The best part about the official Michael Jackson lithograph (endorsed by the American Historic Society*) is that after you’ve hung it up in a prominent place in your otherwise art-free home, you can do almost anything in that room. You don’t have to just sit and stare at the Michael Jackson lithograph, running your hand gently along the tear-stained edges of the frame. Nope. You can arrange some flowers on top of a piano, or read a magazine article about Michael Jackson on the couch. Just relax! Unfortunately, if you want to interrupt your friend while she is working at the computer (looking at pictures of Michael Jackson lithographs on-line) you should refrain from using your official Michael Jackson “Thriller” lithograph, and instead use the complimentary “Commemorative” lithograph, featuring a majestic portrayal of Michael Jackson in his regal attire. You will be interrupting your friend on the computer in no time!

Sorry, though, guys, there is a very strict, very serious, very real limit of two Michael Jackson posters (Ahh! Sorry! Official Lithographs!) per order. You could probably find a lawyer to help set up a shell corporation through which you might be able to place multiple dummy orders and get around this rule, but that’s a pretty substantial risk to take. You should probably just satisfy yourself with the two posters (FUCK! SORRY! OFFICIAL LITHOGRAPHS!) and count yourself lucky to even have those. They look great hanging in the middle of the wall in your dining room. (Thanks for the tip, Louis.)

*I am pretty sure the American Historic Society is just some dude named Greg, hand numbering “Certificates of Authenticity” just as fast as the Epson can print them.

Comments (44)
  1. FINALLLLLY!

  2. There ain’t enough Jesus Juice in the world to get me to hang those up in my house.

  3. Radi0Waves  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 +27

    But if I put this in the middle of the wall in my dining room, where will I put my portrait of Ronald Reagan?
    And don’t say over the fireplace, that’s where I have my I Love Lucy commemorative plates.

  4. It’s only costing me $673.99 to get them framed and matted at Michaels this week. They gave me a free frame for my certificate… I asked for the “shamon” discount. JUMP ON IT GUYS!

  5. He was the king of pop you tasteless shits… at the very least have the decency to make a plate or mint a pog slammer.

    • I thought you said “king of tasteless shirts,” and I wondered if I could get that printed on my commemorative lithogragh.

  6. I’m holding out for the commemorative spoons.

  7. That reminds me, I have to stop by Big Lots today.

  8. “wearing a white suit as pure as his heart!” (?!?!)

    What a weird detail, even for this supremely weird commercial.

  9. Greg, change your ways. He asked you to change your ways.

  10. d-w  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 +4

    Nothing says “once in a lifetime opportunity” quite like that $10 price tag.

  11. Yes, hang them all in your dedicated Michael Jackson room, with piano and candles, because even in these tough times, we all still have a dedicated Michael room, right? I have two, pre-Bad and post-Bad.

    PS: You’re welcome, Gabe.

  12. Only $10?!
    Beat it you guys! (Sorry)

  13. Right between Aaliyah and Beethoven on my dead musicians wall.

  14. JohnnyYen  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 +6

    “The Greatest Entertainer of All Time! As A Tribute to this Great American Icon, the first 5,000 lithographs have Michael’s Nose Embossed With Real Silver from the Melted Ruins of 9-11″

  15. Mark  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -2

    Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Biff Tannen Museum! Dedicated to Hill Valley’s #1 Citizen. And America’s greatest living folk hero. The one and only Biff Tannen. Of course we’ve all heard the legend, but who is the man? Inside you will learn how Biff Tannen became one of the richest and most powerful men in America. Learn the amazing history of the Tannen family, starting with his great-grandfather, Buford ‘Mad Dog’ Tannen, fastest gun in the West. See Biff’s humble beginnings and how a trip to the race track on his 21st Birthday made him a millionaire overnight. Share in the excitement of a fabulous winning streak that earned him the nickname “The Luckiest Man on Earth.” Learn how Biff parlayed that lucky winning streak into the vast empire called Biffco. Discover how, in 1979, Biff successfully lobbied to legalize gambling and turned Hill Valley’s dilapidated courthouse into a beautiful casino-hotel!

    • nooneknows  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 0

      you’re trying too hard

      • Mark  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -9

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

        • nooneknows  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -5

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • Mark  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -8

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • nooneknows  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -4

            i wasn’t trying to be a dick. you are the one who is calling people retards, not me. i simply meant that it seemed you were trying to hard to get a gown for the ball. do you understand that reference?

          • Mark  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -6

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • nooneknows  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -2

            man, if i had known it would upset you that much then i would have kept my opinion to myself. but just remember stuart, no matter what they say, you are good enough, you are strong enough, and doggone it, people like you.

          • Mark  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -1

            The truth does indeed hurt, sir. I am literally crushed over here, I hope you’re happy. You win the internet.

            P.S. You’re trying too hard.

          • Jeez, you two, get a room!

          • They could send each other love notes.

  16. Too bad it doesn’t come in one of those classy snifter frames.

  17. Gabe sez “Thanks for the tip, Louis” — Could that be Louis C.K.? Dare I dream?

  18. By the way, I saw this commercial on CNN Sunday morning and they’ve since changed the “talent” in it. Originally the guy reading the MJ magazine on the couch was white. And they added the whole “computer desk” vignette with Af-Am girl.

    To which I say, “DUH.” The middle-aged white guy and preppy 30something blond girl were, well… wrong.

    • Or maybe they have different versions of the ad for different networks?… I’m not sure what channel Louis C.K. taped this off of…

    • I saw that one too! I wanted to send it in like two weeks ago but I could only find this new, revised version, and I felt that the middle-aged white man admiring his Michael Jackson commemorative lithograph was clearly the funniest part.

  19. SUPER BONUS

  20. Oh, I get it now. He was an Icon! Like gold baby Jesus with a halo. This makes perfect sense. Infact, nothing else other than this would make sense.

  21. I bet if you scratch it, you can smell Michael’s hair.

  22. I think it’s really great that Louis C.K. has time to help out Videogum with tips and stuff. Anything to pick up the slack since Lindsey left. Gabe can’t do this alone!

  23. adrienne  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 +3

    When I first saw this on tv, I said “oh god, i can’t wait til this is on videogum.” you never let me down, Gabe.

  24. At 0:50 “This once in a lifetime offer is restricted to 30 days. After which, the plates shall be destroyed forever.?
    Destroyed forever? Oh, no! Save the Michael Jackson Lithographs, you guys!

  25. The American Historic Society is the same company that makes the lithograph. That’s like saying Goop is endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow. No shit.

  26. and how much would a greeting card that plays “you are not alone” when it opens up cost? with certification? greg, get back to me on this one.

  27. I bought two. One’s for emergencies.

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