You know who uses dry, ordinary toilet paper? Poor people. Introducing Aaah?, a revolutionary new product that allows you to squirt a dollop of aloe-infused foam onto your toilet paper, making your toilet paper a little bit damp. And it fits in your purse, your gym bag, your lunchpail, your briefcase, your suitcase, your bathroom, your mansion, or your RV. You can take it anywhere. No more being embarrassed by using regular old not-even-a-little-bit-damp-with-aloe-foam toilet paper. And the best part is, you’re not just saving your butt, you’re saving the environment. Supposedly! I think the math works out if you use 10 boxes of Wet Wipes a day. You should definitely stop doing that.
“There’s nothing so common as toilet paper everywhere.”
–Max Appel’s Tombstone
I don’t know how much they paid for those computer graphics showing how Aaah works, but it was too much. This whole thing is an exercise in explaining the obvious. Like, I know how when you put wet stuff on dry stuff it makes the dry stuff also be wet. And I also know what my options are when it comes to carrying around and storing a small bottle. Pro-tip: you will need something larger than the bottle to carry the bottle in, or something flat to rest the bottle on top of. I’m going to invent a protective leather Aaah case, because I’m a genius, too. (Thanks for the tip, Chadwick.)