At the critics press tour in Pasadena, whatever that means (seriously this time, what does that even mean?!), Jay Leno “took the stage” (OK, so there’s a stage? It’s like a concert. A Jay Leno concert. For critics? Are the critics on tour, or is Jay Leno on tour? Anyway!) to offer up some highly anticipated details about his new 10PM show. Phew. The anticipation was killing me. “Ack!” So what will it be like?

  • “The Jay Leno Show” will have a fast opening sequence, about 10 seconds, before launching into the host’s monologue.
  • There will be one celebrity guest, perhaps two at most.
  • Musical segments will sometimes feature multiple acts performing together — like on the Grammys when famous artists are teamed together.
  • Leno’s signature comedy bits like Jay Walking and newspaper headlines will be saved for the end of the show, where Leno will tell viewers to stay tuned for the local news (this is the only part of the show where Leno might have a desk).
  • Additional segments include bits like advertiser-friendly “Green Car Challenge,” where celebrities race against each other in alternative fuel vehicles. (NBC has built a race track next to the studio [a race track next to the studio!] where guests can compete against each other. ["You can see who is faster, Shaquille O'Neal or Cameron Diaz," Leno said.] [Ugh!])
  • Other segments will feature comedian correspondents doing taped segments, a bit like on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” (though Leno rejected that comparison). D.L Hughley will report on politics from Washington, for instance, and “Hangover” actress Rachel Harris has been tapped as well.
  • NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams will also have a regular bit on the show — “Stories Not Good Enough For Nightly News.”

Can I tell you something? A lot of this stuff actually sounds fine. Limited interviews with “people” who have nothing to say, potentially surprising musical performances, and occasional bits with Brian Williams? Who doesn’t love Brian Williams? But there is just one problem:

This man is the worst. It’s impossible to forget that. At one point there was talk about him opening each show by driving onto the set in a different antique car from his airplane hangar full of antique cars. Yuck. Maybe that’s what the “quick, 10 second opening” is. In the event that someone actually convinced him that this was a bad idea (because it was), he still managed to work in the Green Car Challenge. Why don’t they call this show Jay Leno Is Interested in Cars, Like, A Lot, and Now He Has A Show That Features Cars If You Like Cars and Want to Hear Jay Leno Talk About How Much He Likes Cars. I am all for raising awareness about fuel efficiency and the benefits of hybrid vehicles, but that sounds like a nightmare.

Oh, and they’re bringing “newspaper headlines” over to the new show? Good thinking. It’s 2009, so that’s just something that it makes sense to keep doing. Because of how interesting and hilarious it is.

Well, I am just as much not looking forward to this show now as I was…not…before I knew what the show was going to be like. Surprise. (Via the Hollywood Reporter.)

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Comments (38)
  1. but, will kevin ewwwbanks (the spelling doesn’t matter) still be there?

  2. I’m not trying to come off as professor metaphors or anything like that, but to me Jay Leno has always been the Nickelback of late night talk shows; so ridiculously popular, yet so incredibly below average.

    • so well-stated. Tenure!
      also what is your excellent avatar?

      • Thanks, I just speak from the heart. To be honest I’m really not sure what my avatar is, aside from a guy falling from a great height over and over, which is fantastic in and of itself.

    • My mom loves Leno’s newspaper bloopers. Once I called her during them and she asked me to please call back in a few minutes. He’s got an audience.

      • That was not meant as a reply. Oops.

        In reply I would have said, “I know that Leno is the night show of choice at my Grandmother’s care home (for those that manage to stay up) because Letterman is ‘too weird’. They are Leno-loyalists over there, despite the fact that he hasn’t been on air for a few months. Also, these are the type of things I hear when I visit, it is often hilarious.”

  3. He’s pantomiming what we’re all feeling. Go for the throat Jay!

  4. I just watched a rerun of the Bobcat Golthwait HBO special (Don’t ask why) where he commented on setting Jay Leno’s Tonight Show chair on fire. I totally had forgotten that.

