Regardless of what Reign Over Me actually is as a movie, it has a built-in tragic flaw. Even if it was the most incredibly moving drama (it’s not) that featured the most incredible performances (it doesn’t) and the most stunning cinematography (whatever) and an incredible soundtrack (decent, but trying too hard), the simplest one-line description of the movie is and would always be this:

Adam Sandler’s 9/11 movie.

And there is absolutely no way to read that sentence without thinking that Reign Over Me is ridiculous and unnecessary. It’s not exactly ridiculous. It’s definitely unnecessary. Most importantly, though, it could have been a lot worse. SURPRISE!

Reign Over Me is about a Manhattan dentist played by Don Cheadle who lives with his wife (Jada Pinkett Smith) and children (Unknowns) in a beautiful apartment and who is constantly getting offers for blowjobs from his patients. Sure! One day on his way home he sees his old college roommate (Adam Sandler) ride by on a motorized scooter, so he stops his car in the middle of the street and chases after him because that’s a totally reasonable thing to do in New York that people do all the time. But Adam Sandler doesn’t hear him because he has big headphones on (because he is sad). The next night, Don Cheadle is doing a boring puzzle with his wife because marriage takes a lot of work, and jumps at the chance to drive his daughter to her friend’s house for a sleepover, and while he is dropping her off he sees Adam Sandler again (lucky!) and this time he stops him but Adam Sandler doesn’t recognize him. Don Cheadle still manages to convince him to go get a cup of coffee, and ends up going over to his apartment? Totally normal progression of running into an old friend you haven’t seen who appears to have amnesia and possibly Aspberger’s (which you can get from sadness now). The two of them quickly become friends, but it is a very volatile friendship! Adam Sandler will have angry outbursts and throw root beer in Don Cheadle’s face! But he also shows Don Cheadle the best time he’s had in awhile. Eventually, though, Don Cheadle decides that he wants to get Adam Sandler help, because Adam Sandler has PTSD from having lost his wife and his three daughters in 9/11. At first Adam Sandler is angry! But then he agrees that he needs help! But then he doesn’t respond very well to therapy! One night he gets drunk and finds a gun in his apartment, but he doesn’t have any bullets, but instead of going to the bullet store he goes out in the street and points the gun at a cop, hoping the cop will shoot him. Instead, he is arrested and sent to a psychiatric hospital for an evaluation. The DA determines that he should be hospitalized for a year, and his in-laws agree, because they are sad that he won’t talk to them anymore. There is a high powered court case, the way there always is when the state wants to hospitalize someone for mental illness (?) but the judge decides that it is up to Adam Sandler’s in-laws to decide whether or not he should be locked up or allowed to figure things out “on his own time”. Eventually, they decide to let him go because he kisses them on the cheek, moves out of his apartment without telling them where he’s going, and also Don Cheadle tells them to. Family! Meanwhile, Don Cheadle has become a better husband. Also the woman who tried to give him a blowjob and then threatened a lawsuit and is also his therapist friend’s sister (I think?) starts a love connection with Adam Sandler. It’s a 9/11 miracle!

Ugh. You know, if this had just been an overwrought drama about a depressed widower, even if it still starred Adam Sandler, we probably wouldn’t even be here right now. But someone had to bring 9/11 into it. Without minimizing the great human tragedy of September 11th, 2001, there is a secondary tragedy: the insufferable attempts of popular culture to make sense of and pay some kind of tribute to what happened. The fact of the matter is that genuine tragedy is not explainable, it’s not relatable, and it makes for terrible cathartic feel-good narratives. So when Adam Sandler’s fictional mother-in-law tells Don Cheadle about what happened to her fictional daughter and grandaughters on that very real day and says “I had all these plans for retirement. Then those monsters flew across the world and rearranged my dance card,” I want to throw myself out of a very tall building (sorry).

There’s also the problem of Adam Sandler’s history of viewer-conditioning that makes it impossible to hear him yell at someone without picturing a golf ball being cajoled into going into its home.

I’ve never liked him in a dramatic movie, which isn’t really his fault. He’s not technically “bad” at it, I just don’t really care. Trying to make a “serious” connection with a famous “comedic” actor is really difficult if not impossible. It’s not so much about me wanting to keep them in a pre-determined box as it is their successes as actors in creating and perpetuating that box in the first place. Just like television actors from highly successful series often have a difficult time convincing audiences that they can be any character other than the one they made famous over years of syndicated episodes, so too does the comedian have the impossible task of proving to people that he’s not joking. The boy who had a tight five about wolves, so to speak.

