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I’m going to start out by saying this: we will not be regularly covering I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here on this site. I know that saying that is like calling someone to tell them you’re never calling them again, but the two excruciating hours I spent with this show last night were enough to convince me that the degree of contempt I have for both the show and any person who can manage to watch it every night for four nights a week is so strong that I must recuse myself. Seriously, get a life, America. I understand that The Spencer And Heidi Villain Show has a degree of inherent entertainment, but four nights per week for anyone not on doctor-mandated bed rest is inexcusable. Anyway, if you want to see Spencer’s rants about how the villain is the one who gets the Oscar or his (scripted) call to NBC’s Ben Silverman or his rap or the part where he slapped a bottle of water out of half of Frangela’s hand, go to any other website on the internet. But if you want to see him and Heidi LEADING ROD BLAGOJEVICH’S WIFE IN PRAYER, here that is. Christians (and all other people) should boycott this show.

Heidi “has a connection.” Because that’s how Jesus is supposed to work:

I like how this clip is just three minutes out of two (horrible) hours, yet it succinctly showcases how delusional and ignorant Spencer, Heidi, Patti Blagojevich, and Janice Dickinson are (though, sadly, everyone else on the show is surprisingly decent, and therefore boring). If there was any actual reason to watch this show, it would be for the somewhat shocking theme of Christianity, which Heidi and Spencer mention over and over. If those two had identified themselves as members of any other religion, there would be a press release out today calling for a boycott. Though it was funny when Heidi summoned the full power of her Lord to give her the strength to gobble down a rat’s tail. (Funny — but not five hours per week of one’s precious life funny. Worst.)

Comments (31)
  1. Did you actually watch this Lindsay? I’m so sorry. ::Big hugs::

  2. Janice Dickinson took part in the British version last year, although I suppose any advantage that buys her is handicapped by her personality making her oh-so-vote-outable.

  3. Oh my. Only three and a half minutes and I am in actual, physical pain. Not even Jesus could get me through even an hour of this tripe.

  4. Of all the industries/commodities you could just add the word “Big” onto to make it sound like you understand how special interest lobbies work, “Big Money” and “Big Politics” are sadly (brilliantly) not part of that group.

  5. Blagojevich is who you actually would’ve voted for in a presidential election, Spencer (because of how he was nominated…)? But wait, what about that other qualified, upstanding candidate whom you actually voted for? McCain vs. (not nominated and impeached) Blagojevich. Decisions, decisions!

  6. grizzlyfish  |   Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 +2

    um i definitely would have watched this to see bat boy scare the shit outta spencer http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/8645/im-a-celebrity-get-me-out-of-here/

  7. Spencer calling truth the most important thing, the most powerful thing? Irony exploded.

  8. As much contempt as I have for Spencer, I have to admit the man (boy?) is a genius. my theory is, his fortune has been made, not so much out of a desperate grab for attention, but a cold calculated understanding of the desperation of American pop culture for the hateable. think about it. he has somehow stayed in the public eye despite lacking any sort of redeeming qualities and/or talent and a weird beard. but Spencer and Heidi, monstrosity that they are, have continued to capture the hate of America to the point that they don’t have to act desperately, the public is already desperate for them. and I think that this is somehow the result of many calculated genius business moves. does this make him any less gross?, of course not, if anything it makes him more so since he is actually very self-aware and still acts the way he does. but it does make him slightly more villianous and fun to dislike, as well as some sort of weird model for the American dream. the ends justify the means for him and that end has many many dollars… :( sad face

    • There’s a few things wrong with your post. Mainly mentioning the words “genius”, “calculated understanding” and “self-aware” when referring to those two hollowed-out ego corpses. I really think you’re giving them too much credit in terms of “planning” anything in terms of becoming celebrities. They’re just rich douche bags who fell ass over backwards into a equally douchebaggy reality show, momentarily baited the public into hating/caring about them via laughably staged non events and, have now thankfully (if we can all just stop watching) begun their inevitable trip to HasBeenville.

  9. I hate myself for watching this. I hate myself for looking forward to this tonight. But my mom and I secretly like horrible people. It makes good comedy.
    I’m also glad Speidi’s gone, because I could never live guilt free while giving them my attention. So now I don’t have to feel bad.

  10. I don’t know, watching Spencer gag on a live mantis or whatever that thing was… that was pretty great. You know who loses here? Alec Baldwin. He’s at home, flipping through channels, waiting for Conan, and then he sees his sad sack of a brother eating goddamn cow innards. Poor guy.

  11. Is Lou Diamond Phillips being punished for something? Why is he on this show? Who’s doing this to him?

    • I think this punishment is for starring in the TV movie “Route 666.” While he seems like a perfectly nice guy, knowingly taking part in the creation of a movie that is shitty even within made-for-SciFi Channel-movie standards has to have some sort of negative, specific ramifications. It just has to. Sorry, LDP.

    • Seriously! You know LDP is crying himself to sleep on that island, like, “I was fucking RITCHIE VALENS. I was in YOUNG GUNS. How am I on par with the kid who ruined “You Really Got Me”?

