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Music Video Director: So, Beyonce, do you have any ideas for your new music video?
Beyonce: Yes. How about me and two other women doing a choreographed dance in black and white.
Music Video Director: That sounds an awful lot like the “Single Ladies” music video.
Beyonce: Yes, I want to make the “Single Ladies” video again, exactly the same. That video did very well.
Music Video Director: You can’t just make the “Single Ladies” video again.
Beyonce: They parodied that video on Saturday Night Live.
Music Video Director: I know that, but you have to make a new video.
Beyonce: Fat people danced to that video in their living rooms and put it up on YouTube.
Music Video Director: Yes. That was almost a year ago. Any new ideas?
Beyonce: What if we made the “Single Ladies” video but it was in color instead of in black and white.
Music Video Director: Now you are talking!
Beyonce: Do you know anyone who is terrible at Photoshop?
Music Video Director: I do!
Beyonce: So we make the “Single Ladies” video but in color, and we put in a really awful, just dreadful Photoshopped landscape in the background.
Music Video Director: Keep going! You’re on ideas fire!

Beyonce: At about 37 seconds into the video, I want a tiny CGI horse to run across the background.
Music Video Director: Great!
Beyonce: But barely perceptible.
Music Video Director: OK.
Beyonce: BARELY PERCEPTIBLE, THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME THAT YOU BASICALLY NOT EVEN SEE THE CGI HORSE.
Music Video Director: Got it.
Beyonce: A whisper of a CGI horse. A dream.
Music Video Director: Yes, Beyonce.
Beyonce: Later in the video I want to wear a gold outfit that looks like it is from the future today, but will look dated and embarrassing in less than three years.
Music Video Director: We can do that.
Beyonce: How long do you think it will take to make this video, and how much do you think it will cost?
Music Video Director: I need 45 minutes and 17 dollars.
Beyonce: You can have 30 minutes and 12 dollars.
Music Video Director: Deal.

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Comments (39)
  1. Oh no! You revealed Sony’s dark music video secret and shamed them into taking the video down. Now the whisper of a CGI horse can really only run in my dreams.

  2. Lux  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 +1

    anticlimax! (damn sony)

  3. “This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Sony Music Entertainment.”

    See, even they’re embarrassed.

  4. Wow, you weren’t kidding about that horse. I actually had to go back to the beginning and look for it at 37 seconds because I flat-out missed it the first time. It’s like a music video easter egg.

    Also, needs more lens flare.

    • Michael  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 +10

      I wonder if anyone on her management team is over 40?

      Lemme tell ya, kid, there was this guy named Robert Palmer. Guy made the exact same video three times over. “Addicted to Love.” “I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On.” “Simply Irresistable.” And the people ATE. IT. UP. I tell ya, it’ll make people totally forget you ripped off your song title from the Eurythmics. What? Eurythmics. They were this chick with short hair and guy who never took off his sunglasses…aw, forget it.

  5. This video looks completely fanmade. Like someone won a “Make Beyonce’s Sweet Dreams Video Contest” where Beyonce’s people made available a bunch of green screen video, and someone took scenes from a Final Fantasy video game and put them behind Beyonce, and somehow won.

    She has been calling videos in lately. The “Ego” video was her dancing with 2 dancers as well…

  6. ahah the weird metropolis gold outfit is so random!

  7. Bubbles  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 +8

    That video reminds us that “it’s the pelvic thrusts that really drive you insane-ane-ane…”

  8. Doesn’t that gold suit belong to Dot Matrix from Spaceballs?

  9. brendan  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 -37

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  10. If she’s going to be punching mirrors and sending shards of glass into a zero-gravity environment, she should really wear something more protective.

  11. But why do I still LOVE IT?
    I hate myself.

  12. Stanta  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 +12

    I watched the sharks eating the horse video twice, made it all the way through the arrow through the face once and had to stop this crap at one minute. I guess you know what to do to me if I am ever on Fear Factor.

