juggalos_gathering.jpg

This is INCREDIBLE. A 14-minute infomercial for the Lillith Fair of garbage monsters. “It feels like what it feels like for a Muslim to visit the holy land of Mecca.” The second half of this video alone will basically juggablow your mind. Watch all of it.

You should hire DJ Clay and Sugar Slam to host the infomercial about your Bar Mitzvah. They’re juggagreat. But you have not lived until you have been on a HAYRIDE with a bunch of drunk dudes in clown makeup who smell like Denny’s. Stilt walkers?! A truly magical time with people just like you. There is sex in the air, DON’T DOUBT IT.

“Magicians and hypnotists walking around that shit.”
–Your Tombstone

Whatever, it’s the Juggalos world, we just make fun of the Juggalos in it.

While everybody else was busy acting like they were above gems such as “Bugz On My Nutz,” Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope were forging a media empire for their base of extremely devoted followers, the Juggalo Family–sort of like a rap-alliance between Deadheads and the KISS Army. The Family spread rapidly across the poorer swaths of the Midwest and established a huge and more or less self-sufficient underground with its own distribution network, porn, churches (seriously), charities, file-sharing services, anti-drunk-driving coalition (JADD), initiatory secret society, GLBT activist, pro- and backyard-wrestling circuits, and two MySpace variations (ninjaspace.net and the possibly defunct myjuggalospace.com).

(Via Vice.)

Look, I am all for people feeling like they are part of a family. But needless to say, WHOOPS, that’s your family.

Have fun at your Gathering, you guys. Don’t get raped. (Video via Ted Leo.)

Comments (160)
  1. katie  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +9

    “head explodes”

  2. Sugar Slam has fantastic comic timing.

  3. So many face-painters all in one place; finally a gathering where David Puddy can just be himself.

  4. When my cousin that’s in jail now was twelve, he totally loved ICP comic books and thought the world would end after their sixth album or something because of that whole invented mythology. It’s weird how some people can start robbing you for drug money when they hit 16 and you’re like, “you know, I think he’s really staring to pull it together.”

  5. i bet a good 75% of the attendees are ex-amish kids going through the rumspringa from hell.

  6. I am pretty sure Sugar Slam doesn’t have the slightest clue what she is saying. She is just going through the motions. “Kicking the fego!” What the hell does that even mean?
    And when she says “motherfucking” it is like when you are 12 and you type in swear words to a text-to-voice interface.

    • faygo! it’s a soda. michigan. you wouldn’t get it.

      • i can only apologize for being from canada so much.

        you’re all monsters.

        • Faygo Red Rock Soda  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +20

          Indeed. I’m from Michigan too, and as a result I’ve had the unfortunate experience of losing an argument about whether the Dark Carnival is a legitimate religion. Not because I was wrong, but because the people I was talking to were loud, stoned louts who outnumbered me. I am pretty sure they are all dead or in prison.

          By the way, thanks for being such a great neighbor, Canada!

      • booruns  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +45

        FAYGO: THE THIRST MUTILATOR

  7. southern illinois is the perfect place for this. don’t ever go to southern illinois.

    also, sugar slam needs an insulin shot. her energy seems a little low (either that or she’s there ironically and somehow managed to infiltrate the juggalow culture as a social experiment).
    and some of this music seems a bit tame, no?

  8. Yes! I listened to Tom Scharpling and PFT talk about this for two hours last night, and it may have changed my life. Now, where can I get some Faygo?

  9. also, this definitely seems like the kind of post that will bring out en masse the unregistered commenters that don’t know how to spell. I’m calling it.

  10. Matt  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +60

    I do not want to go to there.

  11. This is why they call them fly-over states. Or maybe I’m just a neden hole. (I didn’t look it up. I’m not going to look it up).

  12. Evan  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +49

    I’m pretty sure all these bands consist of the same fat white guy in kiss make-up.

  13. Gregorious II  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +12

    Clown Mythology, really? Is “IT” considered a holy book?

    Really, Shaggy 2 Dope? Really?

  14. I don’t know, guys. Those helicopter rides looked pretty crazy. And seminars!

  15. “It’s not really a battle. It’s more like a showcase of skill. A rare demonstration of devastation, if you will.” Oh, I won’t

  16. Juggalo porn?

    I pray I never ever even see a screencap of that on the internet. Just shut everything down. Let’s fix this internet.

    • seriously. that vice article is intense. role playing games, porn, weird ruminations about theology, gratuitous use of the word “titties”- it’s like juggalos are the voltron of everything bad about america. and i am afraid.

