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Glenn Beck had a meltdown on his call-in radio program. Good for him!

It’s like a blowhard conservative pundit’s bar mitzvah up in here. NOW BABY GLEN BECK IS A MAN-BABY! Look, I’m not even sure what either of them was saying about health care. It sounded like “blah blah blah France” and “OH YEAH? SCREAM BLAH BLAH SCREAM” to me. The system is broken, but the complications in fixing it are certainly beyond me (and certainly WAY beyond Glenn Beck. Like, I obviously can’t overhaul the health care system to make it more equitable, efficient, and comprehensive for all Americans, but I think that if it came down to the two of us, I might squeak the job out from under Glenn Beck. I am proficient at Microsoft Office ’98!). But I’m pretty sure you cede the high ground every time you squeal like a petulant monster AFTER spending three minutes cooing like a condescending creep. And leave it to a Lil’ Bill O’Reilly in training to turn the whole thing into a plug for his book. As evidence that he was right and just won the argument that you bullied yourself on top of? Because his unpublished book is the world’s premiere resource for facts on the very argument he just cut someone off from having with his goon tactics? What a fucking jerk.

But also, let’s be real honest for a second, how happy is Tom Scharpling over at the Best Show on WFMU that he changed “get off my phone” to “heave-ho” a few months ago? Phewf! That was a close one. (Thanks for the tip, Colin and David.)

Comments (59)
  1. Glen Beck, get out of the public eye…you little pinhead!

    • Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin should be rounded up and dropped into an attention deprivation chamber. And by attention deprivation chamber I mean a well.

  2. ben  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +2

    stop making fun of the little teddy bear!

  3. booruns  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +13

    I was saying boo-urns.

  4. bob snow  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +15

    radiogum?

  5. Evan  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +11

    When Glenn Beck was a baby he must’ve been spoon fed copious amounts of stupid.

  6. World’s Best Freakout kid has some competition, especially in the growling and wailing like a velociraptor department.

    • Santa  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +13

      I think Glen Beck shoved his remote up his ass on the particularly screechy part….and I believe it is still up there.

  7. When I hear Glenn Beck’s voice, I react like Kramer hearing Mary Hart.

  8. Slide for the Baseball Nerds! Thanks, Gabe.

  9. I feel like Glenn Beck is on his period, like, all the time. This is why we can’t have a woman president.

  10. 1. I think you were being a little generous with the “spending three minutes cooing like a condescending creep” comment. More like 30 seconds.
    2. I think “pinhead” is a registered trademark of Bill O’Reiley. Glenn might be crying for real very soon.

  11. B S Green  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +6

    He’s either high or mentally ill; oxycontin ftw

  12. It must be hard to yell like that and still keep the crocodile tears flowing.

    I liked the part when Glenn Beck’s sycophant impersonated the caller to make her sound a haggard she-devil.

    But you know, it’s nice that there are talk radio personalities to keep us safe from the sophistry of the liberal media.

  13. I could write something snarky and witty, but I’m so stunned that I got nothing.

    It was a legitimate question: “Rather than speak in rhetoric, what would YOU actually DO to fix the healthcare system in America?” He had no answer. So he regressed about forty years in about forty seconds.

    I could say “childish” but that is an insult to children everywhere. Absolutely insane.

  14. It’s good to see Glenn Beck tackling that “angry white male” stereotype head-on.

  15. Just another reminder that talking heads aren’t about answers and solutions, they’re about proving how wrong those motherfuckers on the other side are.

  16. Rw  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +1

    As entertaining as they can be if we collectively agree to ignore these ‘Pundits’ they will go away, I promise.

  17. “I’m going to lose my mind!!!!” um . . . way too late for that one Beck. Still not as funny as the O’Reilly meltdown. That will never not be funny.G Beck is just a pain to hear or see.

  18. I like how much of an ass he is to that lady. Isn’t that the secret to proving superiority, to act like a cocky know-it-all who never wrong? I thought so, I should try that, works for him.

  19. He has the defense tactics of a third-grade child. Scrambling for a sensible argument and finding none, he resorts to becoming the human echo? Sure. Fantastic. Why does this man have a show?

  20. Jim  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +2

    i just put him on pseudo-celebrity suicide watch. glen has officially unraveled.

  21. I love how he expects people to respect him as a commentator and all, and then turns around and names his book “Arguments Against the Idiots.”

  22. QED  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +28

    Glenn thinks he knows all the stats and he STILL believes we have a lottery up here in Canada? The only time my doctor refuses to see me is Wednesdays, because that’s his golf day. And, God, I wish I had to wait a year every time he wants me to get a colonoscopy because a week’s notice isn’t enough time for me to prepare for the pain.

  23. It’s just like Bill Maher said, being a conservative this day and age isn’t really about any kind of ideology, it’s just about being a big, stampeding dick.