  12. Lindsay, Spencer is “new to Christianity”. Cut him a break. Ha.
    Heidi’s meltdown was schadenfreude-licious. I could watch this twenty times.

  13. I loved how while Spencer talked, Heidi just looked braindead, like seriously not understandung one word.

  14. I’ll admit that I watched every minute of this show, and loved it. Every time Heidi says something completely idiotic it makes me feel like the world is at ease.

  15. The sheer simulacral-ness (simulacritude? simulacrity?) of Spencer and Heidi’s careers would make Baudrillard’s brain explode.

  16. As I understand it, the only reason Heidi and Spencer came back after leaving 3 times was because Damien Fahey was holding Heidi’s plastic nose hostage. Seriously though, where did that thing go?

  17. my retinas just detached.

  18. Chris Davis  |   Posted on Jun 2nd, 2009 +1

    Did anyone else seem to think that Janice Dickinson looked a little too sinister when she said, “Your husband will kill ‘em. He will kill ‘em.” Like she thinks he is actually going to murder someone.

    And praying that Blago triumphs “in the name of Jesus” is just too priceless to even fathom.

  19. ROD BLAGOJEVICH IS THE SPENCER OF POLITICS.

    You heard it straight from the goat’s mouth.

  20. Wow Patti Blagojevich is full of shit. There was crates full of evidence indicting him, and Patti played a large part in the wrongdoings. Fail on all of them.

  21. God that was weird. I am religious. But whenever someone goes “let’s pray” I get so fucking uncomfortable. And it was not well meant in this case, so super uncomfortable.
    Heidi, makeup or no makeup, I don’t care about you. But you do look more youthful without it. Why is everyone sweating so much? Doesn’t Spencer’s beard itch? Jesus Christ. Gross. I don’t think I care enough to watch.

  22. Spencer’s gonna win because he has super powers, duh.

  23. I’m late to this party. But WHAT?!?!? First off, it is HYSTERICAL to watch Janice Dickinson try to have an opinion on Blago. “You’re so brave!” Yes, that’s right, Rod was so picked on. Mean people of Illinois! Ok, Tenured Professor of Political Scandals and Corruption in Illinois.

    Secondly, Patti. It’s so hard? You lost your job? Won’t someone think of the children of Illinois? Wah? GET SOME DIGNITY!! As the wife of Spencer Pratt’s next President of the United States, the last place you should be is in the jungle becoming BFF’s with Janice Dickinson and receiving your religious guidance from a pair of 23-year-old bleached blond fauxality stars from Beverly Hills. ESPECIALLY if they’re Spencer and Heidi Pratt. I don’t care if they’re Christian or if they pray over every bug they ingest. WHATEVER. But they should not be anyone’s spiritual leaders! Not EVER.

    Can you imagine Michelle Obama stuck on the Island with these idiots? Or Laura Bush, even? Or Betty Ford? The only lady political figure that fits in with that dynamic is Sarah Palin, and even she’d bring some dignity and class to the party. She at least has some wicked moose hunting skills and shooting wolves from a plane skills . . . The only skills these yokels have is surviving embarrassing plastic surgery and memorizing paparazzi phone numbers.

    The fact that you did not hang up the phone when your jackass agent called to say some jackass producer had a great reality tv opportunity for you, Patti Blagojevich, is reason enough why you and your husband belong in JAIL.

  24. prayerwarrior  |   Posted on Oct 9th, 2009 0

    Pray For Israel & Jews?

    Pray For World Homeless Families. & Please Pray For Homeless Women to? In The Name of Jesus Christ & all There health Problem In The Name Of Jesus Christ

    2.

    Please Pray for Street Bullies In The Name Of Jesus Christ & Pray For Schools

    Prays for President Obama and Wife, & Children?s and his new administration. Your efforts will work powerfully in our nation.

    I?M RAYING FOR YOU AND OTHER PEOPLE AROUND ME

    Prayer for families is the very foundation that keeps a family unit together. Have you heard the phrase “A family that prays together stays together”? The concept is true – a family that has their focus on praying to the Lord Jesus Christ has a foundation that may be shaken at times, but it will withstand all that comes against them.

    4. Prayers for Justice and Peace

  25. prayerwarrior  |   Posted on Oct 9th, 2009 0

    Pray For Israel & Jews?

    Pray For World Homeless Families. & Please Pray For Homeless Women to? In The Name of Jesus Christ & all There health Problem In The Name Of Jesus Christ

    2.

    Please Pray for Street Bullies In The Name Of Jesus Christ & Pray For Schools

    Prays for President Obama and Wife, & Children?s and his new administration. Your efforts will work powerfully in our nation.

    I?M RAYING FOR YOU AND OTHER PEOPLE AROUND ME

    Prayer for families is the very foundation that keeps a family unit together. Have you heard the phrase “A family that prays together stays together”? The concept is true – a family that has their focus on praying to the Lord Jesus Christ has a foundation that may be shaken at times, but it will withstand all that comes against them.

    4. Prayers for Justice and Peace

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