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I have been struggling all day with whether or not to post this video of a vlogger insisting on his heterosexuality, because the truth is we have RULES here about who we make fun of, and I still don’t trust you monsters to iBite your e-Tongues when it comes to commenting obvious mean jokes you should know better than to make about terribly sad people on YouTube who don’t need your hackneyed hate. This is not that type of website. But after watching this (nine minute) video twice, in its entirety, I came to the realization that I’m not even sure this guy is for real. This is like high-level performance art. And if he is for real, he is an adult posting his vlogs on YouTube and addressing an “audience,” and as such he lives in a world of consequences. Either way, it’s amazing. And hilarious. And I shouldn’t have to suffer/enjoy this alone, so let’s just share this mesmerizing, incredible video together. Like a FAMILY.
Seriously, this guy is like a mind-blowing logic factory, churning out a blown mind with every pull of the logic lever.
It’s a nice companion piece to his previous video in which he claims an episode of Family Guy (naturally) is further evidence of the FACT that “homosexual and gayness” is “detestable” and “just plain wrong.” Perfect. This guy has it all figured out.
And just in case there was any confusion (and there is so much confusion):
Got it! He’s all yours, ladies.
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You’re the worst kind of person.
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I like you better as Da Cake Eatur
Because there’s a fine line between being funny and being offensive. This “American Patriot” character you’ve invented tries to be funny from this weird, right wing perspective which is a lame schtick that’s already tired. Since the humor fails all we’re left with is your inane, homophobic ramblings.
You’re not Lisa Lampinelli. You’re not Chris Rock. Give it up.
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Why are you even commenting on this blog? Although it’s not directly stated this is obviously a pretty liberal blog. So before you go and ruffle more feathers take a look at yourself in the mirror.
Freedom, duh.
“Not everyone has to be gay just because you liberals think it’s okay.”
“Maybe you should all look in the mirror before you try to cast judgement ON THE INTERNET OH NO.”
So, let me get thsi straight it’s ok for you to cast judgment on us but it’s not ok for us to cast judgement on either you or “GrammelGroob”? If so, your definition of freedom is fucked. Also, if you’re such a “patriot” why are you nay saying all of our comments? If anything you should be egging us on. If you were a real “patriot” you would support the first amendment. Just in case you forgot that’s the one that states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. “
Okay, SON. First, who the fuck is GrammelGroob and why are we talking about him? Why are you trying to bring other people into this dick? Second: yeah, that pretty much sums it up. You guys could judge me if you were fuckin right instead of shitting out propaganda. I fought for my freedom, what have you done ? Third, I bet the Founding Fathers are fuckin high fiving the shit out of each other in their graves right now “Hell yeah! First amendment used to DEFEND BLOG COMMENTS! Definition of freedom! USA USA USA!”
I apologize for upsetting you assholes who think you have some entitlement to what can be blogged on here, but seriously grow a pair dickbrains.
I would also like to point out that you’re name is I PEE GOLD. Right, okay. Yeah completely. When I looked at the sign in page, I immediately wanted to have a name screaming such competence and intelligence and bathroom humor. MAKE THE NOBEL PRIZE OUT TO I PEE GOLD.
Why the fuck are we arguing about what I can tell is nothing again? Cause I stood up for this kid? Ya’ll are assholes.
My text is so squished.
I think the funniest part of all this is that you think you’re truly upsetting anyone. You assume that you’re winning the argument somehow, yet you’re the one using caps lock and swearing. You have the right to make asinine comments on this blog the way we have the right to call this kid out for being a closet case (power bottom, for sure). Have fun at dinner, dude!
^ Win.
I think the funniest part is that it looks like you guys think he’s serious.
