Photos
I tried to start my own Best New Party Game on Twitter last night. Has it taken Twitter by storm? No it has not. Has your mom written me like, “@videogum Lots Of Love, I can’t stop playing yr new game, it is 2 much fun #desperatepassions.” Your mom has said nothing. On the one hand, that is kind of a bummer. I tried to participate in this human world of ours, and the human world was like “u could have just as easily not tried to participate.” On the other hand, the only thing more shameful than failing at Twitter is being really good at Twitter. “Oh, he is one of the best when it comes to Twitter.” “Is he?” “Yes.” “That’s too bad.” And besides, that just means MORE PARTY GAME FOR US. Right, you guys? Right? Riiiight?* The game is simple: #HonestMovieTitles. You get it. I’ll go first:
- There Will Not Actually Be That Much Blood
- Honey, The Kids Are Running Around on a Stupid Looking Sound Stage
- Split Personality Club
- Indiana Jones and the Second to Last (Let’s Hope!) Crusade
- No Country For Any Men, When You Think About It, Too Scary!
You get the idea! Car! Game on!
P.S. As you can see, my head is clearly in a yogurt cup, so I’m leaving early today on a much-wanted long weekend. When the Gabe’s away the Monsters will play, or whatever, ugh, sorry, bye. See you guys on Monday.
Gabe: Ice Cream Cake, I messed up! Boo hoo hoo, I’m a big baby who wears a diaper apparently.
Ice Cream Cake: Don’t worry. You will always have your best friend: me, Ice Cream Cake!
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Million Dollar Baby That Dies at the End
Million Dollar Euthanasia
cry me a river
harry potter and that what am i supposed to do at work tommorrow
Not so Goodfellas
Dances With Wolves Robs Best Picture
Does this mean there’ll be no Monsters’ Ball this week?
And more importantly no You Can Make It Up?
The Bruce Willis Is A Ghost Sense. oops, SPOILER ALERT
So you think you’re better than me?
I sense that you are slow on the draw, my good fellow!
Oh yeah! Well… There is so green!
I’m colorblind…. *sob*
It’s okay, friend. Don’t fret. Here is a comforting monochromatic circular pattern to make you feel better.
I srsly can’t read it. : (
…you monster
It was actually through a copy of this picture that my girlfriend found out that she’s colour blind. She appreciated the irony.
This is unrelated, but I just wanted to tell you that I can’t stop staring at the adorable KITTEH in your avatar! And my brain is fully aware that it is on a very tiny loop, but I just keep watching it! It’s like the HYPNO-KiTTEH!
I’m sorry, it seems like all I do lately is comment on avatars–I will try to stop, sorry guys. I don’t have much to contribute to this party game (party pooper); I’m a music nerd, not a movie nerd. But since I’ve been working towards my online degree, here at Videogum University, I’ve learned of lots of great suggestions to add to the ‘must watch” list…..but have subsequently ruined each one by reading these comments! This post should come with a NC-17 SPOILER rating–or whatever. (It wouldn’t have mattered though, I would’ve read them anyway.)
Carry on, monsters!
Someone just read this for me, and now I’m mad at you. Just so you know, these work in reverse too. And when the revolution comes, you outtie
The Sense That Allows You to See Dead People That Don’t Even Know They Are Dead.
PG-Rated Even for the Swinging ’60s “Dancing”
Citizen William Randolph Hearst
Harry Potter and the Age of Consent
Harry Potter Still Can’t Act
Gone with the Reconstruction
Slumdog Thousandaire After Taxes
Margot Being Sad and White at the Wedding
In Bruges
Torture Porn and perhaps a Saw 3
Girls Just Wanna Participate In Dance Contests
Dancing in Heaven, I never thought I could get my feet this far (Orbital Be-Bop).
Slow. Slow. Quick, Quick-Slow… but I perfer the song, Technique- because that’s where they win it all and become DTV Stars!!
You are my boyfriend.
Harry Potter and the (SPOILER) Death of Dumbledore
Also, “The Torture Porn of The Christ”
Samuel L. Jackson Yelling on a Plane
Samuel L Jackson gets eaten by a shark while yelling Sea
For being the first person to reply to my first ever Videogum comment, you get a hell of an upvote. Kahdooz.
i think that means you owe me a drink, i dont think actually i know. also SECOND
downvote both for unnecessary camaraderie.
get a room.
“Unnecessary Camaraderie” is my bands name.
Samuel L Jackson ruins Shaft.
Samuel L. Jackson’s Dissertations on The Subtle Differences Between Frech And American Systems of Weights and Measures and How McDonald’s Copes With Them With a Foreword by John Travolta
Danny Ocean’s Music Videos of Latin Jazz themed Covers
Back to the Past and then Onwards to the Present
and it’s sequels:
- Back to the Future and then to the Alternate Present and then Back to the Past Again.