    • You should know that this comment has caused this post to be the #2 google result for “juggalo porn”. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

  17. I think we all enjoy the music of Twiztid and playing the Neden Game (siiiiiiiick!), but I draw the line at eating burgers made by a dude named Shaggy 2 Dope.

  18. “Woo Woooooot!”
    -Sugar Slam’s Tombstone

  19. Steven  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 -6

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  20. This is my favorite post ever. I didn’t ever think I’d sit through a fourteen minute youtube video. Who are these people? Why are Ice Cube and JJ Walker and Vanilla Ice and Pauly Shore attending? It’s literally a gathering for people in clown makeup and the morbidly obese. They should just rename it that. How confused would they be if Radiohead got on stage and started playing?

  21. woozefa  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +18

    i hope they all drink gasoline. not to become better or stronger but, you know, for what drinking gasoline would actually do to them.

  22. “for all you hungry asses out there, yes we have food and plenty of it, all over that bitch.”

    it’s like spock learning to use curse words in star trek IV.

  23. They sold me with “PLENTY OF FOOD!” I’m there!

  24. What if I need a minute to gather my thoughts. Is there a designated area where there ISN’T “shit poppin off”?

  25. Karaoke? Scavenger Hunts? Bouncy Boxing?

    That isn’t my Gathering. It’s my After Prom.

  26. Nice to see JJ Walker finally put on a little weight.

  27. Last summer, on the way to my bus, I had to cross through a horde of these people (I refuse to use the term juggalo because I am an adult) waiting for a concert. It was simultaneously the funniest thing that’s every happened to be and most terrifying thing I’ve ever witnessed. I was deeply, deeply afraid, not for my safety, but from the sheer fact that people like this exist.

    That said, I still want to go to this thing, if only for “some dudes on stilts”.

  28. Dan  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +42

    They spell their words differently than me.

  29. Is “ninja” supposed to be synonymous with the n-word?

  30. While watching this, during the close up of Violent J I couldn’t help thinking: When he’s with a woman does he wear the clown make up? And is she even aware or is she too chloroformed up to care?

  31. We should help Sugar Slam. It seems like she was kidnapped by the Juggalos and is now exhibiting symptoms of Stockholm syndrome.

  32. Ice Cube? you’re better than this! Giant Water Slide, you are BETTER THAN THIS. Vanilla Ice, you are appropriate.

    At first I thought, let these juggaloos live their lives! Everyone is allowed their sweaty music fest fun times! Then Insane Clown Posse got up in my face with his ridiculous family/mecca chatter. Get out of my face, Clown.

  33. puddy77  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +56

    At about the 3:50 mark, Sugar Slam says “this is like the Grammys for these boys,” referring to the entire Psychopathic Records family being together on stage. But aren’t the Grammys actually the Grammys for these boys? Don’t the boys at Psychopathic Records make music? I am unfamiliar with their oeuvre, but I imagine they make something someone may consider music.

  34. jac  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +2

    make sure and read the vice article. shit is nuts

  35. At 1:36, they use a shot of a swarm of disease-carrying insects as a selling point. You know, maybe this is a good thing after all.

  36. Holy fucking hell! I’ve heard about the ICP and all the crazy that surrounds them, but this is really remarkable. Motherfucking scavenger hunts! Fucking dope-ass Tilt-A-Whirls! I can’t even get my head around who’s into this stuff. Don’t get raped! Now that’s news you can use.

  37. ModernMANdroid  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +13

    EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED!!!! I can’t belive I watched all 14 minutes, but I’m glad I did. I was so hyped for the festival that I wouldn’t have known about the SEMINARS!!! And the top comics on the comedy stage like Rowdy Roddy Piper. He is HILLARIOUS!
    Seriously, though, during the first 3-4 minutes I wondered “Does the I.C.P. and their record label have a bunch of similar acts to fill this bill? And if so, do they all wear black and white ‘clown’ makeup?” … and they do

  38. A DJ battle that?s not really a battle but more like a showcase of skill? I’m there. Also, I?m guessing the G in the GLBT Juggalo posse is a little underrepresented.
    P.S. Gabe? Methheads in helicopters, and no Bad Idea Jeans tag?

  39. Why isn’t this included with the bonus features on my “Idiocracy” DVD? Cus this is a deleted scene from “Idiocracy” and not a real thing that exists, right guys? Please. If this is real I’m gonna go crawl in a neden hole and call it a life.

