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This guy is your boyfriend. No clever jokes. No funny stories. Plain and simple: this is the guy who you date and are in love with. You want to spend the rest of your life with him. You are trying to find an appropriate time for him to meet your parents. On your birthday and other holidays, you would rather spend it just with him. He’s not just your lover, he is your best friend. Your confidante. Your rock. You can’t imagine your life without him, and you can’t remember your life before him. XOXO, that is how you end emails to him. One time you even wrote him a love letter, like on paper, even though people don’t do that anymore. You have had other boyfriends in the past, true, but this is your boyfriend now. For real. I can’t stress this enough: you guys date. Probably forever. Definitely forever.
Oh, and the guy in the background? With the sunglasses? And no shirt? Just pacing around in the background like what? Also your boyfriend. (Via Joe Mande.)
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How a young Frank Sobotka dealt with complex union negotiations.
Alright Frank.
Rotary5ive
“next time I come up there…I’m gonna read goodnight moon, curl up in an afghan, see where things go. POP UP IN? THIS SHIZ MUTHAFUCKA”
Don’t you mean New Moon?
The Happening has been so detrimental to Mark Wahlberg’s career that he has been reduced to standing in the background of youtube videos in Marky Mark character.
Poor guy
I met him once he told me he lives by the simple phrase, “American by birth, rebel by choice.” Then he took my bed.
PAH!
I feel bad for Nick.
Can you even imagine being a Dean or an RA in the Boston area right now?
The whole city is basically on lock down. It’s chaos outside. People are putting their enemy’s names on school dean rosters, every drop of patron is being poured down toilets, and everyone named nick no longer has a room mate.
I’d be more worried about the professiz.
He’s more of an F.B.
He’s planning on stealing this guy’s roommate’s bed? Huh.
I can’t wait for the lovin’ to start. Brutal, aggressive, totally heterosexual ass fucking between two beautiful men.
It’s called Mixed Martial Arts Fighting
TRUTH.
It’s just two men celebrating each other’s strength.
You would think he would be drinking out of cups instead of a Gatorade bottle.
Why was he drinking patron? Is that like super intimidating in asshole culture. If he wanted to scare the guy he should have just told him he’d fuck him till he loved him, and then called him a faggot. Guidos never know how to intimidate.
Les-bi-anist.
How exactly would there guys get money? I’m thinking probably prostitution. These guys are some of the toughest male prostitutes you’ve ever met.
The stripper in the back had some moves, they had to cut the camera so he gets his moneys worth.
I love my boyfriend. He even listens to black people’s music, because he just ‘rolls like that,’ as he likes to say (he is always saying that). We’re going to do that dance to Chris Brown’s “Forever” at our wedding.
Is…this how the kids are doing it nowadays? Self-recorded Youtube threats with your muscley half naked friend in the background? Huh.
Cut to later that night:
This guy is too sexy for his shirt.
But not my grandmas blue-blockers.
They make everything look so separated.
Oh, he’s totally my boyfriend. I just want to kiss him on the mouth!
If only he had the haircut of ADULTRY AND ASSHOLENESS.
So I guess not everyone had a great time at the Gathering
THE GUIDO BEACH TAG!!! Gabe, you do care. And here i thought you were but a relative stranger with whom i indirectly interact by haunting your day-job.
Great new avatar. Slothinabox! They look happy no matter what.
NICE choice in avatars, Constantinople!! Look at that little dude. Just sittin’. In a box. Smilin’.
I wish I was a sloth because I would never not be happy.
I’m really confused as to what the hell kind of accent this guy has. Bahston? Floridian? What?
That is straight-up Bensonhurst. I’ve met plenty of guys like this, they grow like weeds there.
My grandparents live in Bensonhurst. But the uber-Jewish part, not the Italian part. So I guess that makes sense.
Some people just need to realize the value of a sternly spoken “Have fun at dinner.”
He’s gonna fuck him [Nick] until he [Nick} loves him [Frank].
He says he “does this shit for a living”
Who pays people to travel to Boston,take people`s beds(?) and “smack a couple of teachers,professors,the fucking R.A`s,the dean”?
Answer:your boyfriend`s employer.
“I just peed my pants.” – Nick
I’ve seen this behavior before, but only demonnstrated in jest. “No disrespect, but um… do you date me? Because you’re very beautiful.”
