Photos
Uh…from the New York Post:
Jon Gosselin, Kevin Federline and Michael Lohan were in talks to live together and be filmed round-the-clock for a reality show, “The Divorced Dads’ Club.” But, as Page Six reported last month, Gosselin pulled out after TLC threatened to sue because his contract ties him to “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ for two more years. And K-Fed, Britney Spears’ ex, landed his own reality show with girlfriend Victoria Prince, leaving Lohan talking to disgraced MLB slugger Jose Canseco and ex-NY Jets star Mark Gastineau, among others. Mike Heller, whose Talent Resources is developing the show with Lohan, told us that since Gosselin is out, “We are talking with other divorced dads. The idea would be to tell the man’s side of the divorce, and the mistakes they’ve made, such as — I never should have brought that girl home.” Advice Jon could have used.
Can you imagine? CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE? It’s like, you remember at the end of Deep Impact, when the asteroid hits Earth, and massive tidal waves rush over America’s cities and it appears that all is lost, but then Elijah Wood just runs up a hill really fast and it turns out that in order to survive you didn’t need to go into government-controlled Disaster Caves, all you needed to do was run up a hill fast and be on top of a hill? That’s us! We’re on top of that hill! Phew, we made it.
The only thing more depressing than a reality show called The Divorced Dad’s Club starring three of the most ridiculous garbage clowns in the world is the one garbage clown (Michael Lohan) being unable to let the idea go once it falls apart. Oh God. The mental image of him going door-to-door, hat in hand, to other ridiculous semi-famous people who have been divorced trying to stir up some interest in his nightmare project is almost heart-breaking. Almost. Remember when he hit someone in the head with a shoe because he had a brown belt in tae-kwon do? I do. I remember.
Man. I thought we could have a funtimes party game where we came up with a worse, more disastrous casts of Walking Human Failure than Jon Gosselin, Kevin Federline, and Michael Lohan, but I actually don’t think it’s possible. Like, who? Danny Bonaduce? He’s just a ginger Michael Lohan. It’s a push. There is seriously nothing worse than this. Isn’t that right, Lord Voldemort?
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Way to spoil Deep Impact for the rest of us, Gabe.
Definitely needed a spoiler alert. Not all of us have time to watch every new movie. I’m just catching up on 1998 now. I’ve heard great things about Chairman of the Board. Please don’t ruin the ending for me.
it’s spelled B-O-R-E-D
SPOILER ALERT: The killer is Carrot Top!
Dear Diary,
My feel-good moment of the day came when I made my first Videogum post and got upvoted and commented on! I guess we all just want to be loved. Maybe tomorrow I’ll even register?
Love,
JGriz
Gabe’s spoiler reminds of that classic moment in “Men Who Stare At Goats” where Kevin Spacey’s character is all like “Congratulations, Scottie. I’m sorry it doesn’t work out between the two of you,” at the guy’s WEDDING (how does he know what’ll happen in the future!??!?! SO FUNNY/SCARY!).
Um, okay, sirrrr. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named could not be on this show! He is not divorced. He’s too evil to ever get married! The thing between him and Bellatrix is implied in the movies, but that’s not in the books! He is just evil. Maybe you should try cracking open one of the Harry Potter books and you’d know. They are the best books ever, and I know you’ll love them! ^_^
good point! I’m going to nominate future-Harry-Potter. In 15 years he’ll be washed up and divorced with kfed’s body, JG’s wolverine receding haircut and Lohan’s waderobe. Excellent fit.
Click here to glimpse Harry Potter’s future:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1755563
CollegeHumor’s Harry Potter and the Midlife Crisis.
Twilight.
Harry Potter.
Tucker Max.
Asher Roth.
These are apparently the only thing Google Alerts are used for.
CAN I imagine WHAT would HAPPEN IF THIS show was real? Hell yes I CAN DO JUST that.
“As soon as the television came on the world melted. Cities fell into oceans of fire. Humanity was reduced to warring clans of cannibals. Scavenging beasts picked over the wreckage of human society, but not for long, as the sky soon turned to black, the sun itself blotted out. And then it was all gone.”
THE LAST Account OF Man by Gabriel DELAHAYE
You know he wouldn’t miss an episode.
Michael Lohan is on the phone with treasury secretary Timothy Geithner in the picture above
I hope Timothy is also wearing a mesh shirt. Hello Nipples!!!
When did K-Fed turn into Over-Fed?
ZING!! That was borderline WWTDD, but still very funny.
When he decided he was going to be prepared to star in a movie about Whitey Ford.
I’m pretty sure this is the unholy trinity that signaling the end of the world. Something something Book of Revelations something something deadbeat douchebags something something trifecta converges something something apocalypse triggered.