I think the funniest part is that An American Patriot actually thought to himself: what the world needs is another hyperironic parody of right-wing idealogues a la Stephen Colbert but instead of having a TV show I’ll just post into the comments in videogum and instead of being funny I’ll just be a douchebag. And when I say the “funniest part” I mean “the saddest part.”
grammelgroob is the name of the guy you’re trying so hard to defend, smartypants.
you act as if people actually read your comments! ahhh tsk tsk tsk you pompous bastard you…
“you’re”
Real words for the win.
Thanks man. I’m always trying to improve my use of God’s language. I’ll be sure to pay more attention to my contractions next time.
seriously, go be rude-crude-and-inconsiderate somewhere else
HAHAHAHA No. Freedom .
you must have this website confused with toolgum
You smoke tons of crack.
blackpigpigxxx: “You are gay.”
GrammelGroob: “I am straight, but I am also a pedophile! Didn’t you see the toys in my video?”
The Playboy isn’t enough proof for me, I need pics of him boning a girl.
would you settle for him boning an inflatable girl? Because that video actually exists.
gabe, you just made my day, via the “boobies and vaginas”
This is Asperger’s Syndrome. Don’t know if he is gay or straight, but definitely can see he doesn’t have normal social abilities.
Completely agreed; poor kid.
I was going to say something along these lines. I mean, the guy could very easily be for real. I knew a guy in his late thirties who still lived with his mother whose “condition” was never spoken of. He was a lot like this young man here. God bless ‘em both.
i think this video has made me psychotic
This completely mindfucked me.
SO MUCH TALKING. Worth it for the eye-close-and-moan every time he mentions or is supposedly thinking about female’s “outsides”.
This made me so uncomfortable. The inside of his head must be an absolute locked-door nightmare.
There’s a level of repression and denial that is so severe that it actually stunts emotional development – this guy is still mentally a child, basically. I’ve seen something really similar before in person: a guy my age (early 20s, then) who spoke in like, a little kid’s voice, biked around singing the female parts of musicals to himself, and fixated on male children’s show hosts. He insisted he was straight. He, like this guy (guessing from the accent) was from the deep South.
The thought of how this happens to a person? Gives me the serious wiggins.
I have to agree with Brocktoon’s assessment – there is something going on here with this guy’s social/cognitive abilities…
I’m going to bet that he is either the greatest actor of our time or he is Jeffrey Dahmer reincarnated.
This might be the most heartbreaking, hilarious, balls-out-insane, terrifying, side-splittingly saddest thing that has ever been on the internet. “Starting wars and such”, “boobies and vaginas”, “y’all be damned”, whatever the fuck he’s wearing around his neck, etc… etc… etc…
I’d feel like a dick for laughing at this if it wasn’t for the other video.
But seriously, if it turns out that this is performance art, please get this man an agent, blog, movie deal, book deal, and TV show STAT. On second thought, do those things anyway.
“but i digress by holding a playboy.” best segue ever!
Yeah, he “digresses” like 30 times. Insane.
Also, this is real life Seth Galifianakis. Only sadder. I was almost waiting for him to say “I call my dog Funyuns because he likes to eat Funyuns all the time.”
oh man, yay.
also, sweet getup, straight guy.
I’d say about 70% of youtube videos can be taken as satirical genius but only 1% of them actually are. I think this falls somewhere in that 70%.
On women: “We have to learn to abide by them.” Word.
He reminds me of my nephew, who is (also) a high-functioning autistic.
FYI, his views on women are those of the Old Testament. Property of their husband and treated likewise. He repeatedly sexually harassed his best friend after she told him to stop, to the point that she has severed all ties with him.
Not for anything, but that issue of Playboy seems pretty old.
I find that creepy for some reason.
Couldn’t make it through the whole thing. I think the Asperger’s diagnosis was probably right on, and I started to feel bad every time I laughed. The digression-by-holding-a-playboy was pretty awesome though, but my favorite moment was his brief Rick Astley crooning.
Chris-Chan? In my Videogum?
It’s more likely than you think.
It’s nice how mostly everyone hast turned this into Compassionategum.
