perfect.

  41. Freckles  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 +7

    I am worse than this movie.

  42. ashley  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 -3

    oh boy, i really wish you had hated this movie, Gabe. even IF it is getting at someone’s version of their truth, it is still nearly pointless and it buries any semblance of that truth under 500 years of multicultural dancing displays and awkward toast scenes. pitiful. Then again, if you had said you hated this movie, then you’d get ripped apart by all the people who like it… so i guess you’re between a rock and a frickin terrible movie. yikes.

  43. I saw this movie when I was pregnant, and the aggressive camera work (look! how INDIE!) made me leave for fear of illness during the wedding scene. This was during the third or fourth “look at all our friends, with their different races and socio-economic backgrounds and hygiene standards, all dancing together!” musical montage, but they were still outside, before the Vegas showgirls tent. For the longest time I thought, well I must have seen practically all of it, I mean by the time I left, Rachel HAD GOTTEN MARRIED. But no. There was apparently quite a bit more.

  44. Playing the REM song and the reggaeton song at the same time is a very interesting effect.

  45. Yeah, I suffered through this on a Netflix rental a couple of weeks back. And yes, suffer is the operative word. Thanks for making me laugh at my own suffering.

  46. “It is seriously like a college campus student committee event on the quad to celebrate diversity.”

    Real Talk.

  47. I LOVE Mather Zickel. Other than the way too long wedding reception, I really liked this movie. So, hooray! Not the WMOAT!

  48. Has the Hunt ever included a horrible sports movie? I feel like there are dozens of them over the past decade and a half… And I know there is a rule against sequels and remakes, but if there ever should be an exception to that rule the Rocky films would be an interesting study.

  49. (like so much cum smeared on the library books) From now on, this should officially be the only way to refer to The Squid and the Whale.

  50. bleyde  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 +1

    Please include Factory Girl in the next round of the Hunt. Worst movie. Seriously.

  51. TC  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 +2

    That scene in the salon where the girls are getting their hair done is undoubtedly one of the worse scenes I’ve ever watched. They randomly run into a guy who was in the hospital with her? And not only that, but this guy magically knows her “anonymous” secret from the hospital, and decides to repeat it back to her out loud in public so that EVERYONE ELSE can hear it? And somehow this lie – which didn’t even seen that terrible with the other shit Hathaway had pulled – pissed the sister off even more than the whole DEAD BROTHER thing seemed to bother her! That entire sequence was ridiculously impossible to believe, and I pretty much checked out at that point.

  52. Everyone should re-read this post while listening to Gasolina.

  53. Shaz  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 -2

    God, I hated this pseudo, insufferable, melodramatic, piece of shit SO much! Everything about it was contrived. It was shot as if someone just discovered Dogme95! And that forced pseudo we-are-the-children-of-the-world bullshit nearly drove me up the wall.

    I’d rather watch Festen or Monsoon Wedding ANYDAY – two movies which probably ‘inspired’ it.

  54. Every week I nominate the same movie: A Walk to Remember.

  55. I though this movie was like a successful “The Family Stone”(which actually is the worst movie of all time), or a (slightly) less caricatured Noah Baumbach film, where people are less prone to poop themselves in the woods. Between these movies and similar fair (i.e. Dan in Real Life) i think we can all agree that affluent white people on the eastern seaboard comprise the most boring, insipid, and self-important strain of humanity, known to man, on the face of the earth.

    Also; WTF with the dad NOT being gay!?!?!!?

  56. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  57. StuffandThings  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 -8

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  58. faas  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 0

    While i don’t agree with the sarcastic tone in ‘being white is hard’, (because, come on, too easy) I do agree that this movie basically sucked while still having many redeeming qualities. Obviously Anne Hathaway shouldn’t have been up for an Academy Award for this. I mean, we can all act like the kid who’s on his/her way home from detention (forever), but that doesn’t mean anyone wants to see or hear it. What this movie does bring is a good visual aesthetic to what a really cool wedding could be like if Anne Hathaway wasn’t barfing all over the place.

  59. faas  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 0

    While i don’t agree with the sarcastic tone in ‘being white is hard’, (because, come on, too easy) I do agree that this movie basically sucked while still having many redeeming qualities. Obviously Anne Hathaway shouldn’t have been up for an Academy Award for this. I mean, we can all act like the kid who’s on his/her way home from detention (forever), but that doesn’t mean anyone wants to see or hear it. What this movie does bring is a good visual aesthetic to what a really cool wedding could be like if Anne Hathaway wasn’t barfing all over the place.

  60. In secondary school in Queensland, Australia the syllabus is all about author choices – how do author choices position readers/viewers to accept certain beliefs/values/practices. For example an exam question might read: The director of a dramtic film has cast the lead singer of TV on the Radio in a cameo role. What’s up with that? (100-200 words). NB – Easy marks

  61. freckliz  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 0

    I can’t believe only one of you has commented on the *amazing* dishwasher scene. Who wouldn’t want to watch, real-time, an entire dishwasher being filled, not once, but TWICE! With the whole family looking on in awe, you would think that this was some amazing part of the story. Turns out the whole scene is just so the “happy family” can find the dead baby brother’s plate in the cupboard and scatter. Worst 2 hours of my life.