  5. Bill Hicks said it best about Jay Leno: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWB-kd09GXY

  6. sounds like a winning combination! celebrities racing cars?! that’s not going to get old fast?

    lots of :( when the ratings for this are through the roof.

    • will  |   Posted on Aug 6th, 2009

      Actually celebrities racing cars, if done correctly, is awesome and hilarious. Watch Top Gear sometime

      • Clearly Leno is “borrowing” from Top Gear on this one. He even said it’s his favorite show when he did an interview with them a week or so ago.

  7. I can’t wait to not watch this!

  8. Jamie Mac  |   Posted on Aug 6th, 2009

    But, Gabe, Jay lost 10 or 12 pounds for this. That will make him funnier, right?
    And I want to know, “Who would win in a car race between Shaq and Cameron Diaz?”

  9. I used to find solace in the fact that I wasn’t awake for his show, but now I don’t know what I’m going to do.

  10. Can someone check Goop and find out when Gwyneth Paltrow and Katherine Heigl are scheduled to race in the Green Car Challenge?

  11. This sounds suspiciously like the rumored NBC adaptation of Top Gear?
    More like Jay LAMEO!
    zing

  12. Jay Leno IS the Nickelback of comedy. Because, just like Nickelback, he aims for the middle and consistently finds it. He does mild, comfortable gags, and they are frequently amusing. It’s like the material Bill Cosby used to do. I don’t hate on him, because not everybody needs to be Chris Rock or Louis CK. If Jay Leno didn’t exist, we would have to create him. Wait, what?

  13. One of the comedian correspondents is supposed to be Jim Norton. He alone changes this from Must Flee TV to Must See TV. Frrrrrrrrrrrunkis!

  14. Jay Leno, I don’t need to watch your show to see Shaq race other celebrities becuase I am gonna be too busy watching Shaq Vs. on ABC. Zing!

  15. Ugh. That sounds like the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Come on now!

    Like HT says, Jay Leno is the everyday American’s comedian. He cannot go away. What would they watch?! I don’t think this got what it takes to be on at 10pm, though. Oh wait, now the grandparents can watch it. Ahhhh. Smart move Mr. Leno.

  16. Double Dog: Gabe washes all Jay Leno’s cars.

  17. I can’t wait! This will be the most fun I’ve had in years! I’ll make it out of solitary confinement just in time for his show. Congratulations to me!!!!!

  18. Are there absolutely no Leno apologists on this site? Usually, the mere mention of Leno or Letterman turns into a shouting match faster than you can say… something that takes about four minutes to say. The alphabet backwards, let’s go with.

    I like it. I like this site. There I said it.

    • This isn’t Ain’t It Cool or The AV Club (thank god), but just for you, I’ll play all the parts this one time.
      1st post: “Leno sucks. Letterman rules.”
      2nd: “Fuck them both. Conan is the best.”
      3rd: “I prefer Craig,”
      4th: “People don’t give Fallon enough credit.”
      5th: “Here’s my personal list … ”
      [exeunt omnes]

  19. ‘Here’s a segment not at all like The Daily Show, featuring Rachel Harris!”

  20. Jay Leno makes Sugar Slam look like DJ Clay

  21. Hey Jay. Here’s a Green Car Challenge. Don’t race cars. Use them for transportation. And carpool whenever possible. And don’t drive things with 18 fucking cylinders.

  22. you can’t cover politics on a “comedy” show and not invite comparisons to the daily show anymore. ever.

  23. Derjis  |   Posted on Aug 6th, 2009

    Doing a bit about ‘hilarious newspaper headlines’ in the internet age is about as topical as ‘zany constellations’ would have been in the mid-fifties.
    “look, look! that star to that star to that bright star there looks like a BUTT!!! haw!”

  24. “Other segments will feature comedian correspondents doing taped segments, a bit like on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” (though Leno rejected that comparison).”
    I would reject that comparison too; TDS is funny.

  25. “You can see who is faster: Who Cares vs. What The Fuck.”

  26. My Dad always tells me to watch Headlines and I’m just like, “No. Typos aren’t funny.” I really told him.

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