    • I can’t let that one go. There’s plenty of deep thought happening on the right. Unfortunately the spokespeople that are known are douches like Beck, Hannity and O’Reilly. (O’Reilly is not actually a conservative but a Dick Morris type self promotor/scumbag) People like Thomas Sowell, Ramesh Ponneru and Rich Lowery are very measured and intellectually consistent. American Enterprise Institute, Hoover Institution and The Federalist Society are high level sources of conservative thought and scholarship. Just because Foxnews likes the blowhards doesn’t mean nobody on the right is thinking. Also, for the record, Bill Maher is NOT (props American Patriot) the guy you want to site when talking about thoughtful ideology. . . No big deal we’re all friends here I ain’t mad at ya.

      • WHY DID I just get PROPS?

        • I ALL CAPSed a word. I felt I owed you an acknowledgement, you know copyright ‘n shit. I did not mean in any way to presume any kind of ideological/political opinion of yours. Sorry it wasn’t clear.

      • I see your point, and I should have made the distinction that I personally believe it takes at least a little dickishness to be a conservative, and that I should have said Republican instead of Conservative as that is unfair to the numerous people who are genuinely conservatives (small gov’t, more power to states) as opposed to the politicians who act like “right wing nut jobs” (I put this in quotes because I don’t really think any conservatives are insane) in order to garner attention or support. I can respect conservative ideals, but to me the Republican party appears to be too big business for people who claim to be gunning for small businesses (entrepreneurs). I personally do not support either party as I don’t think they have our best interests in mind. I mean what it breaks down to is to campaign as a Rep you have to be a dick and to campaign as a Dem you have to be smug and promise the world. Besides, they are all accepting paychecks from the same corporations, aren’t they?

        As with all generalizations, I wasn’t 100% correct or accurate, but I do think Bill Maher is a good point of reference when looking for words to express how you feel about government in general; if you are Liberal and anti-establishment like myself. Though he is liberally biased, he doesn’t pretend to like everything the Democrats do either. You could say Bill and I are both far left guys. The difference being I don’t support Israel, and I refuse to side with Liberals just for the sake of opposing Conservatives; which I guess you could say Bill is somewhat guilty of.

        I would be interested in hearing why you think he isn’t thoughtful however. I mean I get that he is brash and offensive, that’s part of his shtick. I’m genuinely interested in your thoughts on that.

  24. Fucking child. And why were the other people on the radio station so fine with him have a temper tantrum? It was like business as usual. Man if I saw him on the streets, I would assault him.

  25. You have to admire Glenn Beck’s ability to recover his senses and use this freakout to push his new book. I have it on good authority that he also did this at his “stand-up comedy” show that actual people paid money for. Like if Harry Potter turned to you at the end of Half Blood Prince and was all “and if you BUY THE BOOK VERSION,” you get even more wizard stuff!

  26. my dad watches his show all the time, and i dont know if this counts as a break down, because he’s not much calmer than that in general.

  27. ModernMANdroid  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +2

    Please keep bashing Beck. Unfortunately, I can’t watch/listen to the clips because I just get livid and steam comes out of all my orifices, which as you can imagine, is pretty embarrassing should anyone else be around me. Three people I would strangle to death if they were in a room with me:
    Glen Beck
    Ann Coulter
    Tucker Carlson

    Can we pllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease create a death match with these 3 where they have to kill each other to win, then we change the rules and kill the winner.

    PLEASE?

  28. You should hear how he talks to the people calling in to win concert tix. Total psycho.

  29. WHAT a DOUCHECHILL. FUCK. Who the HELL YELLS like that?! If you’re GOING TO freak out AT LEAST DO it like A MAN, GLENN Beck!!

  30. Gaga  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +31

    My favorite part was when he yelled at that lady.

  31. Favorite part:

    “I”M GIVING YOU A LOGICAL ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!”

  32. arthur great  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +30

    Gabe: I am proficient at Microsoft Office ’98!.
    Glenn: Oh, tra la la.
    Gabe: But I’m pretty sure you cede the high ground –
    Glenn: Riiiight, the high groo-ound.
    Gabe: — every time you squeal like a petulant
    Glenn: Oh, I’m soooo petulant. You know so ma-any wor-rds…
    Gabe: — monster AFTER spending three minutes cooing like a condescending creep.
    Glenn: I’m such a creep, I kno-ow.
    Gabe: And leave it to a Lil’ Bill O’Reilly in training –
    Glenn: Yeah, I’m training (makes jerk off motion, is still on the radio)
    Gabe: –to turn the whole thing into a plug for his book.
    Glenn: You are sooooOOoo right. All I care about is my book, la die do deedle…
    Gabe: As evidence that he was right and just —
    Glenn: Oh, no I was wrong. You’re so smart!
    Gabe: –won the argument that you bullied yourself on top of?
    Glenn: Oh, I’m rea-al sorry for bull-e-ing you.
    Gabe: Because his unpublished book is the world’s premiere resource for facts on the very argument he just cut someone off from having with his goon tactics? What a fucking jerk.
    Glenn: You’re right. I’m a big jerk. Let me tell you something, Gabey. BLAAAAAAAAH. STUPID STUPID STUPID. BOOGABOOGABOOGA YOU IDIOT!
    Glenn’s producer: I know, right?