- The Shitty One Set in the Wild West
Back to the Quickly Dated Idea of What the Future Might Be Like (with Flying Cars Of Course) II
Twilight: New Mo(vie), really? they are really gonna make all of these? BOOM!
tag line: that was the sound of everyones head exploding
Back to the Entirely Replaced Family
ack – a minute too late. my shitty wild west cowboy hat off to you, the dude.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Another Unnecessary Toy-based Franchise
The Megan Fox and Transforming Robots Awesome Show, Great Job!
Michael Bay Ruins Everything
The Whiny-Teenage-Archetypes-in-Detention Club
Rachel Getting Annoying
Edward McNally’s Day Of Good Natured Shenanigans
So full of win
Definitely Not Trainspotting
The Usual Suspect is also the Crippled Narrator
Ocean’s Far Too Many
Mark Wahlberg Talks To A Fake Plant.
The 2 Year Incriminate Time Machine Mailbox = The Lake House
White Bitches is Crazy = Obsessed
The Modern Times Village = The Village
Attack of the Plants That Make You Kill Yourself = The Happening
The Rooooohhmygodthisisthebestthingihaveeverseen
Independence DAY IS REALLY a Day To Put Aside THOSE PUSSYASS Fireworks, GRAB A Gun, And START BLOWING the Shit Out of EVERY FUCKIN Alien YOU SEE.
win
Shit just got real
Boring People
Citizen Hearst.
Citizen Murdoch
(at least he dies.)
Second Blood
The Plants! The Plants Are Killing Us With Plant Toxins!
Haha FUCK that movie! Fuck THAT MOVIE RIGHT in the ear!d
My Daughter’s Black Fiance is Coming to Dinner
Or: Guess Who’s – Wait he’s WHAT? This Challenges Our Liberal Identities and Gives Hepburn and Tracy More Fightin Dialogue.
Alien vs Predator vs a Bunch of Assholes Nobody Cares About
The Wages of Guys Driving Exploding Trucks
Creepy Guy Who Works at a One Hour Photo
I Am Will Smith, Vampire Killer
LEGOS: The Movie
To Kill A Black Man Even Though That White Woman Was Totally Lying And Stuff.
Transformers Way 2 Long
Bubble Oh Boy Why Are You Watching This?
Fast Times at Boobs and Sean Penn is High
Where the Nine Foot Tall Foam and CGI Puppets/Costumes Are
Indiana Jones wants you off his planee
No Country For The Guy That Played Brand Walsh In The Goonies.
Dirty Harry Wants you off his lawn
Funny People Who Regret Not Having Judd Apatow’s Family
Rocky Loses
Rocky Wins This Time
People Don’t Always Do The Right Thing
Little Miss Sunshine Contest Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be
The Neverending Story That’s About An Hour & A Half
Mother Fuckin Snakes On A Mother Fuckin Plane
FUCKING EPIC WIN
never saw the movie. when it came right down to it, were there actually snakes on a plane?
man wouldn’t that be weird? to have bunch of snakes… on an airplane?
I can totally see why that was greenlighted.
John Travolta has a huge codpiece
this could be so many movies
Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Rent This Movie? Such A Bad Call, And I Only Have Myself To Blame.
Tyler Perry’s 5 minutes of Tyler Perry in a dress interspersed between a family drama
Tyler Perry presents “Why Did I Get Married(To A Tyler Perry Fan)?”
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and the Indian Escapes
S7me Creepy Murders and Gwyneth Paltrow’s Head in a Box
Cool Hand Luke Can’t Eat Those Eggs
Trying to Be Funny People
Casino Since When Does James Bond Play Poker Royale
A Hallucinating Mind
That Thing We Did In the 60′s For A Few Months
[I'm so sorry I don't know how to embed this shit! What does embed mean??]
Thankssss buddy. PickingupCarrie’sslackgum.
You are quite welcome, friend.
I’m pushing for this to officially be a meme.
It’s the perfect combination of inside joke and petty meanness.
oops. split that infinite like it wasn’t no thang.
oops. failed to spell ‘infinitive’ correctly.
You’ll just have to TalbainJ Harder, yourself.
TalbainJ Harder?
I hardly know her!
It’s OK, I was already leaving.
Carrie, I’m not trying to be your boyfriend or anything, but I have to say that your refusal to learn HTML codes is adorable.
You are SO trying to be her boyfriend, christopherrrrrrr!
That line is straight out of the ole playbook of How To Get A Girlfriend In The Comment Thread of Online Blogs:
Step One: Make her feel special by up-voting her commentz.
Step Two: Tell her how adorable she is when she’s html-ing.
[PRO TIP]: Liven up conversation by asking about her favorite meme!
Step Three: After a few dates, tell her how much you’d enjoy seeing her embed. (Careful fellas, step three is only for the advanced!)
