Photos
New 2012 trailer, you guys:
I do not trust you, Roland Emmerich! Admittedly, you didn’t even direct Deep Impact, and yet when I watch this trailer I can’t help but think of Deep Impact. Namely, the part in Deep Impact where the SPOILER ALERT asteroid makes a deep impact in the ocean and sends the ocean everywhere and it looks like we’re all going to drown in the ocean, except for the people who run to the top of the hill the fastest? That hill is so high! It is safe! And the water is lava! And the pillows are quicksand! Lame. And besides, even if you didn’t actually direct Deep Impact, you did direct The Day After Tomorrow, and if it’s true that in Roland Emmerich’s world, Jake Gyllenhaal can outrun ice and close the door in ice’s face, then surely John Cusack can know how to fly a jet plane through the sun, or whatever.
In any case, Fandango.
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the day after tomorrow 2
“WE DIDN’T LISTEN”
an appropriate reaction
I never understood the appeal of these movies. It’s like being a pitbull & wanting to watch a biopic about Michael Vick. You can’t pay me to see this drivel. Sometimes I think the MPAA should put a cap on the maximum proportion of a film’s budget on CGI & a minimum on screenwriting.
Ugh. Here’s the problem with apocalypse movies. (Well, one problem.) It’s clear that they began by brainstorming various destructions that actually look cool–the arms falling off the giant Jesus statue, the crack in the Sistine Chapel–but then they spazz the fuck out and go completely overboard. And then, of course, they have to have a “plot” and an “actor” when all they should’ve done in the first place was CGI a short video for the internet.
No one enjoys destroying historical landmarks like Roland Emmerich.
The Aztecs also had another ancient prophecy: “Roland Emmerich’s movies suck baboon balls.”
2 Days After 2Morrow
I like your avatar and the things you type.
seconded!
Day After Tomorrow
The Day After the Day After Tomorrow
Or in other words, “Two Days After Tomorrow”
i can honestly say i’ve never seen a disaster movie where a giraffe is transported via helicopter. this is noah’s ark on steroids.
At least I’ll be able to sleep knowing that the heir apparent to human-kinds survival is proficient in kick boxing, loves the Beta Band and doesn’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed
What’s the purpose of saving giraffes?
If we can only take certain animals to our new home on Mars, we might as well take the tastiest animals, right?
If we don’t save the giraffes, who will help us reach the highest and most delicious leaves in the new world?
This movie looks like it’s going to be the best movie and you need to come to terms with that, Dave. You have until November.
Well I’m glad Roland Emmerich had the foresight to cast Danny Glover as the president.
black president?! no way
John Cusack’s next movie should be “Escape from the Clutches of the Nicholas Cage Curse”. Cusack is plagued by the Nic template. Seriously, John- w. t. f.
Et tu Cusack? Et tu? Oh well, gots to pays the bills I guess.
Now you’re concerned? No “et tu” necessary when the man has already done Must Love Dogs. Which I saw because I support Lloyd Dobler no matter what, but I am NOT delusional about his choices.
anybody else notice the first 2 at the end of the trailer says something like “into a place…apocalypse”
Call me crazy, but Independence Day was as good as popcorn flicks come.
This could have some eye candy, apocalypse, satisfy the thirst of destruction effect in me. The question is can they make the plot not stupid enough that we can watch it without hating in at the same time?
Whenever these movies try to get all serious/this stuff could actually happen, they lose it.
UGH. WHY!!!
Why is this movie FILLED to the brim with actors I like and respect! From Cusack, to Chiwetel Ejiofor, to Thandie Newton, to the kid playing his son who is also on that show “Psych.” I won’t see it, and yet…there they are, all gathered together, baiting me to waste 2 hours just to find out Mayans created a time machine which allows you to reverse everything that just took place during those 2 hours.
ugh.
Anyone else think Roland Emmerich is just trying to mess with a bunch of fundie end-timers with this one. (“How many crazy Americans will kill zemselves after seeing ziss moveee?”) Also, Chiwetel Ejiofor?
Guess those American Gangster and Dirty Pretty Things royalties aren’t cutting it.
Things like this make my head hurt from smacking my forehead too many times. I suppose this goes without saying, but maybe not because Maybe Mr. Emmerich will read this: The Mayan calendar, like all calendars are cycles, and while yes, the calendar stops at December 20-something 2012, it doesn’t mean that time stops then. It means it’s time to get a new gigantic calendar.
I used to be childishly fearful of this apocalypse because it seemed more likely I guess than any of the other predictions, but I did happen to visit Guatemala recently and was told by many Mayans (in a jade museum, of all places) that the world isn’t going to end on that date. And I was relieved and felt stupid for believing that it would.
Maybe the joke will be on me… but yeah, not gonna see this movie.
So wait: “I used to think the Mayans were right about the world ending but then some Mayans told me it wasn’t going to end so now I don’t think it will. How could I have been so impressionable!”
Hah, good point. I don’t know, I really just dont want to believe the world is going to end that date and needed a Mayan to tell me so, I guess.
Oh man, when Queztlcoatl returns in 2012, you are gonna be so sorry you said that. You’re gonna have to do some extra bloodletting to make up for doubting.
Will that have to be genital bloodletting or will hearts torn from prisoners of war do?
Wait a minute. The president is BLACK in this movie? Well, now I’ve seen it all.
ps: lol @ 1:34
Can you believe I don’t have Photoshop?