That’s how I remember it. We dodged a bullet here, people.
no philander-o
Did Michael Lohan steal Gabe’s shirt?
“Run to the hills. Run for your life.”
-Iron Maiden
\m/
=w=
?
=w==w=
Oh, I see.
=w==w==w=
We’ll now you’re just being unreasonable.
=w==w==w==w=
You good sir, are a menace.
You are obviously dealing with four different people, because they have distinct, though similar, usernames.
=w==w==w==w==w=
Weezer?
dingdingdingding
First time Jon Gosselin has pulled out of anything.
Heyoooooooooo
if they had the original cast….the goodfellas if you will….(they are not goodfellas)….then i think the internets might explode…yes….internets is plural…
JON IS AN ASSHOLE! HE SHOULD BE IN NOTHING. IT IS TERRIBLE THAT HE’D LEAVE HIS WIFE AND 8 KIDS WHEN THEY NEED HIM MOST. I PRAY HE GETS WHAT COMES HIS WAY BECAUSE HE IS DOWNRIGHT MEAN AND TRASH AND GROSS. NO ONE WILL EVER WANT TO BE WITH HIM AGAIN WHILE KATE IS SURE TO GET SOME HOT GUYS. JON YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE AND AT SOME POINT YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF FOR BEING SUCH A BASTARD IF YOU DONT YOU HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEMS I HOPE YOU GO TO HELL BUT ONLY IF YOU DONT MAKE UP FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND THE HURT YOU HAVE CAUSED SO MANY JON MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION AND TRY TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT DONT BE AN ASSHOLE FOREVER!
Looks like someone ate their caps lock key for breakfast.
Kate has a stupid haircut.
*waiting*
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BUT HER HAIRCUT IS SEXY IT IS THE HOTTEST THING TO COME OUT OF AMERICA IN AW HILE AND NOT ONLY IS IT SEXY BUT IT IS TRUE IT IS A MIDDLE AMERICA REAL WOMAN HAIRCUT IT SHOWS THAT SHES A REAL WOMAN NOT LIKE HER ASSHOLE EXHUSBAND JON I JUST WISH HE WOULD GET HIT BY A TRUCK NOW IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO HAS HORRIBLE HAIR IT IS JON BECAUSE HIS HAIR REPRESENTS ADULTRY AND ASSHOLENESS AND THATS NOT GOOD ALSO YOU ARE WRONG IF YOU THINK PEOPLE DONT LIKE HER HAIR THEY DO LOTS OF PEOPLE WANT HAIR LIKE HERS BECAUSE IT IS BOTH EDGY CLASSY AND REFRESHING UNLIKE JON WHO IS JUST AS REFRESHING GAS BAGS OF GARBAGE HE DOESNT EVEN DESERVE KATE AND NONE OF YOU GUYS DEFINITELY DO IF YOU THINK HER HAIR IS BAD YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO HAIRCARE SCHOOL AND LEARN A THING OR TWO.
teamkate – did you know you can make the text bold and italic too?
dammit, you are a troll. I am disappoint.
I AM NOT A TROLL IF YOU THINK I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT KATE YOU ARE DEAD WRONG
I AM NOT A TROLL IF YOU THINK I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT KATE YOU ARE DEAD WRONG
I AM NOT A TROLL IF YOU THINK I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT KATE YOU ARE DEAD WRONG
I AM NOT A TROLL IF YOU THINK I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT KATE YOU ARE DEAD WRONG
I think you don’t actually care about Kate.
I AM NOT A TROLL IF YOU THINK I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT KATE YOU ARE DEAD WRONG
she’s a talker.
If you can plow through the parade of caps words, there are some precious laughs to be found here! Take this description of Jon’s hairdo: “HIS HAIR REPRESENTS ADULTRY AND ASSHOLENESS AND THATS NOT GOOD”
seriously! there was some good stuff in there!
IF YOU THINK HER HAIR IS BAD YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO HAIRCARE SCHOOL AND LEARN A THING OR TWO. <—have fun at dinner, go back to haircare school, you say toMAYto, i say toMAHto.
seriously, though. let’s call the whole thing off.
I failed out of haircare school.
What is this Jezebel?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH JEZEBEL THAT SITE KNOWS WHAT ISSUES ARE FACING US WOMEN TODAY JUST BECAUSE YOU MAY THINK FEMINISM IS DEAD DOES NOT MEAN IT IS JON SHOWS THAT IT IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL HE LEAVES AND HURTS THE CHILDREN AND EVERYONE IS SEXIST AND SAYS KATE IS THE BAD GUY KATE IS NOT THE BAD GUY FIRST SHE WOULD BE A GIRL NOT A GUY AND SECOND SHE IS TRYING EXTRA HARD TO RAISE HER CHILDREN AND HSE HAS A CONTRACT WITH THE SHOW AND THE KIDS DONT WANT IT TO STOP EVERYONE NEEDS TO GET OFF HER HIGHHORSE AND STOP THE SEXISM IN THE MEDIA WE SHALL PERSEVERE
Love you, girl.