  40. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Oh give me a fucking break. ICP are some the most full of shit cult leaders in the history of cult leaders who are full of shit. They “rap” about beating up women and then “rap” about how you shouldn’t beat up women, or they’ll beat you up.
      It would be one thing if they were just terrible artists with a lot of fans, that’s not uncommon, but they’re tricking these poor little juggalos into thinking that their music is meaningful and that they should live their lives according to it.
      I wish I could help you out with your delusions of grandeur and get you to acknowledge that you just really like some shitty band. It’s fine to like shitty bands, but I don’t pretend the shitty bands I like have some kind of grand world philosophy. Fucking Dark Carnival. Wow.

  41. natali  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +18

    Wait, what?

  42. benjamin c  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 -15

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  43. There were two kids in my high school who were hardcore Juggalos; had every album, knew every song, would paint their face whenever they could. One started a rap group called the Nocturnal Ninjas.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfjvGnCf6Vo&feature=player_embedded

    The other is a manager at my hometown Taco Bell.

    Which one made the wiser decision? You be the judge.

  44. Jeff  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +3

    I know quite a few juggalos, unfourtanatley. Just last weekend I ran into a kid I know hanging out w/ his shirt off waiting to fight some other kids who wanted to jump him out of the family and take his hatchet gear. I don’t understand it and probably don’t want to.

  45. Lucky  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +17

    So that fact that this has been held for years means this isn’t just a plow to get them all in one concentrated area in order to wipe them all out at once?
    The world is a disappointing place.

  46. they had me at pauly shore.

  47. I’ve got three words for you Gabe: “Juggalo Double Dog.”

  48. This festival has something for the disenfranchised fat rapist in all of us.

  49. I just spend the last hour rummaging through ICP, Twizted, Anybody Killer(ah) et. al music videos on YouTube.

    Thanks Gabe.

  50. so basically, these kids are going to put on halloween make up, jump into a time machine and travel back to the 90s?

  51. So Ted Leo is a Juggalo, eh? I just knew there was a clown-faced rapist lurking underneath his agitprop-drenched exterior.

  52. The tone throughout this infomercial is wonderfully uneven. It goes from polite to rude in a heartbeat. Eloquent to gibberish is a split-second. Either this group is extremely self-aware or they have a great sense of humor. Horrible taste in music, but great sense of humor.

  53. vanilla ice, pauly shore and magical wicked shit, you promise? tha hatchet is coming DOWN! i’m planning on getting a giant juggalo backpiece tattoo so i never get charged for future gatherings. *walks up to ticket booth and flashes tattoo*- they would NEVER charge a family member, so its an investment the way i see it.

  54. For those us who thought Hell does not exist, we just got hatcheted down

  55. renaldo  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +22

    Love Train Hay Rides

    make a real connection with a fat single mother of two in greasy clown makeup who reeks of Febreeze

  56. someone send this to the terrorists

    • Daniel  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 +1

      Seconded.

      I’m pretty sure that if the terrorists got their hands (bombs?) on the juggalos, they’d leave everyone else alone.

  57. Finally! A reward for living in Cave-In-Rock,IL! Remember, no smoking near the outhouse! You probably want to steer clear of the meth lab too…

  58. RoxanneLT  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +12

    It’s just… I don’t know what…. I think my brain just melted.
    But Pauly Shore, JJ Walker, and… that other guy is considered stepping UP their comedy game? Who did they have before? Glenn Beck, Carrot Top, and a pet rock?

  59. juggaloco.

  60. Favorite moment @ 10:00. “Calling all FAT kids! It’s time to get paid.”

  61. That’s it. I used to be on the fence, but as of now, I am DONE with MC Chris.

  62. too much to process. too much funny. probably my favorite Videogum find ever.

    “the Human Cannonball. CHECK THIS OUT. this guy is gonna shoot himself out of a cannon THREE TIMES A DAY all weekend long. amazing.” – the hardest working Cannonball in the Biz…

    “the comedy tent for your laugh or HECKLING pleasure.” – don’t get the jokes? RUIN IT FOR OTHERS!

    “there’s a whole slew of good shit going on…Circus Food…all dat” – this should be their tagline.

    i could do this all night. excellent work Gabe.