Follow these easy steps and you’ll be sharing a facebook profile in no time! You’ll probably use this for your profile pic because of how in love you guys are:
Hahahaha, oh my god I wonder if Chuck Close is aware of how stellar he looks in North Face?? Anyway, I would try this HTML-macallit, but I’m mostly afraid of not doing it right and the merciless downvotes that will inevitably ensue (monsters!).
P.S. You both have a gratuitous amount of rrrrrr’s in your names. I should change my display name to Carrrrrie (I should not change my display name to Carrrrrie).
There Are Snakes on This Plane
+1 INFINITY for the avatar
Gabe, who needs twitter when you have all the party game participants you need right here?
))<>(( Back and forth, forever
Me and You and Everyone We Know.
That didn’t make sense.
“Borat: Cultural Leanings of Americans Do Not Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Immigrants”
See! I did it! Oh, I’m growing up so fast, learning so much! I don’t even have to order off the kid’s menu anymore!
Me and You and A Few Other People We Know
Star Insurgency
The Empire is Pretty Much Kicking Everyone’s Ass
The Jedi Were Never Really Gone They Were Just Waiting for the Help of Some Teddy Bears
Teen Vampires with a lot of Hormones
(Oh no! Paper Cut!)
T for Terrorism
The Shawshank Escape
Where the Tony Sopranos Are
Batman and Robin and My High School Girlfriend Not Letting Me Go Up Her Shirt in the Theater
My Dog Merley Died
I just down voted myself for screwing up (see below) everyone feel free to do the same.
Toys From the 80′s That Transform From Automobile into Machines and Blow Things Up
My Dog Marley Died
The Dog Dies.
Batman 6: The Insane Clown Posse
Space Battles with Magic
Once Upon a Time in America Robert Deniro Rapes Two Women
Knowing About Solar Flares Won’t Stop Solar Flares
Lard Ass Sets Off An Orgy Of Vomiting, And Later A Kid Gets A Leech On His Balls
Star Wars: The Jar Jar Binks Menace
Debbie Has Sex Once And Never Even Goes to Dallas
but people have sex at pratt institute a lot. speaking of which
Keep your art confidential, get it cause that movie sucks…
Look it’s a Baby Talking With Bruce Willis’ Voice for the Third Fucking Time
The 43 Year Old Virgin
Edward McNally’s Day Off
The Day After Some Day That You Can’t Really Tell What Day It Is Because There’s No Sense Of Time Progression
It’s Actually Cretaceous Park
Field of my dad’s dead friends
Sophie’s trip to a concentration camp and dysfunctional relationship with a psychopath
Children who live underground are very sad
Am I doing it right? Why are mine so sad?
Chris Tucker and Some Other Guy From a Different Racial Background.
The Curious Case of Benja- Oh Wait, This is Forest Gump
Mission Possible With Enough Face Masks
The Pretty Mysogynistic and Sexist Spy Who Loved Me and Loads of Other Ladies in Order to Save The World Using Lots of Gadgets and Weapons against Totally Unrealistic Baddies.
Crash into a bunch of other racists in a bunch of racially charged instances and then also some people who don’t seem so racist turn out to be really racist too!
Donnie Darko, as an alternate to death your crazy hallucinations will lead you in an existential loop until it becomes clear that you would have been better off had you died so go ahead and make that happen.
those are too long…
The Midget Agent (I am very bad at this.)
Morgan Freeman Lies About His Magic Blanket And Who It Told Him To Kill
TV one: How I Spent the Majority of My Late-Twenties in Excruciatingly Awesome Detail.
The Truth About Ripping Off Cyrano De Bergerac and Doing It In a Really Lame Way, with Janeane Garofalo and a Big Dog on Rollerskates.
Holocaust Edition!
The Guy Who Plays the Piano During the Holocaust
Schindler’s List of People to Save from the Holocaust
Life is Not Beautiful
Holocaust Edition!
The Guy Who Plays the Piano During the Holocaust
Schindler’s List of People to Save from the Holocaust
Life is Not Beautiful
I double posted on purpose because the Holocaust was that bad. Never forget.
Haha I love how Holocaust jokes are funny. >_>
Megan Fox’s Body
Fast Times at a High School That is Nothing Like High School
What Never Happens in Vegas or Anywhere
Zach Braff Goes to New Jersey?
Who greenlit that one?
Austin Powers with an Afro starring Eddie Griffin
Kill a Lot of People and Talk About Killing Bill, pt. 1
Kill a Lot More People, Culminating in Killing Bill, pt. 2
Requiem for a fucking Nightmare you will have for the rest of your life
Eternal Forgetting…Oh Wait, I Change My Mind.
The Wizard of Some Farm Girl’s Imagination
Madonna and Willem Dafoe Get It On Lots and Lots In A Really Predictable Thriller.
You’d Totally Fall In Love With Vincent Gallo, If You’d Just Stop Acting So Stuck Up And Let Him Abduct You
Vincent Gallo Walks Slowly To Yes Songs.
You win.