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A robot that zoomed along through the hallways of a modern shopping mall used to just be the stuff of FANTASY and LEGEND. “It will never happen,” the politicians and naysayers used to say (and naysay?). Well guess what, politicians and naysayers. It did ever happen. The future is here. Well, not here exactly, but the future is in Japan.
Did you know that in Japan they have heated toilets? HEATED TOILETS! But that is beside the point. The point is that what if lightning strikes the shopping mall one night? And a surge of electricity shuts down the central computer? You know, the central computer that CONTROLS ALL THE ROBOTS? What then?
I will tell you what then:
They will become KILLBOTS, duh. And then you will have roving packs of KILLBOTS, all over the mall!
For years it has been ridiculous that Chopping Mall was not available on DVD, but now it is actually a NATIONAL SECURITY ISSUE. We need to know how to defend ourselves against the machines. Obviously, hiding out in the Mattress Store won’t save us!
Chopping Mall DVD Graduate!
Waitress, more butter! (Japanese Mall Robot video via TrendHunter.)
UPDATE: Apparently Chopping Mall is already available on DVD. Whoops! Well, good news! We can all sleep A LITTLE EASIER now. Either at home, or in the Mattress Store.
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Are we really going to rehash the whole “Chopping Mall is on DVD now” discussion? Sorry Gabe, but it is.
Killbots? Is this a SPOILER for the next True Blood episode?
That lady is a jerk.
This seems like a set-up. I’m not biting, Gabe.
All your Crate & Barrel are belong to us. (apologies)
http://www.amazon.com/Chopping-Mall-Angela-Aames/dp/B0002DB5PO
Nevermind. *Hangs head in shame*
Heated seats don’t appeal to me. It makes me think someone was sitting there for a longtime before me. Who wants that?
So Paul Blart: Mall Cop dies in the sequel and they turn him into a cyborg?
It’ll be just him and me, and don’t forget the robot. Let’s go to the mall everybody!
As slowly as that robot moves, it should be talking on a cell phone, smell like Tommy Hilfiger perfume, and be in my way.
How did she lose her pants now?
HA!
Seeing it here in Sacramento this Saturday at Midnight WITH the director of the film there.
GOnna be dooope
THE FOUR LAWS OF ROBOTICS:
1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. Stay out of the food court.
I’ve always wanted to have a big sex party in a shopping mall where we can all get naked, but I’ve always just been too darn afraid of killbots blowing my head up
I own chopping mall on DVD. KILL BOTS rule!
but why are they dressed up like football players?
I saw a scientist on TV explain that fears of catching diseases from toilet seats are usually unfounded because germs can’t survive on the cold surface of the toilet. Thank you, Japan, for making toiled seat VD exchange a reality.
Also, our buttcheeks are generally cleaner than our hands.