Maybe it’s just me, but I was completely hypnotized by his animal necklace. It makes everything just a little bit sadder / creepier…
i am now referencing all women as “sweet pandas”
Word.
AHHH! It hot when guys whisper sweet panda in my ear! I just want to make them bad ass Pikachu necklaces and knit rainbow striped sweaters in appreciation!!!
Yeah, is that a bear?
If so, there’s no way this is honest.
This guy is obviously a jokester. A good jokester. That comment by him on the video SEALS IT.
Aww, I hope he’s being funny, ’cause otherwise…
4chan.
At first I felt sorry for him, then his more… racist and sexist characteristics were egged out, I found out he has restraining orders, and now… it’s just sad.
All the toys and games behind him/every word/every facial movement suggest Aspergers. My girlfriend’s dad and little brothers all have Aspergers and honestly this looks all too familiar.
Doesn’t mean its not still funny…boobies.
All the toys and games behind him/every word/every facial movement suggest Aspergers. My girlfriend’s dad and little brothers all have Aspergers and honestly this looks all too familiar.
Doesn’t mean its not still funny…boobies.
Did he just sing rickroll? amazing.
but i see you have a comment from the youtube account on there. Whether or not this guy in the video is legit, (i think he is), the youtube account is not. There are many videos posted under grammelgroob showing various people and not just our striped crusader. So grammelgroob is satirical, but i think this guy was earnest as the day is long. (and also pretty gay)
hes not gay or straight. he’s asexual
Will Forte plays a character in Brief Interviews With Hideous Men. This guy is that character. It doesn’t matter if this is genuine or not, this guy is terrifying. Maybe he’s just sad and lonely, but he still seems like he’s got bodies in his cellar. “Look. I have all these beautiful women. I’m straight.”
I was totally fine accepting that he was just really fucking goofy or this was planned until he started groaning and caressing the air. That’s what serial killers do.
causing wars and such!
definitely agree on the asperger’s.
” I put ~most~ of my rage into positive outcomes ” dunh duhn duhn DUHN
____
best rickroll ever
i’m just going to love this and not think too much about it.
also….”my sweet panda.” i will say that to everyone i know now.
I spend a lot of time around people with autism and Asperger’s, and I agree that this guy is clearly on the spectrum. As for the apparently homophobic message…meh. Someone told him “don’t be gay” was one of the rules and he remembers it. Probably word for word.. During the holidays, my son (high-functioning autistic) subjects innocent shoppers to long diatribes about the evils of encouraging Santa Claus (Santa spys on you and then breaks into your house while you’re asleep- why does everyone act like this is okay?!). Most people have at least a little sense of what’s going on and cut my boy some slack. Very few peple are complete asshats.
But this guy lives in a world of consequences
Thank you Gabe, for pointing that out.
If anything, I feel like you have some kind of kinship with this loser Patriot. By the way he speaks and your own tone, I’d think you and this kid were one in the same. I love chicks too, but I also love bonin them and they love it too. I love who he coves the fact that he can’t get laid with all the words and guises. Kinda feel bad for him though, and you too Patriot.
Well bless you for worrying about me man, but I am so fuckin into my ladies it’s ridiculous. I do love bonin chicks and they love it too. Unfortunately I have not been with a women since I lost my wife a few years back. She left me for her doubles partner down at the country club. I’ll be back on those women soon enough, though, don’t ya’ll worry none.
Not worried, cool, thanks.
wtf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=466c-bFC0DA
I am sorry….this is just so perfectly funny….it cannot really be real…right? I mean on the one hand…it’s so funny it can’t be real, but it’s also so funny, that if this guy was able to make this character up, he’s a damn genius and needs fame right away.
“Boobies! Vaginas! mmmm…..Gorgeous. Very gorgeous.”
Brilliant….very brilliant.
