leonard_nimoy_driveway.jpg

Leonard Nimoy, who is most famous for his work as the host of Standby: Lights! Camera! Action! (although he’s widely regarded as a genius for his performance in Leonard Nimoy Demonstrates the Magnavision Videodisc Player ) is the focus of an AP profile today. The occasion is his upcoming cameo in this weekend’s highly anticipated Star Trek movie, as well as a role in the season finale of Fringe. Fair enough. Good for him. He deserves an AP profile. But it opens with one of the most ridiculous paragraphs in journalism. From the AP:

Outside of Leonard Nimoy’s Bel Air home, workers are busy constructing a new driveway, replacing flagstone with sleek cement as part of an ongoing conversion from Mediterranean to modern. Though the 78-year-old actor is also undergoing a metamorphosis of sorts, he isn’t paving over his past.

Haha. Writing!

Woof. So, just to recap, Leonard Nimoy is NOT paving over his past, but he IS paving over his driveway. Got it.

Stereogum extra-credit:

Leonard Nimoy still has briars in his clothes
did he lay you down in those?
the names on the stones were all erased
and Leonard Nimoy thought it was you that he had chased

Leonard Nimoy’s driveway to driveway drunk
Leonard Nimoy don’t remember this too well
glad he has the scrapes to prove
prove it was Leonard Nimoy who fell
and the names were all we knew
and the names were all erased

From stage to stage Leonard Nimoy flew
A drink in every hand
Leonard Nimoy’s hand on your heart had been replaced
And he thought it was you that he had chased

I want a raise, boss.

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Comments (7)
  1. SAVE THE NEWSPAPERS!

    BLOGS ARE DESTROYING THE WRITTEN WORD. DON’T YOU SEE YOU NEED A JOURNALISM DEGREE TO WRITE DEEP SHIT!!!!

  2. Whoever wrote that paragraph while watching HGTV and reading “The Secret”. Either that or he/she got finally got their big break writing for the AP after years of floundering in the Obituary section.

  3. The PowerPop Pop-Pop  |   Posted on May 7th, 2009

    One time on “GIlmore Girls”, Rory got assigned to write a piece for her high school paper about the repaving of the school parking lot, and it was supposed to be this total “oh snap” moment. But then, like two scenes later, the journalism teacher was all praising her for turning a dull assignment into an elegant metaphor about the passage of time, or something like that.

    My point is, now we know where Rory Gilmore is working these days.

  4. “from stage to stage Leonard Nimoy flew”…so true, so true. he needs to fly between more stages, i’m thinking.

  5. You are wrong. THIS is the most ridiculous paragraph (sentence) in journalism:

    “The reigning Sexiest Man Alive doesn’t think what happened to his new movie is very sexy. ”

    Writing, indeed.

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