France is great. It’s a beautiful country with a long, rich history (God that is a dull thing to say, no matter how true). The food is great (duh), the wine is great (duh), and their influence on literature and film is immeasurable. The American stereotype of the French as rude snobs is stupid, Xenophobic, and mostly unfounded (although it is true that in Paris sometimes they are a bit rough around their polished edges). Remember Freedom Fries? We are the ones who looked rude and ridiculous in that exchange. But perhaps even worse than the American who dismissively categorizes France as a cheese-scented land of haughty Communists is the American who falls in love with France, and pretends to have discovered it all on their own. There is nothing more grating to my ears than hearing someone say that they went to Au Bon Pain for a croissant and pronouncing everything with a college-junior’s-summer-Eurorail accent.

Now imagine them going into Au Bon Pain and ordering croissants for two hours!

Le Divorce is about how Kate Hudson goes to visit her sister, Naomi Watts, who is living with her husband and daughter in Paris and is pregnant with another child. Just as Kate Hudson is arriving, Naomi Watts’s husband is leaving her. He has taken up with a Russian woman, who herself is married to Matthew Modine. Kate Hudson decides to stay in Paris for awhile and help her sister through this difficult time, at which point she starts having an affair with the older uncle of Naomi Watts’s estranged husband. The whole movie is, for the most part, a love letter to Paris, France, handbags, expensive art, and having affairs. Naomi Watts has a painting in her apartment that is a family heirloom but suddenly becomes a disputed item in the divorce proceedings because it turns out that it might be very valuable. How could her husband try and take that from her, when it was clearly not his? Kate Hudson’s powerful, rich, older lover gives her an expensive Hermes handbag, which he gives to all of his mistresses, and everyone is like “how could she wear that handbag around?” Everything comes together in an exciting climax when Matthew Modine shoots his wife, kills Naomi Watts’s estranged husband, attacks everyone on the Eiffel Tower (ooh la la!), and then Kate Hudson throws her handbag over the side and it floats over Paris (HUH?). The good news, excuse me, GREAT news is that with Naomi Watts’s estranged husband out of the way, they are able to auction the painting off and it sells for a billion dollars. Oh thank God. I was worried for a second that the painting would sell for less than a billion dollars.

There are some things about this movie that are obviously not very good. Like Naomi Watts speaking with the accent of an American speaking with a French accent. Yikes. You could replace all her dialogue with an overdub of Heidi Klum reading a copy of The Little Prince that you translated with BabelFish and it would probably sound more convincing. And then there’s the whole issue of Kate Hudson’s inability to render human emotion. Something to do with the amount of plastic in her face creating inverse sine waves that cancel out the visible humanoid responses. Also it is slow and boring, but it’s a Merchant Ivory film, so what do you expect? Would you tell the stars not to shine so slow and boring? Would you tell the rain not to be so obsessed with the doings of the modern (and the ancient) bourgeoise?

And also shit like this:

But the reality of this movie is that to condemn it, and it is very condemnable, has less to do with the content of the movie (its lighting, its costumes, its stupid plot, its focus on the social differences between this and that upper-middle-class) and much more to do with the audience for which this movie is intended. It’s not so much that Le Divorce is a terrible movie as it is that people who would like Le Divorce are terrible people.

Look, I recognize that life is hard for everyone. Just because some of us are literally starving to death and some of us get left by our husbands for another woman doesn’t make anyone’s individual pain less acute. But, like, Naomi Watts’s character is a poet? Who doesn’t have a job? And just lives in her beautiful apartment in Paris having her painting assessed by museums? BOO HOO, I’M SURE. At one point in the movie, one of the characters says “French women are incredible. I’m thinking of writing a little book about them. Their scarves alone could be a chapter.” At another point in the movie Naomi Watts says, “I can’t believe this. I’m in a novel by Balzac.” Now, obviously there are some movies that intentionally test the limits of one’s ability to retain barf, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on here. Someone in the world sees something like that and laughs daintily into their hand as they brush biscotti crumbs off their ascot. And that is the thing that is upsetting. The world is a big place with room enough for all kinds, but maybe it should be a slightly smaller place with a few less kinds, you know what I mean? This lady knows what I mean:

Looking good, girl! The revolution will come in 16 colors and all sizes, free shipping on orders over $75.

