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For months, your friends and family have been very concerned about your well-being. You hardly ever go out anymore, spending almost all of your time holed away in your parents’ basement, up until all hours, hunched over, irritable, putting the finishing touches on your videogame. People who genuinely care about you are like “this is not healthy, you are subsisting on a diet of Cheetos and Diet Red Bull, and your skin is as pale as Robert Pattinson’s naturally hairless armpits. Your eyes are dark-ringed and sunken. There is a smell that comes off you. When was the last time that you took a proper shower? You hardly even bother to turn on any lights while you are down there! You have to turn on lights, you are going to hurt your eyes!” And you just turn to them, with your vampire face, with your bent claw-hands, dust at the corners of your colorless mouth, and you explain to them that such is the life of the computer programmer. “MYST WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY,” you shout.
When they see this trailer for your videogame, they will probably stop giving you such a hard time, genius.
Way better than Grand Theft Bachelor: Rose City, too. More warps! (Thanks for the tips, Deja and Meaghan.)
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fuck it eat the clock too
I will stick to the ET game
This is clearly just a re-hash of Enviro-Bear ’99 with minimal updates. I hate it when they do that because they know Enviro-Bear fans will buy it no matter what.
Those fish look delicious!
But what happens when the hunter comes? Isn’t he going to be upset that you didn’t save him any fish or berries?
Gabe needs to stop making fun of things like this. Just the other day I saw a bear drive his car into a river and crash right into another bear’s car. It was a horrible sight. Fish and berries everywhere, bears roaring at each other over the rushing water.
I’m getting so many flashbacks from last weekend it’s scary. Fuck, I’m never driving while on acid ever again.
..is he in a boat? Or a car? Regardless his suspension seems pretty messed up. I don’t want to live in a world where fish freely rain from the sky and bears drive car/boats.
That bear arm looked like Robert Smigel was working it.
It looks like the bear cousin of the ridiculously long-armed man from Find the Fish.
Hmph. Not a Prius in sight. You disappoint me, Enviro-Bear.
I wonder why the production on this was delayed nine years?
Budget cuts, i believe. Massive budget cuts.
Who is driving? Bear is driving? How can that be?
Bear drivers > People drivers.
Amazing, the things you can do with MS paint these days.
Now, I’ve hit a tree and a car while driving, but never before has a fish dropped on my windshield while doing so.
I don’t get it.
for those of you that enjoy peacocking & playing games on public transportation – BUT not at the same time, nerds… This game is great for doing both cause it really is just that ridiculous.
Guy 1 – “Is this an incredible game?”
Guy 2 – “Let me put it this way: Does a bear drive a car in the woods?”
It’s an iPhone app! My friend has it.
I didn’t know wesley willes scored a video game before he died!
The first time he roared I nearly pissed myself with joy.
Da cake eatur and me played dis all afternoon. He wun.
i think this guy is brilliant.
bearz are fuckin stupid.
If anyone’s interested in actually playing this monstrosity (and who wouldn’t be?), you can get it here:
http://gamejolt.com/freeware/games/enviro-bear-2000/files/enviro-bear-2000/download/211/233/
It’s probably because I took an Ambien about twenty minutes ago and it’s starting to kick in, but that looks very, very fun. I just wish he’d eat more of the stuff on the dashboard. You’re wasting it! You’re not going to be fat enough for winter!
You took an Ambien at 3:50 AM? Dude. If you’re going to cure insomnia 1) get the fuck off the computer and 2) Take the Ambien earlier than 3:50 AM. I’m sure you now know that you will be asleep until noon.