That being said, his character is just kind of weird. Admittedly, I don’t know that much about the real life symptoms or effects of PTSD. Does it really make people throw the word “faggot” around for no reason and actually enjoy Mel Brooks movies and want to eat Chinese food at the first hint of bad news?

Sure, Don Cheadle. “I’ve got to bring you down here, it’s crazy.” It’s crazy? It’s a Mel Brooks marathon. Tell your wife that it’s a Mel Brooks marathon and let her decide whether or not she needs you to bring her down there. I’m pretty sure she’ll be the judge of that. By the end of the movie you do start to wonder where a busy Manhattan dentist with a wife and children manages to get all of his free time. The idea in this movie, made popular by just about every movie in which “men” are the featured characters, including The Hangover, just as an example, is that women are always trying to keep them from having fun. Jada Pinkett Smith won’t let him have any fun! He’s a man! Men need to have fun! Well men also need to raise their fucking children. Go home, Don Cheadle!

The movie’s other main problem is its vacillation between broad brush strokes, and overly specific details. Adam Sandler can afford to hang out all day, riding around on his motor-scooter and not being a dentist anymore because he…well, he just has a lot of money now. “Between the government settlment and the insurance money.” That doesn’t seem right, but OK! I’m not a professor of 9/11 Pay Outs. Adam Sandler is constantly renovating his kitchen because that was the last thing he and his wife talked about before she died and it’s a symbol of his inability to move on with his life, which is a perfectly fine if somewhat heavy handed way for the movie to depict his inner turmoil, but then he explains that the renovation was his wife and daughters’ idea. Really? Later, his mother-in-law says of the finally finished kitchen “the girls would have loved this.” REALLY? They are children! They don’t give a fuck about kitchen renovations! And maybe I’m just overly-sensitive to this being the man-child with an inability to accept the responsibilities of adulthood, but somehow I feel like a crippled widower who spends all day sitting in his darkened apartment eating take out food and playing X-Box would not have this much toilet paper.

That is a reasonable, functional adult’s amount of toilet paper!

In the end, this movie is basically a variation on the ever-popular “retard teaches a jaded cynic how to enjoy the wonders of life again” genre, which we have already determined to be one of the very worst genres. The fact that Adam Sandler is just psychologically retarded is of little difference. I’m not saying that people don’t sometimes meet other people who reframe their priorities and help them to redefine themselves and their relationship to the world around them. I’m just saying that they almost never do that, especially when they’re SUFFERING FROM PTSD and living in a PERSONAL HELL OF ENDLESS EMOTIONAL ANGUISH.

Never Forget.

Next week: Margot at the Wedding. As always, please leave your suggestions in the comments or in an email. And if you haven’t done so already, please consult the Official Rules.

Comments (121)
  1. For a second there I thought this was going to be about the movie where Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey fight post-apocalyptic dragons and I was pretty excited. Then I was corrected by actually reading the first paragraph.

    Dragons > 9/11

  2. JP  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 -12

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  3. I had no insight as to the actual plot of this film prior to reading his article, I’d seen the previews and just assumed it was about Adam Sandler and Don Cheadle’s quest win the famous New York double’s bikeathon; I was sadly mistaken. It always seems to come off as rather tasteless when otherwise unnecessary movies are made in order to capitalize on events such as this… that’s right Oliver Stone, I said it.

  4. i don’t think you’ve proved me wrong gabe. i still liked this movie. BUT you have pointed out some obvious things that i may have overlooked the first time around. however, mel brooks is great. and so are free blowjobs. so get over it.

  5. Pretty sure wannabe-blowjob-giver Saffron Burrows was just therapist Liv Tyler’s patient, not her sister. But I thought it was Bad Ideas Jeans to fix up those two characters. “Oh hey, Crazy Traumatized by 9/11 friend, meet Crazy Traumatized by a Bad Relationship girl!”

  6. While Reign Over Me pretty well deserves whatever amount of shit you want to smear over its heavy-handed, ridiculous frame, I’m starting to feel like ANY plot at all would sound ridiculous in your capable, satirical hands. I’m not sure where the shitty plot ends and where Gabe’s Vision of Truth starts.