Or, it actually could be real…in that case…so very very sad. But still hilarious. So basically, he is either comedic genius or has no sense of humor at all. Crazy. Peace.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “but I digress with holding a playboy”
the video is a mirror, the real Christian Weston Chandler can be found at youtube profile “cchansonichu”
Wow, Tim and Eric have really outdone themselves this time…
Is there a way to edit comments after they are posted? I just noticed that
1.Videogum is not a place to compete for humanitarian awards.
2. I’m kind of an asshat.
lol
the guy had to have had a gun to his head for this. wow. that’s the only logical explanation for the video. (worlds are definitely colliding.)
also, i have a question: after 9 minutes and 51 seconds of this, am I gay now?
My young, naïve friend, may I inform you that what you have watched is not a performance. It’s very, very real. See that little yellow Sonic the Hedgehog medallion? It’s made of Crayola Magic, painted, coated in vernish, and has copyright scribblings behind. How do we know? Because Ickeriss69 from Youtube actually has a video of him destroying such medallion, and because that guy’s next few videos are done without his medallion. We know because a lot of people from his town certify these facts, and because there are legal records of him doing this kind of shit.
He rickrolls us at 3:00.
He’s gotta be the only person on the internet who DOESN’T know the words to that song. He’s singing along to a clip from, you guessed it, Family Guy!
This is very, very real. Chris-chan is 100% serious. And there is so much more to this nightmare of a man[child]…
(He doesn’t have Asperger’s, though.)
I can assure you that he is 100% homosexual; he is just a closet case, textbook example. Plus, he doesn’t seem like an actor. I doubt an amateur actor would go through all of this trouble living in a room filled with children’s toys and games out of his own dollar just to entertain us all.
Then again, I could be wrong, you know.
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan
this man is very much for real, I am afraid
He’s a really good listener.
Of course my image doesn’t show up. My bad.
http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/3826/munchp.gif
I wonder what Da Cake Eatur has to say about this.
While everyone is trying to figure out is he real, is he gay, is this a movie, is this his real bedroom, toys, etc. (and I do love his necklace and his own boobies and how the stripes line up perfectly on his shirt…arms and torso!)…I’m focusing on what he is saying about women, and well, I just have to agree that women are awesome and RULE and men have got us into a big pickle (Freudian moment).
While everyone is trying to figure out is he real, is he gay, is this a movie, is this his real bedroom, toys, etc. (and I do love his necklace and his own boobies and how the stripes line up perfectly on his shirt…arms and torso!)…I’m focusing on what he is saying about women, and well, I just have to agree that women are awesome and RULE and men have got us into a big pickle (Freudian moment).
I believe him but at least he recognizes a storm is coming and he is a part of the first line of defense.
But hey guys, ladies in bikinis right?
wow, Gabe. I thought you had a pretty sensitive and advanced
detector.
You need to get the inspector in there because your gauge seems to be off.
that shirt really enhances the appearance of his already ample bust. nice rack.
Wow um that was me at 13 for a month, sans moobs though…
You know what kind of guys talk about appreciating the “outer beauty” of women?
Guys who never get laid and/or have really ugly girlfriends.
You know what kind of guys talk about appreciating the “inner beauty” of women?
Guys who never get laid and/or have really ugly girlfriends.
The pink border is a nice touch!
He sounds like Mark Levin.
Another vote for Asperger’s Syndrome here. The shit he gets on the internet (his own naive fault, to be sure) can’t be helping the situation.
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-chan
This guy has been the stuff of legends for years on the meaner sides of the internet. he was fed to the chans a long fucking time ago and is a classic lolcow. This coverage ( which will be pretty fucking huge, since its getting both stereogum visits and redirections from andrew sullivan) will spark a lollercoaster, I can tell you that
I think his video is the most delusional, denying aand self deceptive I’ve seen. The girl is Gay and everyone seems to be able to tell except him.
I think his video is the most delusional, denying aand self deceptive I’ve seen. The girl is Gay and everyone seems to be able to tell except him.
I thought Andy Kaufman had died, but here he is.