“I get shit done” is very similar to Nick Kroll’s “Johnny Do. We call him that because he always DOES… God willing.”
This guy is the real life embodiment of a type I laugh at online and on TV but am grateful to have never met. I feel like an antropologist.
I’m the guy he’s talking to, and I’m fucking scared.
“Ok, I’m going to say threatening things between swigs of this apple juice I put in a glass tumbler. Then, when I give you the signal, press play on the casio boombox. And make sure it’s cued up on the right song, not Party In The USA. Which is great, don’t get me wrong.”
I say, dear fellow, Would you care for a straw to put in your Patrón bottle?
We Are All Nick.
Next time I get into some verbal fisticuffs with someone I am going to be torn between telling them I will fuck their ass till they love me or steal their roommate’s bed and sleep beside them. Forget it, I will split the difference and fuck their roommate till they love sleeping beside me. Then they will know how bad ass I am.
I nominate this for comment of the week
The gentleman in the back is truly in the vein of a young Jizz Wahlberg.
I signed up for an account after months of lurking just so I could say how excited I am to see the Guido Beach tag again.
I remember my first beer…
Can we just, like, insert that sunglasses dude into the background of everyone’s youtube blogs?
INCLUDING YOU NICK
Yes! Let’s!
DORM ROOM!
I wonder if the dude in the sunglasses behind him is Nick and thats why he is just smirking with his shirt off waiting for Frank to finish and turn around. About half way though he gives up and turns the radio on instead.
I wish the radio could have been playing a Friendly’s ad when he turned it on.
Something tells me my boyfriend isn’t carrying the fire.
I get money, Nick! Don’t fuck with me! I’m scheduled for like 32 hours this week! One more month of that and I’m muthafucking Geek Squad! I get shit done, Nick!
oh make sweet, sweet love to me
the guy in the background? he’s my boyfriend’s boyfriend. they will be sharing that dorm bed.
This guy runs new york.
And by new york I mean providence place mall.
(Local jokes, trust.)
30 minutes after watching this, I received a free sample of puke green Axe Body Wash in my mailbox. Coincidence? I think not.
Not to be professor Tequila here, but Patron doesn’t come in handle form. Also, it’s white, not yellow. Who knows what he is drinking. Water and stevia, maybe.
I thought he said all he drinks is petrol. It would explain why he looks like he’s about to die after every sip.
Sorry Professor Tequila, I’m going to have to take away your tenure for that one. Patron comes in a number of varieties, one of them gold. That is also a 750ml bottle.
Stripped of my tenure! Ah well, credit where credit is due. I’ve seen many colors, but never the gold. There is much I have yet to experience of the world.
i dunno, i live in eastie and i think that guy is my neighbor. on both sides, and across the street.
I wanna see this guy and Dan Quinn in a naked cage fight to the death. If enough of us sign a petition can we make this happen?
America is such a melting pot! Guidos who drink Patron and listen to rap and want to slap your teachers and fuck you until you love them! (?) also, I think he woke that guy up in the background, he is still wearing his sleep mask.
Sigh. He….he promised me he would stop making these videos as an engagement present.
According to the Transitive Property of Equality: if I hate Frank, and Frank hates Nick, then I must like Nick for pissing off Frank. I also hate Patron and like “Milla Light” and “fuckin’ Natty Ice”.
“I knew I shouldn’t have let Nick touch my boob.”
- Me, 13-years-old
“I’m gonna sleep in your dorm room”
I get that money, just not enough to spring for a hotel room.
Umm… did Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton hold a press conference ok’ing douche bag white guys to use the “N-word?”
You know, sometimes, being a married mom of 4, I pine for the days of my youth when I was care-free. Then I see videos like this, and I cling to my husband and kids and thank God I’m not out there, on “the scene”. Because I probably would have dated someone like this at some point, and been full of self-loathing forever. Thanks, Videogum! The more you know…
i think we just found the Gay Mafia everyone always talks about.
Nick Cannon? I hate that guy too, so this is understandable.
Wow. Here in the UK we don’t have Patron, or maybe we do and I don’t know what it is, but I thought he said petroleum, which made this even more disturbing/hilarious. LOTS OF LOVE!!1!
As I was watching this, I thought, oh, here we go another wonderful deuchebag. But, now a Butter Pecan Deuchebag!??!?!!? OHH NO!!!!