People on Jezebel get off their ass and do something instead of crying to each other about the wage gaps and sharing rape stories. Jezebel’s articles are (occasionally) good but their commenters are the most self important feminazi wack jobs on the internet.
WOW YOU ARE BASICALLY JON YOU ARE AT LEAST A JONENABLER WE ARE WORKING OUR ASSES OFF TRYING TO HELP MAKE PEOPLE AWARE THAT THEIR ARE PROBLEMS OUT THERE THAT NO ONE IS FIXING YOU HAVE TO RAISE A VOICE BEFORE YOU CAN DO THE WORK AND ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND JON THAT CONINUE TO KEEP US DOWN YOUR PROBABLY A MAN WHO JUST WANTS WOMEN TO BE HOUSEWIVES OR A HOUSEWIFE WHOS JONLIKE HUSBAND HAS BRAINWASHED HER I AM SORRY YOU CAN BE FREE YOU CAN REALIZE THERE ARE THINGS THAT NEED TO BE FIXED AND YOU CAN HELP US FIX THEM DONT BE A JON BE A SUPPORTER OF EQUALITY NOT A ASSHOLE!
“WOW YOU ARE BASICALLY JON YOU ARE AT LEAST A JONENABLER ”
Clearly, the word you are looking for here is “Jonabler”.
I’m not sure what you did there. The first sentence seems to defend Jezebel, and then you call out all the commenters for being feminazis? (which, by the way, gross).
She was making a distinction between the writers of Jezebel and the commenters, you silly feminazi!
No, I got that. I think there’s a couple of words missing in the first sentence? I dunno. Either way, there are few people I would upvote for calling me a feminazi, and apparently you’re one of them. Congrats.
You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends mom!!
“And K-Fed, Britney Spears’ ex, landed his own reality show with girlfriend Victoria Prince”
Avoid one nightmare, get another. Seriously, who gets a pitch like this and says “yeah! I think people WOULD be interested in that! He’s relevant! It’s 2006, right? He wasn’t relevant then either? Oh well, HERE, HAVE SOME CAMERAS!”
This had three way tie for “Father-O-The Year” written all over it.
Michael Lohan clearly watches “Guide to Man Style”. Cause, shirt.
Rufus Humphrey needs to be incorporated into this show somehow.
Comment system is broken again. I told this to go in as a reply to TEAMKATE, because really… that beezy needs to relax.
It’s not broken. It’s just that if you hit “preview” the page refreshes, so you have to hit reply again.
So now TLC brought the world to its knees and then stopped the oncoming apocalypse? I am so confused…
Not to get all Doctor of Harry Potter over here, but during the majority of the books Lord Voldemort would have been far too successful to be on this show. Maybe Lord Voldemort circa book 1 right after he was thwarted from gaining immortality yet again love, the oldest magic imaginable. That would probably be the time that he had the desperation and the has been status to be on a show with Kevin Federline. Unfortunately at this time he had no physical form, so that would make bad TV. Book 4 maybe before he returned to his actual body, but then he was really too tied up with other projects to take this one on. Plus his physical form was more radio friendly if you know what I mean. After that he was too powerful to even consider reality TV.
Well, he could put a horcrux in an Ed Hardy shirt. Then the shirt could make mean comments about K-Fed’s weight: “You’re streching me out!”
I’m starting to think that this could be a great show.
Excellent point. I think you have a serious future in evil talent management.
Man, this thread is embarrasing. Everyone has to go back to reply school. Well, except that =w==w==w==w= guy – he knows what he’s doing.
Look, Jezebel commenters were never taught sarcasm in Women’s Studies, and that’s very sad and we should all create a Send Jezebel Commenters to Sense of Humor School fund and contribute a few pennies to it, but all of us who take the time to comment on blogs need to stop telling other people who take the time to comment on blogs that they could be doing something useful instead. Now I’m gonna go wash my hands, I just kinda defended Jezebel commenters.
No, you just kinda defended Jezebel on the wrong place. Shoot yourself in the head, you’re done.
i wasn’t a fan of tlc for a while there because of the whole jon and kate thing and tlc’s involvement. but, people, I AM A CONVERT. i worship at the feet of tlc (during commercial breaks between their horrible programming) for nipping this fiasco in the bud. kudos.
I would never watch a show about Lohan’s divorce and him giving his insincere regrets about it. I wouldn’t even watch the tv promo. I would on the other hand watch a show where he throws shoes at people.