  13. Here’s a poor replacement: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrCKTQerAWU. The whisper of the CGI horse is the highlight.

  14. I chose to only watch the first 37 seconds of the music video because all I wanted to see was the horse, but oh my God, that half a minute has more mysteries in it than the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey. So she’s having trouble sleeping, which I guess makes sense, and there’s some lullaby playing in the background, which is required for footage of people trying to fall asleep, but then a guitar ‘jams’ the end of the lullaby, and she starts floating, and then a dove comes literally out of nowhere, and all of the sudden she’s on salt flats or whatever, screaming, and she starts moving in reverse or SOMETHING, and two dancers just appear behind her, and then the horse, and by now I’m trying to figure out what was slipped into my coffee.

  15. The “making of” snippet reveals that this was a “collaboration of ideas” between b and the director. Homegirl’s got some cojones to admit to that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il2SqkJ78NE
    OKAY ONE MORE THING: the more info section simply declares, “above and beyonce.”

  16. Huh. I guess 12 dollars is only enough to have a tiny CGI horse run HALFWAY across a ridiculously bad CGI background. Maybe he could have run the full length if she wouldn’t have splured on a solid gold C3PO outfit.

  17. Unlike the Single Ladies video, I will not be watching this one 6 times a day, every day at work for the next 3 months.

  18. Umm, I know you were being rhetorical & heavily cliché there, Beyonce, but I think maybe the answer to your query is “beautiful nightmare.”

  19. this is why Beyonce can make videos for every song on her album (like she did for her last one)…i think it’s pretty smart in terms of business, why sink tons of money into videos that don’t get played on MTV? These quick, low-budget ones still get the attention online regardless of how much they cost.

  20. While this video is indisputably awful, it really doesn’t have much in common with the Single Ladies video other than having two backup dancers. For example, that video was great and this one is indisputably awful.

  21. future boob dance and future hair make me want less future.

  22. Anonymous  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 +1

    Beyonce does not know what “BARELY PERCEPTIBLE” means, let alone say it.

  23. Anonymous  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 +1

    She has been wearing “metropolis” outfits for a few minutes now, it’s really not that random. Played out, yes.

  24. “I Am…Chris Dane Owens”

  25. I think Beyonce’s been getting some heavy leg oiling tips from Goop.

  26. She’s got 99 problems but a whisper horse ain’t one.

  27. If only the song was as good as Single Ladies.

  28. She’s not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she’s a client and because she sleeps above her covers…four feet above her covers.

  29. it's blue  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 +3

    This will be pure gold for the Everything is Terrible of the future.

  30. butterfingers  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 0

    LOL love the c3p0 cameo, genius. nice to see him out of retirement and looking bling as ever. C3P-OG!

  31. Not to be the guy who tries to make sense out of a Beyonce video, but I learned in Psychology that when you’re in REM sleep, pretty much the only part of the sleep cycle where you can dream, your body becomes paralyzed and you are unable to move. So why is Beyonce moving during her “beautiful nightmare”? Now, I know I shouldn’t be shocked that Beyonce didn’t consult a psychologist before filming the beginning clip to her video, but come on, don’t let your dreams of a CGI horse contradict science!

  32. Golden robot outfit: $130
    30 feet of wardrobe-quality aluminum foil: $75
    Terrible, terrible visual effects: $12.75 + one ‘large’ bag of Chee-tohs
    Getting to choreograph 3-person dance routines without worrying the other girls are going to bitch about “getting to sing” or “making creative decisions:” Priceless.

  33. Anonymous  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 0

    Cheetos are Britney’s thing. Damn you Beyonce! Such a stealer and a biter, can’t even help yourself from taking snacks from the more retarded children. SHame on yooooooooooou.

  34. Bryan Harmon  |   Posted on Jul 11th, 2009 -2

    LMFAO!!! Lmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. Gun  |   Posted on Jul 12th, 2009 0

    Hahaha I just watched this for the first time — muted, with Fleet Foxes’ Drops In the River playing in the background. Better than I could have ever imagined.

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