    Then Dick and Jane take off down a hill in a wagon. And Dick keeps repeating how they’re going down down down the hill – which is totally realistic dialogue for riding down in a hill in a wagon. Because parents frequently let their children ride down steep hills in rickety old wagons from the fifties with anthropomorphic dolls that have feelings.

    • I chuckled heartily upon reading this.

    • I really think we should test this theory by nominating Chinatown. If Gabe can successfully rip it apart, the hunt will be over because we’ll know that all movies are the worst. I’m not kidding.

    • Yeah, I mean, Gabe clearly missed the point about the toilet paper. People with PSTD/Giant Headphone Syndrome are always trying to build pyramids of things–toilet paper, jokes–but ultimately failing. See? The toilet paper pyramid has no top.

    • No no, this is how it would be:

      Then Dick and Jane take off down a hill in a wagon, you guys. And Dick KEEPS REPEATING how they’re going down down down the hill – which is totally realistic dialogue for riding down in a hill in a wagon. Woof. Because parents FREQUENTLY LET THEIR CHILDREN ride down steep hills in rickety old wagons from the fifties with anthropomorphic dolls that have feelings. This is something that actually happens.Woof.

      • sleeper  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +11

        Your Gabe uses too many capitals. I think you’re thinking of a different Gabe, one named An American Patriot. The ‘you guys’ is a good call, but probably not the ‘woof’s. He seems to reserve those for quick, in-and-out expressions of disapproval. TWMOAT reviews, as more in-depth expressions of disgust, seem to find Gabe using more eloquent means of telling these films to go fuck themselves.

    • So Marlon Brando is supposed to be this huge crime boss, yet no one is guarding him at all? Its obviously true because Al Pacino runs through the hospital screaming it. We get it, Scarface.

    • Here it is, you guys, the inaugural lecture by Constantinople, Professor of Gabriel Delahaye Studies at the University of Movie Reviewing. Bravo!

  7. bob  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +2

    Do “The Jackal” with Richard Gere and Bruce Willis. You’ll do the slow clap followed by the slow suicide attempt.

  8. The worst part of this? That last video clip.

  9. I liked this movie.

    That’s pretty much it.

  10. I think at one point Don Cheadle just casually jumps into Shadow of the Colossus, the epic brooding art film of video games.

  11. Not to turn this into, but the whole “woman as enemy of man” theme is a time honored tradition of American Literature. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN the novel and/or film “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”? You can even go as far back as Rip Van Winkle to see the whole “my wife/girlfriend never lets me be me” thing. Also, NEVER FORGET how evil the wives are portrayed in American Beauty and Ordinary People, so this is not a new thing (not that anyone was suggesting that) And to be fair, doesn’t every movie or TV show t marketed to women portray husbands/boyfriends as complete oafs?

    • The difference with your examples is that those women were at least relatively complex and relevant to their stories. Unlike the modern hack versions who seemingly exist just to annoy and perpetuate boring stereotypes. The sitcom thing where men are all morons is equally boring and crap. I think I just hate everything now. Except Mad Men. That’s a good show…

      • I think the point still stands that it is woman (no matter how complex her character) who is a chief obstacle in achieving an ideal manhood in American storytelling and that The Hangover or Knocked Up or any other film is doing anything new. And I don’t think you could say that Bradley Cooper or Ed Helms or Zach Galifinakis are portraying fully realized, complex characters so there is no reason for the women in the film to be any more realized (just the tiger). Also, the wife of Rip Van Winkle is not developed at all (I am the preeminent Washington Irving scholar in America).

  12. RunBMC  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  13. Sara  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +3

    The problem here is Mike Binder. He is King of The Worst.

  14. I feel like Big Headphones are becoming the universal sign for “Crazy Putty.” Technology is moving along, but you refuse to change, you ragamuffin! Danger!

    I would like to nominate Little Black Book. Memories of that movie give me PTSD, but with less toilet paper in storage.

  15. And why did they ditch the original “Love Reign Over Me” by The Who…a timeless classic that hasn’t aged a minute in 30 years…for fucking Eddie Vedder? That was my first clue to avoid this overwrought turkey.

    • I worked a video store when this movie came out and that song played in the trailer. I had no idea it was Eddie Vetter, however, I thought it was Adam Sandler.

      Thank you for clearing that up for me!