I’m glad to see Thomas Lennon getting work, even if he is being completely wasted. Work is work. But it’s like the French say, trop little trop late. Personally, I don’t happen to be particularly interested in the romantic deceptions of modestly wealthy expatriates or the subtle differences between French and Northern Californian dinner parties (in America, we keep our champagne on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator, and in France they keep their champagne laying on its side on the middle shelf!). I don’t particularly care about the lives of unsuccessful poets who don’t need to be successful, or the sexual dalliances of their emotionally retarded (that might be Kate Hudson though, and not the character), equally unambitious siblings. I’ve got no sympathy for the economic headaches of people without real economic headaches, or how the Louvre goes about determining the value of paintings, or flying handbags. Maybe that is just me.

But dear God, I hope it is not just me.

Next week: A short break. Two weeks: Beowulf. As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. And if you haven’t done so already, please consult the Official Rules.

Comments (145)
  1. Passserby  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 -95

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Scooby DOOBY DO hey fuck YOU!

      Also, I READ that SHIT Naomi Watts SAID as “I can’t BELIEVE THIS. I’m IN A novel by BALLSACK.” AND have been SITTING here LAUGHING MY damned ass off!

    • “dj gfhk fghkkfswwwwwwwwwwwwwwwb m”

      as published by my dog when put in front of the keyboard.
      Enjoy.

    • Thanks for stopping by, buddy. Have fun at dinner.

    • april  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 +36

      “I just want to say that don’t read this!”

      That’s some pretty great writing there, too. Maybe a dog would have better grammar?

    • ^ this guy gets it

    • Have you ever fucking read a blog written by a dog!?!?! I wish dogs could blog they don’t even make dog-friendly computers! You must live in some alternate reality where Le Divorce is good and dogs have a snarky, cynical sense of humor that they just have to express on the internet.

    • Should I not read your comment or should I not read Gabe’s post?

    • When someone tells me I need to shut my brain off in order to enjoy something, I want to shut their brain off. Forever.

    • Passserby  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 -47

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • I personally didn’t like Transformers 2 simply because I spilled my Martini all over my Rolls Royce right before I made it to this movie. I also missed the chance to watch these coat-makers club the basket of puppies I gave them to make my fur coat I needed for this Gala event I was attending the next day. Needless to say, I was in a bad mood during my screening of Transformers 2.

        • You were required to operate an auto en route to a *public* screening of that laughable film for commoners? Ha! I, along with my dearest concubines, were hoisted upon my golden chariot by only the most loyal of my subjects to the charming residence of a Mr. Michael Benjamin Bay. Upon arrival, we were greeted with the delightful reception of replicas of the titular robots and a most agreeable oral stimulation from the stunningly radiant, though marginally talented Ms. Megan Fox.
          Though the standard rose petals were not nearly as numerous upon the pavement as expected, and my Louis Vutton footwear might have possibly met with ground, I found the rest of the evening moderately enjoyable.
          After the screening of this proletarian rubbish, we retired to the chamber and sampled some fine Brandy as we engaged in a lovely dialogue concerning the dilution of my beloved Paris due to the increasingly disconcerting sight of some quite ghastly American tourists.
          I do hope you will soon find your fortune and discover the joys and jubilant adventures of a life such as mine, dearest Hopper.

          • Well I hardly went into as much detail as you did, good sir. But considering that we’ve both been “orally enlightened” by a one, Ms. Megan Fox esquire, I can see the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

      • Oh my God, addressing a wall would be more productive than addressing you. Just gtfo.

      • Three quick points:

        When someone arrives here and types seemingly random words in all caps, people mention it a lot. We do get used to it after several months, but there will still be an occasional mention.

        As you are not registered, you will win no awards for being the worst. You got in here early for this post, but you are a talentless hack of a troll. You are the McG’s penis of trolls.

        Really, we do appreciate your visit. Enjoy the roasted chicken.

        • Passerby  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 -25

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • Politcal attacks? Riiiiight… That’s relevant as all fuck.
            This special individual has made me realize that the constant torrent of esoteric references and in-jokes on VidGum can actually act as a filter for fellers such as this. I can only imagine how the average troll responds to “have fun at dinner”, “McG’s penis”, or “roasted chicken”.

            So keep it up, you guys. Let’s paint, exercise, and keep out the trolls.