  33. at least most of the glenn beck/rush limbaugh/ bill o’reilly generation of followers will be dead in somewhere around 30 years.

  34. Banshee (Glenn Beck) is a Marvel Comics superhero, a member of the X-Men. Created by writer Roy Thomas and artist Werner Roth, he first appeared in X-Men #28 (January 1967).

    An Irish mutant, Banshee possesses a “sonic scream,” capable of harming enemies? auditory systems and causing physical vibrations. He is named after the banshee, a legendary ghost from Irish mythology, said to possess a powerful cry, although the banshee spirit is invariably female, something the character’s creators were unaware of.

    A former Interpol agent and NYPD officer, Banshee was always a decade older than most of the X-Men and had only a relatively short tenure as a full-time X-Man. He was, however, a mentor of the 1990s-era junior team Generation X.

  35. brett  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 +1

    He has no voice on his show today, like he spent all morning screaming at the top of his lungs. Oh, wait.

  36. canative  |   Posted on Jul 16th, 2009 -51

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Man. This would have been such a fair and contributive comment; a welcome addition to the conversation. And then you said “Barney Frank the gay one,” and it’s just, like, shut the fuck up. And also get out of here. Forever.

      Oh, and you spelled your boyfriend’s name wrong. There are two n’s in Glenn. And it’s senator Harry REID.

      You really are the worst in lots of different ways!

      • Why is this not the highest-rated comment of the week?

      • eric  |   Posted on Jul 20th, 2009 -24

        Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • You don’t have to be a liberal to make fun of Glenn Beck. I have no politics. Not moderate or independent or whatever phony words some liberals use when they pretend not to be Democrats. I have a few opinions, none of them strong and hardly any of them informed.

      But it’s Glenn Beck, man. They guy is a big bag of “Uh… what did he say?” I’ve been in mental hospitals with more calm, collected people. (That’s right… I’ll cut y’all bitches.)
      Harry Reid and Barney Frank aren’t really my cup of tea, but there’s a marked difference between thoughtful people with whom we disagree and raving, drooling demagogues.

      But at least he’s not a gay!

    • I agree that Reid and Frank are terrible but really Frank isn’t bad because he’s gay. He’s bad because he helped get our country into this financial mess with his “oversight” of lending institutions. But that’s a different argument.

      Didn’t you see my right wing attack on Beck et. al? They (and unfortunately you too) make more thoughtful conservatives look bad and make it harder for us to have a decent discussion because we have to disavow your stupid bullshit the whole time.

      • yeah, i’m a very far left, san francisco type and it’s hard being taken seriously when you’re trying to get your opinions heard over the ‘free mumia’ demonstrations and the papier-mache puppet parades and ex-hippies who won’t stop singing ‘give peace a chance’ together.
        yes, let’s DO free mumia (if he deserves it. i don’t even know what the deal is with that) and let’s DO give peace a chance and i guess it’s okay to make gross giant puppets if that’s how you want to express yourself, but can we please do that AFTER we make our well-considered, informed opinions known?
        because ‘free mumia’ isn’t an opinion that’s helpful with ending the war in iraq or bringing the troops home or solving the health care thing. and the puppets and the juggling and the weird ‘die ins’ make us lefties look like idiots.
        so, yeah.
        you’re not alone.

  37. Phuturist  |   Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • arthur great  |   Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 +7

      See? The rightwingers DON’T have a monopoly on simple-minded douchebags.

    • Well, so nice of you to give your well thought out position. Do you even have an idea of why more gov’t will make things better? If you actually read what Lowery, Ponneru, and Sowell wrote you would know that they not only point out where the left is wrong but suggest conservative policies to deal with the problems in their fields. Since you wrote a response I must assume you are able to read, you can read too can’t you? It’s funny that you insult me that my side has no ideas when you don’t seem to have any yourself. If I’m mistaken I’d be glad to hear what you have to say.

  38. Jim F  |   Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 -9

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  39. “Get off my phone,” is the new, “Get off my plane.”

  40. tinsley  |   Posted on Jul 20th, 2009 -8

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  41. Len Beck  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 +1

    yeah this bitch was annoying.
    good for glen or shutting her the fuck down!!!!
    no one better delete this comment this time-censorship is NOT FUCKING COOL.
    WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT COOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL ME TINSLEY ABOUT THE CENSORSHIP?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HANG ON LET ME MAKE SURE I UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLEN BECK WOULD NEVER CENSOR SOMEONE. THAT NEVER HAPPENS THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TINSLEY, GET OFFFFFF MY SITE!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OFFF MY SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By The way I have a book coming out in September, which is the best book I’ve ever done.

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