  16. yie ar kung-fu  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +3

    gabe, i like it best when you develop a sound argument for something being awful as opposed to just saying so because it’s expected.

  17. simonsays  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +2

    Street Kings next please.. Christ that movie was bad.

  18. simonsays  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +22

    Also, on the subject of Sandler’s acting, I thought he was great in the semi-serious semi-funny Punch-Drunk Love. Its a fantastic movie, one of PTA’s best. I’m well aware that I’m in the minority here…

  19. Regarding Sandler’s typecast anger, watch the telephone scene with Philip Seymour Hoffman in Punch Drunk Love. It’s intense and evokes no “Get in your hole!” or typical angry Sandler pejoratives. That movie needs to get more recognition however not on this site/feature.

  20. I caught a little bit of Demolition Man on TV this weekend. It’s like a 1990′s shit time capsule. I respectfully submit.

  21. Thank you for finally reviewing this piece of shit! You’re right, the worst part of the movie is it’s attempt to capitalize on the tragedy of 9/11. But there are oh so many other bad things about it. And I was distracted by how much he looked like Bob Dylan because of his hair, as RunBMC mentioned. Not distracted enough not to notice how bad the film was, but pretty damn distracted.

  22. Krista  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +2

    Swept Away. I don’t even know what to say about it because nothing happens.

  23. “I had all these plans for retirement. Then those monsters flew across the world and rearranged my dance card” <— mixed metaphors much?

    I nominate The Lake House because it made no sense and the ending was IMPOSSIBLE. if there was ever some BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT going on outside of the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, it was in The Lake House.

    the time-space continuum is still recovering.

    • “I had all these plans for retirement. Then those monsters flew across the world and rearranged my dance card”

      i had written something about inconsistent imagery and mixed metaphors here, but it seems to have disappeared… probably because i tried to make an arrow, which turned into an open bracket. i won’t try to recreate its effect.

    • hopeleslie  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +2

      yes, “the Lake House” please– I’ve been hoping to see a Sandra Bullock stinker reviewed for a while! Her other psuedo-time-traveling flick, “Premonition,” is pretty horrific as well, if you really hate yourself and want to go for a double feature.

  24. hilary  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 -2

    can you please write about Dogma. i just watched it, and it hurt bad.

  25. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  26. TuffGhost  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +3

    Can you review that video/song at the end? That shit is insulting.

  27. Aladdin  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 -27

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Sorry, but that’s actually a good movie. DISQUALIFIED.

    • I feel your thumbs-down pain, Aladdin. No one believes me that Sideways is the worst but I think I’m starting to come to terms with it.

      I will speak on your behalf though as there is definitely a scene in Lars and the Real Girl in which a man stands on the shore of a lake, looks up at the sky, and says, “Looks like a storm’s a comin’.” Following this statement, something bad happens (someone dies?). I’m pretty sure this kind of heavy- handed foreshadowing never happens in movies that are not the worst.

      • I believe you, Staveitoff. I fucking hated “Sideways.” Goddamn fucking yuppies make a movie. PLEASE review “Sideways” Gabe, at least so I can frame-grab a shot of Paul Giamatti dumping spat out wine on his head and use it as my new avatar.

  28. Jay  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +8

    How do you talk about this movie without talking about how awful a director Mike Binder is? In Mike Binder’s world, every man is a spoiled, immature man-child who just wants to have fun, every woman is keeping men from having fun, and beautiful woman always want to sleep with Mike Binder (Mind of the Married Man, The Upside of Anger). He’s really, really awful. Take note.

  29. Joe  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 -11

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Dewd, my blog is FULL of scenes of shitty movies already. I don’t find this movie touching or heartwarming or anything but money-grubbing and awful-but-hoping-that-because-it’s-about-9/11-people-will-not-care-or-notice-and-we-can-get-away-with-it.

  30. Pablo  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 +2

    The Onion A.V. Club did it!

  31. Pineapples  |   Posted on Jun 8th, 2009 -6

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  32. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Carlisle  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +11

      You fail at life for thinking Punchdrunk Love was a bad movie.

      • I loved Punch Drunk Love. There, I said it.

      • Wow you guys, relax….maybe I shouldn’t have said “everyone who likes it is mistaken” but, really? I “fail at life” for not loving an unfunny, unromantic, and emotionally stilted film that tries so so hard to be arty, starring an actor I almost categorically dislike? IF THAT IS SO WRONG THEN I DON’T WANT TO BE RIGHT.