          • I’m sorry, buddy. My bad. You’re clearly a fucking troll savant. I think that only the very bestest trolls are brought to virtual tears by their detractors. It also really hurt my feeling when you called me “jerkface,” so you’ve got that razor wit going for you, too. Now, really, I don’t want to keep you. Your fingerling potatoes are getting cold.

          • That’s right; I only have one feeling!

          • Please be my defense attorney.

          • no, that job belongs to ms. megan fox, esq.

          • Passerby  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 -15

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • Hey DIAPERFACE. ON THE internet there’s a time AN A PLACE for everything. EXCEPT FOR YOU. YOU ARE not worth THE INTERNET. Please SEE YOURSELF OUT and try again after YOU’VE GROWN the fuck UP.

          • Since you only seem to want to hit reply on my comments, I’ll try to help. Here is a rundown of your excellent points and insights (rebuttals in parentheses):

            -Don’t read this blog post (too late, your comment came after the post)
            -Le Divorce is good for people with non-functioning brains (apparently so, good point)
            -Gabe’s writing is sub-canine (this has been addressed)
            -We are like super stuck up (we are only regular stuck up)
            -An American Patriot and Da Cake Eatur have non-traditional writing styles (indeed, and they received a great deal of grief about it when they joined)
            -I am a jerkface (that hit home, as my face has been slow grilled with Jamaican spices)
            -You are oppressed for being a free-thinker (because obviously oppression means having people disagree with something you say, and free-thought is what happens when you turn off your brain)
            -We probably didn’t like Transformers 2 (I haven’t seen it, but some of us have)
            -You know all of our political opinions because we are sheeple (you know nothing about us)
            -You don’t understand the references that I am making (evidence that you know nothing about us)

            Your gender is irrelevant, but kuhdooz to Hopper for correctly identifying sexual stereotypes. Ultimately, the problem here is that you are a ridiculously ignorant person whose unwarranted assumptions have blinded you to your own lack of knowledge. You have no idea what you are talking about, and yet you continue to pretend to matter. You can learn about the people in this community by reading the archives or sticking around quietly, you can shut up and go away, or you can continue to be confused and “oppressed”.

            You might consider apologizing to Gabe. I often disagree with him, but he is actually a very talented writer, and there is no call for you to insult him, especially on his birthday.

          • Sheeple? Worst.

          • I totally forgot it was his birthday. Happy b-day Gabe. Though I didn’t think it possible, Passerby is even more The Worst than I originally thought. I hope you have fun, not just at dinner, but at every succeeding meal beyond that. Now if you don’t mind, this sheeple is in some desperate need of a shearing.

          • Kuhdooz to you for being awesome. I hope I didn’t really didn’t come across as a mysogynist asshole for guessing her gender. It was all in good fun.

          • Godsauce for President!!

          • I so fucking called it! But yeah, you got me all figured out. I’m usually out with my buddies from Brokencyde running trains on Rosie Perez look-a-likes.

          • Haha, “I think y’all just shouldn’t judge a movie by it’s blog cover writing about”
            “Guess someone needs to go back to schools!”

            LOL^100

          • “Also, I am a women! “

          • I’m starting to suspect this is ModernMandroid in trollface.

          • Not to sodomize some horse bones or anything, but:
            “you all worship a monkey who mistypes everything”
            “Do you read everything you believe on the internet?”

    • Please remember to turn your brain on when finished with the movie. I don’t think you did.
      Also, if you complain about the writing and grammar of the posts and other commentators, yours better be spotless (surprise: it isn’t).

    • buenosueno  |   Posted on Aug 7th, 2009 -1

      actually, no , a dog can’t do better. i think lindsay already proved that to everyone. bow wow.

  2. Wow, people who don’t know VIdeogum must read the comments and think “This is pretty highbrow stuff”

  3. So did I tell you guys that I began the project of watching every movie made by Merchant Ivory Productions? Well, I didn’t make it very far. I’m hoping that makes me a slightly less monstrous monster.

  4. I really need to start watching more bad movies. I haven’t even heard of Le Divorce. Granted it’s not the kind of movie I should have heard of, life is too short. Can’t wait to see you let Beowulf have it! I suggest LAST DAYS.

    • Last Days is the worst. I wayched it the other night and almost blew MY brains out. Also, awesome gif.

