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There is no worse advertiser than milk. As if it wasn’t bad enough that their product is blamed for all kinds of things like childhood obesity and drug-resistant MRSA infections, they seem never be planning to let up with that disgusting viscous curdled- milk-mustache-on-tween-pop-stars campaign. Now, Big Milk has outdone itself with a series of visually interesting animated ads that bring back stereotypes about women from, like, the 18th century (“The princess’s horrible hair was the reason she was unmarried”), and are also so sneaky and misinforming as to just be flat-out lies. Milk hates women:
The calcium in milk (or in anything else with calcium) helps with the terrible PMS that keeps princesses from being attractive. Aren’t we BEYOND THIS?:
And the WORST one, which, aside from being appallingly sexist, actually contains a major and obvious grammatical mistake. (“Until a wise peasant, without using neither force nor a sword”) It’s already clear this was created by total morons, but thanks for the official stamp:
Oh, and it becomes obvious at the end that these commercials are aimed at Spanish-speaking Americans, to add another level of condescension to the mix. If the Dairy Industry wants to be more truthful, they should do one about a young princess, who wishes and dreams for only one thing: to get her first period by the age of seven… (Via Adrants.)
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Milk be ignant.
Word. They made these spots without using neither facts nor common sense.
beavegangum.com
While this may be terrible for women and hispanics, it’s great for us lactose-intolerant folks. The less milk there is in the world, the lighter is the burden we must bear and smoother is the path we must travel.
Incidentally, there was also a 2005 study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine that suggested there may be a link between calcium/vitamin D consumption and reduced risk of symptoms of PMS, though the researchers suggested a larger study would be needed to verify and quantify this effect.
So, maybe?
The more you know.
Thanks NBC.
No problem, champ.
The study is actually an interesting read, though the confidence interval is so big that the study is actually really inconclusive. Vitamin D did appeared to be more preventative than calcium, which these commercials conveniently omit, but they subdivided the sample into so many groups that they really weakened their data. Kind of an ineffective study.
Can you link the study?
Soytenly:
http://archinte.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/165/11/1246?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=calcium+PMS&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT
SOYtenly. lactose intolerance.
tee hee.
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Relax, technodick.
I’m not being a dick, I’m just saying that as these commercials are clearly fairytale themed, they did pretty well following the theme. And if not wanting to marry a woman with SNAKE HAIR, makes me a chauvinist, then sue me. There is such a thing as being over sensitive, and I’m pretty sure that Lindsay is over reacting to a little commercial.
The snake thing is clearly a fairytale metaphor for nasty hair: they don?t say the princess was unmarried because her hair was alive and deadly; they say she?s unmarried because her hair is ugly.
Also, the wise peasant ?conquered the princesses love? by giving her a glass of milk, which is pretty condescending. And the whole ?tame-the-princesses-ugly-hair? contest that the king thought up is very paternalistic. Maybe the princess LIKED her hair. Maybe she doesn?t want to get married.
Finally, THE WISE PEASANT JUST CUT IN LINE!!! What the hell?! That line was stretching for miles outside the castle and he just walked to the front like it wasn?t no thang.
DON?T MARRY HIM PRINCESS!!! HE?S A CHEAT WITH NO RESPECT FOR COMMON COURTESY!!!
fairytales are traditionally pretty paternalistic if not misogynistic. Just because it’s a “traditional” story doesn’t mean we have to re-create them. “Conquered her love”? PMS destroying whole villages? fuck that shit. If only ladies drank more milk like their dad’s told them to, then they’d be more beautiful and tolerable to men.
Exhibit A: You used the phrase “super PC women’s lib” and didn’t seem to think it was overkill.
Exhibit B: Because the phrase “super PC women’s lib” evidently wasn’t overkill, you wrote “not everything has to be. . .all the time,” I suppose for the purpose of uber-overkill. Do you live in some world where you think to yourself, “Aargh, the feminism at Videogum must be stopped!”
Exhibit C: Because your name is bryan, I’m assuming you have a dick, so you haven’t had to deal with all the cultural shit females have to deal with about their bodies.
Conclusion: you are a dick. So relax, technodick.
If there was ever a technojeremy in need of relaxing, it is you.
Do you hate all fairy tales too? Or do you reserve your righteous indignation for milk ads that no one is going to be offended by?
Oh, bryan, you’re approaching Douchecon One. Left without an argument, you’re stuck with “well, you must hate X!”
Actually, I love fairy tales. Even taught a freshman class on them. And yes, I reserve all my righteous indignation for ads no one could possibly be offended by (with the exceptions of Lindsay, the writer at Adrants, HB, I PEE GOLD, Constantinople, dude, and me, and probably others who just haven’t commented at Videogum, not to mention those giving your comments minuses).