  63. Soooo many unreported rapes.

  64. grahamorama  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +12

    Andrew WK got booed off the stage at last year’s Gathering: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUOvnbCtnVQ

  65. And shame on them for blatantly copying Pitchfork’s guest list.

  66. krink  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 -1

    is this the white version of bubb rubb and lil sis? Sugar Slam: “Woo – woo!”; Bubb Rubb: “And the whistle goes “Woo-Woo!”
    Truth:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h121VfLPsDo

  67. i bet the psychopathic crew regret using ‘pigtails’ to endorse their Xtreem event.

  68. So, wait. I thought the ICP was one of a kind. But no, we have more than one band of white boy metal rappers running around in face paint? Is this the new black face? I’m confused and disappointed.

  69. Holy shit! Vanilla Ice!
    Seriously though, is someone going to make a documentary of this Heavy Metal parking lot?

  70. Anybody catch the line in the beginning, “the most misunderstood people of all time”?

    Suck it, NAMBLA!

  71. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  72. Awesome Dre  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 +3

    there is so much dialogue in those 14 minutes. all of it hilarious and utterly irrelevant. this is some weird dream. i can’t believe that the gathering is taking place for real, and for the 10th time at that. take a look at the demeanor of those on the Love Train Hay Ride. i couldn’t think of a more unlikely vehicle to act ‘hard’ in/on. amazing. *note to self* firebomb Cave-n-Rock, IL on August 9th. who’s in?

  73. Eric  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 +11

    Is there an on-hand abortion clinic representing society at this failure festival?

  74. I like all the NIGHTMARE FONTS.

  75. Popeye  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 +19

    Bring a tent, sleeping bag… meth, suppressed childhood memories, whatever works for you.

  76. Jon  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 +27

    I’m all for people doing whatever they want, but I feel like like this is an instance where humanity as a whole needs to step in and say, “Hey, you guys, this is not OK.”

    Also, “Expect the unexpected, expect to have fun.” was an unintentional highlight for me.

  77. Blanket question for the Q&A:

    Why are you the way you are?

  78. Waaaaaaiiiit- where are all the Juggalo sympathizers on this post? How is it that Videogum can reach the rightwing nutjobs but not these nutjobs?
    Now that would be a fun comments thread…

  79. If I weren’t afraid of getting raped by hordes of obese, sweaty, Faygo-breathed “ninjas” in clown makeup I would SO go to this.

    Also, Gabe, it’s “Magicians and hypnotists walkin’ around that bitch“. Cos, you know, misogyny.

  80. Danniel  |   Posted on Jul 23rd, 2009 +3

    FUCKING HELICOPTER RIDES? SHIT POPPING OFF EVERYWHERE? GIANT WATERSLIDE? NINJAS JUGGLING FIRE?

  81. VIOLENT J ON THE PHONE? Really Mr. Violent? You couldn’t coordinate your busy clown schedule to go on camera for YOUR festival? You had to literally phone it in?

  82. Haha. “Is that even possible? Guess what, it is possible.”

  83. There’s going to be all kinds of food, including carnival food.

  84. Who among Videogum’s readership is going chicken hunting? (Ahhh ICP references from 1993, glad to see they’re still valid. My LOL(k) is in such good shape because ICP started so long ago.)

  85. i just watched this for the 5th time. it’s still hilarious.

  86. Sigh  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2009 +9

    I was on the fence about attending this year until Ms. Slam informed us that THEY HAVE OUTHOUSES!!!

    I guess I’ll believe it when I see it.

  87. I don’t know whether to be in awe or disgusted. Either way, it’s still hilarious. 10th annual gathering of white trash. Fuck. I can’t believe this event is real. WOOT WOOOTTT!

  88. Matt  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2009 +4

    Via youtube, your new party game: Six Degrees Between 2009 Gathering of the Juggalos and an Oscar Nominee:

    Gathering of the Juggalos features
    PAULY SHORE
    who starred in Bio-Dome opposite
    STEPHEN BALDWIN
    brother of oscar nominated actor
    ALEC BALDWIN

  89. WhatTheEsh  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2009 0

    I am having an internal debate whether the attendance of this “music” “festival” or the combined IQ’s of DJ Clay and Sugar Slam will be higher. Either way it will be below 150.

  90. Thairy's Magic Orange  |   Posted on Jul 26th, 2009 -10

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  91. At first I was all like “whatever”… but then they said GWAR! and I’m all “awww yeaah!”

  92. Krispo  |   Posted on Jul 29th, 2009 -1

    Is there a link to this Vice article, or should I fly to the US to read it?

  93. If this isn’t a beautiful example of racial harmony, I don’t know what is.

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