      • I’d urge you to watch it again. You’re invited into a character on a deeper level than you are in most other films. I hated it the first time (probably for the same reasons as you), but when I watch it now, it’s suspenseful, melancholy, and almost painful to watch (in a good way).
        I also never got the hate for Gerry. Oddly enough, Milk is the first Van Sant film I’ve been disappointed with since Finding Fucking Forrester. Dustin Lance Black for best screenplay? Are you fucking kidding me?! He had legions of uncredited rewrites on that excuse for a story and he thanks not a fucking one in his acceptance speech?
        Not to mention the previous year’s acknowledgment of Diablo Goddamn Cody as the finest screenwriter of the year, home skillet. Sometimes I hate this fucking industry.

        • Thank you. Dustin Lance Black was clearly the worst aspect of Milk, writing terrible words and awful scenes (wheelchair kid? Excuse my vomit). The reason that movie isn’t a terrible failure is due solely to the actors (Brolin in particular creates a whole character out of Black’s nothing stereotype) and Van Sant, who made a better movie last year with Paranoid Park.

          Haven’t seen Last Days though, as Michael Pitt is in it.

        • While I’m definately a fan of Van Zant in general, I’m not a fan of his films from this particular period (Last Days, Gerry, Elephant). Also, I hate Michael Pitt and Nirvana is one of my favorite bands ever. So this film will never do it for me. But I’m with you on Milk, which I didn’t think was horrible, and Black’s script, which actually was horrible. Penn and Brolin really saved the movie for me.

        • I agree about “Last Days” having a bigger effect second time around. It’s untraditional and I think the point of the story is that you (the viewer) is always at the periphery. You are “around” the Cobain character, and you see his world, but you never get to know him, and as such, no explanations are even offered. It was almost like walking in someone else’s dream. But yeah, Michael Pitt is not the greatest, and I think it’s because he has only one feeling.

  5. That’s it. I am sending back the Thomas Lennon-look-alike’s sperm and getting a whole gallon of William H. Macy-look-alike.

  6. If you’ll notice, Kate Hudson’s handbag tried to strangle her right before she threw it off of the Eiffel Tower, which would have been a much more satisfactory ending than the following three minutes of nonsense.

  7. Maybe you would have enjoyed this movie more if you spent a lovely summer with a French family during your late teens/early 20s.

    • mais oui! i have done ziss vehry sing– but any movie set in paris will get the job done. therefore, i can reminisce just as well while watching an androgynous korean ninja destroy le tour eiffel in this summer’s latest army recruitment ad– er, i mean– blockbuster, g.i. joe.

  8. The movie was much better in IMAX 3-D; that was how the filmakers intended it to be seen.

  9. On the contrary, I’d be surprised if anyone of the income bracket this movie attempts to depict is terrible interested in it.

    I think, rather, that the film caters to those of us still reaching for the lifestyle suggested by these scenes. Imagine, instead, a young woman chortling at the laptop screen in her studio apartment while she brushes the crumbs of a Starbucks muffin off her sweatshirt.

    But, anyway, I’ve seen the movie and its boring. But I’m not sure “its about rich people problems and rich people are spoiled” is a fair critique. Upper-Middle Class Ennui may be a sort of luxury commodity in the Suffering Market, but, hey, we’re all trying to get through the day, amirite?

  10. this movie was like a high school reunion in which it turns out every one you truly hated and wished ill owns a billion dollar painting.

  11. It’s 2009 and your male lead is none other than Matthew Modine?

  12. Could you do American Dreamz someday? That movie was horrible! And even when you know it’s supposed to be a satire, it is still horrible!

  13. Gabe, I love your political correctness right before you go for the kill.

  14. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  15. Currently in my fridge: One bottle of post-birthday champagne, on its side, middle shelf. I am totally TEH FRENCH.

  16. Happy 63rd Birthday, Gabe!



    *off to read this post*

    • DAMN. YOU made that? IMPRESSIVE!

      • took me all day to e-bake (it didn’t). everyone gets a piece.
        AND THIS IS A PARTY! DIDN’T YOUR PARENTS EVER TEACH YOU ALL TO BRING SOMETHING TO A PARTY???
        Gabe gets all the gifts and cakes.

    • This must mean i have the same birthday as gabe, essentially meaning me and gabe= ))<>((

      • DUDE THAT SHIT is gross IF ITS ONLY ONE OF you POOPING on the other. YOU GOTTA get your POOP ON IN both directions, DON.