    • see also:
      Peter Sellers in Being There
      Tom Hanks in Philadelphia (remember? he was considered a comedic actor back then. The Money Pit, nevah forget)
      Robin Williams in the few good movies he has (Dead Poets? Good Morning Vietnam? Good Will Hunting?)
      Bill Murray in Lost in Translation
      Hugh Laurie in the serious House eps
      …and on and on and on

  33. If the hunt was comprised of films like Havoc, Lost in Space, and Dreamcatchers all the time, it wouldn’t be as good. The best reviews are for films that are really trying to be good but fail on some level. I already know why Bicentennial Man was a terrible movie and I didn’t even have to see it, why do I need Gabe to tell me? It’s your Reign Over Mes, Crashes, A.I.s, I Am Sams and to a lesser extent your Butterfly Effects that make this hunt worth while. And while it’s fun to see Gabe knock the Baby Genius elites off their pedestals, I’d much rather he take on a challenge.

  34. kevin  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +6

    Gabe, can you try to get back to the titualr mission here? Every week it’s just you trolling with another mediocre film that came out in the last few years; sure, “Crash” deserves a spot in this hunt, but let’s get back to the truly awful and offensive mastershits rather than wasting your time on vaguely disappointing mid-budget 00s flicks. It’s disingenuous and boring.

  35. jock  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 -17

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  36. nick  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +5

    i’m glad you made an asperger’s joke a week before margot at the wedding because now youll have to admit that youre a pretentious over-priveleged whitey like the characters in that movie. so am i. it’s nothing to be ashamed of. just stop self-hating and get off our backs.

  37. buenosueno  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +12

    women don’t just try to spoil men’s fun in movies… it happens in real life too. my wife is always murdering anything resembling fun between me and our five month old son. just the other day i was sitting on the floor reading videogum while he lying on his stomach next to me chewing on some electrical chords and she swoops iin, picks him up, yells at me, and shits all over our good time.
    needless to say the kid started crying, because women are always standing in the way of men and their fun.
    true story.
    PS – the chords weren’t plugged into anything. women… those crazy emotions!

  38. I just saw Street Fighter: The Legend of Chunh Li. It was by far the WORST movie i have ever seen. Chris Clein is so fucking bad in that movie he is now one of my favorite actors.

  39. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  40. pikpik  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +2

    I recommend “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.”

    Before we even begin, there’s a major cast replacement with a disturbingly inferior counterpart. Also, in five years the main characters’ son has aged twenty years and developed an American accent. Then, some mummies appear and fuck shit up. But that’s a kind way of putting it. The editing and pacing of the movie was so horrible and nonsensical that the lifeless mass of standard cliches they lumped together and called a plot was transformed into a muddled pool of melted logic which somehow impossible became to follow even though every step of the journey was expected. The ‘special’ effects were the worst in the series and that’s saying something mighty powerful after the craptacular appearance of CGI pseudo-Dwayne Johnson as what was supposed to be the Scorpion King in the second movie. Jokes? I honestly don’t think it had any. I sure as hell wasn’t laughing, anyway. And let’s not forget the brilliant screenplay with such gems as, “Here we go again…” muttered by Brendan Fraser as another pile of rotten cliched zombies stumbled his way.

    It’s amazing. A++

  41. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  42. I agree with everyone about “Punchdrunk Love” being a fantastic movie. I know I’ve said it before, but this whole Gen X ‘everything sucks’ mentality mixed with Gen Y ‘everything that sucks is good’ mentality is getting overdone and tired. Replace WMOAT with some positivity, and start finding movies that are really fucking good that nobody’s given due credit.

    Either that, or go back to WMOAT that are actually WMOAT, like “The Apple”. What? You haven’t seen “The Apple”? The rock opera contemporary of “Xanadu” about Satan using Glam Rock to ruin a world of Jesus-loving Hippies? Well, then, continue with this jaded column and get reviewing…

    • buenosueno  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +3

      i know you’re being inherently hypocritical in your criticism of what WMOAT has become, but in the name of positivity (and for Gabe not selecting Chain Reaction because he’s a douche)… right on, man!

  43. 1) as usual, I nominate Gossip
    2) Can we make the next party game “explain a plot Gabe-style”?