Best avatar on the site.
I wonder if the movie is gonna explain why the world supposedly ends in 2012, or if they’re just gonna stick with “the Mayans said so”.
Stuff Falls Down: The Movie
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Wait, are you being sarcastic?
yoose wits is funnyj! all da commentors on da videogumj arr soo aces and ptihy! dey dont care wat yoose thinks, wat da worlds thinksj! dey just keeps it reals and funnysj! lololol!
I’ll take that as a maybe.
you’re not funny enough to be a troll. you’re not ironically unfunny enough to be a troll. this new comment friday thing sure is taxing.
ironyj! i lubs da ironys! teach me bouts da ironys, joy! wass hip and wass not manj?
you look like my brother.
Wait a second. An American Patriot wasn’t around yesterday or here today (yet). This clown started posting yesterday. In his recent comments is some stupid faux-ironic comment about how great Obama is.
My hypothesis: fatmanj = American Patriot
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: WE’RE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE, PEOPLE
fatmanj has been around longer than you think. He popped up right around when Da Cake Etur stopped posting. I hate myself.
I see. I’m off to retool my experiments!
i’s noo cake etur manj. i donts evens like da cakes. i lubs mah pies.
Yeah THIS DICK ain’t me. Ain’t fuckin funny either. I’m just not posting as much cause I’m trying TO LAY OFF the videogum and work on my novel for a bit.
Also WHAT THE HELL is up with this guys beef against the whitehouse??? Dumbass IS DEMOLISHING it in every film he has. I think we have ourselves a secret communist.
I, for one, would be interested in reading this novel you speak of. Have you thought of any titles? May I suggest “Fuckin Christian Bashin America Haterz”?
Nah man that doesn’t even sound like it fits THE THEMES.
Who cares? Call it that anyway. You can leave out the f-bomb if you want, though. You know, for kids.
BUT IT’S ABOUT THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION man. I dunno if that fits. We’ll see. WHO KNOWS.
The sloth heard round the world:
the one that started the revolution?
AN American Patriot: ONE Man’s Battle WITH Caps LOCK ETIQUETTE
“A harrowing TALE OF misdirected emphasis IN THE POST 9/11 World…”
FORWARD BY KANYE WEST
man I HATE kanye.
Please have someone MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT write my forward at least. Okay?
foreword, ya’ll. jus sayin.
NOPE this novel is EXPERIMENTAL so forward fits just fine, joy. THANKS FOR THE HELP though.
Videogum Idol
When the world ends
I hope to be driving
a Mercedes Benz
The CGI in this looks like a video game cutscene. Isn’t that what these types of movies usually bank on?
Any particular reason the word ‘species’ is ludicriously over pronounced “SPEESEEES!”??
Danny Glover (I forgive him for Gone Fishin’) and John Cusack together in a movie should be brilliant but my head says “NOOOOO”! rather loudly. I can only assume someone needs to pay for a patio or a garage extension.
Roland Emmerich movies = Destruction Porn
President Danny Glover? Who is the VP? Mel Gibson?
Are you suggesting that perhaps Danny Glover is too old for this shit?
Mankind’s oldest civilization? The Mayans?
I think the most unbelievable part of these movies is always the frantic make out/sex scene. If I were in this situation and decided to frantically sex my partner, I would be very embarrassed when I was done and found out that whatever I was taking care of (children, giraffes, the president) was dead. Yes, that’s the hardest part for me, not the world falling down or whatever.
I was thinking the same thing. The world is literally CRASHING DOWN around us! We probably have enough time to have sex without dying!
I served with Da Cake Eatur, I knew Da Cake Eatur, Da Cake Eatur was a friend of mine; Fatmanj, you’re no Da Cake Eatur.
Spooky Ghost, that reply button’s a BITCH huh? It’s okay, I too, HAVE EXPERIENCED THE PAIN.
It hurts bro
at least they got the music right
You know, usually when people get crushed in movies, you don’t really see the actual crushing in much detail. Thanks, Roland Emmerich, for taking Vatican People Crushing to a new, more exciting level.
Wow. This looks like poop on a stick. I’m just as afraid of republicans as the next pot and buttsex loving American, but I really doubt Palin/Jindal ’12 will cause fire to fall from the sky (onto John Cusack’s Winnebago, apparently).
Lame? How dare you, sir. Lava is still my favorite rainy-day game.
I love destruction porn.
I’ll probably enjoy this one.
The Suck Store called and apparently they’re running out of this trailer.
At first I thought “Black president in future movie!” Then I realized WE HAVE A FRIGGIN BLACK PRESIDENT!!
I’m fairly sure that St Peter’s Basilica would not break off like that… or roll over people.
off topic side note – I was friends with a girl once that cried during Independence Day and not because of wasting the $5.00 (remember movies were cheaper then) but because of the loss of human life.
“A cross between ‘Flipper’ and ‘Deep Impact…’ and a little ‘Bourne Identity,’ just to stay on the safe side.”
Disaster films occupy a very special place in my heart. BUT I still hold them up against a standard. STANDARDS, guys. I wanna see the earth destroyed as much as I the next guy, but “the government is building these ships” isn’t gonna cut it for me.
Also, Deep Impact had a black president. That movie came out over 10 years ago. Morgan Freeman, FTW.
SPOILER
I think Knowing sort of closed the book on the impending apocalypse fantasy. Seriously, check out Knowing!