Would you like a glass of milk, Boof?
Haha, I just think it’s hilarious that you said overly sensitive, which kind of insiniuates that maybe some milk should be consumed to alleviate the symptoms of PMS.
According to these fairytale milk commercials Lindsay just needs to have her love conquered.
Wait, really? “Her bad hair was the reason she was unmarried” is not cause for a little alarm? No wait, I know exactly where this leads: “Just take a joke, feminists, about the heavy handed social pressure to join in the institution of marriage and all it’s dogma from every facet of your life, even from the milk lobby. It’s just a friggin joke. btw. man, what’s up with broads wanting a stupid rock and holding us men down with marriage? Crazy bitches.”
Wait. Milk cures PMS? Sweet. Time to make my girlfriend lactose intolerant.
Lindsay eats, shoots and hates milk.
I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the grammatical mistake.
“without neither”?
Oh wait, nevermind. You’re right. Without and neither are redundant.
It’s a double negative.
“Until a wise peasant, without using neither force nor sword” is logically equivalent to “Until a wise peasant, with using force or sword” by De Morgan’s. Which is clearly not what they meant.
I don’t think it’s a double negative. Or at least, that it’s incorrect. I think the rules are you say either/or or you say neither/nor but never the twain shall meet. I think it’s correct.
it’s not the “neither/nor” pair. it is the “without” that makes them incorrect.
Thanks! I get it now.
Conquered her love?
It does a body good. Pass it on.
Sounds like SOMEONE could use a nice cold glass of milk…
So, what they’re trying to say is that if I don’t drink milk I’ll be a hideous Medusa? Could this really be true?
I’m sorry but was that supposed to be the same Princess in both clips? Does milk give you good hair and no PMS but leaves you with the memory of a retarded goldfish so that you – Duh Duh Duh – dont even remeber to drink your milk?
in this case i think the quality of the animation outweighs the sexism.
especialy cus, ya know, its a commercial. this aint no high art
As i first watched it, all i thought was “Oh no…. oh no….you guys, no”
But then i thought about it more. Even though it is a super-over applied thing PMS still exists. And assuming milk does in fact help ease PMS symptoms (I am not a scientist) than fine whatever. That doesn’t seem to be a bad thing. Maybe an incredibly unwise focal point for a marketing campaign but WHATEVER. Not particularly sensitive, but also not sexist.
OH YEAH AND THEN I WATCHED THE SECOND VIDEO. Sorry Milk. Try again.
Wait, really? “Her bad hair was the reason she was unmarried” is not cause for a little alarm? No wait, I know exactly where this leads: “Just take a joke, feminists, about the heavy handed social pressure to join in the institution of marriage and all it’s dogma from every facet of your life, even from the milk lobby. It’s just a friggin joke. btw. man, what’s up with broads wanting a stupid rock and holding us men down with marriage? Crazy bitches.”
You guys need to watch the Milk commercials in Canada. They’re incredible. Little three or four second spots of crazy animations in between commercials.
I second that, they’re excellent. And you couldn’t call a single one sexist.
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From,
MILK.
as someone with nice hair who never drank milk.. yeah.
but Lindsay is hyper sensitive about everything involving women appearance, I’ve noticed.
FeministMilkstiquegum.com
Feminine.* Damn it.
Milk is fucking horrible.
“Maybe the princess LIKED her hair. Maybe she doesn?t want to get married.”
Ahahaha this is too rich. Do you spend all of your time furiously defending the rights of obviously archaic and generalized fantasy princess characters?
WE MUST NEVER SPEAK AGAIN OF ANY MYTHS INVOLVING PRINCESSES. THEY ARE ALL PATRIARCHAL AND PATERNALISTIC, AND ESPECIALLY BAD IF THEY TRY TO SELL MILK. GO VEGAN.
FUCK YOU, DAD.
i wasn’t furious. i was actually having a pretty good time. i usually am anytime i find an excuse to use my caps lock.
you look like you were having fun too there, champ.
i think we can all agree: vegans rule, cow-suckers drool
(but if you’re a Blythe doll, your mileage may vary)
wow, are all the douchebags who get offended by everything running out of ridiculous things to get offended by and so are now moving onto really really fucking out of left field things to get offended by? jesus christ, these ads are fucking harmless. thank god for republicans, otherwise all you radical lefties would ban the entire english language because it might hurt someone’s feelings. which, by the way, these ads would never do. they suck, but they are not offensive.
So i just pour it all over my hair? Going to get me a husband, or at least illegitimate fatherless children because all men are bastards.
Man that milk advert is so sexist, I cannot stand sexism.