  62. Please do “Chasing Amy” – Kevin Smith’s most misogynistic, homophobic, juvenile movie ever, and that includes J&SB Strike Back.

  63. MeeMee  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 +2

    WRONG! FALSE! Just because something may have a bit of truth to it doesn’t make it compelling or enjoyable to watch. Rachel Getting Married was a terrible movie. Ditto to what Shaz said.

  64. Mel  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 0

    The only one who came out of Rachel Getting Married as a winner was the standard poodle.

  65. I didn’t like this movie.

  66. I would like to formally re-nominate The Knowing and Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula.

  67. Boooo! I can’t agree with you on this one. My favorite part of the movie was “The Great Dishwasher Race of 2008.” Not only were we blessed with watching someone load dishes into a dishwasher, but we had the privilege of seeing a crowd of people watching the unloading and reloading of the same dishes!!!

  68. saucy  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 0

    Isn’t there a school of thought that any story without a likable character is a failed story? Or at least without a relatable character? Seems like that’s the problem with this movie for most of the people (myself included) who disliked it. I suppose there’s redeeming value in its truth-telling, but it seems limited in the face of all the unpleasantness.

  69. Oh no, that reggaeton song sent me right back to New Jersey.
    DAMN YOUUUUUUUUSE!

  70. Can I nominate Frankenstein (the one directed by Kenneth Branagh)? It had many lol

  71. Gadge  |   Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 0

    I’m happy enough with this review, because I really liked this movie. So to be the first to be dismissed from the challenge, I call awesome!

    But to bring it down to reality. ‘Lake Placid’. Or ‘All About the Guy’. Or ‘Cold Mountain’ – which is one of the few movies I couldn’t at least finish. All full of hideousness.

  72. stephen donoway  |   Posted on Sep 16th, 2009 0

    has anyone seen Jump Tomorrow with Tunde Adebimpe? He plays the same character.

  73. has anyone seen Jump Tomorrow with Tunde Adebimpe? He plays the same character. It’s this movie from his perspective actually.

    *I posted the last comment, but tried to stop it so I could register first. Oops

  74. I’m surprised that “Australia” has not been covered yet. One of the worst blockbuster movies I’ve seen in a long time.

  75. I nominate Color of Night starring Bruce Willis with hair and the headshot he picked out.

    • Color of Night  |   Posted on Sep 17th, 2009 0

      Sure-sure, Color of Night is the worst movie of all time. You could indict a ham sandwich, and acquit Anne Hathaway, but this dreck is going to get eleventy simultaneous death penalties. Now excuse me while I go watch The Lover, where Jane March actually seemed sexy.

      Color of Night is the worst. Review it, throw up a lot, then get back to us.

  76. Freckles  |   Posted on Sep 16th, 2009 0

    Since Gabe decided that Rachel Getting Married is not the worst movie of all time I hope he will take back all the nasty things he wrote about Caligula as well.

  77. QWERT  |   Posted on Sep 16th, 2009 0

    WOW, I feel so let down by this review!

    “Rachel Getting Married seem to be getting at someone’s idea of the truth. And even if it isn’t my idea of the truth, that is still fairly compelling.”

    Not much of a great defense, really… a film’s getting at someone’s idea of the truth is a sufficient condition for it to be at least somewhat compelling, and consequently, not a bad film? what if that person’s (I.e. the film maker etc.) understanding if boring, flat, derivative, illogical, unmoving? See, I’d figure that would matter…

    And I like how everyone defends the movie on how REAL it is. There?s no structured plot, scenes are long and pointless because that?s like REAL life! The characters are boring and derivative just like REAL people. Haha?a person who didn?t like the movie can?t win – even when I point how the movie is filled with contrived scenes and forced dialogue, the film?s defenders respond, ?well, people in REAL life are just like that! real people are cliched, too!?

    Thanks for the education.

    But fine whatever, suppose we grant that bullshit – the point remains that this movie isn’t even – NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY – aware that it’s about characters who are walking clichés working their way through their contrived problems and cliché story archs. Instead, it thinks it?s characters are complicated, gritty. But the thing is that their complications are stupid, banal, and again, cliché. The way this movie thinks it?s real and genuine is what makes is STINK so very badly. It?s basically a turd dressed in a tux.

  78. Joe  |   Posted on Sep 16th, 2009 +4

    While I appreciate the review, I think it misses the reasons for the extreme multiculturalness of the wedding (which was the same reason the rehearsal dinner scene was so long). For me it worked because for the liberal elite audience of the movie the wedding was the dream one – many, many wonderful, heartfelt toasts from family and friends; love overcoming social boundaries; creative artsy types doing their thing and so on. It was an over-the-top amazing party with both heart and hedonism and even still the family is so self-absorbed and narcissistic that they can’t enjoy it. And if they can’t enjoy this wedding, what wedding can they enjoy? And that’s the point, that’s why its so extreme.