  44. eric  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +6

    Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist! A major subplot is trying to find norah’s drunk friend via places she puked! Michael Cera drives a Yugo! He’s the only straight guy in an all gay band because he is sensitive and accepts their gayness. Yet the movie is entirely devoid of any gay affection because, well, gay people kissing is totally gross! Norah has never had an orgasm but decides to have one because this happened:

    Norah: There’s this part of Judaism that I like. Tikun Olam. It said that the world is broken into pieces and everyone has to find them and put them back together.
    Nick: Maybe we don’t have to find it. Maybe we are the pieces.
    Norah: Nick? I’m coming in…

    At this point Nick fingerbangs Norah(because that’s what sensitive guys do) and she makes cumming noises which are being recorded… at Electric Lady Studios! That’s right, her dad owns it because, you know, Jewish people own stuff in the entertainment business.

    • Wait…what?! Is anyone else put off at the fact Micheal Cera did something that sexual on the screen?

      • eric  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +4

        It wasn’t on screen, it just showed the vu meter peaking when she was “peaking”. oy vey. Seriously though, before Norah decided they were gonna hook up like two sixth graders behind the snapple machine in the school cafeteria, she was gonna have nick lay down a couple tracks in the same place countless rock stars had done before. Nick is totally cool with this though because he’s sensitive.

  45. MusclesMarinara  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +19

    - Knock Knock.

    - Who’s there?

    - 9/11.

    - 9/11 who?


  46. Frojo  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +2

    He’s playing Shadow of the Colossus on a Playstation 2 :) . I think he calls it an xbox though.

    anyway, i thought the movie was okay, at the very least it was earnest.

  47. cherry  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 +4

    i liked margot at the wedding.

    and what about punch drunk love?! i thought adam sandler did a good job and that’s a fairly serious role for him.

  48. mighty undies  |   Posted on Jun 9th, 2009 -1

    terrible terrible movie.
    and it would still be absolutely bad without the 9/11 thing.
    Adam Sandler is just the worst ever.

  49. pteranodon  |   Posted on Jun 10th, 2009 -9

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  50. Shane  |   Posted on Jun 11th, 2009 +2

    I used to work at a place that interviewed people to gauge their reactions to upcoming movie previews. I remember this one distinctly because, when it first came out, there was a point that Don Cheadle said, “His family died in a plane crash.” Several weeks later, a new version of the preview came out, and at the same point, Don Cheadle said, “His family died in 9/11.”

    And I threw up in my mouth a little.

  51. Do Eagle Eye. It makes no sense on any level that has or will be invented.

  52. Kelly  |   Posted on Jun 11th, 2009 -8

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • speckgreen  |   Posted on Jun 11th, 2009 +2

      Wow! I think you might be taking this a bit too seriously. I thought the movie did a crap job of showing PTSD and I know a bit about it on a professional level. However, that’s not really the point of this review.

    • Noah  |   Posted on Jun 11th, 2009 +3

      Kelly, I am embarrassed for you. I hope that sounds more condescending on the page as it does in my head.

  53. I want to nominate the movie “Frailty”. I saw it on a double-date with my husband and his best friend. I’m incredibly cheap, but I wouldn’t have minded walking right out on this piece of shit.

    It stars Bill Paxton (there’s your first clue it’s crap) and Matthew McConaughey (and there’s your 2nd). Bill Paxton is a father who is convinced that he is on a mission from God to kill demons who live inside ordinary people, and the people don’t even know that they are demons. So he kills these innocent people in front of his kids. One kid believes in his dad, the other one believes that the dad is evil for killing. Matthew McConaughey plays his son as a grown-up who is telling their story to an FBI agent.

    Me and the friend’s girlfriend hated it. My husband and his friend liked it. A lot. Of course, my husband also liked The Master of Disguise with Dana Carvey, another one that should be nominated for this hunt.