      • yes i did the failed version on purpose, i refuse to use wizardry to do something we are ENTITLED TO!

        • Now SON, I’m GONNA SIT you down for A SECOND, but I DON’T want you TO THINK this is personal now, YOU HEAR? NOW I like you. YOU GOT a good background. A real PICK YOURSELF up by yer bootstraps and make something OF yourself. I like that. I can RESPECT THAT even, but boy you must HAVE BEEN IN the Liberal North too LONG IF you’re starting TO THROW around ideas like “entitlement.”

          The only THING YOU’RE entitled to in this GREAT COUNTRY is Freedom (TM). Everyone HAS THAT. Okay? So GABE HAS the freedom to let the LAWNMOWER MAN do as the LAWNMOWER MAN DOES. Hell, even the Lawnmower MAN HAS THAT freedom to do WHAT HE wants. This is “merica AND WE LIVE how we want, God-WILLING. I think you BETTER remember that next time YOU’RE TELLING Gabe or Scott WHAT THEY have to do FOR YOU or whatever it is. Cause YOU START out on that slippery SLOPE, then one day PEOPLE ARE going to look at your ads and ASK “But why DO I have to pay TO SEE THAT doctor? WHY CAN’T the government just LET ME go? I’m entitled AFTER all!”

          And son, THE DAY that HAPPENS. Well, you won’t BE GETTIN anymore awards, I can TELL YOU THAT much. Because things like TWILIGHT and Entourage will BE ENTITLED to them, just as much.

  17. I got him this shirt!

  18. I hope Lindsay comes back for Gabe’s birthday. Because I hired her for a conjugal visit and she had better be on time.

  19. I would like to nominate Harsh Times. It’s truly a horrible movie.

  20. Ok. My sister loves this movie (I haven’t seen it – but the clips in this post were ENOUGH) and she’s pretty terrible. We went to Paris and Strasbourg, TOGETHER, and now she refuses to eat grocery store croissants because “Once you’ve eaten them in Paris, every imitation is so clearly derivative.” Extrapolate that ridiculous behavior to apply to pancakes, any sort of white sauce, sweet or savory, and my dealings with her in general.
    ksdjfksjdljdkjboppwpovioiseioib,s!!!
    sorry. that was me going crazy. again.

  21. Zut alors! Et puis zuy! Le Divorce looks like le dou dou!

  22. The only 2 Kate Hudson movies worth watching are Almost Famous and How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days.

  23. I haven’t been this upset since that old woman threw that piece of jewelery into the ocean. I mean FUCK that was Hermes.

    • courtney  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 +2

      I hear that. And what was up with the sad sappy French music in the end? That’s something else to keep you barfing. Still nominating ‘How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.’

  24. justthecrust  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 -3

    Hey Tom Lennon is in this movie. Can’t be all bad.

  25. I have three thoughts!
    (1) They did a Find/Replace using ?Handbag? and ?Forest Gump Feather?. You got to give it up for them for figuring out Find/Replace would work in Adobe Premiere.

    (2) Also: Ha ha ?Loaf of Bread Press?. Why didn?t they go with ?Arc de Triomphe Made Out of Brie Press? or maybe ?I am Topless on the Beach But I Don?t Shave My Armpits Talk About Mixed Messages Qu’est-ce que c’est Press?. (That would have been less fakey.)

    (3) I like how the older guy keeps having to touch Kate Hudson?s hand to see what she?s thinking because the aforementioned plastic face makes it too hard to figure out what?s going on in her head? Maybe if you spend enough time with Kate Hudson you develop really strong extrasensory abilities like blind people? Maybe Owen Wilson has these abilities now and it makes it hard whenever he hangs out with Ben Stiller and that?s why we had all that unpleasantness? I hope he is OK now He seems pretty great in general?

  26. Derelict  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 +8

    On the internet, nobody can tell you’re a dog.

  27. Stella  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2009 +6

    Ok, I’ve never been to Paris so pardon my ignorance, but as someone forced into consuming tortiere every Christmas my entire life, I was under the impression it was a strictly Quebecois dish. And also most definitely not pronounced tore-tea-ere. Having such pretentiousness stuffed down your throat is bad enough, but from Kate Hudson it’s really kind of unbearable.

