At first glance, this ABC News Now (ABC’s lifestyle cable network) interview with Hello Kitty, or, I’m sorry, a “pop culture journalist” lady who speaks for Hello Kitty, because Hello Kitty can only stand there, bow, and make “Oops!” gestures because she doesn’t have a mouth, seems just funny because it exists. But nooooo, it’s so much even stupider than that! These are two grown women (and someone in a Hello Kitty furry suit) who probably went to journalism school, and they’re talking reverently about (“It’s considered an honor to be involved with Hello Kitty”) and interviewing an inanimate object. Ladies, look at yourselves! You’re full grown adults! I truly believed that a network news organization would never ask a man to participate in a charade like this, but then I remembered pretty much everything Al Roker has ever done. Here’s the interview with Hello Kitty that America apparently wants:

Also. No. Not “Good To Know”:

We all have, or should have, enormous admiration for the people who do The Onion News Network, but watching stuff like this makes their news parody job seem really easy. (I propose an ONN Today Now! segment where the hosts interview a Snuggie.)

Comments (21)
  1. Two headlines with curses in them today? You guys are fired up!

  2. >>segment where the hosts interview a Snuggie
    This post is one of my favorite things you’ve written, Lindsay.

  3. Hello Kitty has man arms. yikes.

  4. HAHA! Coin purse.

  5. caractacus  |   Posted on May 29th, 2009 +11

    NOT A CAT,

  6. She’s a girl? Who looks like a cat? And she doesn’t have a mouth because she’s got some sort of crazy ESP shit going on in her chest? Creepy.

  7. Hello Kitty is technically a mime.
    I hate mimes.
    Therefore, I hate Hello Kitty.

    syllogisms for that ass.

  8. Sal  |   Posted on May 29th, 2009 +3

    I actually lost several IQ points through watching that.

  9. This is waaaaay funnier than that stupid Reno 911 clip. I love when she looks into the dead doll eyes of a lady in a furry suit for clarification. This made my afternoon.

  10. Tell you what, world’s uffin sick right now, and this ain’t helpin.

  11. Tell you what, world’s uffin sick right now, and this ain’t helpin.

  12. Her face is “plain”?? And she took that as a compliment. Backwards eastern values for you. I’d like to keep in mind that there’s a war going on and not to mention the millions and millions of starving people in the world while watching this. Then again I’m posting on Videogum..

  13. Say Whaaa  |   Posted on May 29th, 2009 +10

    If Hello Kitty is only 5 apples tall, then that reporter is the shortest person in the world.

  14. that was the longest interview i ever watched.

  15. These are not journalists. They are broadcasters. Couldn’t make it through j-school because they just didn’t feel like saving the entire fucking world WITH ONLY A PEN.

  16. Jay  |   Posted on May 29th, 2009 +4

    Kitty is actually a japanese ambassador (no kidding), so show more respect guys!

  17. What the fuck was up with that dude dressed in a Superhero Hello Kitty costume?

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