    • buenosueno  |   Posted on Jun 15th, 2009 +2

      another example of women shitting all over men’s good times.

      first, this movie is good. and not only does it star bill paxton, but he directed it too.
      second, if you’d seen it with just you and your girlfriend you’d have liked it very much like you should have
      you saw it with men and you wanted to ruin their night, like you want to ruin their lives and had no choice but to hate it.
      women… what a bunch of douches

  54. Color of Night  |   Posted on Jun 12th, 2009 +1

    The worst movie of all time is Color of Night (1994)

  55. Adam Sandler yelling at Q. Awesome.

  56. clementine_k  |   Posted on Jun 13th, 2009 0

    Gabe, you shoud definitely try with Antichrist. It starts as a porn, turns into something like a drama on how loss is terrible and you become a freak, then come the talkin (?!) animals and images taken straight from animal planet i guess, after that you get your hopes high for some real rosmary’s baby kind of exciting stuff but instead you get something like saw 7, and the ending…. well, you just have to see that. I must say, as for one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, this one gave me lots of laughs. But I guess that wasn’t exactly what von Trier hoped for.

  57. Casting Adam Sandler in a movie about 9/11, who thought this was a good idea?

  58. End Of The World  |   Posted on Jun 14th, 2009 0

    I’d like to recommend John Q if I could. It’s on TNT right now and it is really some shit.

  59. Did anyone ever ‘recommend’ Meet Joe Black? I’ve seen it three times. Why you ask? Because sometimes I like to torture myself. Hopkins is just phoning it in and Pitt acts like a stoned toddler. The movie is at least twice as long as it needs to be (although it could also be argued it did not need to ‘be’ at all). Just terrible…

  60. Raz  |   Posted on Jun 14th, 2009 0

    Dear Hollywood,
    Get a new fucking diner set. I have seen this diner in Old School and Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and Reign on Me. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it elsewhere too. It’s getting annoying. Get on that.
    Thank you,

  61. tim muse  |   Posted on Jun 15th, 2009 -3

    not to be mean but you should kill yourself if your life is just making sure other people know their live’s work is worthless. youre mean and you suck and if you died nobody would notice…no offense. just let people live their lives and don’t make them feel bad for it

  62. tim muse  |   Posted on Jun 15th, 2009 -2

    not to be mean but you should kill yourself if your life is just making sure other people know their live’s work is worthless. youre mean and you suck and if you died nobody would notice…no offense. just let people live their lives and don’t make them feel bad for it

  63. tim muse  |   Posted on Jun 15th, 2009 -2

    not to be mean but you should kill yourself if your life is just making sure other people know their live’s work is worthless. youre mean and you suck and if you died nobody would notice…no offense. just let people live their lives and don’t make them feel bad for it

  64. vermits   |   Posted on Jun 15th, 2009 +2

    There should be a committee that decides how to fairly punish Hollywood for these dumbfuck decisions. Like, “ok you want to make a movie that features a dog that plays basketball who resists the trappings of fame and fortune (bitches)in order to play host a charity basketball tournament that benefits 911 widows refereed by Adam Sandler with aspergers who looks like early period Bob Dylan and we’ll call it Hotel Rwanda for Dogs – ok well in that case we get to make you watch your own stupid movie every day for the rest of your life in the company of beautiful woman who are willing to sleep with you if you can prove that you are a talented filmmaker .

    Also I want a committee that regulates cover songs so that when Limp Biskett performs “Behind Blue Eyes” we, as a nation, can exercise a morally justified campaign to end our own lives.

  65. mighty undies  |   Posted on Jun 15th, 2009 0

    I vote for Cold Mountain again.

  66. I have to suggest The Notebook or The Passion of the Christ.

  67. I nominate ‘I Know Who Killed Me”
    SO BAD

  68. ben  |   Posted on Aug 14th, 2009 +1

    I love Reign Over Me
    Your main point for hating it (9/11) is weak and I feel like you’re scraping the barrel chucking a “too much toilet paper” card in there.

    Punch Drunk Love is also amazing.

  69. This movie rules. You guys suck.

  70. This movie rules. You guys suck.

  71. This isn’t even remotely funny.

  72. I’m seeing a lot of comments on here, just like I saw a lot of comments and reviews when it came out, saying that the film tried to capitalize on 9/11. This simply is not true. They actually went out of their way to keep 9/11 completely out of all the trailers, editing the line “His whole family died in the 9/11 bombings” (or something of that nature, it might’ve been “on 9/11″) to “His whole family died in a plane crash”. The only way you could know it was based around 9/11 before actually seeing the film was from researching the movie (something most movie-goers don’t do) or reading reviews (most of which claimed it was capitalizing on 9/11), something else most movie goers don’t do. Most people decide whether or not to see a film based on the cast and the quality of the trailers, and none of the trailers ever mentioned 9/11.


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