  28. Ugh, is this what poor people think like? I never should have left goop.

  29. Down to You!

  30. Wow, Gabe looks really young for his age.

    I nominate The Invisible!

  31. Color of Night  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -3

    Le Divorce is pretty bad, but you could conceivably ignore it. In this world of fast food and one-night stands, there’s so much more suck that Color of Night(1994) can provide for you. See it with rose-colored glasses on, it won’t matter. It’s the worst, I had to watch some Moonlighting reruns afterwards just to get to normal.

  32. Color of Night  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 +1

    Le Divorce is pretty bad, but you could conceivably ignore it. In this world of fast food and one-night stands, there’s so much more suck that Color of Night(1994) can provide for you. See it with rose-colored glasses on, it won’t matter. It’s the worst, I had to watch some Moonlighting reruns afterward just to get to normal.

    • Color of Night is so awesomely awful that there’s no way it qualifies. It would be like Gabe writing about The Room for WMAOT. The Room with an hour of sex scenes and a hilariously convoluted plot that includes (but isn’t limited to) suicide, colorblindness, murder, sex, therapy, murder, sex, therapy, transsexuals, murder, and sex. And murder. And Brad Dourif. And Scott Bakula.
      Color of Night is absolutely the undisputed shit.

      • Color of Night  |   Posted on Aug 12th, 2009 0

        You forgot Lance Henriksen! And there’s some Ruben Blades action there as well.
        Color of Night is a movie that you love to hate while you’re watching it, but it’s still very hateable. I would say that it’s the shit, but it’s also… shit.

  33. le no

  34. anom  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -3

    vicky christina barcelona is shitty in the exact same way, well put. for other reasons too (lookin at you mr. narrator)

  35. GiantBugs  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 0

    Buffalo ’66.

    I don’t think its the worst movie ever, but I’d like to see Vincent Gallo taken to task, and it beats nominating Joe Dirt, which was in the Ark of the Covenant in the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark. True story.

  36. Gabe, please do something from Ron Howard’s filmography. And then do “K-Pax” again. That was funny when you wrote about that movie before.

  37. Ha! This post has beaucoup de zings directed at me. But working as a little serf for a Parisian office full of rich ‘poet’-type good-for-nothing expats, I’d probably find this movie as aggravating as Gabe.

    Also, for the monsters who know so much about him, is the petit Monsieur de la Haye part french? Because this post, the last name, and some other ancient post lead me to believe there’s some gaulois in you, mon cher et adoré Gabriel.

  38. All respek to Gabe, but I don’t think it’s fair to judge this film without having watched Le Courtship, Le Marriage, Le Tough Times, and Le Separation: Attack of the Clones.

  39. LuLu  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 +3

    If only Kate Hudson would let her bangs grow out and stop reading Marie Claire she would be a real girl!!! Life is so simple. Also, thanks for outing French Gabe.

  40. I hope you’re watching Beowulf in 3-D. Because you really won’t get the full amount of awfulness from it if you don’t.

  41. happy go lucky. i threw up in my popcorn about 20 minutes in.

  42. the types of people who like Le Divorce now are the people who in 20 years or so, when they’re middle aged and contemplating re-returning to study to get that art history/french degree, will adore movies like ‘Under the tuscan sun’ whereby a middle aged women, distraught over her divorce/old age are grown up flees to the countryside in France/Italy/Greece and rents a rundown villa/farmhouse/cottage and whilst initially struggling with the locals who don’t accept her comes to fall in love with her carpenter/plumber/local guide who shows her the real ‘european’ meaning of passion and commits to her long term (when clearly one knows that in places like that there’s always some young, hot, easy backpacker floating around who would be a much better option for said young plumber/carpenter/guide)

  43. amy  |   Posted on Aug 4th, 2009 -1

    can i suggest garden state?

  44. Re:>>Now, obviously there are some movies that intentionally test the limits of one’s ability to retain barf”>> HA! BEST QUOTE EVER! Happy Birthday Gabe, if it is indeed your birthday, as some suggest.

  45. I am nominating Because I Said So again. That movie shouldn’t have happened.

  46. Jess  |   Posted on Aug 5th, 2009 0

    I’m nominating “Year of the Dog.” Indy film, but I’m pretty sure John C. Reilly and Peter Sarsgaard elevate the movie to “Hunt…” eligibility, right? Seriously, it’s so awful.

