Sorry, ladies. Royale is not your boyfriend. Don’t worry, you’ll find someone who will love and cherish you, I’m sure. And if you don’t, there are always cats. So many cats. Cats never tell you they are going to be home at a certain time but then come home much later and act very cagey about where they have been, right ladies? SHOPPIN’! But Royale is spoken for. His heart belongs to a girl he found. Her name is J’Koko. His love for her is a fresh alternative. Blended. (Via GorillaMask.)

Comments (43)
  1. I don’t know if it’s because i might still be drunk, but i’m laughing so hard i might have to go home from work.

  2. No matter what country he’s in, he’ll always be a Royale with cheese.

  3. J’Koko, a fresh alternative: cocoa, coffee, and espresso beans, blended. New at Starbucks.

  4. Royale with cheese.

  5. Your bf would rather have you than a million dollars. He hedges at 1.5 mil tho.

  6. woozefa  |   Posted on Aug 21st, 2009 +5

    so that’s where my suit went.

  7. and…….star wipe.

    • What, is voting broken? Why can’t we have nice things. I was going to upvote every comment here. Quality work, fellas, especially for a Friday.

      • Maybe commenting really is working but all of these highly controversial comments are just receiving totally equal numbers of upvotes and downvotes, so everyone is still at 0.

  8. I kind of like this song. Is that bad?

    • Nope. Not bad. Listen everyone, this song is great. I’m serious. Flush da Haterade (it’s 2003).

      • Duh. Of course this song is Great. Who are you even talking to?

        • I don’t think the person who originally posted it on Break thought it was as good as I (we, appparently) think it is; however, I just checked the comments on it, and they’re kinda split between “LOL whatta gay” and “kinda catchy!” World ain’t ready, on the whole, is my thinking.

  9. You can really hear the future styles in the blend.

  10. His speaking voice sounds like a cross between Eddie Murphy’s impression of a woman and Eddie Murphy’s impression of Michael Jackson.

    And his singing voice is just Eddie Murphy.

  11. This truly is a fresh blend of an amazing suit, profound lyrical prowess, and aww inspiring stage presence. All in the name (the amazing name) of a woman who is both nice AND kind. Why wouldn’t a woman with that rare combination come running back to our knight in blazery like thing with no shirt on.

  12. Royale: providing the template for tuxedo t-shirts everywhere.

  13. Royale is so misunderstood. It’s called fresh alternative. LIKE HE SAID BEFORE. And Royale doesn’t have just one role model. THERE’S BEEN A LOT.

  14. What they don’t tell you is that J’Koko is actually the host who interviews him at the beginning. Pretty awkward for her.
    It’s called J’Koko’s J’Showshow, and it’s the best.

  15. I registered just so I could say that I am going to make my next boyfriend memorize and sing this song to me, preferably with the little dance.

  16. I used to be in a General Public tribute band with this guy.

  17. the way I feel, I’d rather have him than a million dollars. Too bad he’s so out of my league.

  18. Wouldn’t it be cool if Royale and the gay dad who broke into the high school’s A/V room did a collaboration? I mean, before gay dad would murder and don Royale’s skin for his next video.

  19. i like it too. I’m gonna roller skate so hard to it. who’s with me!

  20. Shortly after this video, Royale got back with J’Koko. Sadly this started a dark period in the artist life, in which he ended up re-imagining himself as the artist formerly known as Royale. It was not the fresh alternative.

  21. This guy is on some Ariel Pink shit. Totally awesome.

  22. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  23. Yikes, Royale. I will take you back. Just stop singing!

  24. I have no hilarious comment to add, because there is no hilarity that could possibly be added to this.

    • I have not stopped laughing at this video since the moment it was posted. It’s like saying LOL, but, more meaningful, I think.

  25. Blergman  |   Posted on Aug 21st, 2009 +3

    I can see this guy writing the hook:

    “hmmm, what rhymes with ‘most’? What name could i throw in, what name would really just tie this whole song together? Take it to the next level…

    “hmmm….loves the most….her name is…..j’koko! that’s it!


    “R. Kelly, here i come!”

  26. I wish my name were J’Koko. I’d spell it J’Coqo, like Sisqo would have wanted.

  27. I’m going to name my first-born J’Koko and sing this as a beautiful (creepy) lullaby.

  28. girlblogger  |   Posted on Aug 21st, 2009 +6

    He should spell it Roy.L Because that’s how I see it in my heart.

  29. I think he found a name that he loved the most. I’d write a song for a girl called J’Koko.

  30. JPC  |   Posted on Aug 22nd, 2009 +2

    I don’t cares, y’all: this is good. I’ve been singing it ever since…

  31. “sheee’s nyeeece, and she’s kiiinda neeat.” kinda, royale? c’mon we’re talkin about Ja’cocoa here. i love his innocent voice. this is a boy in love, dont let the simplicity of it fool you.

  32. Royale went on to bigger and better things; eventually playing a major role in the development of Microsoft Songsmith.

  33. I didn’t really care about this video when it was posted, but over the weekend I just kept thinking about it. Now I just can’t stop watching it. His conviction is so charming. When he sings “and she’s kinda neat,” and raises his eyebrows, it just gets to me. And this song is awesome.
    I love this video unconditionally.

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