    In many ways what I found great about this movie was that it wasn’t a ‘oh, these poor rich white people have it so hard’ but also didn’t devolve into a Sam Mendes ‘American Beautry’ like evisceration of the middle-class. That’s a really tough line to walk – you feel sympathy for the family but find little redeeming about them their inability to find joy in something as incredibly joyful as this wedding. You recognize they have real problems, but that those problems are ones of self-absorption.

    • FlimFlam  |   Posted on Sep 21st, 2009 +1

      Nice. I agree.
      The film is about what it is about. Calling into question the subject matter is pretty silly. I think there is plenty of validity in making a film about these types of people. They exist right?

      I really just wanted add that the way it was shot (looking almost like a wedding video) helps the film acheive the tone you speak of. The film just asks you to see these people as they struggle through a alternately amazing and terrible couple of days. The film is shot, written and performed in a way that makes no effort to try to make you fall in love with these characters or feel sorry for them. However, they aren’t evil charicatures either.
      The movie does a good job as painting this family in shades of grey.

  79. Glamour_Cookie  |   Posted on Sep 17th, 2009 0

    Will The Notebook be your next review for WMOAT? It’s a tryhard, predictable romance – the characters are guaranteed to annoy! And people also think the movie really is romantic! It’s not.

  80. When I watched this movie I really liked it. But now I’m wondering if I was too distracted by all the entertaining smaller pieces (for instance, I was really in to the rehearsal dinner speeches) and maybe I failed to recognize the emptiness at this movie’s core?

    I don’t know. But what I do know is this movie needs a better title. If you screened this movie for 100 people and asked them to name it, I guarantee none would come up with any title involving the name Rachel. Yes, it’s her wedding, but so what? Even a generic title like, “The Wedding Fiasco” would’ve been more appropriate.

    • bagu!  |   Posted on Sep 17th, 2009 0

      yeah maybe, but “The Wedding Fiasco” is just silly.

      • Yeah. Good point. The wedding actually goes pretty smoothly. So really my title was even worse than the original. Ugh.

      • Here’s an idea. Instead of changing the title, what if the writers actually wrote a story about Rachel as a main character getting married? Maybe tell the story from her point-of-view? Perhaps under those circumstances the title would be relevant.

  81. bagu!  |   Posted on Sep 17th, 2009 0

    yeah maybe, but “The Wedding Fiasco” is just silly.

  82. Bored white people at boring white weddings. What ever. Too cool for school hipsters who are like ‘I think we’ll be seeing some good stuff from Hathaway down the line’. Whomsoever. Howsoever. Whatsoever.
    Only one of us was not kidding around in this forum. And that rabbit is me. Now will somebody please look me in the eye and just put up dem dukes?

  83. Bert Albermarle  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2009 0

    Two words: Hollow Man. Saw it in the theater and was surprised at how bad it was. Maybe it was just my 15 year old brain’s skewed sense of reality (and now-inexplicable hope that it would be awesome), but I remember this movie getting decent or at least mixerd reviews at the time. Also was nominated for an Oscar, if that helps.

  84. coralation  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2009 0

    I nominate FUNNY PEOPLE. Please, please do Funny People. It could possibly win the award for the most misleading title ever.
    Nothing about the movie was funny, and the storyline changes completely like, halfway through the movie. See for yourself and you will agree.

  85. Ert Balbermarble  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2009 0

    An update on Hollow Man: as it turns out the decent reviews I remember from my youth may have been due to the fact that the movie received its strongest praise from “David Manning,” the film critic who turned out to not be a film critic at all, or even a real person–he was a ficiticious reviewer devised by Sony to give bad Columbia Pictures movies good reviews (other Manning raves: The Animal (Rob Schneider), A Knights Tale, Vertical Limit….well, you get the idea). The scandal was later exposed and Sony actually had to pay $1.5 million in a settlement to people who saw these and other awful films based on Manning reviews. Anyway, dunno if this helps or hurts HM’s chances of getting on this list, but a funny story nonetheless, since it proves that the company knew these movies were bad from day one. Not sure if its the worst movie ever made, but with an invisible Kevin Bacon driving around eating Twinkies and raping people, it’s gotta be a contender.

  86. elie  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2009 +1

    She killed her brother. By everyone’s logic, she would have had more right to suffer if she was black or mexican right?

    • FlimFlam  |   Posted on Sep 21st, 2009 +1

      This is what I was thinking.
      Sure, the film have some good performances and was shot well, but we are going to make fun of a film because there are other people out there who have suffered more? This is a pretty bullshit assesment of a decent film.
      As for the wedding, I thought it was cool. I would have liked to have been at that wedding. Its funny such a “white guilt” laden review would accuse the film of trying too hard to be all-inclusive.
      Funny me, I thought that the groom was a black musician? It looked like the bride’s father (judging by the decor of the house and his interactions with the bands) was involved in music somehow? Maybe that explains why the wedding was full of non-white musicians? Maybe the wedding being an interesting non-traditional one helps justify filming it?

      Not the best film ever, but certainly not worth trying to force some comedy from. If anything, my only problem was the plot being a bit too over the top.
      I’m assuming Gabe loathes the Ice Harvest eh?

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