    • Omg, I almost rented that yesterday. (Yes, I still physically rent movies.) Like, I was just randomly drawn to it. That is so weird. It looked horrible, though, so I’m glad I didn’t get it.

  47. Same thing happened to me when I went to Paris. Weird.

  48. Spot on Gabe. This movie is simply too shallow to even address anything that goes on in the script. Like when Naomi Watt’s characters tries to commit suicide. You would think that a pregnant woman with children doing something like that would have a deeper impact on the plot but you’d be wrong. It’s like 3 minutes of the story. Like it’s completely normal and an acceptable reaction to her temporary grief. Awful movie!

  49. NOOOO!!! If Naomi Watts is in it it can’t be bad. Even “The Shaft”. Well, maybe “The Shaft”.

  50. Please please please do Frailty. Bill Paxton will soon become your next “banned from the Hunt” actor, but it’s worth it just this once.

  51. Berno  |   Posted on Aug 8th, 2009 0

    Is there a list of WMOATs in one location? I’d like to nominate and don’t want repeat something that’s already made the cut…. ‘made the cut’ (because it’s an honour they earn.)

  52. alex  |   Posted on Aug 9th, 2009 -1

    Darjeeling Limited is requisite. If not all of Wes Anderson’s films following Rushmore.

  53. alex  |   Posted on Aug 9th, 2009 -1

    Seriously, post-Rushmore Wes Anderson is the worst of the worst of cinema. Trash on the level of Transformers 2.

  54. YOU SHOULD DO THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION. THAT IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE.

  55. anonymi  |   Posted on Aug 10th, 2009 0

    next movie: bride and prejudice. thank me later

  56. “Willow’s Way” is by far the worst movie I’ve ever had to sit through. It makes these movies seem like Oscar winners.

  57. harrison_FuckOff_RD  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2009 0

    ‘Air Force One’ wins hands down. The US President kick1ng a$$ and taking names sprinkled (or flooded) with even more absurd scenes from the White House.

  58. geoff  |   Posted on Aug 13th, 2009 0

    2001: A Space Travesty staring Leslie Nielsen

    as a person who normally loves Leslie Nielsen movies this was the worst movie I have ever seen and I have seen thousands of movies.

  59. Sizz  |   Posted on Aug 13th, 2009 0

    Okay, I am convinced that I saw the worst movie ever made last night: ‘Catwoman’

    Holy fucking shit, I’ve seen some bad movies in my time, but this takes the biscuit and then shites on it.

  60. KT  |   Posted on Aug 16th, 2009 +1

    Has anyone suggested You’ve Got Mail? It’s all about embracing mediocrity–choosing the big chain bookstore over the independent shop, Meg Ryan over Parker Posey, a Nora Ephron movie over a good movie. Plus it’s basically a two-hour commerical for AOL.

  61. The Shiz  |   Posted on Aug 19th, 2009 0

    The worst movie of all time was determined to be “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Bee Gees.” They themselves rebuke the movie. You will gouge your eyes out. It is not for the faint of heart. I know you might say, “But, Shiz, I sat through Xanadu without vomiting once!” That means nothing. At first it’s kind of funny in a sad way, but then you realize – terror has a new name: The Bee Gees!!!

  62. Your mom  |   Posted on Aug 19th, 2009 0

    I think that the worst movie ever made would have to be I, Robot.

  63. Your mom  |   Posted on Aug 19th, 2009 0

    I think that the worst movie ever made would have to be I, Robot.

  64. Obviously, this comment is very late, as I’m just making my way through the tag. I absolutely love this movie lol. I’m completely in the minority, and I know. I love it because it is just so beautifully done and allows me to see Paris in such a way that can’t be replicated unless I’m physically there. I live in Texas, but my parents are French, and I love watching the subtle jokes that poke fun at the French or really subtle nuances of French life that are accurately represented in this movie but that people who aren’t really familiar with it just don’t get or pick up on.

    This is definitely one of those movies that is an escape, and it doesn’t try to be anything more, or pass itself off as anything more. For that, it shouldn’t be considered a bad movie.

    Now…if you want something to mock. The book is way, way worse. “Sexy oncle Edgar” is about 70 and in a wheelchair. And the ending doesn’t come to a head on the Eiffel Tower, but at Euro Disney and it is just…awful.

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