This is just your typical Sunday morning church sermon. Righteous, boring, pulling in the random Never Gonna Give You Up, and showing a Playboy. So he’s clearly gay and has Asbergers – what was your Preacher Priest like? Gosh you guys.
This guy is completely serious, the necklace he’s got on is his home-made “Sonichu” medallion, because he also thinks he is an amazing character designer and cartoonist.
I’ve been following him for some time now (by the way, the video is actually a mirror since Chris-chan, the individual in question, is known to delete his own videos on whim).
He is real, far too real. If he’s not real, and he’s managed to forge an entire childhood (which has been obtained, with over 900 images from his childhood and adolescence), ed-mail history, etc., then he is the greatest avant-garde artist and con man in history.
This guy comes across as learning-disabled. Once I realized that (about one minute into it), it stopped being funny.
This is by far Chris-Chan’s best video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7XrVgM5E6Y
I’ve been waiting for something of his to go viral for awhile now. There’s a user that has mirrors of everything he’s done, just search “The Chronicles of Chris-Chan.”
BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! That is GOLD! EPIC WIN!
“I dedicate this Music Video to Ivy.
Also, in addition to if anyone messes up this relationship, if anyone messes with Ivy, Period, I Swear to God and Jesus that I will cease drawing my comics and efforts to recovering the Sonichu Site. As long as y’all just Back Off, everyone’s cool.
Have a good day.
Christian Weston Chandler.”
If there had been youtube in the 80′s and 90′s, we’d have similar classic videos like this from the lineups at fox, the corner, hot air etc.
I dont think you guys quite undestand what you have come across
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=E3D1C96C48651EB0
this guy has saved all of chris chan’s videos and has put them together in this playlist
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=4EAA2A54AFDDFBE1
and she has made the auidio book versions of chris chan’s comic sonichu. Which is about a hybrd of sonic the hedgehog and pikachu.
Go back to bed, Chris
Hello faggots
That is awesome! This explains everything!
You guys have no idea how insane this individual is.
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris_chan
I warn you. You will throw up.
JULAY!
JUUUUUULLLLAAAAYY!
I really feel sorry for the guy, he seem to be tortured.
Ummm I am gay, and I say we don’t claim him. You breeders can have this tragic mess.
if anyone wants to see more of his videos:
http://www.youtube.com/user/AVDierten
“The Chronicles of Chris-Chan.” Guys, he’s MUCH worse than you think…MUCH WORSE.
Not to be all moralistic, but this is sad. It’s sad that we’re watching this for entertainment. Don’t we have better things to do than make fun of this very confused person?
If this is genuine I see it as further proof that homosexuality is not a decision, as most religions state, and that this poor guy- who is obviously gay, has been brought up to hate homosexuals and has fought his own feelings since puberty. I only hope he can unlearn religion, as that is possible, unlike sexual orientation.
anyone making fun of this guy should know that their fighing a losing battle
How is exposing him for the danger to humanity that he is, and getting him locked away in an asylum where he can’t hurt anyone else a losing battle?
slowpoke.jpg
He fucken “cares about the women”!!! Maybe the G rated women, like in teh Pokemon movies women…but aren’t they under 18 years old? Hmmm. And what guy wears his glasses on a chain, or whatever that gay shit is??? This guy needs to get off the internet bc I’m sensing psycho-ped. I really don’t want him caring about me either! Ewwwww!!!
”But anyway as I was saying you know, just as you know, when you masturbate, you don’t have to use your fingers, you could like, uh, find something that’s like, you could use like a banana, or a pickle, I mean, it would be a waste of a fruit, but if you used a banana, you could still eat the insides”.-That guy
MY SWEET PANDA…ROFL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
The majority of his gender should be able to enjoy sweet pandas.
FYI, his views on women are those of the Old Testament. Property of their husband and treated likewise. He repeatedly sexually harassed his best friend after she told him to stop, to the point that she has severed all ties with him.